Only a Matter of Time
by bronze v lee sin
Summary: Shortly after his third year at Sobu High begins, Hachiman finds out that he is terminally ill. While the others are moving on to the next stage in life, he's moving on to the final stage of his. How will this affect him and everyone around him? This is my first fanfic and I really love the series, so here goes.
1. Prologue

Prologue:

As I looked outside the window, I could see bright, luscious petals floating off of the cherry blossom trees. Although they were falling rather rapidly due to the slight breeze, I swore I could count them one by one as they drifted downward. The sun was setting, and as it did so, illuminated the sky with a beautiful red, orange tone that seemed to compliment the pink petals, causing them to glow a bright magenta when the sun's rays passed through them. As I wondered how it was possible for me to absorb this much information about a rather mundane scene that was taking place outside the window, a firm tug on my right arm and a loud sob quickly brought me back.

It all started about two months ago when I began to have headaches during summer break. At first, I figured I had just come down with something or that it was just the summer heat getting to me. After that, I figured I just had chronic migraines. I mean, that was a fairly common issue and I'd had migraines before. The next time I went to the doctor's office for my normal checkup, I described what was going on to him and he prescribed me some migraine medication which worked surprisingly well. It all but completely relieved the headaches that were tormenting me and keeping me holed up in my room for the latter half of the summer. He also referred me to an oncology center to have a test done, noting that there probably wasn't anything seriously wrong but that it was better to be safe than sorry. Well, there was something wrong. Terribly wrong.

"Onii-chan…" whispered Komachi weakly as she clung to me. I embraced her with my other arm and began rubbing her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. As I glanced away from her, I took a look at my more immediate surroundings, only now fully aware of the fact that I was sitting in the consultation room of an oncology clinic. Unlike one might expect, the interior wasn't plain, gloomy, drab, or somber as the situation that I was currently in might have them believe. The room was painted a light blue and the walls were lined with glass bookshelves and metal railings that gave off a modern vibe. If I had to guess without knowing where I was, I would've said that this room looked like an office. Hmm… Now that I think of it, the consultation room was probably just an extension of the lead oncologist's office. However, this wasn't really something I should've been fixated upon given the current circumstances.

I still had yet to process the predicament that I was in. I was paying full attention when the lead oncologist took me, my mother and my sister into this room and gave the unfortunate news that I had been diagnosed with some incurable brain cancer. "Glioblastoma multiforme" it was. I distinctly remembered that term, but I couldn't remember most of the words spoken after that. Something about how I had approximately 15 months left to live and that it was most advisable for my family to make the proper insurance arrangements before I passed. I think. Despite the fact that I was literally being handed a death sentence, I didn't feel anything. Fear was absent. Sorrow and sadness were absent. I sure as hell wasn't happy, but I was… I think the right word to describe it would be numb. Who knows? Maybe I was still in shock and the wave of emotions would hit me soon after. Maybe hearing that I was about to die soon rendered me permanently unable to feel anything. At this point, I couldn't tell the difference between the two. As my mind continued to wander, I could hear the lead oncologist talking to my mother and sister about the details of my terminal ailment.

"...unfortunate that this would happen to your son, Hikigaya-san. It's actually rare for cases like this to happen in children and teenagers, although it's not completely unheard of. Most cases that we see occur in middle-aged…"

As the oncologist continued on, I locked myself away in my own thoughts, completely disinterested in the details. I began to think about the Service Club and how they would take it when I told them. Despite the fact that I was originally on not-so-friendly terms with them, we had grown rather close in recent months given developments that took place in the club itself. However, all the rants I had given, the cynical thoughts I had about the people around me, the changes I noticed taking place in my life and the lives around me… None of that seemed to matter anymore. It was all temporary, just like my life was and would be shown to be (even if sooner than I would've liked). As I raised my head again, I noticed that Komachi was still looking at me with grief-filled eyes and my mother was still listening to the oncologist go on.

"…Your son was a relatively healthy person with a rather conservative lifestyle. We haven't confirmed it yet, but the most likely culprit for this case is rooted in genetics. Your son's case is probably a Classical subtype, where we've noted a higher than normal expression of epidermal growth…"

Ugh. All this seemed like alien talk to me and I honestly didn't want to think about it. I was exhausted and I just wanted to go home and sleep. Soon after this thought entered my mind, the oncologist led us out the door we walked back out into the parking lot. Before I knew it, I was lying in my bed, hoping to wake up in the morning to a different reality where all that had just transpired was only a dream. If only it were that easy...


	2. Chapter 1: Facing the Music

Chapter 1: Facing the Music

As I opened my eyes, I read the faint numbers on my alarm clock read that it was current 7 in the morning and time to get ready for school. I had slept off the entire weekend since coming home from the oncology center, with a subdued conscience and a blank mind. Although I had spent the last 48 hours doing nothing but laying around and playing games on my phone, I felt extra drowsy and I really didn't want to go to school. However, I knew that I couldn't lay around in the dark forever, so I sluggishly picked myself up and began trudging towards the kitchen to make breakfast. As I turned on the light and walked over to the pantry, I saw Komachi at the table, already eating what appeared to be a bowl of cereal and some toast.

"Good morning, Onii-chan. Are you feeling alright?" she asked meekly with a little smile on her face.

"I'm feeling fine." I responded simply.

For some reason, Komachi didn't quite seem like herself. Nothing was wrong per say, but this particular morning didn't seem to fit the usual routine. Normally, she would jump into my room and shake me until I woke up whenever I woke up past 6:30, yelling at me to get ready for the day but today she was a little more polite, greeting me rather formally when I walked in the kitchen to get breakfast.

"If you need anything, just let me know and I'll help you out right away, alright Onii-chan?" she said with a soft tone.

"Alright. Thanks." I muttered, pouring myself a bowl of rice puffs.

For the rest of the morning until I left, no other words were spoken between us although Komachi sat herself next to me and leaned on my shoulder as I finished my breakfast. I knew that she was still deeply affected by the news that we had received a few days ago, so I chose to let her rest on my shoulder in silence, hoping that she would return to her usual self soon. The remainder of the morning was uneventful, with my sister remaining silent as I gave her a ride to school before taking off to my own. As I got off my bike and chained it to the school's bike rack, I noticed a note slip out of my backpack. I picked it up and read it.

 _Hachiman,_

 _Hiratsuka-sensei has been notified of your condition. She'll speak to you when you get to class to sort out if and how you wish to inform your club mates of the issue._

 _Love,_

 _Kaa-san_

 _P.S. Take it easy today_

I folded the note and placed it in the front pocket of my school bag. As I walked up the stairs towards my classroom, I sighed. In the 2 days I spent lazing around in bed and playing games on my phone, I still hadn't been able to figure out a way to come out with the fact that I was going to die within the next year and a half. I mean, how was I supposed to do that? Keeping it a secret seemed like a pretty dumb idea, but there didn't seem to be a proper way to put such drastic information forth. I continued up the stairs and down the hall until I reached my classroom. I reached my desk and placed my bag underneath my seat, looking around at the classroom. Other than the fact that Totsuka appeared to be running late, nothing seemed to be any different from before. My eyes opened wide as I saw Yuigahama approach me from the back of the classroom. She greeted me with the usual "Yahallo" and was about to say something else when Hiratsuka-sensei walked in the classroom and walked up to my desk.

"Ahh, Hikigaya. There you are. I was looking for you. Would you mind speaking with me in my office? Sorry, Yuigahama. We won't be long. Just a little chat." She said, cordially smiling at Yuigahama in the process.

"O-oh. Okay. I'll see you when class starts then, Hikki!" Yuigahama said, giving me her usual beaming smile.

With that, Hiratsuka-sensei and I began the walk to her office. I was expecting her to say something, but she remained silent throughout the entire walk, making it slightly awkward. However, I knew that what she was going to talk to me about concerned a sensitive matter, so I understood and remained silent as well. When we got to her office, the strange smell of lavender perfume and cigarette smoke filled my nostrils. All the other teachers seemed to have gone to their respective classes to set up for the day already, so it was just us two in the usually crowded office space. Pulling a rather comfy-looking chair from another teacher's workspace, she finally spoke.

"Here you go. Make yourself comfortable, Hikigaya." She said as she ushered me into the seat with an open arm gesture. I seated myself and looked at her as she placed her hands on her desk clasped together.

"Before I go any further, how are you feeling?" she asked in a light tone, similar to the tone that Komachi used with me this morning.

"I'm fine." I replied simply

"Glad to hear. Your mother spoke to me on the phone a couple days ago telling me about your situation. I'm really sorry to hear about it. Truly, Hikigaya. I really am. I'd just like you to know that if you're having any trouble or you need any help with anything, you can come to me personally. I'm available at any time. Don't hesitate if you need anything, alright?" she spoke with a look of sincerity on her face.

"Okay." I said, waiting to hear if she had anything more to say. As I began to stretch my legs, she continued.

"I know this is a really difficult question for you for you to be answering, and I apologize in advance if it hits you a lot harder than you're ready for, but…" Hiratsuka-sensei let out a small sigh before going on. "Would you like to inform the club of your condition or would it be better if I handled that?"

I looked down at the floor, nervously tapping my shoes together as I did so. I wanted to be the one to tell Yukinoshita and Yuigahama about it, but at the same time I couldn't fathomably put together a way to do so. Just thinking about telling them about the fact that I had a relatively short amount of time left to live was almost as frightening as the fact itself. I gritted my teeth together and let the question linger a little longer. Hiratsuka-sensei seemed to understand and didn't rush me. I let out a large sigh and looked up at her.

"I… I'd like for you to tell them about it if you don't mind. I just- I don't know. If it were something else I'd just tell them, but I don't know how to tell them about this. Honestly." I said. Hiratsuka-sensei nodded in response.

"It's okay, Hikigaya. I understand." Hiratsuka-sensei replied, once again nodding her head in the process.

"When would you like me to tell them?" she asked.

I looked up at the ceiling, giving the question some thought. I wanted to avoid having it wait too long, but I didn't want to have my clubmates go throughout the entire day with this plaguing their minds.

"Uhh- Sometime today before club but not too early." I said. Hiratsuka-sensei simply nodded again and opened her mouth to speak again.

"How about at the end of lunch? It's a couple hours before club so they'll also have a little bit of time to process it before they see you in club." She suggested

"That works." I replied.

"Okay. Well, in any case, class is already supposed to have started so let's head back. And remember, if there's anything you need- and that means ANYTHING- don't be afraid to let me know, okay? Even if you've just had a rough day and you want me to take you out for some ramen or something, just let me know and I'll free my schedule. Alright?" Hiratsuka-sensei offered with a smile on her face.

"Alright. Thanks for helping."

"No problem, Hikigaya."

With that, we walked back to the classroom in silence and I took my seat once again. Hiratsuka-sensei began taking role and what was likely to be the longest school day of my life finally began.


	3. Chapter 2: Calm Before the Storm

Chapter 2: Calm Before the Storm

BRRRRRIIIINGGGG

My head quickly shot up and my eyes opened rapidly as I heard the final bell of the day go off. The usual commotion went on around me and as I groggily looked around I saw people exiting the classroom. They were all either going home or heading to whatever extracurricular activities they normally partook in. Whether it be heading to the mall, going to sports practice or club activit- oh, wait. Shit. That's right. I was about to head towards an extremely tense, awkward day in the Service Club. As I realized this, my shoulders immediately drooped and I begrudgingly picked up my belongings to head towards the clubroom. As I exited the classroom, Hiratsuka-sensei came out of a classroom a few doors down the hall and beckoned towards me with her index finger. Walking over to her, she motioned for me to enter the classroom, which was now empty. Right after I entered the classroom, she quietly closed the door and sat on one of the front row seats. She cleared her throat.

"Ahem. So, Hikigaya. How was your day?" she asked using a rare, endearing tone that I could only recall her using with me on a handful of other occasions.

"It was slow and exhausting, but other than that fine, I suppose." I replied

"Ahh. Yeah, I can imagine. Well, I told Yuigahama and Yukinoshita about your condition right after lunch. They... they seemed to be just as shocked as I was when I found out, but they've nonetheless been informed. I know it's going to be a rough day for all of you, but if you want my advice, try to act as normal as you can." She said, looking down as she did so. I furrowed my brow in confusion, wondering if she wanted me to just ignore the elephant in the room.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked

"I'm not saying to just flat out pretend that there's absolutely nothing wrong, but try to keep the same atmosphere that you've had before going. Don't let the weight of your situation press down on you because if you do, the remainder of your days in that club are going to be depressing and miserable. I don't want that to happen and deep down, neither do you." She answered, looking back up at me. She walked towards me and gently put her hand on my shoulder. As she did so, a solemn smile formed on her face. She continued.

"Hikigaya, right now, time is precious. You don't have a lot of it left and I want to make sure that what time you do spend here is well spent and as bright as possible for you."

I looked at her, studying her expression. She had only spoken to me like this twice before: once after the fiasco during the culture festival my first year and again when we talked on the bridge a few months back. Usually when we talked, we'd just brief over club matters and then skip straight over to the newest issue of JUMP, but this was one of those rare cases where we were having a serious, heart to heart conversation. I didn't mind, but part of me was exhausted and just wanted to return to the old, comfortable status quo. Unfortunately given my predicament, achieving that was next to impossible, so I just gave a gentle nod. Trying to lighten the mood, I spoke up.

"So, uh… Did you notice me fall asleep in class today?" I asked with my eyebrows raised

"Fufu. Of course I did, you ass. You started snoring towards the end and even I could hear it half the way across the classroom. You're lucky you had an excuse." She responded sarcastically. "But… Given the circumstances, I understand why…"

Quickly, her tone returned to the same degree of sincerity that it was at a few seconds ago and silence fell over us once again. She patted me on the shoulder again and spoke, lifting her hand and gesturing me towards the door.

"Anyhow, club started a few minutes ago and you probably don't want the two poor ladies to think that you've died already, so I won't keep you any longer." She said, smiling with a slightly desperate look on her face. I knew that she was trying to help me keep it together, so I chuckled, nodded my head and headed out. As I exited the room, I heard her softly call out to me.

"Oh, and by the way, Hikigaya. Just… Just remember what I told you, alright?"

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow, sensei."

With that, I began the walk towards the club room. With each step I took, it felt like an anvil was being placed upon my shoulders. It was almost unbearable and for a moment I had the urge to just freeze and shut down, but I continued anyways. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I approached the door to the clubroom. I was going to knock, but then I realized that since I was a member, there was no need to knock and my hand slowly found its way to the door handle. As I opened the door, I went into autopilot mode and greeted both Yuigahama and Yukinoshita with the usual.

"Yo."

As soon as I said that, two pairs of wide eyes turned to me and two girls struggling to compose themselves returned my greeting.

"A-ah. Y-yahallo, Hikki."

"Oh… Hikigaya-kun. G-good afternoon."

Heading over to my seat, I decided to take the initiative and tried to salvage the situation by starting the conversation.

"So… I guess that means you heard the news, huh." I spat out without thinking.

 _No, Hachiman! You damned idiot! What the hell are you thinking opening with that?_ I thought to myself, realizing what I had just said.

Yuigahama was the first to respond.

"A-ah, yeah. Hiratsuka-sensei pulled me and Yukinon into her office after lunch and told us that you-" she choked briefly. "You have s-some kind of terminal illness and y-you only have a short amount of time left to live."

Yukinoshita patted her on the shoulder and spoke up.

"Hikigaya-kun, we're here to help you if at all needed. I-I'm terribly sorry to hear about your ailment and if you need to just relax, it's perfectly fine. We understand." Yukinoshita said, evidently putting every ounce of strength she had into maintaining her composure. "A-after all, we are the Service Club and we help our fellow students and club members in their time of need."

I nodded slightly and smiled gently, briefly retreating back to the deep recesses of my mind.

 _Well, I suppose it could've gone worse. But what now?_ I thought to myself. I went over the words that Hiratsuka-sensei spoke to me a few minutes ago and took a deep breath.

 _Right. Don't let all this shit weigh you down. Just be normal._

With that, I opened my eyes and faced the two girls sitting in front of me.

"So, has the club- er… gotten any requests over the weekend?" I asked, trying to change the subject. Yukinoshita was the first to pipe up.

"No, our email inbox was empty. However, the school year is only beginning to shift gears, so it's probably not going to be incredibly busy for a while. Don't worry, though. It's probably best that way for now given that I'm sure you have a lot running through your mind." She said

"Oh, right. Well, don't feel too hesitant to toss a request or two my way. I'll let you know if I'm just not feeling up to the task." I responded, relieved that I managed to at least temporarily quell the somber atmosphere in the air.

"Of course. Although, I'm sure Isshiki-san is bound to run up here begging for you to help her with something soon. In fact, I'm surprised she hasn't been up here yet today." Yukinoshita responded with a half-concerned, half-annoyed voice.

I chuckled slightly and reached into my bag and pulled out a light novel that I had gotten from the bookstore a week back. Removing the bookmark, I began reading. However, today, rather than actually reading, my eyes drifted over the words on the page while my mind went on a completely separate track.

I couldn't help but notice how polite Yukinoshita was being. On any other given day, she would've hurled at least a dozen insults at me by now, but today was obviously a clear exception. In fact, moving forward, I doubted I would hear any more from her.

 _Perks of being a dying man, I guess._

I almost burst out laughing at the thought but managed to suppress it as I noticed a gentle clatter of china and the sound of pouring of warm liquid. Looking over at me, Yukinoshita gestured towards the teapot and teacup in her hands.

"Would you like any tea today, Hikigaya-kun?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure." I replied. She filled my cup and placed it on the table in front of me.

"Thanks."

"Mhm."

Yuigahama then looked up from her phone and cleared her throat.

"S-so, Hikki? How's Komachi-san doing?" she asked, voice still trembling ever so slightly

"She's doing alright. This has… obviously kind of hit her really hard, so she's still getting over the initial shock, but she'll be fine." I answered truthfully

"Oh. W-well, umm… Since we're not really that busy right now, I think we should all do something together at the end of the week. You know, go to the mall or something. You, me, Yukinon, Komachi-san… All of us. Together." She responded. Yukinoshita looked over and nodded her head in agreement.

"Indeed. I would very much enjoy that. We could also go to dinner afterwards and enjoy the night out. It would be refreshing, especially for Hikigaya-kun and Komachi-san." Said Yukinoshita, looking at me and then Yuigahama.

"Yeah! It's a plan, then!" shouted Yuigahama excitedly. I sipped my tea and then spoke up again.

"So, where should we eat out?" I asked curiously

"Well, there is always Saize, but that's a bit plain. There are plenty of small, family owned restaurants right outside of downtown Chiba, so I suppose we could try one of those." Yukinoshita suggested.

Immediately, a glorious thought found its way into my mind: ramen. Ahh, but Yukinoshita hates the stuff. She couldn't stand it when Hiratsuka-sensei took us out to get some in the middle of the night on our class trip a while back, so- wait! That was it! I had my golden ticket!

"Uhh, Yuigahama-san… Could you call Hiratsuka-sensei over to the club room?" I asked.

"Umm, sure. But why, Hikki?" asked Yuigahama

"She can recommend a few good spots outside of downtown Chiba since she goes there all the time herself." I said, hoping that Yukinoshita wouldn't pick up on what I was trying to do. As Yuigahama reached for the phone in the clubroom to call Hiratsuka-sensei's office phone, Yukinoshita gave me a sarcastic smirk and then facepalmed. Well, looks like I wasn't as slick as I thought. Damn.

A couples minutes later, Hiratsuka-sensei walked into the clubroom with a concerned look on her face.

"You needed me for something?" she asked. Immediately, Yuigahama chimed in.

"Ah, yes! You see, the Service Club is going to be going out to dinner on Friday night with Komachi-san, and we wanted to go somewhere right outside downtown, but we couldn't think of anywhere to go. Hikki said that you know a few good spots so we wanted to hear it from you."

Immediately after, Hiratsuka-sensei glanced at me with an all-knowing eye and I winked back in return. Yukinoshita looked at the both of us and smiled, shaking her head as she did so.

"Oh, is that so? Well, you definitely came to the right person! There's this one ramen stall named…"

Hiratsuka-sensei continued to speak about the ramen stall she was recommending for a good five minutes, and as she did so, Yukinoshita kept giving me the same smirk that she was earlier, shaking her head the entire time. As all this was going on, I once again lost myself in thought, this time out of comfort.

 _Well, at least it turned out pretty well. I'd say this day turned out to be a hell of a lot better than I originally thought. Actually, this turned out really well. Everyone is fairly comfortable AND I get to enjoy some ramen this Friday. You know, for being terminally ill, this isn't so bad._ I thought to myself

"…taste of the noodles is actually quite rich if you order them extra fatty and crack an egg open on top. I think you'll like this joint a lot better than the last one we went to, Yukinoshita. Last time was just a random stall in the middle of nowhere for a late night bowl, but this place knows how to cook their noodles. Anyhow, if all four of you are planning on going for ramen after visiting the mall, I can take you. In fact, it'll be my treat." Said Hiratsuka-sensei, finally ending her passionate rant about ramen.

"Yeah! That'd be great! Thank you, Sensei!" said Yuigahama enthusiastically

"Anytime! Alright, well just text me the time you want to go and I'll just drive you over from the mall." Replied Hiratsuka-sensei. "Anyways, I have to prepare some lessons in my office, so I'll be getting back to that. If you need anything else, just let me know."

With that, she discreetly gave me an approving nod and left the room. The rest of the club period was spent drinking tea and having casual banter with Yukinoshita about how she should open up to trying new things (mostly ramen, though). Safe to say, I think things were back to normal.

 **Author's note:**

 **Woah! This fic blew up within the first couple hours it was uploaded! I honestly wasn't expecting as much feedback as I already got. Thanks for the support! This is probably going to be about 10 chapters or so and I'm still on break until February when the semester starts up again for me, so expect daily updates with 1-2 chapters of this length. You know, when I was writing this, I was originally planning on writing a lemon one-shot between the 8man and Yukino, but somehow it turned into this. I honestly have no idea how that happened, but hey. That's how it works! I might throw the lemon in there somewhere if I think it fits, but if it's just weird and out of place, I'll do away with it. Anyways, I'm doing my best to keep everyone in character, but it's kind of hard to do when the 8man is slowly dying. I quit playing League for a while so I could hunker down on this, so hopefully it turns out well. That feel when you were Silver 4 last season, went 6-4 in provisionals and get placed in Bronze 4. It's the feel that only true scrubs like myself will know. Ha! Anyways, I hope you all enjoy the upcoming feels trip! Bronze V Lee Sin out! Hikuu!**


	4. Chapter 3: Seclusion

Chapter 3: Seclusion

 **A/N: Hey, guys! Bronze V Lee Sin here! So far, I've been trying to take this fic at a somewhat slow pace to set up the rest of the story, but things are going to really begin to ramp up soon. I'm still new to creative writing and this is my first piece, so if the pacing seems a bit wonky, I apologize in advance. I've actually had the chance to meet and work with people who have terminal illnesses in the past, so I'm trying to mirror what I know with what I put on here the best that I can. That being said, there will be inaccuracies and certain details and internal monologues will be grossly exaggerated. Still, this is a subject that is somewhat near and dear to me, which is why I decided to write a fic about it. In response to leeckl, I might consider doing that as a bonus chapter after the end if I have time. That actually sounds like an interesting idea. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this chapter and look forward to the rest of the story!**

Peering at the scenery in front of me, I all but ignored the fact that I was standing amidst a crowd of hundreds of busy, enthusiastic mall-shoppers. To my left were Yuigahama and Komachi and to my right were Yukinoshita and Hiratsuka-sensei. Oh, right. Hiratsuka-sensei decided to hang out with us at the mall. Nobody in our group had a problem with it, so we just decided to hang together, visiting different clothing shops and trying on different outfits as we did.

Now, I'll be honest. I was never one for shopping at the mall for clothes. In fact, the last time I did this with the Service Club, I was absolutely miserable and wanted to just rush home the entire time. The whole thing was a disaster in my mind. However, this time, things didn't feel quite as bad. Maybe it was the fact that I wasn't being forced to try on as many different shirt and jean combinations as humanly possible, but for some reason I felt relaxed. The atmosphere that we had in club on Monday seemed to have carried over the entire week and into this excursion to the mall. Even Komachi seemed to be back to her usual self, laughing and joking around with Yuigahama and Hiratsuka-sensei. As I pulled out my phone to check the time, Hiratsuka-sensei spoke up.

"So, you kids ready for some ramen?" she asked with an excited tone in her voice

Everyone except for Yukinoshita responded with an equally excited response and we headed towards the mall parking lot, where Hiratsuka-sensei parked her car. Hiratsuka-sensei got in the driver's seat and I sat shotgun, leaving the other three to squeeze in the back. Thank God. Fitting in the back of Hiratsuka-sensei's Aston Martin was a nightmare, even if the thing was a luxury car advertised to have a large cabin interior with extra leg room. As she started up the engine and pulled out of the parking spot, I slouched in my seat and began to drift off in what was a much-needed nap.

"Oi, wake up. We're here!" I heard Hiratsuka-sensei say off in the distance.

"Oi! Hikigaya!" she shouted, now much nearer and clearer

"O-oh." I muttered clumsily, taking off my seat belt and stepping out of the car.

"Not much rest this week?" Hiratsuka-sensei asked

"Nah, I'm a little drained from all that walking around we did back at the mall. Plus I haven't had any coffee since this morning." I replied

"Oh, okay. Well, I hope you're hungry. This place has all-you-can eat!" she replied

Immediately, my eyes opened up and my spirits soared.

"All-you-can-eat?!" I asked, shocked at what she just told me.

"Yeah! I told you about it on Monday in club, remember?" she asked, her brow raised this time.

"Oh? I must've been spacing out or something…"

"Pssh… Of course. That's just like you, Hikigaya." Hiratsuka-sensei said, ruffling my hair as she did so. Her comment and her gesture caused the rest of the group to roar in laughter and I quickly found myself giving everyone the same look Yukinoshita gave me in club on Monday. This only furthered everyone's reaction and even Hiratsuka-sensei let out a hearty chuckle. We continued to walk up to the ramen stall and were immediately seated. It was only us, which was strange considering that it was a Friday evening and hence peak hours for this place. Regardless, this stall was several times larger than any other stall I'd been to, so even if it was packed, there would be enough seats for all of us and then some. In fact, this place was almost big enough to qualify itself as a full-fledged restaurant given its size. Nevertheless, we all ordered our ramen and our evening feast began. A few minutes in, Hiratsuka-sensei spoke up.

"So, how is it?" she asked us curiously. Everyone gave nods of approval as they finished their first bowls. Even Yukinoshita seemed surprisingly happy with the place, giving Hiratsuka-sensei a look that basically said "not bad".

"Well, order as much as you want! It's all-you-can-eat, remember!"

Komachi spoke up after placing her bowl to the side of the table.

"So, what's everyone up to? Busy?" she asked, trying to start a conversation. Yuigahama was the first to respond.

"Oh, well… Nothing much. The Club has been pretty relaxed, y'know? Although I went to the bookstore the other day to get one of those college entrance exam prep books. It's scary. I looked through it and everything looks so hard! I'll probably start doing that soon."

With that, Yukinoshita spoke up.

"Indeed. I also visited the bookstore recently to purchase a few prep books of my own. I agree that it is wise to get an early start while we can. With the rest of the year coming up, the exams are sure to creep up on us rather quickly if we don't take initiative. By the way, Yuigahama, let me know if you need any help studying. I'd be glad to join you."

"Oh? Thanks, Yukinon!" replied Yuigahama heartily.

Right then and there, I felt a little queasy. I don't know what it was, but something about the brief exchange that took place made me feel extremely anxious. No, I know what it was. They were talking about college prep exams, something I wouldn't be taking for obvious reasons. They meant no harm in it and probably didn't even realize the implication of what they were talking about, but for some reason, I immediately lost my appetite. As my second bowl was placed in front of me, I noticed that everyone was now staring at me with concerned expressions on their faces. Yuigahama stood up and spoke rather nervously.

"I-I'm sorry, Hikki! I didn't mean to-"

"No. It's fine. Go ahead. I don't mind at all." I lied, trying to ease the situation. Yuigahama sat back down and looked at the ground dejectedly while the others kept their gazes focused on me. Hiratsuka-sensei patted me on the back and spoke up.

"You sure you're alright, Hikigaya?" she asked with an all too familiar concerned look on her face

"Yeah, it's fine. I'm fine. Like I said, I don't mind at all. Don't feel uncomfortable talking about those sorts of things around me. I'm good." I replied calmly. I smiled lightly and turned to my second bowl of ramen, using the chopsticks to play with the noodles.

Whatever I had just done must've worked because everyone else all of a sudden looked relieved and began conversing again. Whenever I was asked a question, I would smile and half-heartedly respond. Over the course of the next half an hour or so I even consumed a couple more bowls of ramen, extra fatty as I requested. From the outside, it seemed like everything was fine and had gone back to normal. However, I was actually beginning to become more anxious by the minute. I wiped my palms on the napkin next to me to hide the sweat that was beginning to deposit there. I was terrified that someone would find out that I wasn't okay like I had previously told them.

Despite the fact that I was actively conversing with everyone and even chuckling at times, I was mentally gone. I had just gone against everything that I had sworn to do for myself in the past. I wanted something genuine, but how could I show that I was about to break down? I couldn't. There was just no way that I was going to let that happen. But was I doing this to appease the others? No. I was doing it to keep myself from further spiraling into anxiety and eventually depression. This was a selfish act, and I had no other choice. Still, part of me just wanted to cry out and show how I was actually feeling. Hence, I withdrew and only half-engaged in my interactions. I was scared, but I didn't want to admit it. Not to Hiratsuka-sensei. Not to my clubmates. Not to Komachi. Not even to myself. Once again, I began to lose myself in thought.

 _Is this what they call a relapse? I was doing so well, too. Damnit… Was I even looking for something genuine in the first place? Or was that just a convenient term for appealing to my personal comfort? Am I still even being true to myself? Are the others going to notice? I hope they don't catch on. What'll happen if everyone figures out that I'm just putting up an act right now? Will they understand? Will they think less of me? Will they patronize me? Will they- ugh! Stop, Hachiman! Think logically for just one damned sec-_

I sighed. It was no use. Despite the fact that I was holding up rather well on the outside, I was burning in hell on the inside. There was no denying it now. Before I knew it, the evening was turning towards the later hours and the stack of bowls in front of us was now piled fairly high. Hiratsuka-sensei pulled a 5000 yen note out of her bag and handed it to the owner of the stall, ushering us back to her vehicle. I don't even remember how much I ate or if I did. At this point, I was on autopilot and everything seemed sort of like a blur. All it took was one small, harmless exchange of words and I had been turned into a nervous wreck. Soon enough, I was falling asleep in bed and all my worries were fading into darkness.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

I opened my eyes and shut off my alarm. It was currently 7 in the morning on Saturday and I had forgotten to disable my alarm.

 _Well, since I'm up, I might as well make myself some breakfast and watch TV._ I thought to myself

As I opened fridge to check to see if there were any leftovers, I heard Komachi come out of the hallway into the kitchen.

"Onii-chan? What are you doing up this early?" she asked inquisitively

"Oh, good morning. I was just getting some breakfast. By the way, there aren't any leftovers in the fridge. What did we have for dinner last night?" I asked groggily. For some reason, I couldn't exactly put my finger on what I did yesterday after school until I went to sleep and that included what I ate for dinner. Maybe it was just the early weekend morning atmosphere…

"Ehh?! We went out to the mall with Hiratsuka-sensei and your club and we ate ramen. It was all-you-can-eat, remember?" she asked, confused at how I could forget

I furrowed my brow trying to think back. I tried as hard as I could, but for some reasons, my mind was pulling blanks. Weird. Suddenly, a timid voice whispered in front of me.

"Onii-chan, you're scaring me…" I heard Komachi whisper with a terrified look on her face.

Immediately, the entire afternoon and evening flashed back into my mind like a video cassette being put in fast forward. Oh, that's right. We went to the mall, ate at that ramen stall and THAT happened. But why did it take me so long to remember? I mean, it was just last night and there's no way I'd forget about it considering what went down, so why?

I patted Komachi on the head, telling her not to worry.

"It's fine. I remember now. Don't mind me. I just woke up way too early. I'll just eat a bowl of rice puffs and go back to sleep."

I had a visit scheduled to the oncology center for later in the afternoon, so maybe the really smart lady who was talking to my mom a week ago could provide some information as to what was going on with me. Thankfully, any discussion we had would be kept confidential unless it concerned scheduling of future appointments, so I didn't have to worry Komachi. I didn't want to. Even if it meant keeping her in the dark, I never wanted to see her the way she was when she heard the initial news. Ever. Again.

With that, I poured myself a bowl and rice puffs and began to ask Komachi about school. Everything returned to being fine once again, but I had a feeling it wouldn't stay that way. Even though I was surrounded by a great group of people who genuinely cared about and for me, I was alone. I was in seclusion.


	5. Chapter 4: Something's Gotta Give

Chapter 4: Something's Gotta Give

Once again I found myself sitting in the oncology center, this time alone. My parents had already taken care of the necessary expenses and I wanted to talk to the lead oncologist alone, so I had Komachi stay at home. I reached into my pocket and opened another note my mother had written me, this time concerning what today's appointment would be about.

 _Hachiman,_

 _Today you're going to be briefed on your treatment plan. The doctors are going to go over the pre and post operational instructions for your operation coming up in a couple weeks, so it's really important that you listen to what they tell you. There might be a couple instructions that aren't on the little pamphlet that they give you, so be aware of that as well._

 _Love,_

 _Kaa-san_

Folding the note back up and putting it back into my pocket, I wondered to myself.

 _Operation? I don't remember hearing anything about that, though I was really spaced out during the last visit._

It was actually kind of funny that my mom kept writing me these little notes. I know that she wasn't able to talk to me in person often due to her incredibly loaded work schedule, but sometimes the notes felt that they lacked personality. Then again, she was always busy and she probably wrote these last minute, so there was that as well. If I heard correctly, she and dad were working their hardest to shift their schedules so that they could spend more time with me in the near future. I couldn't imagine how I'd fare in the Japanese corporate environment, but then again given certain circumstances, I wouldn't have to. I chuckled at the thought.

 _Again with the mortal humor. Heh._

As I looked up, a nurse with a clipboard walked into the waiting room and called my name.

"Hikigaya Hachiman?"

I got up from my seat and walked over to her.

"Right this way, please." She said, directing me towards the same room I was in a week ago.

As I walked in, the nurse shut the door behind me and I stood facing the lead oncologist, who was sitting in her office chair.

"Hello, Hikigaya-san. Please take a seat."

I promptly sat down in the adjacent office chair and folded my hands on my lap.

"So, Hikigaya-san, today I'm going to be briefing you over your treatment plan but before I do, I have a few questions that I'd like to ask you."

"Okay."

"First, have you noticed any differences in your ability to think or remember things in your daily life?"

Bam. She hit the nail on the head already. I looked up at her and replied.

"Yes. I believe I had a brief lapse in memory concerning what I did yesterday afternoon when I woke up. It's like there was a gap in my memory, like a black spot. The thing is, it came back kind of quickly. I can remember now."

"Mmm. Yes, that is fairly common in cases like yours." she replied, reaching behind her and turning on a television screen directly to her left. "This is your MRI. You see this big bubble-looking thing right here?"

"I believe so."

"That's the tumor in your brain. It's class 3, meaning that it can still be removed while leaving most of your brain intact, but here's the big problem. It's pushing up against your frontal lobe right here, which controls a lot of cognitive function, as well as memory and motor skills. That would explain your brief lapse in memory. The good thing is that a vast majority of the tumor can be removed, but due to its irregular shape, it'll be near impossible to get the whole thing out. What this means for you is that you'll have to undergo chemotherapy afterwards to neutralize the rest of the tumor if at all possible. Fortunately, it won't be the type that makes all your hair fall out. You'll be given oral tablets to take on a regular basis after your operation. Ah, but I'm getting ahead of myself here…"

Right, okay. I wasn't a huge science wiz, but I passed enough of first year biology to understand most of what she was telling me. Then again, she was probably putting all this into layman's terms just so I could understand it. She continued.

"The second question- and you can choose to not answer- have you consumed alcohol or used any illicit substances in the past 6 months?"

"No."

"Okay. That settles that. Last question and then we'll get on to the important part. Are there any other complications or symptoms that you've noticed? Blurry vision? Trouble breathing? Fainting? Anything like that?"

"I don't think so."

"Alright. Now, most of what I'm going to tell you is on the pamphlet that we hand you on the way out, but it's important that you hear it from me before you read it, alright?"

"Okay."

For the next few minutes, the lead oncologist went over pre and post operational directions as well as what would happen during the surgery. I was shocked to hear that I would actually be awake during most of the operation. I mean, how does that work? I was mortified of the idea of being awake while a bunch of surgeons literally messed with my brain. I was told that I wouldn't feel any pain, but that there was a possibility that I would undergo weird changes in my senses, including smell. Weird. Before I knew it, I was ushered out the door and handed the informative pamphlet along with a prescription paper for a drug whose English name was so long and hard to pronounce that I doubt even Yukinoshita could say it.

This whole thing was truly something else. I mean, taking a step back, I went from starting my final year of high school to being told that I had 15 months to live and that a bunch of surgeons were going to slice open my skull and play around with my brain while I was awake. However, I wasn't scared. As I know it, unless one spends their entire life thinking about death (which to be honest sounds quite ridiculous), the fear and panic that comes with death doesn't take effect until one is consciously aware of the fact that he is dying. Even then, there are still those weird, happy near-death experiences that I hear about. Ahh, who am I kidding? I was fairly nervous about dying, but that wasn't what was troubling me at the moment. I thought back to last night. Yuigahama and Yukinoshita still had their entire lives ahead of them, but I wasn't even going to get to attend a university. Well, I could if I lived the full 15 months, but I'd still only get to spend a couple months there before giving out. It was a sad thought to imagine that I wasn't going to get to spend much more time with my friends and loved ones. But what was even more troubling than that was the fact that I didn't want anyone else to worry about me lest they feel sad as well. I'll admit it. I was depressed and I didn't want to show it. I was putting up a façade of my own just to mask that fact and it was killing me. Every time I tried to think deeply introspectively to confront the issue, it's like something in my mind just shut off and I was simply unable to. Would I be able to overcome that? Only time would tell.

The next week was rather uneventful. I didn't notice any further lapses in memory and I was able to fulfill whatever club duties were thrown at me, although I usually didn't do anything other than stamp papers or greet people who walked in. I continued to converse with everyone and keep up appearances, but when I did so, I felt removed. Like it wasn't me who was speaking. I could feel the distance building between me and everyone else despite the fact that we were all smiling at each other and talking like usual. I had a hunch that the others could feel it as well. On Friday afternoon, as I said my goodbyes and started heading home, my phone buzzed. I pulled over, stepped off my bike pedal with one foot and opened my phone. It was a message from Yukinoshita.

 _Sender: Yukinoshita_

 _Message: Hikigaya-kun, meet me at my apartment in 45 minutes. It's regarding urgent club matters. I've already spoken to Komachi-san. She has no issue with it._

Strange. If it concerned club matters, wouldn't she have brought it up before we all left and said our goodbyes for the weekend? Forgetfulness was rather uncharacteristic of her, which was why I was surprised to receive this message in the first place. Oh well. Shit happens. Nobody's perfect, I suppose. Just then, I felt my stomach lurch.

 _Wait? What if she knows? What if she's figured out that you're not exactly feeling like yourself and she's planning on confronting you about it? That wouldn't be unreasonable considering how perceptive she is. Wait, no. She said it concerned club matters so that can't be it. If that's the case, then what could it possibly be?_

I got back on my bike and started pedaling towards Yukinoshita's apartment. Before I knew it, I was ringing the buzzer and calling out to her.

"Oi, Yukinoshita. It's me. You said it's urgent?"

A few moments later, I heard her buzz the door open and she responded.

"Yes. Please come in, Hikigaya."

I continued up the elevator until I reached her door and knocked gently. The door creaked open and Yukinoshita gestured for me to enter.

"Come in, Hikigaya. I made us some hot tea and brought out some snacks." She said, closing the door behind me. "Come take a seat on the couch. There's walnuts on the coffee table, but if those don't suit your taste for the moment, I have other snacks in the pantry."

"Oh, okay. Thanks. I think I'm fine with walnuts." I responded, looking around curiously. "Hey, where's Yuigahama-san? This is a club matter, right?"

"She'll be running late. In the meantime, we should get right to it. We can bring her up to speed when she gets here. Hold on, I'm going to get the tea." Yukinoshita responded, heading towards the kitchen

"Oh, okay." I said, waiting for Yukinoshita to return. A few seconds later, she came out with a china set similar to the one in the clubroom and placed a teacup on the table in front of me. She filled my cup and then filled her own, finally resting the teapot on a platter that rested on the table and took a sip from her cup. Seating herself on the other end of the couch, she quickly spoke up.

"Careful, Hikigaya-kun. It's still hot."

"Oh, thanks." I said, taking a small sip. "So what's this urgent club matter you were talking about?"

"Right. Well, considering that you, me and Yuigahama-san are the sole members of the service club, when the school year ends, the Service Club and all its assets will be dissolved by default since there aren't any future members. However, seeing as it's done us all quite a bit, it'd be a shame to see it just up and disappear. Wouldn't you agree?" Yukinoshita said, glancing downward as she finished.

"So you want to recruit new members for next year?" I asked

"I wanted to hear your thoughts." She replied, looking at me inquisitively

"Well… I have to agree with your sentiment there. You know, Komachi is applying to Sobu High. If she makes it in, I'm sure she'd be glad to keep the club going." I suggested. "But don't you think we should wait for Yuigahama-san to get here to discuss this? I mean, I'm sure she'd like to hear our initial reactions to this whole thing."

With that, Yukinoshita quickly turned away and took a sip of tea. I tilted my head as I looked at her confused.

"Or maybe you just wanted to talk about it one on one with each of us and then as a group?" I asked

Yukinoshita continued to face the other way, doing everything in her power not to look in my direction. I didn't say anything to offend her. I was merely offering a legitimate question. So why was she all of a sudden acting so strange? There was something off about all of this. I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was, but there was really something weird about her behavior. She all of a sudden seemed lost for words, like she didn't know how to respond. This was unlike her. What could possibly be causing her to act this way? My mind wandered a little, but for some reason I couldn't remove a single errant thought from my head.

 _No. There's no way. She wouldn't lie. That's completely uncharacteristic of her._ I reassured myself.

Nevertheless, I fired away.

"Yuigahama-san isn't coming, is she?" I asked, shooting blindly in the dark

Yukinoshita slowly turned towards me, her face now completely drained of color. Bullseye.

"You didn't tell her about this club meeting and you probably weren't planning on talking about continuing the Service Club, right?" I continued

"H-hikigaya-kun… I… I don't know what to do." she started.

I tilted my head, lost in confusion once again.

"What do you mean?" I asked, nervousness now becoming more evident in my voice

"D-do you remember the request I made to you back at Destinyland?" she asked in return

"Yeah. You asked me to save you, right? But what does that have to do with anything?" I asked, even more confused now

"I don't know how to go about saying this… And I don't know if you'll even want to look at me again after I do. You'll probably think of me as just another manipulative girl only thinking about herself… And you have every right to." Yukinoshita said, looking down at the floor the entire time. "When Hiratsuka-sensei pulled Yuigahama-san and I aside to tell us that you were slowly dying, we were both devastated. I know I don't show it much, Hikigaya-kun, but I do care about you. A lot. And so does Yuigahama-san. We both agreed to make your last year at Sobu High and probably your last year living the best year you had. We both promised that we'd always be there for you when you needed it and we'd try to make you as happy as possible. Ahh, but that's not it…"

I could feel the nervousness rising amidst the confusion. What Yukinoshita was saying was making no sense. She'd never spoken like this before. I was trying to get a read on what she was going to allude to, but had no clue. Was she just going on randomly or was there some sort of reason behind what she was saying? But more importantly, what did she not want Yuigahama here for? She continued.

"Hikigaya-kun, let me ask you something. And I want you to be completely honest with me here. Are you actually as calm and happy as you're acting?"

Immediately, I froze. My worst fears were realized. So this was what she called me over for. This was her urgent matter. I needed to hold it together, but the other half of me wanted to let everything out and tell her how I felt. I gulped.

"I'm fine. Really." I said, hoping it would be enough.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Yukinoshita looked up at me and began to shake her head. There were tears in her eyes. She began to speak again, this time with a trembling voice. With all the strength she could muster, she took a deep breath and began to speak again.

"H-hikagaya-kun… Every time I leave club, I imagine that I'm going to come back the next day to find that you're gone forever. I've had dreams about it. Nightmares… God, they're horrible… I-it's just that- it's just that when I wake up, I'm forced to accept the fact that it's going to be true one of these days. I'm going to wake up one day and you're not going to be there… I don't want to believe it. I really don't! But we can't always have what we want, right?"

She bit her lip and continued.

"When I first thought about it, I imagined it as losing a close friend, but then I thought harder and realized it was more than that. I wouldn't even feel this sort of pain if Yuigahama-san were to go… Jesus Christ I'm horrible… I can't believe I just said that. But it's true! I've had this feeling for a long time, Hikigaya-kun, but it wasn't until I found out that you were going to leave forever that I realized what it was… I can't believe it took something like this for me to figure it out."

I looked at her, still frozen in place and unable to move or speak. She moved slightly closer and put her cup down on the table.

"Hikigaya-kun… Let me ask you something else."

"…"

"When you made your request to the Club, you said you wanted something genuine, right?"

"…"

"Well, after that little mishap last week when we went out for dinner with the others, you started acting unusually cheery. It just wasn't like yourself, Hikigaya-kun. I didn't want to hurt you, so I went along with it, but I knew something was wrong. I knew you weren't okay like you said you were." She went on. At this point, there were tears streaming down her face and she wore a pleading look. She still continued.

"Y-you've been putting yourself through hell just so w-we would feel better, but you sacrificed yourself in the process. Again."

"…"

"H-hikigaya-kun… W-when are you ever going to learn?" she said, sobbing at this point.

She moved directly towards me and wrapped me in an embrace, burying her head in my blazer. I returned the embrace and looked straight forward, about to break down myself. She lifted her head and began to speak again.

"I want you to t-tell me. Are you happy?"

I took a deep breath and did my best to regain my composure.

"I-I care about you a lot as well. I don't want to see you suffering, eith-"

"Hikigaya-kun. Answer my question. Are you happy?"

"Yukinoshita, I'm trying to make sure you're happy as we-"

"Goddamnit! No! Are YOU happy?!"

With that, I looked down at her and sighed.

"I… I'm… No." I said finally, giving a definitive answer to Yukinoshita's question. She looked at me, eyes dry and red at this point.

"Tell me. Tell me everything. I-I want to hear it, Hikigaya-kun. I can't be happy until I know what's ailing you." she said.

I sighed. Enough goose-stepping. It was time to be honest.

"If you want to know the whole truth, no. I'm not happy. I have sporadic lapses in my memory, the doctors are going to slice my head open in a week, I haven't seen my mother or my father in over 2 weeks, I'm not going to experience life past what I know it as now and my condition is only going to get worse over time, but… Worst of all, I did everything in my power to hide all that and failed."

Yukinoshita smiled at me and buried her face in my chest again. Her tears stained my shirt and through the fabric, I could hear her say her next words.

"Thank you, Hikigaya-kun. You let me fulfill your request. But please… I want you to fulfill mine as well."

"…"

"These nightmares I keep having about waking up to you being dead… I want you to save me from them. Even if it's only a temporary fix! Please, Hikigaya-kun. Save me."

I paused for a second and considered her request. Still confused, I asked another question.

"How?"

"Stay with me tonight."

 **A/N: Damn! That was a long chapter to write, but it was incredibly worth it! Hopefully it wasn't too cheesy. Anyways, this is where things start picking up and the ball really gets moving. I hope you liked it and I hope you're ready for the feels that I'm packing later on! In response to CombatWars, often times the sudden memory loss and other symptoms are reasons for the initial scare that sparks the test that leads to the diagnosis, but not everyone knows that. I kind of assumed that the gradual changes had already taken place before the start of the story, but obviously I wasn't clear enough in my writing since I completely glossed over that fact. For the sake of pacing, it probably would've been better to take it a bit slower and have the changes happen gradually throughout the story, but I goofed. It definitely played out a lot different on paper than it did in my head. Anyways, thanks for pointing that out. I probably wouldn't have noticed it if you didn't. I'll probably make an edit to the prologue so that all this makes more sense. Truthfully, I'm still new to this and I'm trying my best, so hopefully I get better as I go. I'm trying to keep this thing as medically accurate as possible, but the drama is still the main focus. I'm really trying to shoot for an ending that leaves an impact on the reader. Anyhow, there's still a handful of chapters left for development, so we'll see where this all goes. Oh, and if Lose-senpai is in the building, I can't wait for your next chapter of Maturity! All that being said, Bronze V Lee Sin out! Hikuu!**

 **P.S. FanFictionLeon, I screwed the pooch once again as you can see. Komachi is supposed to be 2 years younger than Hachiman, not 3. Hopefully it's not too story-breaking. Worst case scenario we can call this slightly AU, even though that's still pretty bad.**

 **P.S.S. I added an extra paragraph to the prologue to give a little bit of background on what was happening a couple months before the story began. I know it's kind of half-assed, but this far into the story it's the best I could do. Hopefully it's enough.**


	6. Chapter 5: A Rose Blossoms

Chapter 5: A Rose Blossoms

My eyes widened and my heart rate increased. I could practically heard it thudding against my rib cage and I'm sure Yukinoshita could as well. I'm pretty sure this was Yukinoshita's way of confessing to me, but was she in her right mind right now? Was she being true to herself or was she just acting on a whim? It was obvious that this was planned to an extent, but what was the reason for all of this? As my mind continued to race, I looked down and faced Yukinoshita, trying to think about what I should say next. At this point, I wasn't even sure how I felt although I knew I wanted Yukinoshita to be happy. I took a deep breath and sighed.

"Okay. I'll stay." I responded softly

"Thank you, Hikigaya-kun." said Yukinoshita, burying her head into my chest again.

We stayed like this for a few minutes, holding each other while seated on Yukinoshita's couch. Time seemed to stand still and for a moment, I swear all was right with the world. Was this what Buddhists refer to as Nirvana? As we sat there, I notice that I had begun stroking Yukinoshita's hair. I began to lose myself in thought once again.

 _Just who is Yukinoshita to me anyways? Does she really feel this way about me or is she just acting rash? I'm not completely sure about how I feel about this, but is it right to exclude Yuigahama like that? I'm sure she cares as well and I'm sure she knew what I was going through internally as well to an extent. Hell, I'm sure everyone around me did…_

Yukinoshita let go of me and scooted back to where she was before, clearing her throat and straightening her hair. She looked at me again, this time with a more collected demeanor.

"Hikigaya-kun. I've made up my mind. I want you to hear me out and answer me honestly. I'll accept whatever you say, even if you say that you hate me." she said. She looked down and then up at me again, pursing her lips as she did so. I motioned for her to continue.

"Alright." I responded. Yukinoshita paused briefly and then continued.

"I want to help you shoulder your burdens, Hikigaya-kun. Everyone else around you wants to as well. We know we can't help with everything, but we want to be able to where we can. If that means being there for you when you're stressed out or making life a little easier by taking care of a bit of your workload, we want to help you. I'm sure you know that by now and I hope you'll let us. Me, your family, Yuigahama, Hiratsuka-sensei, and everyone else who cares about you. Truly and sincerely."

Yukinoshita cleared her throat. As I nodded gently, she went on.

"However… However, Hikigaya-kun… I want to be something more to you. I want us to be closer than just that. I know it might be too much to ask for and I know it's inconsiderate to everyone else, but I want to be yours and you to be mine. I've waited far too long to say this, but Hikigaya-kun…"

Yukinoshita took a deep breath and then continued.

"I love you."

And I was sold. Despite the fact that I was dying and everything seemed to be happening around me so quickly, I was convinced that Yukinoshita was telling the truth. With each word she spoke, I seemed to be falling for her as well. Strange… Usually it was the guy who wooed the girl and not the other way around, but this seemed to be a kind exception. I didn't have much time left to pursue a relationship and I knew that this would only end in sadness, but… I was willing. I looked Yukinoshita in the eyes and answered.

"I love you too."

With that, Yukinoshita smiled and leaned towards me again, her face much closer this time. She pecked me on the cheek and embraced me once again. Returning the embrace, I asked her a question.

"Yukinoshita, you know what this means, right?"

"Yes, I do." she replied immediately

"When I'm gone, you're going to be alone again and I won't be able to save you from your nightmares. You'll have a vacuum where I used to be. You're okay with that?"

"Yes I am."

"I might wake up one day and not remember who you are. I might go blind, have a seizure, or completely lose control of my body. You might be there when that happens. You're still okay with that?"

"Yes I am."

"Others might not take it well and think that you're with me out of pity. Yuigahama might hate us both for this. You're still okay with that?"

"Yes I am. Hikigaya-kun, I'm ready for whatever may happen."

Once again, Yukinoshita and I locked eyes and smiled at each other. The same calm feeling of timelessness that I was feeling before came back and before I knew it, another few minutes had flown by. Releasing me, Yukinoshita got up from the couch and began to take the tea set back to the kitchen.

"The tea's gotten cold. I'm going to make us some dinner, Hikigaya-kun. Is sautèd halibut okay with you?" she asked

"Yeah, that's fine."

The rest of the afternoon/early evening was comfortable and enjoyable. Yukinoshita made a delicious fish platter with steamed vegetables and rice. As we ate, we talked about upcoming school functions and speculated upon possible requests that we would be receiving in club over the next few weeks. Shortly after, we watched a couple Pan-san movies (well, more like Yukinoshita watched and I nearly fell asleep) and before we knew it, it was almost midnight. Yukinoshita showed me the bathroom and lent me a spare set of toiletries to use before I retired for the night. I brushed my teeth, took my migraine medication, took a shower, changed back into my uniform (since it was all I was wearing to begin with) and sat in the living room on the couch while Yukinoshita did her personal maintenance for the night. I took off my blazer and placed it over my schoolbag. As I was about to fall asleep for the night, I heard a pair of footsteps approaching me. I looked up and saw Yukinoshita, now dressed in her night gown.

"Hikigaya-kun, could you come to my room?" she asked.

Oh, right. She probably wanted me to sleep next to her for the night considering what she'd said earlier.

"Okay."

With that, we both walked through the hallway and into her room. There, I saw a bunch of Pan-san memorabilia, a desk, some drawers, a closet, a night stand, and a queen-sized mattress. Suddenly, Yukinoshita turned off the lights, leaving only the moonlight shining through the side window to illuminate the room. Yukinoshita climbed into bed and motioned for me to do the same. As I pulled the covers over us, she snuggled against my arm and murmured something inaudible. I laid my head back against one of her large, plush Pan-san pillows and wrapped my other arm around her. Tilting her head upwards, Yukinoshita whispered something to me quietly.

"Hey, Hikigaya-kun…"

"Yeah?"

"I want you to call me by my first name."

"Alright, uhh… Yukino-san."

"Thank you, Hachi-kun."

With that, we both went silent and I could hear Yukinoshi- make that Yukino now- purr in her sleep, almost like a cat. As I closed my eyes to go to sleep, I glanced towards the window. Maybe it was just me or maybe it was the way the moonlight shined upon the curtains, but I saw a beautiful, ghostly rose appear in the light. Drifting off, I swear I could see it blossom.

 **A/N: Hey, guys! Bronze V Lee Sin here! I'm not sure how you guys are going to feel about this chapter, but if you felt it was too lovey-dovey and gushy, I apologize. I was actually debating putting a lemon scene here, but I decided against it since I wasn't quite sure how to fit it in without ruining the atmosphere I've already created. Also, I felt that if I put one in this early, it would be distracting from the main plot, which obviously has to do with our beloved 8man coping with his terminal illness. I know I went a little overboard with the last line of the chapter and the chapter's title, so please forgive me there. I know the chapter was short and didn't really accomplish a whole lot, but the main purpose of me putting it in was to unmistakably establish the pairing before going on. Hopefully it didn't give off the impression of a soft love story going absolutely nowhere. That's absolutely not what this fic is about and moving forward, it will carry a much more serious tone (although it will have its highs and lows). Speaking of moving forward, the title of the next chapter will be "Moving Forward". As always, I appreciate the support and welcome your feedback. It helps me become a better writer. That being said, Bronze V Lee Sin out! Hikuu!**


	7. Chapter 6: Moving Forward

Chapter 6: Moving Forward

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

As my phone's alarm went off, I opened my eyes.

 _Mondays…_ I thought to myself, still waking up.

Lazily reaching for my phone, I knocked it off my nightstand and onto the floor. I got up, bent over, and scooped it off the floor, turning off the alarm. As I did so, I noticed that I had a new message from Yukino.

 _Sender: Yukinoshita_

 _Message: How are we going to come out to Yuigahama? I don't want us to make things unnecessarily awkward for her._

Oh, right. I fell asleep last night while texting Yukino and never replied to her last message. Plus, I still had to switch her contact name over to her first name. Keeping that in mind, I realized that I had to take my migraine medication, which I was going to have to discontinue during my chemotherapy treatment. I quickly walked over to the bathroom, poured myself a glass of water from the faucet, and reached in the medicine cabinet. I unscrewed the pill bottle, took one out, screwed it back up and placed it back in the cabinet, closing that as well. Taking my medication and swigging some water in my mouth, I lost myself in thought like I always do.

 _This sure is going to be one interesting day… I wonder if I made the right choice with Yukinoshita. Everything happened so fast and we were caught up in the moment. She really cares about me, but then again there's no denying the fact that she played dirty with Yuigahama. On top of that, she's asking me what to do even though she made the initial leap… That girl… I'm going to have to have a few words with her, stealing my heart like that._

Clearing my throat after downing the rest of the glass of water, I sighed. Despite the sketchy circumstances surrounding all that had taken place Friday evening, the truth was that I had made a commitment to Yukino, and I wasn't going to back out now. There was nothing wrong with it. It's not like Yukino was doing this out of spite to Yuigahama or anyone else. She was merely acting on her own accord, something that she had always wanted to do. She knew that what she wanted would slip through her fingers if she didn't act and so she acted. Plus, I still cared about her deeply and carried some feelings for her as well, even if a lot of it stemmed from a hormonal, spur-of-the-moment incident. Regardless, this didn't change the fact that bringing all this up to Yuigahama would be difficult. Immediately, I was brought back to some words that Hiratsuka-sensei had left me back on the bridge some time ago: think, writhe, agonize, and struggle. Heh. Maybe this is what she meant.

I returned to my room and picked up my phone. I began to hammer out a message and then pressed the send button. It read simply:

 _We'll find a way._

After sending out the message, I walked out to the kitchen to find that there were two plates sitting on the counter, both filled with eggs, bacon, and rice. Suddenly, a small figure leaped out at me from behind the refrigerator.

"Boo! Gotcha, onii-chan!" shouted Komachi, now standing in front of me.

"Yeah, no. You still need to work on your surprise attacks." I said jokingly, patting her head.

"Ahh, no fun! Anyways, I made us both breakfast and I even waited for you to come out of your room. Ooh, I bet that scored a lot of points!" said Komachi, picking up the two plates and taking them over to the dining table. As we ate breakfast, she spoke up with a suspiciously gleeful tone in her voice.

"Soo, onii-chan. Yukino-chan told me that you were going to be at her apartment on Friday and you didn't get back until afternoon the next day… Tell me, am I going to be an auntie?"

"No, no. Nothing like that." I replied, my face starting to flush

"Oh, but I'm sure you two love birds did something together, am I right?" Komachi questioned with the same gleeful tone

"Well, I guess you could say we're dating now." I spat out, with one brow slightly raised. I mean, it was the truth. No need to fret it in front of Komachi. She'd probably be delighted to hear. And delighted she was.

"Oh, really?! I knew you could do it, onii-chan! So, how did you confess?"

"Umm… She was actually the one who confessed to me." I replied, brow still raised.

"Ehh?! Wow, onii-chan! So suave that the ladies come crawling to confess to you! I bet that earned even more points!" Komachi exclaimed

I sighed. Patting Komachi's head, I continued to eat breakfast. I'm glad she was completely back to her usual self. She hadn't been this cheery (or cheeky) since before the initial oncology center visit. After finishing her plate, Komachi asked another question.

"So, what did you two do together at Yukino-chan's place? Obviously something happened since you two are in loooove now. Heeheeheehee!" Komachi inquired, giggling as she did so.

"It's a long story." I replied

"I wanna hear it!"

"Maybe later."

"Awww… Fine. Do tell me though, onii-chan…" Komachi said, pretending to pout. I patted her on the head once more, and went back to my room to change into my school uniform.

From there, the morning proceeded like usual, and before I knew it, I found myself chaining my bike to the bike rack and walking up the steps to my classroom. Yukino and I were in different classes, so we wouldn't see each other until lunch and then again at club. Oh, right. Yukino. I pulled out my phone and checked for new messages. Yukino had responded, saying "Okay. I trust you." Crap. I was bound to run into Yuigahama in first period since she was in my homeroom. I wasn't going to tell her then and there, but I didn't want to go into first period completely clueless of what to say to her.

 _What does one do? What does one do…_ I thought to myself

As I was about to put my phone away, an idea popped into my head.

 _Bingo! That's it!_

I checked the time and saw that there were 25 minutes until class started. Keeping this in mind, I walked towards Hiratsuka-sensei's office.

"Looks like you've found yourself in quite the pickle, Hikigaya." said Hiratsuka-sensei, scratching her head.

"Yeah, tell me about it…" I returned, slouching in the office chair I was sitting in.

"You know, we talked about a similar issue you were having a while back. Do you recall what I told you?" she asked, encouraging me to remember and answer.

"Yeah, I remember. Think, writhe, agonize, and struggle. Those were your exact words. I know what you meant by that, but don't you think that things have, uhh… changed? Since then I mean."

Hiratsuka-sensei was quick to reply.

"Well, yes. Things have changed since then. Obviously you've found yourself in a pool of different circumstances, but the fact that we're all humans who make mistakes and have emotions is still the same."

"I don't follow?"

"What I mean is, you obviously care deeply about Yuigahama despite pursuing a relationship with Yukinoshita. On top of this, Yukinoshita also cares deeply about Yuigahama. If Yuigahama carries feelings for you, there is the risk that she'll distance herself from you two to avoid the pain involved with being denied her unrequited love. There's also the fact that you have your condition, which only complicates the whole situation further. If she pushes herself away and you and Yukinoshita try to help her, there's also the risk that she'll lash out at you both because she feels cornered. Even worse, there's the risk that she might outright force herself to endure the pain of being denied in an attempt to appease everyone. These are risks that I know you've probably considered and risks that you will be taking. But, if you're truly committed to being with Yukinoshita, they're risks that are worth taking. You can't make everyone happy, Hikigaya. I know if it were possible, you would, but you can't please everyone. What happens will happen. But, it's these happenings that make us who we are. It builds character. At the end of the day, we're all just learning."

With that, Hiratsuka-sensei took a long breath and looked back at me. For a moment, we sat there in silence as I pondered what she just told me. Finally, I responded.

"So what course of action should I take?"

"Think about it and do what you feel is right." Hiratsuka-sensei replied. "Logically, you're in a catch-22 where you run the risk of hurting someone you deeply care about regardless of what action you take. There is no purely logical course of action here. However, if you consider what you want and act upon that, consequences be damned, you'll be doing the right thing and you'll be able to continue without regret."

I thought about that last part. If I thought about it and did what I felt was right, I'd be doing the right thing. Hearing that, although robbing me of efficacy, was cathartic.

 _I've come this far. I value what I have with the Service Club, but preserving the old status quo is no longer an option. I made a promise to Yukinoshita, but I don't want Yuigahama to suffer either. Think, Hachiman. What do you genuinely want?_

With that, a feeling of peace washed over me and I looked up towards Hiratsuka-sensei. I nodded my head and spoke.

"I think I know what I'm going to do now. Thank you, sensei." I said.

Hiratsuka-sensei nodded gently and I took my leave. I knew exactly what I was going to do.

Walking into first period, I sat down in my usual spot and was immediately greeted by Totsuka, who gave me his signature angelic smile. Returning the smile, I noticed Yuigahama out of the corner of my eye. She walked up to my desk and gave her usual greeting.

"Yahallo, Hikki!"

"Oh, Yuigahama-san. Good morning." I replied nonchalantly

"Is everything okay, Hikki? You seem out of it today." Yuigahama said with a puzzled look on her face.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking about some things. By the way, there's something we need to talk about today in club."

"Oh? Is it a request?"

"No, but it has to do with the club. It's important. We'll talk about it there."

"Oh, okay." said Yuigahama, her puzzled expression slightly fading away.

I was setting everything in order. All I had to do next was talk to Yukino and discuss a few things with her at lunch and we would be ready to move forward. I sent her a text telling me to meet me on the rooftop at lunch and closed my phone.

"So, Hachi-kun… Did anything happen?" Yukino asked with a concerned look on her face.

"Nothing out of the ordinary. I told Yuigahama that we have something to talk about in club. I also asked Hiratsuka-sensei for a little advice and she told me to do what felt right. I think telling Yuigahama and going from there is the right thing to do. It's the honest thing to do. But, I need to talk to you about a couple things first." I said. Yukino tilted her head.

"Sure. Like what?" she asked.

I took a deep breath and sighed.

"Don't take this the wrong way. I want to be with you and I'm not breaking the promise that I made to you last Friday night, but I need you to know that what you did was playing dirty. That's the main reason our relationship is going to be so hard to bring up to Yuigahama in the first place. I know that's not a very comforting thought to hear, but it's true. Keeping that in mind, are you ready to accept Yuigahama's reaction, regardless of what it might be?"

Yukino looked down and then back up at me again. She nodded her head and spoke.

"I am. I knew that I'd be putting our friendship on the line if I went after you, but I was willing to take that risk. I know that things will never be the same after this, but I hope we can all still enjoy ourselves as much as we used to. But, Hachi-kun. If worst comes to worst and Yuigahama hates both of us, it'll be my fault. If that happens, would you still love me?"

"Yes. And it'll be our burden to carry if that does happen."

"How are we going to tell her?"

"Simple. We come out with it. No beating around the bush or ignoring the issue. We sit her down and tell her the truth. We'll let her know that we're still there for her and that she'll have our support and understanding regardless of how she decides to respond. It's the best we can do."

Yukino simply nodded in reply. We stood there on the roof in silence for a few moments. Despite all the talking we'd done over the past weekend, it wasn't until now that I was certain that we were one hundred percent on the same page. I smiled and looked into the sky. Turning back towards Yukino, I spoke up once again.

"I'm ready if you are."

Yukino nodded again and we both headed back down the stairs to eat our lunches. It was soon going to be time.

After the final bell rang, I packed my bags and headed straight for the clubroom. Walking down the hall, I felt almost weightless in stark contrast to how I'd felt a week and a half ago. Yukino and I were on the same page and I was willing to accept what was to come next, regardless of what happened. As I approached the door to the Service Club, I took a deep breath and slid it open.

"Yahallo, Hikki!" exclaimed Yuigahama, cheerful as usual. Yukino merely nodded and got up from her seat to prepare some tea. I replied with my usual greeting and was about to say something else when Yuigahama asked a question.

"You said you had something important to talk about in club today, right?"

Yuigahama's expression changed to the same puzzled look that she was giving me earlier and I nodded.

"Yes I did."

I looked at Yukino, who subtly motioned for me to continue and I looked back at Yuigahama.

"Yuigahama. There's something that you need to know. You specifically." I said. Yuigahama tilted her head suspiciously.

"Oh?"

"But before I do, I just want you to know… It's okay to be honest and let out how you feel about it. Don't feel like you have to hold back." I said. I took a deep breath and then continued.

"Yukinoshita and I are in a relationship."

Yuigahama sat for a short while without making any sort of reaction or response. After a few moments, she smiled and looked towards me, in Yukino's direction, and then back at me. She let out a small chuckle and spoke in a tone that was unusually cheerful, even for Yuigahama herself.

"Congratulations, Hikki! Yukinon! I'm glad you two are happy together…"

Quickly, she trailed off and she looked down at the floor. Her cheerful smile soon devolved into a sad one and as she looked up, I could notice small tears forming at the corners of her eyes. Immediately, I felt pangs of guilt sweep over me and as I looked over at Yukino, I noticed that she wore a pensive look on her face. Keeping Hiratsuka-sensei's advice in mind, I looked back at Yuigahama and hesitantly continued.

"It happened over the weekend. We... Things happened, we talked and we knew it would be wrong to hide from you. I'm sorry."

Yuigahama shook her head slowly and spoke up again, her voice beginning to waver.

"Don't apologize, Hikki. What's there to apologize for? I…"

She trailed off again, steadily losing her composure. As I looked at Yukino, Yuigahama stared at the floor, whispering something quietly to herself, although I could hear her perfectly.

"I guess we just weren't meant to be…"

Yuigahama looked back up at me again and asked a question.

"This is what makes Hikki happy, right?"

I slowly nodded my head, smiling softly at Yuigahama in an attempt to coax her. Tears were evidently streaming down her face, but she still smiled. She was clearly in pain, but was doing all that she could to control herself.

"T-then I'm ha-"

Yuigahama fell to her knees and cried. Yukino got up to come and comfort her, but I waved her off. Not yet. Standing up, Yuigahama slowly walked towards me. Mere inches away from me now, she looked directly into my eyes and spoke up again.

"Hikki... Whatever happens, you stick with Yukinon, you hear me?"

I nodded. Suddenly, Yuigahama pulled me into an embrace. She rested her head on my shoulder and spoke up again, this time in a more calm, collected manner.

"I know I'll never take Yukinon's place, but please, Hikki… Let me stay like this for a little bit."

I looked over to Yukino, who nodded encouragingly. We stood there in silence for a few minutes. As we did, I thought to myself.

I thought back to first year, when Yuigahama and I walked around at the Fireworks Festival together. I'm almost certain she was about to confess right then and there, but I'd stopped her. Maybe it was due to a misunderstanding. Maybe it was due to the fact that I simply wasn't fit for a relationship of any sort at that point. Either way, it was all in the past now, and whatever might've happened differently had I not told her to answer her phone that night was unwise to dwell upon. The truth was, I didn't hold the same feelings for her that I did for Yukino even though I cared for her immensely.

 _I'm sorry, Yuigahama… I know this isn't fair to you. This isn't the first time I've denied you, but I know that this is the right thing to do. I hope you understand…_

Yuigahama let go and walked over to Yukino. She pulled Yukino into a similar embrace and whispered something into her ear. Pulling her head back, Yukino smiled sadly and nodded. Yuigahama headed over to her seat and grabbed her bag. Wiping her eyes, she picked it up and slowly left the clubroom, waving and smiling at us as she did. I turned towards Yukino and began to speak.

"Yukino. What did Yuigahama say to you?" I asked

"She told me to take good care of you until the very end."

With that, I nodded. Yukino and I both knew what that meant. For a while, we just sat there looking at each other. What we'd just done wasn't easy by any means, but it was something that had to be done. Hiratsuka-sensei's last words to me this morning began to ring true. We were all just learning. Finally, Yukino broke the silence.

"So, Hachi-kun. Did we do the right thing?"

"Yes. Whatever happens from here on out, we'll all keep moving forward. You, me, and Yuigahama."

 **A/N: Hey, guys! Bronze V Lee Sin here! Thanks for all the support and all the feedback up to this point. I wouldn't have imagined this story blowing up as much as it did in the first few days, but it seems to have gotten a lot of attention. I read each and every single review, so to those who point things out and give criticism and make suggestions, thank you! It's kind of hard to hold a story like this together without slipping up here and there. In response to Knightro, I was actually trying to give off the impression that Hachiman was feeling doubtful about Yukino's recourse (and later feelings) at first. It probably should've been a bit more drastic, but nevertheless things didn't pan out as I thought they would. If we wanted to, we could attribute Hachiman's sudden change of heart to the fact that he doesn't have much time left to live (a sudden realization of mortality can easily lead to unforeseen changes in character, behavior, etc). That is a completely legitimate explanation and would make sense given how suddenly everything was happening around him, but at the same time it'd probably be a pretty piss poor excuse on my part. Also, regarding Yukino's confession, I can see where you're coming from and it probably would seem that she was speaking out of pity based on first glance. However, that wasn't what I was going for and it's not something I intend to make a point of. Anyways, I hope it wasn't too bad. Now that I think of it, I probably shouldn't have tried to tackle a behemoth like terminal illness in my first fic, but I'm going through with this one nonetheless. Going into it, I knew that in trying to accomplish as much as I am, I'd be bound to run into some bizarre, OOC behaviors here and there. I can only hope that the ending is as good as I'm imagining it to be. Now that a lot of the tedious work has been done and most of the social drama has taken place, the story is going to shift its focus towards Hachiman's terminal illness and the rest of the fic will be a lot more medically focused. Also, expect a lot more introspection and questioning of beliefs on Hachiman's part. All that being said, Bronze V Lee Sin out! Hikuu!**


	8. Chapter 7: Epiphany

Chapter 7: Epiphany

As I looked up at the clock to check the time, I let out a hearty yawn. It was currently 4 o'clock on a Tuesday afternoon and in an hour, it would be time to close up club and head home. Yukino was reading a book and I was about ready to take a nap. It had been a few hours since I'd put any caffeine into my system and the sun was beginning to shine in my eyes. Briefly flinching, I shielded my eyes and leaned back in my chair. Today was rather peaceful and easygoing, but felt disturbingly silent and lonely. Although Yuigahama still greeted me at the beginning of classes and sat with me and Yukino at lunchtime, she headed straight home to study after school was over. There wasn't any questioning on my part or Yukino's part. We both knew that she was quite broken up by our announcement and that giving her some space was the best thing for us to do. Still, Yuigahama brought a certain energy to the club that Yukino and I lacked and her absence was impossible to ignore.

Thinking about the past few days, I remembered in that emotional evening at Yukino's apartment that I'd told her about my upcoming operation. However, I'm pretty sure that it slipped over her head with everything that had happened that night. I was going to have to remind her. On that note, I hadn't told Yuigahama either when I saw her this morning or yesterday. I wasn't really concerned too much about the operation. Of course, the notion of being awake while surgeons tinkered with my brain was pretty terrifying, but I was too preoccupied with a plethora of other things to dwell upon it. Besides, if I recalled what the oncologist had told me correctly, I'd be expected to make a full recovery within a week although they'd have to cut off a portion of my hair to be able to perform the surgery. If anything, I was more disappointed in that than anything else. Still, forgetting to tell Yukino and Yuigahama was pretty irresponsible considering that this was the sort of information they'd really want to know. Not only that, but there was also the issue of missing a week of school and coming back to having people around me ask why I looked like I'd just come back from a rogue barber. I suppose I could ask Hiratsuka-sensei to inform my homeroom class about the matter while I was away from school, but either way I was going to have to let Yukino and Yuigahama know as soon as I could. I sighed.

 _Well, looks like you goofed on this one. Your nap is going to have to wait._ I thought to myself, shaking my head as I did. Yukino noticed and put her book down, facing me as she did.

"Is something wrong, Hachi-kun?" she asked, a hint of worry in her voice.

Whelp. Looks like it was time to come out with it. No point in holding back now. I took a deep breath and began.

"Hey, Yukino." I started

"Yes?"

"You know how when we were talking the other night at your place, I mentioned that a bunch of doctors were going to slice m- err- operate on me?" I asked, quickly opting for a less dramatic phrase.

Yukino nodded slowly.

"Well… That's going to be this Saturday." I stated. Yukino's eyes widened and she gulped audibly. I quickly continued.

"Ahh, but don't worry too much. The recovery time is like a week and I'll only need to stay at the hospital for a few days. Plus, while I'm there, I can have visitors at pretty much anytime."

Yukino stared at me, her face full of concern.

"Hachi-kun, are you going to be okay?" she asked, looking me up and down

"Yeah, I should be. I don't see any reason why not." I answered.

"Are you sure?"

"Mhm. My oncologist told me that this sort of surgery is almost always the first step in any treatment plan. The doctors doing it perform similar operations all the time. I'll be fine."

"Alright, Hachi-kun." Responded Yukino, a nervous smile forming on her face. I knew she was still really worried despite her response, so I decided to throw in some humor to lighten the mood.

"Here's the thing that sucks, though. They're going to have to cut off a bunch of my hair to perform the operation. They're not even going to shave it all off. It's probably going to look all lopsided when it's done." I said, imitating a pair of scissors with my right hand and making a funny face.

With that, Yukino looked down and giggled a little.

"Hiki-bald-kun." she said, her smile widening ever so slightly. I shook my head and returned the smile.

Considering all that had taken place recently and how suddenly it had all happened, I was unsure of what to feel. Over the course of the past two weeks, I'd experienced numbness, anxiety, sorrow, worry, love, and even curiosity. Now that I think of it, I was probably still numb to an extent. I was consciously aware of my current predicament, but whenever I'd try to think about it on a personal level, I blanked out. I had more or less settled a majority of my issues regarding my condition with the club, but there was a problem that I had yet to work out. Thinking back to the ramen dinner a while back and that night I'd spent with Yukino, I remembered all the anxieties and fears that plagued me. Most of these were all but gone now that I'd had a few days to settle down and talk things out. Life at home had drastically improved and hearing that my parents were planning on spending more time with me was great news as well. However, something still felt a bit off and I couldn't quite tell what it was. It was like a blind spot in my mind, slipping away before I could get a hold on it. Curious, but frustrating. Quickly, I drew my mind back to my surroundings and scratched my head.

Although I had managed to quell a small portion of Yukino's worrying, I could tell that there was still tension in the air. She still wore a nervous expression, squinting slightly, and her features scrunched despite the fact that she was smiling. I knew that allowing her to contemplate things for too long would only worsen her anxiety, so I decided to take a different approach.

"Hey, Yukino." I started.

"Yes?" she asked, easing up a little.

"There's still some time left in club and almost everyone at school has gone home. I could use some fresh air, so do you wanna take a quick stroll around campus with me?"

Yukino briefly gave me a confused look and then nodded.

"Sure, Hachi-kun."

With that, we both got up from our seats and walked out of the clubroom, closing the door behind us as we did. As I stepped out of the clubroom and into the hallway, I yawned and stretched my hands into the air, folding them above my head as I did. Yukino followed suit, and before we knew it, we found ourselves aimlessly walking around until we found ourselves outside enjoying the afternoon sun. As we walked the perimeter of the campus, I started to talk with Yukino to get us both to relax as much as we could.

"So, Yukino. Have you spoken to Yuigahama recently?" I asked, spitting out the first question that came to mind.

"What do you mean, Hachi-kun? It's only been a day since she skipped club. There hasn't been much time for me to talk to Yuigahama one on one. Plus, she sat with both of us at lunch. Remember?"

"Yeah, I suppose you're right." I responded, feeling a little stupid. As I was thinking of something else to talk about, Yukino continued.

"She did text me right as club started today, though."

"Oh?" I asked, raising my brow.

"She still wants to study with me for those entrance exams. She hasn't thought of any dates or times yet, but she's still planning on it. She even mentioned having you join us, but didn't say anything more."

"Ah, I see."

From there, the conversation devolved into small talk and we started to discuss more banal matters, ranging from possible future club requests to our favorite gourmet dishes. I could tell that Yukino was still visibly shaken from what I'd told her in the club room, but she seemed to be at ease now. In all honesty, we didn't have to walk outside and around the school just to talk. We would've been fine doing so in the club room and quite frankly, in most occasions, I would've opted for that instead. My inane laziness was not something to underestimated. However, given the suffocating atmosphere of the club room, I knew that a nice change of pace would do both Yukino and I some good. Continuing our leisurely stroll, we passed the track field, where the soccer team was practicing. A few distant shouts could be heard from members of the team and I noticed Hayama on the side talking to an underclassman (probably something to do with sports practice). He seemed too occupied to notice me and Yukino walking halfway across the field, so he didn't wave or look over at us.

"…also the Winter Festival, which is coming up in a couple months. Without a doubt, the student council is going to need some extra hands on deck for organization and soon after, preparation…" Yukino continued, discussing upcoming school events.

"Ahh, right. We're probably going to get at least a few requests out of that." I responded. Yukino nodded and looked around, seeming to enjoy herself.

As we continued walking along, a gentle silence fell over us. Unlike before, there wasn't any tension or anxiety floating around. There was a peacefulness to it, similar to what one would feel when listening to white noise or watching waves wash up on a beach. I began to absorb myself in thought like I always do. I was curious about what was making me feel off-kilter and a slow, afternoon saunter with Yukino was the perfect time to do some thinking.

What exactly was I feeling? Usually, I'd be able to deduce from my circumstances what was making me feel unhappy or uncomfortable, but this was different. I could describe what I was feeling as a slight dissatisfaction, but I had absolutely no clue where it came from. It was like a persistent mosquito that kept coming back to bite despite any and all attempts to shoo it away or swat it. With the chaos that had ensued during the last two weeks of my life, it seemed to fade in and out and I never really paid attention to it. That being said, if it was dissatisfaction I was feeling, it had to come from somewhere. Running over the past two weeks in my head, I tried to come to some sort of conclusion.

 _Does it have to do with Yuigahama skipping club? No, it was there before that. Maybe the sudden confession from Yukino has me confused. No, it still goes back further than that. If anything, it probably has something to do with my initial prognosis. Maybe I'm still processing it… Since then, my mood and overall outlook on life has been all over the place._

That was partly true. After that life-changing visit to the oncology clinic, my mind had been in a huge fog. From spacing out during the initial visit to having an anxiety attack when Yuigahama brought up something as simple as studying for college entrance exams to nearly becoming an amnesiac to hearing Yukino pour out her soul, my mind had performed a series of gymnastics on itself and I was almost completely unable to think logically like I usually would. I had no doubt that hearing the devastating news of my prognosis played a role in this mysterious thing I was feeling, but part of me knew that even that wasn't solely responsible.

 _So what could it possibly be?_

Completely absorbed in thought, I failed to realize that my walking pace had slowed considerably and that I was now holding my chin like some strange pseudo-philosopher. Yukino tapped me on the shoulder and spoke up.

"What is it, Hachi-kun?" she asked, seemingly amused at my strange pose.

"Just doing some thinking." I replied, my hand still wrapped my chin.

"Oh? About what?" Yukino further inquired with a curious look on her face.

Now facing Yukino in the same ridiculous pose that I'd maintained for the past couple minutes, I tried to think of an appropriate answer to give her. Eventually giving up, I simply shrugged.

"I don't know, actually. Pretty funny, huh?" I said, chuckling and giving an earnest grin.

"You've had your hand like this for the past few minutes. If I had to guess, I'd say you're trying to impersonate a marble bust of the ancient Greek philosopher Plato." Yukino replied, mimicking my ponderous pose and raising her eyebrows. I chuckled again, my grin widening. My grin turned into a full-fledged smile and before I knew it, I was audibly laughing.

I couldn't recall the last time I'd actually found Yukino's humor funny enough to get this kind of a reaction from me. In fact, I don't think I'd ever genuinely laughed like this with her before. However, Yukino's comparison wasn't the only thing that had me laughing. At that moment, a lightbulb went off in my head.

 _So that's it, huh?_ I thought to myself, shaking my head.

In trying to sort out what was responsible for the mysterious feeling of dissatisfaction I was having, I had become overly fixated upon a single event in my life. However, I had failed to consider other things that had happened in my life prior to that event. It was like I'd considered the start of my life to be when I was told that it was soon going to end. I wasn't dissatisfied with my current situation. Set aside the fact that I had a grim-looking prognosis, I'd managed to overcome many personal fears and come to terms with a lot of unsettling circumstances in the past two weeks. My feeling of dissatisfaction stemmed from something a lot more fundamental. I was unable to make sense of my life up until this point. It wasn't even an issue that had anything to do with my 15 month prognosis. Of course, hearing my prognosis only exacerbated it, but the fact was that I had never actually come to terms with my loner past. Simply put, I was having an existential crisis.

 _Well that explains the philosophical impersonation._

As that thought entered my mind, I began to laugh even harder to the point where my face was turning red. Facing Yukino, who was now surprised at the sheer intensity of my comical reaction, I shook my head again and spoke.

"That was hilarious in ways you wouldn't even imagine." I said, taking a deep breath. Yukino gave me a quizzical look and we resumed walking at our previous pace. I pulled out my phone, looked at the time, and saw that it was now ten 'til five. After seeing what time it was, Yukino and I began the walk back up to the club room. As we continued walking, I began pondering once more, this time a little more aware of the position of my hand relative to my chin. The first step to solving any problem was to recognize that there was one. Making sense of my life would be easy to do if I had a long future to put everything into perspective, but I clearly didn't. This was going to be difficult to work out, but it would be completely necessary. The one thing I wanted more than anything else before biting the dust was closure. And closure I would work towards at any cost.

Leaving school and bidding Yukino farewell, I headed home. Pedaling at a steady pace, I felt rather odd. It felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders, but at the same time it felt like I was being given a new task, a new duty. I had a lot to sort out with Yuigahama as well as Hiratsuka-sensei and all my other peers, but the most important issue I had to sort out was within myself.

 **A/N: Hey, guys! Bronze V Lee Sin here! I know my A/N are arduous to get through, but it's time for a little housekeeping. Classes, tutoring, and club activities are going to start bogging me down soon, so chapter releases are more than likely going to be cut down to once a week from here on out. Don't worry! I'm not going to just up and disappear! I've done a lot of thinking and rereading and I've come to see that certain parts of what I've put down probably came off as sudden, rushed, and at times downright misplayed. As I mentioned when I started writing this thing, I had a worry that pacing and character integrity would become issues and the more I reread the past few chapters, the more I realize that I was simply trying to accomplish too much at once. This is my first creative writing project since I wrote a few short stories back in high school (which was years ago) and I've obviously hit a few rough patches. Some of you have pointed that out and I know. Justicar Deimos pretty much hit the nail on the head in his review. However, I'm going to attempt to learn from what mistakes I've made and continue on. If you're underwhelmed and have decided to drop this fic, I understand. If you're still with me, thanks for putting up with my newbie mistakes and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story. Bronze V Lee Sin out! Hikuu!**


	9. Chapter 8: Under the Knife

Chapter 8: Under the Knife

Opening my eyes, I noticed that a certain beeping noise wasn't currently emanating from my phone. Glancing at my alarm clock, I saw that it was 10 o'clock and began to stretch my arms. As I rose up from my bed, a few sun rays shining through my curtains hit my eyes and I briefly flinched. Rubbing my eyes, I yawned and got up to get a glass of water from the bathroom. As I approached the faucet and reached for a glass from the medicine cabinet, I habitually took out my migraine meds and was about to unscrew the cap when I remembered that I was instructed not to take it today.

 _Right. Not with the operation._ I thought to myself.

Today was the day I was going to get that big tumor removed from my brain. I'd had plenty of weird thoughts about what the experience would be like, but if what the oncologist told me was correct, the process itself wouldn't be all that bad. She obviously knew what she was talking about and I had no reason to believe that she would lie to me about such an important operation, so I took what she told me at face value and left it at that. Turning the faucet on, I filled the glass halfway and then turned the water off. I walked back to my room and sat on my bed. Setting my water on my nightstand, I ran over the past week in my head.

Since my sudden realization during that Tuesday afternoon stroll, I'd done quite a bit of soul-searching, of course to no avail. I'd spent a great deal of time reminiscing and thinking about old memories. I'd contemplated a lot of what-ifs, but eventually realized that doing so did no good and instead decided to think in terms of cause and effect. Even so, thinking about my past in a completely objective manner was impossible and I still found myself walking in circles. I knew that sorting things out in my head was going to be a long, arduous process, so I never really got frustrated or angry. If anything, I was pretty amused at the fact that memories going as far back as early elementary school could get me so salty. Regardless, I reminded myself that it was the effort that counted and that I'd eventually figure it all out. After all, who knew me better than me?

The past few days had been pretty lax. Of course club wasn't exactly the same without Yuigahama there, but Yukino and I had managed to enjoy ourselves and indulge in casual conversation nonetheless. When I told Yuigahama about my operation on Wednesday, she reacted pretty similarly to Yukino, but quickly calmed down after I explained that it wasn't going to be one of those crazy, risky surgeries like one would see in the American drama Grey's Anatomy. Still, she showed a fair amount of concern and if I remember correctly, she said that she wanted to be there before and after I had the operation. Hiratsuka-sensei, who was already informed of the operation via my mother, agreed to tell my homeroom class about my operation before I'd be back at school. I was probably going to get bum-rushed by people asking me questions when I got back, but I preferred that to telling everyone individually or having to make a public announcement by myself. Now that I think of it, everyone might already know considering I was absent from school yesterday due to the fact that I'd been instructed to rest up the day before the operation. Speaking of the operation, check-in time was at noon and the operation itself was estimated to take several hours depending on how long it took for me to wake up from the anesthesia.

 _Wait. Anesthesia... Oh, right. I'm not supposed to eat or drink anything._ I thought to myself, turning my gaze to the untouched glass of water on my nightstand.

I was told that I'd be allowed to have visitors as soon as I was wheeled off to my room, but since visiting hours ended at 10 PM, I wasn't sure how it would work out if I got transferred to my room after then. Yukino told me that she was planning on skipping a family function so she could see me afterwards and if I recall correctly, she was going to walk with me into the waiting room along with Yuigahama, Komachi, and my parents before check-in time. I'm pretty sure she was going to spend the whole day with them, but I didn't know for sure since I never asked. Skipping this family dinner wasn't exactly a big deal for her since she wasn't required to be there, but her absence would more than likely irritate her mother, who I know for a fact she wasn't on the best of terms with.

Glancing at my clock again, I made a mental checklist of things to do before getting ready to leave the house.

 _Get dressed, feed Kamakura, wait for Mom and Dad to get home, text Yukino and Yuigahama that I'm leaving the house soon, leave._

With that, I went into auto-pilot and started on my small list of menial tasks. After slipping on a white t-shirt and some jeans and pocketing my phone, I clumsily walked into the living room, searching for Kamakura's food bowl. Noticing that it wasn't there, I headed to the kitchen to check if it was there instead. As I walked through the doorway, I saw Komachi petting Kamakura, who was eating out of his bowl which was currently on the floor. Komachi looked up at me and greeted me with her usual cheer.

"Oh, there you are! Morning, sleepyhead Onii-chan! Did you sleep okay last night?" she asked, tilting her head with curiosity.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Starving, though…" I mentioned, noting the growling in my stomach.

"Poor Onii-chan. You haven't eaten since dinner last night and you won't be getting any food until tonight." Komachi said with a sigh.

"Yeah, I know. And on top of that, when I do eat, it's probably going to be nasty hospital food. Bleh." I said, curling my nose a bit. Komachi shook her head a little, looked down at Kamakura and then back at me.

"Oh, I fed Kamakura for you!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah, thanks." I said, yawning a little. Komachi turned away from me and then looked back with a more serious expression on her face.

"So… Are you nervous about your big day, Onii-chan?" she asked, a hint of concern in her voice.

"I don't think so." I responded honestly. "I don't know. I haven't had panic attacks or anything, but I am a little nervous. I think I'll be okay."

Yeah, something like that. Strangely, even with the huge operation drawing nearer and nearer, I hadn't really thought much about it. Despite the fact that I was a little queasy, the surgery had managed to stay out of sight and out of mind since I was informed of it. Of course, I was occupied with other things at the time, but I had still never taken too long to dwell upon what today held in store for me. Maybe that was a good thing. Letting my last statement hang in the air, I followed up with a nod and a small smile. Now a little more at ease, Komachi returned the smile and walked towards me, giving me a hug.

"You know, when you get home, Okaa-san and Otou-san will be here every evening. They've been working extra hard so they can spend more time with us." She said.

"I know. It'll be good seeing them around more often. I can't remember the last time we ate dinner together as a family." I stated, thinking back a bit. With that, a rumbling sound came from the front door. "Ahh, speak of the devil. You ready to go?"

"Yeah. Let's go."

With that, Komachi and I walked into the living room. Mom was standing in the doorway with her car keys in hand. As Komachi and I reached for our shoes, Mom looked at us and asked if we were ready to go. We nodded, put on our shoes, and went out the door.

"Otou-san is sleeping in the car. Last night was a long night of work for him, but he'll wake up when we leave." She said, ushering us out the door and locking it behind us. With that, we walked out to the car and got in. As we got in the car, Mom tapped Dad on the shoulder and started the engine. Taking a deep breath and squinting a bit, Dad opened his eyes and looked back at Komachi and I.

"Oh, oh. Good morning. Sorry for snoozing. I pulled an all-nighter last night at work. Anyways, how is my son doing?" he asked, stretching his arms.

Talking to Mom and Dad in person was a strange experience, although refreshing. Normally, their work hours prevented us from seeing each other in person and we'd often be strangers living in the same house. Now, however, they'd be home every evening and I would get to experience the luxury of eating dinner with all immediate family members present. I mostly ignored it in the past, but given my current circumstances, I appreciated having them around. Not quite sure how to start off, I decided to take the formal approach and figure out where to go from there.

"I'm okay. Glad to hear you and Okaa-san will be home more often." I responded.

"Ahh, yes. We managed to shift around our work schedules so we'd be able to come home earlier during the week. We sacrificed a large portion of our overtime bonuses, but it was well worth it. We've hardly been able to spend time together as a family and it was about time that we started." Dad said, nodding and giving an earnest smile. I returned the smile.

The rest of the car ride was peaceful and for the first time in ages, the four of us did a lot of catching up and enjoyed a conversation as a family. We talked about work, school, upcoming events, and I even told my parents about my relationship with Yukino. I texted Yukino and Yuigahama that I had left my house and was on the way to the hospital. By the time we arrived in the waiting room of the surgery ward, Yukino and Yuigahama were already there. As my family and I walked through the door, Yukino and Yuigahama got up and greeted us. As I checked myself in, everyone began to introduce themselves to each other. Walking back from the front desk of the waiting room, I heard the chatter continue and we all took our seats.

"Thank you for supporting our son during this rough time. It really means a lot." I could hear my father say as I took my seat.

"It's nothing, really. We're glad to help." Yukino responded. Yuigahama nodded in agreement and we all smiled. Dad looked at Yukino with curious eyes and asked a question.

"So, Yukinoshita-san… Are you by any chance related to the prefectural House Representative Hiro Yukinoshita?" he asked. Yukino quickly spoke up.

"Yes. I am his daughter." She responded. Dad nodded acquiescently.

"In that case, well met." He said politely, slightly bowing his head. Turning to me, he patted me on the shoulder.

"You nervous?" he asked. I looked back at him and shook my head.

"Not really. I'm more hungry than I am anything else. Hopefully they serve more than mashed potatoes for dinner." I commented, feeling a growl in my stomach. Everyone chuckled a little and I turned to Komachi, Yukino, and Yuigahama.

"So, what are you guys gonna do while I'm under?" I asked. "It's going to last a few hours at least."

"We'll wait here until you're done. It's no trouble for us, Onii-chan." Replied Komachi. She looked at Yukino and Yuigahama, who both smiled gently and nodded. I tilted my head and spoke up again.

"You sure? The waiting room is kind of congested and there's a park and a few restaurants nearby." I said, holding out my hand suggestively. I looked at Mom, who nodded and turned to the three girls sitting adjacent to me.

"I can text Komachi when we get word that Hachiman is finished." She said, holding out her phone. I continued.

"It's fine, really. Plus, the waiting room smells weird." I said jokingly.

Komachi, Yukino, and Yuigahama looked at each other reluctantly and turned towards me, nodding their heads. Just then, I heard a loud, feminine voice over the ward intercom.

"Hikigaya Hachiman, please come to the patient room. Hikigaya Hachiman, please come to the patient room." The voice said.

Upon hearing those words, my heart skipped a beat. I took a deep breath and turned to everyone.

"Alright, that's me. Don't worry, I'll be fine." I said reassuringly, getting up from my seat. My parents nodded and the others bid me farewell and good luck.

"See you in a bit, Onii-chan!"

"See you, Hikki!"

"We'll be waiting for you when you're finished, Hachi-kun."

Waving goodbye to my friends and family, I made my way to the patient room. With each step I took, I could feel a solid thud against my ribcage. It was finally time. After walking a few steps through a fluorescently lit hallway, I was met by a cheery-looking nurse in her mid-30s who immediately greeted me.

"Hello, Hikigaya-san. My name is Orderly Tokei-san and I will be in charge of getting you to and through your operation today. If you have any last minute questions or concerns before everything begins, just let me know, okay?" she said, gesturing towards a nearby gurney with her arm. I simply nodded in response.

I walked towards the gurney and climbed in, resting my arms on the side rails as I did so. The first thing I noticed was how surprisingly comfortable it was. I wasn't particularly familiar with gurneys, but this one was definitely a lot more cushioned and ergonomically fit than I had originally anticipated it to be. Still, my heart continued to race as I thought about the next few hours to come.

 _Okay, Hachiman. We're here. Just remember what you were told. It's not going to hurt. You won't feel a thing._ I thought to myself, attempting to calm my nerves. Maybe it was the fact that I hadn't had anything to drink in over 12 hours, but I distinctly noticed that my mouth felt very dry. As the nurse began to push the gurney through the hallway, she looked at me and spoke up again.

"Feeling any last minute nervousness?" she asked, continuing her path through the hallway.

"Yeah, just a little." I answered honestly.

"Mmm. That's normal. Don't worry, Hikigaya-san. The sedation will calm you down. You won't feel as restless as you are now when the operation begins." The nurse stated reassuringly. "In fact, when you wake up again and the surgeons have you follow their instructions during the operation, it'll feel like you're playing a computer game."

I tilted my head and furrowed my brow at that.

 _Like a computer game… Huh. Interesting way of looking at it._ I thought, my attention turning to the doorway shortly ahead.

The nurse wheeled me through a set of double doors, where she greeted a couple of other people who then assisted her in pushing me through the hall. Everything felt like a blur, but at the same time, the entire scene seemed to play out keenly and vividly. The everso subtle "hospital smell" began to fill my nostrils, and the lighting seemed to permeate the hallway.

The faces of the people just now surrounding me were fairly familiar. I think my mother and I had spoken to them at some point, but I was probably too far in shock to pay attention to who they were at the time. After a few moments, I recognized them as the lead surgeon and anesthesiologist that my oncologist had introduced me to a couple weeks back. Finally arriving in an empty holding room, one of the two others who helped Orderly Tokei-san push me through the hallway extended his hand and greeted me. I shook his hand and looked up at him.

"Hello, Hikigaya-san. I'll be in charge of your operation today. The operating room still needs some final preparations, so it'll be about fifteen minutes until we're good to go. In the meanwhile, Tokei-san here will keep you company and take care of you." He said, quickly bowing and taking his leave, the anesthesiologist following behind him.

I felt a chill run down my spine and began to shiver a bit. It might've had something to do with being nervous, but this part of the hospital definitely felt cold. In fact, I'm surprised the sensation hadn't hit me sooner. As I began to rub my hands together, Tokei-san looked at me with a knowing expression and asked if I wanted a blanket.

"The operation room is going to be even colder than it is in here. I can get you a blanket if you need one, Hikigaya-san." She said calmly, offering a slight smile.

"Yeah, I'd appreciate that. Thanks." I responded, my teeth now beginning to chatter. Tokei-san walked over to a cabinet, where she pulled a thick blue blanket out of a plastic wrap, throwing the wrap in a nearby disposal bin.

"Here you go." She said, gently draping the blanket over me. Immediately, I felt a bit warmer as the insulation of the blanket began to do its job.

The next few minutes went by slowly, Tokei-san throwing in a few reassuring words here and there. I tried thinking idle thoughts to pass the time by, but for some reason, I was unable to. Giving up, I looked around the room again curiously, trying to imagine what was in all the drawers and cabinets. I knew there were blankets in one of them, but I couldn't exactly figure out what was in the others. Surgical tools? Other medical equipment? Drugs? Nurses uniforms? Scrubs? Cotton balls? As I let my mind wander a little more, I heard some footsteps approaching the door. Turning my head towards the door, I noticed Tokei-san nod her head and a few more people wearing scrubs and nurses outfits walked in the room, wheeling me out and chattering in medical jargon that I didn't really understand. The moving pace seemed to pick up quickly, and just as soon as I'd entered the hallway, I was now entering a crowded room filled with all kinds of monitoring equipment and other fancy gadgets.

One of the people dressed in scrubs reached behind the gurney and pulled a lever, elevating my head so that I was almost sitting completely upright. As that happened, I squinted my eyes and noticed that the overhead lights were being adjusted. Some of the people were looking at the equipment and others were talking to the head surgeon. A few came over to me and fitted me with blood pressure and heart rate monitors. I briefly flinched as a few sticky probes were placed on my forehead. The chattering and commotion seemed to pick up a bit, and as I looked around, the anesthesiologist came over to me and tapped my shoulder.

"Hikigaya-san, can you turn your right arm a little bit for me?" he asked, producing an elastic rubber tube. Wrapping the tube around my arm and tying a gentle knot, he reached over on one of the tables and pulled out an IV.

"Okay, good. Now open and close your hand a couple times."

I followed suit and a couple seconds later, took a deep breath as the IV was inserted into my arm. The rubber tube was taken off and the anesthesiologist walked over to another table. Coming back, I saw him flick a syringe and insert it into the IV. Pressing down on the plunger, he spoke up again.

"You're doing great, Hikigaya-san. Rest easy, now. We'll wake you up when we need you." he said, patting me on the shoulder.

Initially, I felt no difference and began to wonder if the anesthesia was actually going to work or not. Maybe I'd end up in one of those weird cases where the patient wakes up when he's not supposed to. Oh, God. I did not want that. Turning to the anesthesiologist, I began to ask him a question.

"Hey, how long will it be until I can fee- oh…" I quickly muttered as a warm, sleepy sensation began to wrap around me. The overhead lights seemed to spin out with a light green hue and before I knew it, my eyes began to close.

After what felt like a split second, I opened my eyes and the operation room was now back in view. I still felt sleepy and my entire body was motionless. I still had my blanket and I could feel that my head and neck were now immobilized. As my senses continued to return to me, I noticed the steady beeping of the heartrate monitor as well as a few sporadic noises coming from some of the other instruments. I could hear the constant chatter of doctors and surgeons behind me, but I wasn't able to make out what they were saying. After a few more moments passed, my focus sharpened slightly and I could distinguish some of what I was hearing.

"...avoid this region here…"

"…longer response time indicates we're close to damaging…"

A few seconds later, one of the surgeons walked in front of me and began to talk to me.

"Can you hear me, Hikigaya-san?"

I nodded in response, struggling to do so as my head was stuck.

"Okay, then. From here on out, we're going to ask you a series of questions and ask you to think of certain colors, phrases, and objects. We'll also have you move around a little bit. We'll need you to comply as quickly as you can, but don't fret if you feel a bit sluggish. Okay?"

"Okay."

With that, the surgeon turned to a couple others behind him and signaled something to them. Still somewhat disoriented from the anesthesia and sedation, I closed and reopened my eyes in an attempt to wake up a little. As I did so, the surgeon in front of me spoke to me again.

"Okay, Hikigaya-san. What color is the sky?" he asked. I blurted out the first thing to come to mind.

"Blue."

The surgeon turned to the others and nodded briefly before turning back to me and asking another question.

"How many days are there in a week?"

"Seven."

Once again, the surgeon turned to the people behind me and signaled to them.

"Name them."

"Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday."

The same thing as before happened and a few seconds later, I was instructed to count to ten. I followed the instructions and saw the surgeon nod his head again. This pattern continued for a short while, with me following simple instructions and the surgeons signaling and chattering amongst themselves. As this was happening, I lost track of time and eventually felt like a robot, obeying simple commands and watching the system work around me. At certain points, I was fairly certain that some of the questions were being repeated. It wasn't exactly a bad feeling. I mean, for currently having my brain exposed to the operation room, I was rather relaxed. It was almost like I was watching some strange children's television show. All thoughts in my head ceased to exist aside from the answers to the questions I was being asked and the simple tasks I was being given. Suddenly, something strange happened. The surgeon turned to me again and asked me another question.

"What number is half a dozen?" he asked.

I froze. It's not that I didn't know the answer to the question. I did. Even a preschooler could tell you that the answer was six. I paused a bit, but the word eventually found its way off my tongue.

"Uhh, six."

The surgeon turned to the others and shook his head, making a cutting gesture near his neck. He walked over behind me and the chatter between the surgeons grew a little more intense. I could hear them talking, but with so many voices and lots of jargon being tossed around, I hadn't the slightest clue of what they were saying. Whatever it was, my brief pause almost certainly had something to do with it. Nodding and walking back in front of me, the surgeon turned to me again.

"Okay, Hikigaya-san. Can you take your left hand out from underneath your blanket and turn it palm up for me?"

Sluggishly moving my arm, I followed suit.

"Now try to wiggle your fingers a bit."

Following instructions once again, I wiggled my fingers, watching each of my fingertips wag in rapid succession. I wasn't exactly sure what had happened just a minute ago, but it was very strange. The question itself was very simple and I had the answer in my mind. The number six was clearly there, but somewhere along the line from thinking of the number to actually saying it, there was a small glitch, a small hiccup. Whatever it was changed the nature of instructions, because since then, I hadn't been asked to answer any questions or think of anything. In fact, at this point, the only thing I was being told to do was wiggle my fingers, turn my hand, and move my leg.

Once again, time seemed nonexistent as I became a robot, mindlessly following commands and waiting in between. I was fully awake and aware of what was happening at this point, but not once did the weirdness taking place between my ears enter the fringe of my conscience. I was simply too busy following instructions. After what might've been an eternity or perhaps only a few minutes, the surgeon talking to me walked over to me and patted me on the shoulder.

"Okay, Hikigaya-san. You've done a great job. The hard part's over for you now. We'll take it from here." He said, signaling something to the anesthesiologist who was standing nearby.

With that, my eyelids grew heavy and the operation room faded as my vision blurred and I was put back into a slumber.

 **Hey, guys! Bronze V Lee Sin here! Just another little update: on top of my busy school schedule, I've done a lot of storyboarding and rehashing in the past couple of weeks. The Word document I have the story saved on is absolutely littered with annotations and side notes (I get rid of them before uploading each chapter, so don't worry about having to deal with them). As a result, the updates have probably been slow and the story itself probably seems to be trudging along at this point. Don't worry! I've finalized the outline and will spend all my spare time actually writing from this point on. Concerning the surgical procedure, I'm fairly familiar with how it goes (although for certain details, I had to consult a few outside sources) and I did my best to try and translate that to being shown from the perspective of the person undergoing the operation. If there were any inaccuracies, I apologize in full. Concerning the lack of focus on symptomatic issues, I'm trying to keep this story as medically accurate as I can, and part of that means not overdoing the symptoms. As is especially the case in young, healthy people like Hachiman, brain cancer is often out of sight and out of mind, only harshly impairing the afflicted person once it's progressed a long way. I've modeled the progression of Hachiman's case to be as similar to that of a person I knew who suffered from the same ailment. I'm doing my best to write around it, but it's still a tough deal. For those of you who have voiced your disappointment and dropped, I'm sorry you didn't enjoy the story. I'm still new to this, so there have been a lot of kinks to work out and a lot of rough edges to sand off. For those of you who are sticking with me on this, I thank you for your support and hope you enjoy the rest of the story. Bronze V Lee Sin out! Hikuu!**

 **P.S. Whoever keeps using alt accounts, posting as guests and accusing me of plagiarizing a similar story on Wattpad, I'm going to have to ask you to stop. One comment is perfectly fine, but five within a couple days under multiple aliases is excessive to the point of spam (not to mention that each comment has been repetitive and aggressive in nature; not just towards me, but to other reviewers as well). The outline for this story has been on my hard drive the entire way through and if you think that originality is an issue (or if the story that mine is conceptually similar to is yours), please contact me via PM and I would be happy to sort things out with you. Otherwise, from this point on, I'm going to have to start deleting your comments (read: insults). It's rude, unnecessary, and prevents people from seeing the actual reviews. There are more civilized, rational ways of going about addressing concerns that you might have. Thank you.**


	10. Chapter 9: And So It All Begins

Chapter 9: And So It All Begins

Groggily opening my eyes, I examined my surroundings and noticed that I was no longer in the operation room. All the equipment was gone and the doctors who were just standing around me were no longer present. The IV had been removed from my arm and I was now able to rotate my neck and look from side to side. I could feel a small layer of gauze and bandages around the top of my head. As I continued to look around, somewhat bewildered at the change of scenery, I heard a voice come from my left. Immediately turning my head, I saw a familiar woman in a nurse's outfit holding a pen and clipboard in her hands.

"Ahh, looks like you're awake now, Hikigaya-san." She said, jotting something down on the clipboard. I rubbed my eyes and yawned, still feeling extremely drowsy. "Your surgeon and his post-operative evaluation team will be with you in just a few minutes."

Nodding my head, I looked at the clock hanging on the wall in front of me. Struggling to focus on where the hands were, I spoke up.

"Nurse Tokei-san, what time is it?" I asked, still squinting at the clock.

"It's 6:30 PM right now. You're probably wondering when you'll get to see your family, huh?" Tokei-san responded. I nodded.

"After your surgeon has a look at you, you'll be transferred to a Critical Care Unit. The whole thing'll probably take an hour to an hour and a half, but once you're there, you'll get to see all your friends and loved ones. They'll be notified once you've been transferred to your room." She said.

I nodded again, looking around. The sign outside the room indicated that I was in the recovery ward. At this point, the fact that the operation was now over fully sunk in and I began to feel a little less groggy. Yawning again, I began to lose myself in thought.

 _That whole thing was something else. I couldn't really tell what was going on. I don't feel much different than I did before, so that's probably good. If what Tokei-san told me is right and I've got like an hour and a half until I get to see everyone again, that'll leave two hours or so until visiting hours are over. Not too shabby. I suppose it could've been worse._

Right then, I felt my stomach growl ferociously. Hearing what amounted to two walruses initiating some bizarre mating ritual, I put my hand to my stomach remembering that I hadn't had anything to eat or drink in a full day.

 _Man, I really hope I get a good dinner tonight…_ I thought, unable to drool in hunger due to my mouth feeling drier than a cotton ball.

Just then, I heard a few footsteps coming from the hallway. Nurse Tokei-san looked out the door and immediately began to gesture towards the room with her left arm, holding the clipboard and pen in her right hand. Moments later, a few people that I recognized from the surgical team earlier walked in and the lead surgeon approached me with his hand extended.

"Good evening, Hikigaya-san. How are you feeling?" He asked as I shook his open hand.

"Okay, I guess. I'm a little tired and I feel hungry, but other than that I feel just fine." I replied, patting my empty stomach with my other hand. The surgeon chuckled a little.

"I can imagine. You probably haven't eaten in a day or so. Don't worry. I'm just going to check on a few things and then you'll be right on your way. By the way, I checked the cafeteria menu on the way here. It looks like it's steak night." He said, raising one brow and smiling a little. I smiled a bit in return and rested my hands in my lap.

The next hour or so went by at a moderate, but reasonable pace. The lead surgeon conferred with Nurse Tokei-san a couple times and then began to ask me a few questions. While evaluating me, he frequently turned back towards the other doctors standing around him. From having me perform tasks similar to what I did earlier to asking me if I felt anxious or depressed to having me briefly stand up and take a few steps forward and backwards, he constantly went back and forth between me and his team. For the most part, it seemed as if he was making sure that my brain wasn't damaged or otherwise negatively altered during the procedure. I seemed to pass his "evaluation" with flying colors and for the most part, I could tell that a majority of his potential worries had been taken care of by the time he was done. Wrapping up, he extended his hand once more and gave an informative farewell.

"Alright, Hikigaya-san. That about does it. From what I could tell, we didn't rattle you up too much and your most important functions seem to be just as good as they were before. However, I'm not perfect and I do miss little things from time to time. If you feel that anything is wrong with you over the next few days, let the staff know so I can take another look at you and refer you to the appropriate therapist. Other than that, you look just fine and you should be out of here by Thursday. Rest over the weekend when you get back home and you'll be fine to return to school on Monday. Your oncologist will take things from there. Okay?"

"Okay."

With that, the surgeon and his team hurried out of the room and Nurse Tokei-san took me through another series of hallways until we reached an empty room with a bunch of monitoring equipment. Next to the door was a small sign with the number 137 and the words "Hikigaya Hachiman" written in pen underneath. After placing me in the center of the room, Nurse Tokei-san turned towards me and asked me a question.

"I know it's late in the evening and getting dark outside, but would you like me to open the window curtains?" she asked.

"Yeah, that's fine." I replied, watching as she walked over to the window and pulled the curtain cord. After doing so, she watched back towards me and began to set up the monitoring equipment, attaching a couple of electrodes to my chest and fiddling with the other equipment in the room. After getting everything set up, she walked towards the door and turned to me.

"I'm going to check with the cafeteria so we can get your dinner squared away. Another one of the orderlies is going to step in while I'm out. If you need anything, just let him know. I'll be back soon, though." She said reassuringly. As she walked out the door, another nurse walked in and introduced himself to me.

"Hello, Hikigaya-san. I'm just filling in for the minute. Orderly Tokei-san will be back in just a few with your dinner. You're one of the patients she's been assigned to, so she'll be the one who's mainly in charge of keeping watch over you but the rest of us are here to help as well." He said, smiling gently. I nodded and waited patiently, dinner being one of the only things currently on my mind.

After five minutes or so, Nurse Tokei-san returned with a covered plate, some napkins and chopsticks and a glass of water sitting on a tray. The other nurse pulled a movable table out in front of me and Tokei-san set the tray down on the table. As she did so, the aroma of freshly cooked meat and vegetables filled my nostrils. The other nurse left and Tokei-san sat down near some of the monitoring equipment. She spoke up.

"Hikigaya-san, your family has been notified that you've been transferred here. They'll probably be here shortly." She said, looking at me and then back at her clipboard, which she had picked up again. Nodding, I picked up the cup of water and took a few sips. Setting it down, I licked my lips and uncovered the plate. Immediately, my eyes widened and a large smile found its way to my face.

 _Chopped steak pieces, white rice, broccoli, and tempura sauce! Holy hell! That's what I'm talking about!_

I separated my chopsticks and dug in. The flavor of medium-well steak flooded my taste buds and I found myself blissfully chomping away. In all honesty, the food wasn't gourmet by any means. It was a fairly simple plate, but considering that it was the first meal I'd had in over a day, it was the most delicious thing I'd ever tasted.

In between bites, I paused a little to look out the window. The sun was looming over the horizon with a red glow again, illuminating the cherry blossom trees outside. Seeing the light pass through the falling petals, I was brought back to that life-changing afternoon at the oncology clinic. Something about this particular scene seemed engrained in my mind, although now in a less haunting manner. So much had happened in the past two weeks. I could hardly recount everything in my head without getting lost. However, aside from the sunset outside, something else felt amusingly familiar; something that took me back even further. Although now in a Post-operative Critical Care Unit with a stitched cranium instead of a broken leg, I was lying down in a hospital bed.

 _To think… Just a couple years ago, I was here in the same hospital. Things were much different back then. I was barely starting high school, I didn't know anyone, my outlook on life was painfully narrow, and I was barely growing out of my chuuni stage. I was adamant on devoting myself to becoming a house-husband for Christ' sake. Not that it was too ambitious for the time, though… Heh, if anything I'd say it was the opposite. Oh, how things change. One moment I'm meeting my club mates for the first time and intentionally leaving a bad impression on them. The next, I'm here. And then there's everything in between…_

On that thought, I noticed the sun flicker and disappear beneath the horizon, leaving only the street lights to illuminate the scenery. I placed my chopsticks on my now empty plate and covered it back up, pushing it to the back of the tray. Nurse Tokei-san came over and moved the tray somewhere else, leaving the table in front of me empty. Just then, I heard a quiet commotion coming from outside in the hallway. Tokei-san stepped out and spoke to whoever was standing outside the door.

"Ahh, are you here for Hikigaya-san?" she asked. I heard my mother's voice reply.

"Yes. Is this Room 137?"

"Yes, it is. Hikigaya-san is inside and awake. You can see him now."

With that, Tokei-san ushered in the group of people standing outside my room. Looking over at the door, I saw everyone pour in. From left to right, I saw my mother, my father, Komachi, Yukino, Yuigahama, Tokei-san, and Hiratsuka-sensei. Happy to see everyone again and pleasantly surprised at Hiratsuka-sensei's visit, I waved and greeted everyone. Nurse Tokei-san fetched a few extra chairs, and within a few moments, everyone was now seated. Komachi was the first to speak up.

"Onii-chan, how are you feeling?" she asked calmly, looking me up and down.

"I'm a little tired, but otherwise fine. I just had dinner, so I'm actually feeling pretty good right now." I said, patting my stomach with a satisfied grin. Everyone chuckled a little and Yuigahama spoke up next.

"What did you have for dinner?" she asked. Somewhat happy and excited to answer, I quickly responded.

"Oh, that's the great part. It was steak night, so I had steak bits, rice, and broccoli all alongside some tempura sauce." I said, nodding my head somewhat enthusiastically. Everyone looked at each other and then back at me, nodding their heads as well. I turned to Hiratsuka-sensei.

"Thanks for coming, Hiratsuka-sensei. When did you get here?" I asked curiously.

"Ahh, I knew you were having your operation today, so I asked your mother when you were going to be able to have visitors. She texted me a couple of hours ago saying that you'd just gotten finished with the operation and that you'd be ready soon. I came as soon as I was finished with work." She said with a small smile. "By the way, I made the announcement to your class yesterday. You'll be getting some visitors over the next week."

I nodded my head and with that, we all broke into conversation. The once empty room was now filled with cheery friends and family. I know that they were probably a little shocked to see my head wrapped in bandages and myself surrounded by a bunch of scary-looking equipment, but for the most part, everyone seemed to be reacting pretty well. We broke off into different conversations and what was originally a group visitation became a lively gathering. Mom and Dad were talking to Hiratsuka-sensei about school-related matters while Komachi listened to Yuigahama, Yukino, and I talk about club activities and future study sessions. Nurse Tokei-san sat to the side, occasionally writing on her clipboard. Time flew by as we talked and enjoyed each other's company. The whole time we were sitting there, I noticed Yukino act strangely reserved. Not to say that she wasn't a reserved person to begin with, but she'd hardly offered more than a few comments since we'd started talking and she was also giving me a subtle, concerned look. The feeling that she had something important to say was undeniably strong at this point. As I was wondering what she wanted to speak to me about, Yuigahama paused for a second and pulled out her phone. With a disappointed look on her face, she turned towards me.

"Ahh, I'm sorry, Hikki. My mom said that it's getting late and that I have to go soon. She's expecting me in the parking lot in a few minutes." She said, sulking a little.

"Oh, that's fine. I'll see you soon." I replied, smiling a little. Yuigahama said her goodbyes to everyone else and turned to me again before stepping out the door.

"I'll be back to visit every day, Hikki."

With that, I nodded and Yuigahama left. Looking at the clock, I noticed that it was 9:15 and that over an hour had passed since everyone had started talking. With Yuigahama's energy no longer present, Komachi excitedly spoke up.

"Oh! Onii-chan! Yui-chan, Yukino-chan, and I did a lot of walking around earlier. We went to the park and then ended up having tea and coffee at some café. I really wish you could've been there with us, but, well..." She said, shrugging a little towards the end.

"Yeah, I know. What was the name of the café?" I asked curiously. Komachi and Yukino looked at each other a little and rolled their eyes a bit.

"Café." Komachi answered, shaking her head.

"Oh, I see. How original…" I replied, shaking my head as well and chuckling a little in the process. Suddenly, Komachi spoke up again, this time with a new spark in her voice.

"Oh, by the way! You wouldn't guess who we ran into while we were there!" Komachi exclaimed. Just then, Yukino's face lost a little color and she looked down at the ground. Nothing had to be said. At that moment, I knew who Komachi was talking about.

"Haruno-san." I said with a straight face and a confirmative tone.

"Yup! She bought us all pastries and had some coffee with us! We talked for quite a bit, but she eventually said she had to go because of some meeting with her family later. She was a bit more serious when she heard about your… You know." Said Komachi, fumbling around a bit with her last couple of words.

"Yeah, I see." I replied, motioning for her to continue.

"She also pulled Yukino-chan to the side to talk to her about something right before she left... I almost couldn't tell that she did, though. That café was packed. They did have good sweet rolls, though…" she finished, yawning in the process.

Komachi quickly trailed off and looked back and forth between me and Yukino. I could tell that she was worn out from walking around and conversing all day. I could spot dark circles under her eyes and as I stretched my legs a little, I noticed her head drooping a little as if she were about to fall asleep. Mom saw this and tapped Dad on the shoulder, pointing to a now sleepy Komachi. They looked at each other and came over to me. Mom looked at me and spoke.

"Well, it looks like Komachi here is going to need to get some rest after being out and about all day. We'll be back tomorrow, though." She said. Turning to Yukino, she asked a question.

"Yukinoshita-san, do you need a ride back to your apartment?" she asked. Upon hearing that, Hiratsuka-sensei turned over to Mom.

"Oh, don't worry about that. I can take care of giving her a ride back if she needs one." She replied, holding out her car keys in her hand. My mom tilted her head a little.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, it's no issue for me whatsoever. I don't mind at all."

Turning to Yukino, Mom asked another question.

"Is that alright with you, Yukinoshita-san?"

Yukino nodded and with that, my parents and Komachi said their goodbyes and made their way back down the hallway. Their steps and chatter faded until no longer audible and Hiratsuka-sensei stood up, making her way to the door. Turning to Yukino and I, she yawned a little.

"It was nice seeing you, Hikigaya. I'll visit a couple more times during the week after work gets out. For now, I'm gonna go outside and have a little smoke. Yukinoshita, just text me when you're ready to go, okay? I can tell you have something you want to talk to him about."

Yukino nodded and with that, Hiratsuka-sensei waved and left, leaving Yukino as the only visitor currently left in the room. For a minute or so, there was a silence between us; a brief pause so to speak. As Yukino collected herself, I pondered on what she had to say.

 _Haruno-san ran into her and pulled her aside to talk to her. That sounds like trouble. Scary devil-woman…_ I thought to myself, nearly shivering in the process. Yukino cleared her throat and looked at me, a somewhat concerned look on her face.

"Ahem, Hachi-kun. As you heard from Komachi-san earlier, we ran into Nee-san while we were out…"

I slowly nodded and gestured for her to continue.

"As you can imagine, she was overly friendly and cheery when she saw Komachi-san, Yuigahama-san, and I having a brief snack at a café together. Naturally, she asked about you." She said, looking down a little. I slowly nodded again and as I did so, I could hear Yukino gulp.

"We told her about your condition and where you were today. Of course, she was shocked to hear and left a formal apology as well as an 'I hope he gets well' statement. However, as soon as she heard the news, her demeanor changed. There was an urgency in her voice when she was speaking. No one else could tell, but I knew it. When she pulled me aside before she left, she said some things to me…"

Yukino sighed and then looked back up at me. She went on. My eyes widened slightly.

"She's known about us for a few days. She saw us walking around the campus on Tuesday, holding hands and chatting idly. Initially, she was somewhat happy that I'd decided to break my habit of indecisiveness and finally make a move on you, but when she heard about your condition, something in her snapped. She was still cheery about it near the others, but when she pulled me aside... God, you wouldn't believe what she said…"

Noticeably disturbed at this point, Yukino paused and took a deep breath before continuing. I tilted my head to the side and my mouth slightly gaped open, fearing the worst.

"She doesn't seem to care about you one bit, Hachi-kun. Do you want to know what she told me?" Yukino asked, gritting her teeth.

"She's concerned about me being in a relationship with you because of how taxing it could be on my mental health. She's more concerned that my test scores might drop a little because I'm spending time with you instead of studying. She seems indifferent to our relationship in and of itself, but she doesn't care about the fact that you've been diagnosed with a terminal illness. She completely overlooked that and went straight to talking about me." She said, her voice beginning to quaver.

"She cares more about the fact that I might not get into a top-tier university than the fact that someone that she and I know is going through a very difficult time. She never directly said it, but I know it's because you don't have a whole lot of time left before you… God, how could she be so uncompassionate?!" She said, finishing with a violent outburst. Nurse Tokei-san looked over at us as if to ask if everything was alright and I quickly nodded my head.

Yukino was visibly angered at this point. Despite the fact that she carried an icy gaze, a fiery rage began to rise up within her. In an attempt to quell her anger, I responded with something a little out of left field.

"I'm sure she didn't say that out of malice. I mean, she never said that she was against our relationship. She's just…" I trailed off as I searched for the right words to say.

Originally, I wanted to say that she was just looking out for her sister. But, that might not have been entirely true. Haruno-san might've been concerned for some other reason. After all, she was the type of person to think in terms of logistics, even if it meant completely counting out a dying person. Unable to finish what I was going to say, I remained silent. Yukino spoke up again, a little more composed at this point.

"That's not entirely it, though. This is the part that worries me. Do you want to know what else she said?"

I stayed silent, waiting for Yukino to continue.

"Well, first off and before I tell you, she's at my family's banquet right now…"

My eyes completely shot open as a series of horrifying ideas ran through my head. Haruno-san, family banquet, something else that she said… I drew the dots together and my mouth was now fully gaping open. Yukino nodded sadly and spoke up again.

"She said that she was going to talk about us and your condition. Of course she threw in the entire spiel about observing formalities, but I knew something else was on her mind. Knowing Nee-san…"

Obviously frustrated, Yukino turned to me and gently put her hand on my shoulder. She looked me in the eyes, wearing a desperate look that showed a slight glimmer of hope.

"There's two reasons she would bring you up at the banquet. The first one… Well, I don't need to tell you about that since you probably have an idea of what would happen if she told mother about our relationship, especially with your condition. The second one, and this is what I hope she's getting at..."

Yukino looked up as she paused momentarily, thinking of what to say next. Looking back at me, she continued.

"She won't bring it up in front of both of them since that would mean doing so in front of dozens of other people, which would be out of place and out of line. She'll either tell mother in private or she'll tell father in private. If she tells mother, I have no doubt in my mind that mother will do everything in her power to pull us apart. However, if she tells father…"

Yukino squinted and asked me a question.

"When you walked into Chiba's oncology center, did you notice my father's name written in big characters on a large plaque?"

I paused a bit, thinking back and trying to answer Yukino's question. Pulling blanks, I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head.

"I don't think so. I never really paid attention to my surroundings whenever I visited the place." I replied, partially lying as I did remember every square inch of the consultation room.

"Well, one thing that I know for sure is that my father is one of that facility's largest donors. He's poured tens of millions of Yen into that place. He never speaks much about it, but years ago, a close friend of his was losing a battle with cancer. After his friend died, he briefly spoke for the oncology center at a diet meeting and donated a large sum of his own money when the diet refused to increase its funding. Like I said, he's never brought it up or said much about it, but I do know this to be true. If Nee-san is planning on telling him first…" Yukino trailed off, confused with how she was feeling.

After listening to what she said, I understood why. If I heard correctly, Haruno-san was planning on either protecting or destroying our relationship. She obviously cared about how my condition would affect Yukino, but how she felt about me was ambiguous. Despite the fact that Yukino and I could easily spot that she was putting up a cheery façade around others, her true intentions were always impossible for us to read. It was something that had always confused me. To an extent, it made me slightly resent her and fear what she could do. In this case, her most likely choices of action were polar opposites and would greatly affect how Yukino and I would continue going about our lives for however long I had left.

It was likely that she'd considered the fact that if she had her mother intervene, it would likely stress out Yukino even more than she is already and have a negative impact on her school performance. She might've planned to tell their father in order to prevent this from happening since she would easily be able to play to his sympathy. If he was first to find out, it's likely that he would feel strongly sympathetic towards my plight and support my relationship with his daughter. But, it's also possible that Haruno-san wanted to distance Yukino from me in order to hasten the inevitable scenario where she'd never get to see me again in order to get it over with. I mean, she could've just as easily chosen to say absolutely nothing and keep everything a secret. Equally as confused as Yukino, I sighed and shook my head. At this point, whatever was going to happen was going to happen and nothing could stop it. I was tired and quite frankly, incapable of putting forth a strong reaction. Suddenly, Nurse Tokei-san walked over to us. Turning to Yukino, she pointed to the clock and spoke up.

"It's five past ten. Visiting hours are over, but I'll give you a few minutes until you have to go."

Yukino nodded and replied.

"Ahh, I see. Thank you." She said, appreciatively smiling at Nurse Tokei-san. Tokei-san gave an understanding look and went back to her seat, her clipboard curiously still in hand. Yukino leaned towards me and caressed my chin, still wearing a confused look on her face. We stayed like this for a couple minutes, weary and apprehensive about the near future.

 _Haruno-san, why must you be such an enigma?_ I thought to myself, letting my conscience trail as I stared at Yukino. Soon after, Yukino stood up and walked to the door. Turning around, she looked at me and smiled with a hopeful look in her eyes.

"I'll be back tomorrow, Hachi-kun." She said softly before walking out the door. As she walked out, I could hear her footsteps fade out.

Mentally taking a step back, I thought about everything that I'd heard within the past few hours. People from my class and school were going to be visiting me this week. Haruno-san found out about my relationship with Yukino as well as my condition and was planning on telling one or both of their parents about it. I was also expected to start treatment sometime after being released from the hospital.

Treatment was a given. I knew this from the very start, so I didn't have much of an issue with that. I had already mentally prepared myself for whatever the future held for me in that regard. However, the issue of Haruno-san's announcement loomed in my mind. I had no idea what she was thinking, which worried me. If she got her mother involved, I don't know what would happen next. On top of that, I wasn't sure what to think of my classmates coming to visit me every day. I could only imagine a cascade of heart-shaped balloons and get-well cards. If anything, most of them were probably only going to show up compulsively. Even if they did show up on their own volition, I was going to have to deal with a bunch of people coming and going as if they were offering condolences. I knew that this was a possibility beforehand, but now that I let the thought sink in, it began to seem more and more appalling by the minute. There was also the fact that I still had yet to get my feet on solid ground and attempt any deep introspection…

Long story short, this next week was going to be a mess. Deciding that resting up was the best thing to do, I leaned back and closed my eyes. As I did so, I noticed Nurse Tokei-san get up and dim the lights a little. Letting out a long sigh of exhaustion, I fell into the depths of slumber, finally retiring for the night.

 **A/N:**

 **Hey everyone! Bronze V Lee Sin here again! After rehashing the storyboard dozens of times and looking at my semester schedule, I decided that I'd be doing weekly chapter releases. I can comfortably write and release chapters at that pace while maintaining my schedule from day to day. This thing'll probably start to wrap up sometime in April if everything goes as I have it written down. To those of you who have taken the time to PM me with suggestions and advice, I can't thank you enough. Your words of support have helped me push through the tougher segments of this thing and will continue to aid me as I write the rest of this story. I've also made little notes on the earlier segments of my outline and once I'm done wrapping up the story, I'm going to rewrite the whole thing adding extra chapters and making changes where needed. I haven't decided on whether or not I'm going to upload that here, but making a 2.0 version is definitely on my agenda. For those of you wondering why I didn't describe what the surgeons were doing to Hachiman's brain during the surgery, I was writing it from his perspective. He wouldn't be able to tell what they were doing and hence wouldn't be able to see any of the gory stuff. However, to clarify, the surgeons had Hachiman awake so that they could map his brain and determine which areas not to touch when removing the tumor. Since the tumor itself was described as irregularly shaped earlier on, removing a vast majority of the tumor without damaging Hachiman's brain would require a very sensitive layout of where to operate. Instances where Hachiman found himself slow to react or speak indicated that the probing used to map his brain was hitting a zone that controlled an important function (speech, motor skills, etc.) and that the zone in question was an area to exercise caution around. However, as a patient and stranger to brain surgery, Hachiman wouldn't have this knowledge. I briefly mentioned parts of this when taking snippets of what the surgeons were saying while Hachiman was waking up in the OR, but it was brief and easy to miss. Hopefully this cleared up a few things. I noticed some of you mentioning that there wasn't a whole lot of character interaction going on in the past few chapters. With Hachiman's surgery out of the way and his return to (what for him will hopefully be) a somewhat normal life despite his treatment plan, the next few chapters are going to be jam-packed with dialogue. The journey is only beginning! Anyways, that's all from me for now. Bronze V Lee Sin out! Hikuu!**


	11. Chapter 10: A Thought to Consider

Chapter 10: A Thought to Consider

The next couple of days were unexpectedly peaceful despite the huge load of news I had received on Saturday night. I started taking my post-op meds, which seemed to mellow everything out a bit and I finally had a period of time in which I could relax and clear my mind. Although the hospital wasn't exactly the most comfortable place to rest, I felt a little more at ease now that I had time to decompress. Nurse Tokei-san was in and out, checking on me from time to time and keeping me on schedule with my meds. After getting the chance to see myself in a mirror, I couldn't help but shake my head and chuckle a little. Most of my hair had been cut off and there was an elliptical pattern of stitching around the top of my head. I noticed how I both looked and felt like a zombie, which for some reason made me crack up quite a bit. I was almost shocked that nobody who visited me on Saturday night commented on that.

On Sunday, almost everyone who came to visit me the night before was back, although they came separately for the most part. I had a decent chat with Yuigahama, who left a nice, hand-made card. She probably would've brought balloons, flowers, and boxes of candy as well, but ICU protocol didn't allow for it, so she stuck with a personalized card. We spoke briefly about club matters and spent the remainder of her visit chatting about study sessions for University entrance exams, which were coming up within the next few months. Up to this point, we had all spent a minimal amount of time studying, but now that the exams themselves were drawing nearer, it was time for Yuigahama and Yukino to get down to brass tacks and put in the long hours. I, of course, volunteered to help with studying the language portion. Yuigahama brought her usual cheery attitude, but speaking to her, I could tell that she was no longer as personal with me as she used to be. There was sort of a distance that seemed to have built up between us for the past week, but there was no need to address it as we both knew why. Part of it was out of respect for Yukino and the other was simply a result of self-restraint. Still, I was glad that she came and thanked her for stopping by when she left.

Komachi and my parents were happy to visit again, coming as soon as visitor hours began. Komachi excitedly recounted her Saturday with Yuigahama and Yukino in greater detail and my parents did a lot of catching up with me, essentially asking what I'd been up to for the past few months. We sat together chatting as a family for a few hours and enjoyed each other's company. We were all happy that we got to enjoy time together as a family although we were also weary of the circumstances that forced us together. I knew that my parents felt pretty guilty since they knew deep down that they probably wouldn't have opted to spend more time with Komachi and I had I not been diagnosed with brain cancer. On the same note, they were also busy, hard-working people. It wasn't that they didn't care about their children. If they didn't care, they wouldn't have taken the time off to be with me in the first place. They were your standard, dutiful Japanese citizens and they carried the values of hard work and dedication at heart. I personally didn't care about the circumstances surrounding their decision. I was glad that I would get to enjoy spending time with them either way.

When Yukino visited, we spent quite a bit of time sitting in silence and enjoying the calm that came with it. However, we did discuss the issue of Haruno-san's statement to find that neither Haruno-san nor either of her parents had contacted Yukino since Saturday. Obviously, Yukino was a bit nervous about this, and I was to an extent as well. The future of our relationship was effectively sitting in limbo for the time being and the only thing we could do was wait until something happened. Still, we both knew and acknowledged that panicking and contemplating the what-ifs was a bad idea and stuck to talking about other matters for the time being. From potential club requests to future study sessions to hopeful banter about future dates that we might enjoy, we talked until Yukino looked at her phone and the two of us realized that time had flown by much quicker than we had anticipated.

Monday was kind of a Charlie Foxtrot mix-up despite the relaxed atmosphere. I had a couple of post-operational CT scans taken, which meant that I was up and about for a little while as I moved throughout the hospital to get from place to place. I was also visited by a few of my schoolmates whom Hiratsuka-sensei had volunteered to take to see me. Isshiki, Totsuka, Zaimokuza, and Kawa-something (I forgot what her name was exactly; Kawasaki I think it was) all came to my room in the afternoon. They'd all had some time to process Hiratsuka-sensei's announcement on Friday, but were all obviously still reacting to it to an extent when they came to visit.

Totsuka was the first to greet me, waving and saying "Hello" as he came in. Isshiki followed behind him, smiling and doing the same. Totsuka and Isshiki pulled up a couple chairs while Zaimokuza, Hiratsuka-sensei and Kawasaki remained standing. Isshiki spoke up softly.

"Senpai, how are you feeling?" she asked, making a weak smile.

"I'm fine I guess. It's been kind of a wild ride, but I'm alive for now." I replied, returning the smile.

"Ahh, it's good to hear you're okay. You know, it's only been a few days since you were last at school, but we've missed you a lot, Senpai. I've missed you."

"I'll be back soon. I get out of the hospital on Thursday and the doctors told me that if I rest up over the weekend, I should be able to go to school next Monday. You'll see me around again soon enough."

I half-expected Isshiki to turn away and accuse me of hitting on her, but she simply responded by nodding her head and continuing to smile. I probably should've known that, but part of me was so used to her casual rebuffs that I almost thought I would get one today. I actually kind of wished she'd joke around with me, but given how she'd just heard about my condition within the past few days, there's almost no way she'd do such a thing. However, it was good to see her again and I was content with merely having a chat. Zaimokuza was the next to speak up, lightening the mood with a rather oddly worded question.

"My comrade in arms, how art thou? I've heard many tales about your woes and have come to wish you luck in-"

"That's enough." Snapped Hiratsuka-sensei, quickly becoming irritated with Zaimokuza.

I cracked up a bit, as I hadn't talked to Zaimokuza in a while and was not surprised to see that he hadn't changed a whole lot since the last time we spoke. In a bout of weird, misplaced nostalgia, I actually missed hearing his chuunibyou-tainted greetings. Shaking his head a little, Zakimokuza went on.

"No, but in all seriousness, it'll be good to have you back next week." He said, smiling a bit as he did so. Everyone around him nodded and Zaimokuza reached in his bag until he produced a USB drive. Placing the USB drive on the table next to me, he continued in an excited fashion.

"Can't forget this, though! New novel material hot off the press! It's my newest edition, titled 'Psycho Crusher'! I think you'll like it!"

Glancing at Zaimokuza and then looking down, I asked Zaimokuza a small question in return.

"Uhh, isn't that the name of a move from Street Fighter?"

Zaimokuza's eyes widened as he looked at me and then at the others around him. For the most part, everyone's expressions remained the same, but I noticed Hiratsuka-sensei looking at him rather unimpressed. Chuckling, I looked over at the USB drive and shook my head. The rest of the visit was rather pleasant and relaxed. We all talked about upcoming school events and I answered a bunch of questions that everyone had about my operation. Totsuka was quiet for the most part, although he did express a little bit of sadness upon hearing about my condition and was clearly happy to know that I would be back at school in a relatively short amount of time. Kawasaki was also quiet for a majority of the visit although I knew that she felt similarly to the others. After a while, Hiratsuka-sensei glanced at the time and determined that it was getting late and was time to get everyone on the road. Everyone said their goodbyes and walked out the door.

I spent the rest of Monday resting and thinking about my classmates who'd just stopped by. Although a little awkward at first, seeing a bunch of familiar faces come by and say hello was a nice touch. There was almost no way in hell I was going to touch that drab filth that Zaimokuza produced, but having him present it to me in the fashion that he did was distractingly pleasant. Having everyone there with me was almost like being at school again, this time in a more enjoyable manner than usual.

Tuesday was a bit more eventful than the day before. After taking my meds in the morning along with my breakfast, Nurse Tokei-san mentioned that my oncologist was coming to see me. Curious as to what she was going to tell me, I waited patiently until she arrived. Slightly bowing as she came in, my oncologist greeted me and promptly took a seat.

"Hello, Hikigaya-san. Been resting up these past couple of days?" she asked, setting down her bag.

"Yes. I feel fairly well-rested." I replied, answering as honestly as I could.

My oncologist reached into her bag, pulling out a small portfolio. Flipping through what she had in the folder, she plucked out a few papers and straightened them out on her lap.

"Good to hear. I've taken a look at your post-operational CT scan and it appears that your operation was a massive success." She said, pulling out one of the sheets of paper and placing it in front of me.

"About 99.5% of the tumor was removed and according to your surgeon, there was no notable loss in function. This is good news, as it isn't uncommon to hear of patients having to go to occupational therapy after their surgery to relearn how to read, write, talk, etc. You came out perfectly fine, though, which makes things considerably less complicated moving forward. Your surgeon also told me that you've been cleared to go back to school as of next Monday. Starting then, you'll begin your treatment. Any questions before I go on?"

I shook my head and waited for her to continue.

"Right. Your treatment plan, as I've discussed with you before, will begin with daily radiation therapy for about a month. After you've completed your radiation therapy and we've had a look to make sure that we've covered almost all the little nooks and crannies in your brain, we'll switch you to daily doses of Temozolomide, which is the type of oral chemotherapy you'll be given. Unlike radiation, however, you'll be able to fulfill this portion of your treatment by simply taking a pill every day at home. It's not exactly certain where we'll go from here, but the main goal is to eliminate any pockets of cancer that are still lingering around. Once they've been taken care of, the focus will shift to regular check-ups where we'll do our best to make sure that it doesn't come back. Now this brings me to the main reason I came here today, which is to schedule your radiation treatment. Sobu High gets out of school at around 3 PM if I remember correctly, but if I recall what your mother told me, you're also involved in some sort of club activities after school. Am I right on this?"

"Yes." I responded simply.

"Very well. The radiation treatment center's hours are from 8 til' 7 every day. The treatment itself only takes a few minutes and we have an opening from 5 PM to 5:30 PM on every week day. Would you like me to book you for those time slots?" she asked, shuffling her papers again until she pulled out what looked like a gridded planner.

"Yes." I responded again, this time very happy to hear that I'd still be able to make it to most of club period.

My oncologist took out a pen and scribbled on the piece of paper that she had in her lap. Looking up at me again, she continued as she began to brief me through the specifics of my radiation treatment plan. As she walked me through the procedure, she flipped through her portfolio again until she pulled out a small pamphlet similar to the one I'd received on my last visit to her office.

"…might feel nausea, dryness of the mouth, soreness in your gums, and other mild side effects that could cause discomfort. Typically these show up towards the latter half of treatment although they can last a little while after treatment is over. In the end, each patient responds differently to treatment and the only way we'll know for sure how you'll react is by having you begin. Well, that's about all I had to tell you, Hikigaya-san. Your prognosis is still uncertain, but things are starting to look up for you. Any questions before I head out?"

"Not really."

"Alright, then. I'll see you on Monday, Hikigaya-san."

With that, my oncologist handed me the pamphlet that she was holding and left, scurrying back to her office on the other side of the medical plaza. As I looked at the radiation therapy pamphlet I was given, I noticed that everything written inside had just been covered within the past fifteen minutes or so. Placing the pamphlet on the table next to Yuigahama's card and Zaimokuza's USB stick, I laid back in bed and napped for a bit. When I woke up, I looked out the window and saw that it was now early evening.

 _Woah. Time flies._ I thought to myself, rubbing my eyes and checking the clock, which read that it was now 5:30 PM.

Nurse Tokei-san came back in the room, telling me that I had another visitor coming. Wondering who it was, I sat up a little. Hiratsuka-sensei didn't tell me that she'd be taking any more visitors today and everyone else was just here yesterday. Yawning and watching the sun set, I waited until I heard a pair of footsteps approach the door. Before I turned, I heard an all-too familiar voice greet me with an overly polite tone.

"Ahh, Hikitani-kun. How are you doing?" the voice asked.

Turning, I saw Hayama standing at the doorway, in his school uniform and unaccompanied. Seeing as he remained at the doorway, I gestured for him to come in and told him that he could sit down.

"Oh, Hayama-kun. Come in. There are a couple of chairs if you want to sit down. Make yourself at home." I told him, still somewhat groggy from my nap earlier.

As I regained my senses, I became more aware of who was sitting in front of me and almost felt like rolling my eyes. Hayama wasn't an old, close friend by any means and his visit was more than likely just an observance of formality. I was almost surprised that he didn't bring a few people from the soccer club with him. Still, he took the time to come here on his own volition and respecting that, I refrained from acting irritated.

"So, Hikitani-kun. Hiratsuka-sensei made an announcement on Friday to our homeroom class. She told us a little bit about your ordeal. How've you been since then?" Hayama asked, straightening his face a bit and leaning slightly in his chair. I looked up a little and then opened my mouth to respond.

"It's been kind of a roller coaster. Lots of doctor's appointments, drama, medication, and some other stuff. If you ask me, I say it's been one big blur." I said, recalling the wild pace of the last couple of weeks.

"Yeah, I can imagine. You doing a little better now, or does it still feel like a blur to you?"

"I honestly couldn't tell you. I'm doing better than I was at the start. My oncologist visited me earlier today telling me that I'd be starting up treatment soon and that things were looking up, so I guess I have that going for me."

"Mhm."

Hayama nodded acquiescently and smiled a little. We sat in silence for a couple moments, looking out the window and enjoying the scenery. Hayama was probably a little worn out from soccer practice and I was definitely still feeling a little drowsy from oversleeping, so neither of us felt any bit of urgency or tension. To be honest, I didn't mind too much. Hayama was probably here to make a little small talk and leave, which was just fine in my book. Although I felt that I'd been doing nothing but making small talk for the past couple days, it was still relaxing regardless who I was speaking to. Sure, I answered the same questions, but in doing so, I didn't really have to think much. I could laze around and relax while talking to someone else, which was both efficient and convenient. Hayama turned his head from the window and faced me again.

"So how has your family taken to hearing about your illness?" he asked, somewhat cautious about how he went about his question.

"Well, as you might imagine, it was kind of a shock to everyone at first. Nobody really expected it since the only sign that gave it away was an onset of migraines that I had over the summer. I guess you could say they took it a lot harder than I did. I don't know. They haven't been all sad and somber since the week after the diagnosis was announced, so that's good."

"Ahh, I see."

"It kind of brought us closer together as a family, so that's a little bit of a silver lining."

Hayama nodded again, moving his head up and down in a controlled fashion. I yawned a little, extending the tips of my fingers as I did so. A bit more pensive, Hayama spoke up again as if he were afraid of how I would react to his next question.

"How… Well, I mean to start, this has obviously been a giant roller coaster for you. How have you reacted to this whole thing? It's gotta be pretty rough hearing grave news like what you were given."

I paused a bit, bringing my hand to my chin to think. This kind of question was to be expected from Hayama. He wasn't being nosy or anything. He was just curious about how this whole situation was affecting me on a personal level. Still, I was slightly taken aback and had to think before responding. I didn't feel like being too thorough, but even if I was, there wouldn't really be any negative consequences. No harm, no foul. Besides, I wasn't terribly worried about what Hayama had to think and it felt kind of relieving to talk about issues like the one he was asking about, since being able to talk about them meant that I was somewhat in control of them. Even so, I still kind of had my guard up for some reason and all I really wanted was to relax.

"Hmm… Well, I already told you that it all kind of felt like a blur. Do you wanna hear the long version or the short version?" I asked, wondering how Hayama would respond or if he would even respond at all.

"Whatever you feel most comfortable with." He stated. I sighed, shrugged my shoulders, and began.

"Alright. I guess I'll go halfway in between. Short story, it's been a ride. Long story, is, well… A bit longer. The whole thing caught me off guard at first since my general doctor only had me screened for cancer as a precaution for an unlikely possibility. After the initial diagnosis, I didn't really know what to do or think. I spaced out a lot and spent a lot of time frantically pondering nothing at all. That wore off a little while after, though. If there's one thing I've definitely noticed since I first found out… I'd say that my priorities have shifted. But, I mean, that's to be expected of someone in my shoes, right?"

"I suppose. I guess it depends on who we're talking about, but I get what you mean."

"Mhm. A lot of things you used to worry about no longer really matter anymore. Cram sessions, social status, future aspirations, you get the picture. Once those get taken out of the fold, all you're really left to think about is what you're going to do with the time you have left. I guess you could say it's scary for some, but really, once you're left with a lot of time to think about it, your main goal becomes to make sense of it all. Kind of weird how it works, you know."

Hayama gave an inquisitive look, nodding his head up and down again. Realizing that I'd chosen to give the long version, I decided to finish what I was saying.

"It's kind of like that saying about stopping to smell the roses, except this time you've been shoved into the rosebush, thorns and all. The experience sucks quite a bit, but there's still an upside to it if you choose to view it that way. Like I said, it's weird how it works."

Pondering what I just told him, Hayama looked down and away at the floor. For a while, he just sat there continuing to nod his head but after a minute or so, his demeanor changed a little and he locked himself in a meditative trance. For a few moments, we found ourselves sitting in silence again. Suddenly, he raised his head and looked up again, a curious look on his face. Sighing, he spoke.

"So, Hikitani-kun. I heard that you and Yukinoshita-san are going steady for the time being." He said, smiling softly.

"Mhm..." I replied cautiously, not sure where Hayama was going with this statement.

"I wish you two the best."

With that, me and Hayama looked at each other affirmatively and smiled a little, the mild tension that just appeared having been quelled for the most part. Hayama looked down at the ground pensively again as if he had something he wanted to say but could not find the right words for. Glancing back at me, he slightly shook his head and leaned back as if reminiscing old times. After taking a deep breath, he spoke up again.

"You know, I can't help but think… And I know I talked to you about this before… But, if you had grown up with me and Yukinoshita-san, I can't help but think about how things would've been different for all of us."

After saying this, Hayama turned his head and looked out the window, more than likely focusing on the swaying cherry blossom trees outside. I wasn't exactly sure what to think or how to react since I didn't expect Hayama to bring this up. In fact, I was surprised that he hadn't left already considering that he'd already been here for longer than a few minutes. Something about him bringing up this topic of discussion both irked me and made me want to hear what he had to say next. Patiently waiting, I leaned back a little in bed and straightened the pillows. Hayama slowly looked back and continued.

"I know we're complete opposites in almost every regard, but I feel that that would've helped both of us find a sense of balance had we grown up together. I can't say for sure whether we would've been friends, but I know we could've helped each other and learned a lot from one another. We think on two completely different levels, but in a sense I feel that's probably what I needed most growing up. I always thought of things in terms of objectives and deadlines since I was raised to do so, but there were objectives that I wasn't able to fulfill. Despite what most of my peers might think of me or tell you about me, there are people who I failed. You know that, though."

I furrowed my brow, processing what Hayama just laid out. When he talked about failing people, there was really only one person he could've been referring to in particular. That was given away the moment he congratulating me on forming a relationship with her. It was made even clearer when he mentioned his younger days growing up with her. Still, I wasn't sure why he thought I could've made much of a difference. He was referring to events that took place years ago, when all of us were younger and different from how we are now, for better or worse. Sighing, I replied.

"I don't think it would've worked out the way you're thinking. You're talking about past events from years ago. We were all different back then and it's unlikely that I would've been able to provide you the balance you mention. Even if we were friends back then, we probably would've just grown up and been sports buddies together. Sure, that would've changed things for me drastically, but what about everyone else? Saying that we would've grown up together as friends may seem like a stretch, but compared to that, what would you have to say about everything else you just mentioned? It's just not possible to know for sure."

Hayama held a perplexed look on his face as he thought about what I said. Moments later, he began to nod, a sad smile forming on his face.

"I suppose you're right, although I can't help but wonder…" he said, tilting his head and looking out the window again.

I knew he wasn't completely getting me, so I was going to have to clarify a bit. Searching for the right words to say, I also looked out the window and watched the leaves fall from the trees. After a brief moment, a lightbulb switch flicked on. I continued.

"Foresight almost always seems like blindness and hindsight is almost always 20/20. Sometimes our hindsight is so clear that we tend to imagine entirely different pasts that might've been influenced by one single factor or another. I'll be the first to tell you this. It's all I did for a long time and it made me very bitter. I'm not going to bullshit you and tell you that everything happens for a reason. I mean, try telling me that I'm in the position that I'm in now for a good reason. I'll probably laugh if you do. Point is, though… We just accept things for what they are and move forward. What goes up must go down. However, and this is something we both probably struggle with… Accepting things for what they are doesn't mean being passive and complacent about learning from our pasts and present. If anything, it means the opposite. It's impossible to accept things for what they are if we keep wandering in the dark and making the same mistakes over and over. Instead, we focus on what we have in front of us today and start from there."

Hayama looked at me and nodded again, this time in a fashion that gave away that it wasn't a calculated gesture. Whatever just clicked in my mind a minute ago was now clicking in his. With the face of a person who looked like he just had a massive revelation, he continued to nod. Satisfied with what he heard, he spoke up again.

"You know, Hikitani-kun… I've spent my entire life being guided by some very reputable people. Every single tip I've been given has been solid advice. But, you wanna know something? I never learned anything worth remembering until I heard what you just told me." He said sincerely.

I did a double-take, unsure if I heard Hayama correctly. Lifting his head a little, he looked back at me and continued.

"I don't know how you handle all of this while still managing to be calm. Hell, I know if I was faced with the same news as you, I'd be devastated. I'd disappear for days at a time and nobody would hear from me. I wouldn't be able to think straight or tell right from left or up from down. But you…"

Alright, alright. I got the compliment, but this was beginning to become a little overbearing. Shrugging my shoulders a little, I responded.

"It's because I never had as much to lose as you." I said quickly, but earnestly.

"It's not just that. I wish I had your perseverance and your resolve. You're right in that it's impossible to know whether or not I would've been able to learn anything from you in the past, but I know that I learned something valuable from you today."

After saying that, Hayama folded his arms and looked out the window again. Unsure what to say, I followed suit, noticing that it was now considerably darker than when Hayama first arrived. After a few minutes passed, Hayama looked at the clock on the wall and stood up. Looking at me, he spoke up again.

"It's getting late and I have to go. I was here a lot longer than I thought. Still, I'm glad I was. It was good speaking to you, Hikigaya-san. It really was. I mean it." He said, smiling proudly.

Surprised that he called me by my actual name, I nodded and replied in kind. After thanking Hayama for his time, I watched as he left the room. My mind swirled as I recounted what both of us said while we talked. I was definitely not expecting his visit to be anything like it was. However, after our conversation, I felt a little more at peace than I had before. I'm not going to deny that I felt a little closer to Hayama as a person, but what I was feeling the most at the moment was something else. Our talk definitely felt cathartic for the both of us, but for me I knew that it was something more personal. When we talked about our pasts and I thought about what Hayama proposed regarding us growing up together, something began to make sense to me. It wasn't that I made sense of events from my past. It was that I was able to put things into perspective and accept that not everything was made to make sense. I would probably never be able to answer why I was initially treated like I was as a youngster and I would probably never fully trace back to "where things went wrong" so to speak. However, I was okay with that. This was a step in the right direction.

I spent the rest of my Tuesday evening relaxing and pondering my talk with Hayama. Aside from Nurse Tokei-san coming in every now and then, the room was calm and peaceful. The ward intercom was playing music from a smooth jazz/fusion radio station and I could hear Uyama Hiroto's "One Dream" emanating from down the hall. As the evening wound down into night, I spent some time amusedly looking at the card Yuigahama made for me and looking out the window. Nurse Tokei-san came by for her nightly check-up and I quickly fell asleep once again.

Wednesday started off the same as every other day I'd been here in the ICU with breakfast, meds, and a visit from Yukino, who stopped by somewhat early to chat briefly before she took off to school. Oddly enough, we spent most of the short time she was there resting and simply enjoying each other's company. However, Yukino did mention that Haruno-san had contacted her on Tuesday, telling her that she'd informed both of her parents of my condition during the family banquet. Yukino didn't mention anything about Haruno-san talking about our relationship, so whether or not either or her parents knew about that in particular was still a mystery. Neither of Yukino's parents had contacted her, so she was also left in the dark regarding this matter. After bidding her farewell, I spent a majority of the day spacing out and thinking about the last few days and all the people who came by to visit. I honestly kind of expected my stay at the hospital to be similar to when my leg was healing, with almost no visitors. However, I'd been visited by a good dozen people who all took a good portion of their time to express their support for me. Normally I'd just write it off and ignore the fact, but with the life they brought, I couldn't help but feel a little happy that they came. I was still processing the cascade of things that had taken place, from everyone who came by to visit me to my upcoming treatment schedule to the situation with Yukino's parents. Saying that I had ample time to think about everything was an understatement, but I was still taking it all in. I felt a mixture of feelings from happiness to ambivalence to curiosity, yet somehow I didn't feel anxious.

Hiratsuka-sensei dropped by after school to hand me a list of work assignments that she had given the class during the week. We chatted a little while before she left to go home, saying that she had a mound of papers to grade. My parents stopped by with Komachi as Hiratsuka-sensei left, greeting her as they came in. We chatted and enjoyed the afternoon. Komachi brought me some sweet snacks, but unfortunately had to save them for later since she wasn't allowed to leave any food while I was still in recovery. After about an hour or so, they took Komachi home and I rested a little. Shortly after, I ate dinner and was about to reread the pamphlet that my oncologist left me when Nurse Tokei-san came in and told me that I had another visitor coming. Curiously looking at the clock, I noticed that it was 7:30 PM and wondered who would visit me at such a late time in the evening.

 _Komachi, Mom, and Dad were just here not too long ago. Hiratsuka-sensei came by herself and didn't bring anyone else with her today. Yukino was here just this morning. Who could be visiting at this hour? Yuigahama? Another one of my classmates?_

Trying to imagine who would visit at this time in the evening, I heard a couple pairs of footsteps coming from the hallway. I listened as I noticed an unfamiliar man speaking to Nurse Tokei-san, asking if he had the right room.

"You said Hikigaya-san is in Room 137?" He asked, his voice growing closer.

"Yes, Room 137 is right here."

"Ahh, thank you very much."

With that, Nurse Tokei-san ushered the man into the room with a friendly gesture. As she stepped out, the man came in, bowing slightly. He was tall, well-built, and seemed to carry himself with a large amount of dignity. He was wearing a black suit with a burgundy bowtie and a white dress shirt underneath. From the sound of his footsteps, he seemed to be wearing loafers, and nice ones at that. He had a gold watch on his left wrist and had a pair of aviator sunglasses in his suit pocket. Everything about this man screamed that he was important and as I scanned his face, I noticed something strangely familiar. I hadn't seen this man before in my life, but I felt that I knew him in some way. As I was putting the pieces together, he stopped in front of me, offering his hand and introducing himself.

"Hello, Hikigaya-san. I don't think we've ever met before. I'm Hiro Yukinoshita. I've heard quite a bit about you from my daughter, Haruno. Nice to meet you." He said as I shook his hand.

Nodding, I felt a simultaneous wave of relief and nervousness wash over me. This was Yukino's father: Chiba Diet Representative and proud philanthropist of Chiba's largest oncology clinic. The man himself was now sitting in front of me, greeting me and shaking my hand. I was both excited and nervous about meeting him since he was such a prominent figure and also happened to be the father of the girl I was currently in a relationship with. Taking a deep breath, I responded.

"Nice to meet you, Yukinoshita-san." I said, bowing my head slightly. Yukino's father cleared his throat and somewhat excitedly opened up.

"So, I hear that you're club mates with my daughter, Yukino. I know the name was mentioned to me once or twice before, but if I'm right it's called the 'Volunteer Club'?" He asked, scratching his chin a little.

"Ahh, it's called the 'Service Club'. Same idea, though. People come to us with things they need help with and we assist them. It's kind of like community service in a way." I replied, briefly trying to find a way to describe the Service Club.

"Oh, okay. I see. I'm glad your school has that kind of club. It's a good way for people to get to know each other by helping one another. It helps build long-lasting friendships while instilling important values. I know Yukino would benefit from that. How did you find the club?"

I bristled slightly at the question, thinking about the circumstances under which I joined the Service Club. Sighing a little, I responded.

"Well, here's the thing. I didn't actually find the club. I was, uhh… mandatorily placed into it during my first year. I was actually opposed to joining it at first since I thought it would be a waste of time, but it's proven to be anything but. I've made a few friends and acquaintances since I was placed in it and now that I've been a member for a little over a couple years, I'm glad to be a part of it." I answered truthfully, nodding my head a little. Yukino's father chuckled and patted the side of his seat a little.

"Forced to join in your very first year? Harsh. But you're happy to be a member now?" He asked.

"Yes, very much so." I said simply.

"Must mean that the club is doing its job, ehh? Well, in any case, it's good to hear that the Service Club has left a positive impact on you." Yukino's father said with a satisfied look on his face. He paused a little and squinted slightly as he looked at me. Taking a long, deep breath, he spoke up again.

"Anyways, I came here to speak to you tonight because my other daughter, Haruno, told me a bit about the challenges that you're facing right now. It hit me close to the heart and I thought I'd come and show my support." He said, now sincere and well-composed. "If I recall correctly, you were diagnosed with a Glioblastoma?"

"Yes." I answered affirmatively. Yukino's father shook his head slightly and sighed deeply. He continued.

"Unfortunately I'm all too familiar with that kind of cancer. You see, Noboru Sato, one of my best friends growing up as a child who was also my closest associate when I started my political career was diagnosed with the exact same type of brain tumor about 11 years back. I was there for him as he went through his ups and downs and I shared in many of his highest and lowest moments. When he passed away a year and a half later, I was a changed man. I started a foundation in his name to support the cause of helping those who go through the same plight as he did. When I heard that you were diagnosed with the same ailment that he was, the first thing I did was rearrange my meeting schedule so I could come visit you. I'm terribly sorry to hear that you have to endure such a farce."

I sat quietly for a moment, pondering what Yukino's father just said. I'd heard about his philanthropic involvements before, but hearing about it from the man himself was refreshing and eye-opening. Smiling a little, I responded.

"Well, thank you for visiting me. It was quite considerate of you to make time to come see me. I appreciate it." I said respectfully and earnestly. Yukino's father replied with a certain enthusiasm in his voice.

"Of course. Like I mentioned earlier, this is something that hits close to my heart. Making time to visit you was the least I could I do. Anyhow, you just got through your tumor extraction operation, so you were probably diagnosed a little while back. How long ago did you find out?"

"The original diagnosis was made two weeks ago, although the symptoms leading up to the visit that led to the diagnosis came up towards the end of summer break. It's been quite a ride since then."

"I can imagine. You're in high school, too. You must've had quite a bit on your mind for the past couple weeks. I mean, you've gone through some pretty drastic changes. How've you been holding up?"

"I was kind of all over the place at first, but since I've had some time to catch my breath and think, everything's straightened out for the most part."

Yukino's father nodded and patted me on the shoulder. There was a brief moment of silence between us. I leaned back a little, waiting for Yukino's father to continue. He folded his hands and went on.

"That's good. I'm glad to hear that you've stabilized your mind a bit. Glioblastomas are particularly nasty in that everything about them catches you by surprise. It's easy to feel overwhelmed and shut down completely."

I nodded at that last part, thinking back to how I felt during my initial visit to the oncology clinic. Overwhelming was a bit of an understatement of how the initial news felt and my response was to think and feel nothing. Considering that my referral to the clinic was on the "off-chance" that I might have some sort of brain tumor, hearing the initial diagnosis definitely did take me by surprise. Curious as to what kind of insight Yukino's father had on my condition, I looked down a little, thinking of what to ask him. I didn't want to hit on anything too personal or offend him, but I was interested in what initially drove him to donate tens of millions of Yen to the oncology clinic. To put in simple terms, I wanted to know what sparked his passion in that sense. I was also interested in hearing a little insight on what to expect in the near future.

"Pardon me for asking, but what was Noboru-san's experience like?" I asked, tilting my head a little. Yukino's father sighed a little and paused before responding.

"Well, Sato-kun's diagnosis was a bit more foreseeable than yours. He was in his late thirties, so the symptoms were more pronounced. Initially, it started with small bouts of amnesia like forgetting where he parked his car and not remembering what he had for dinner the night before, but it got progressively worse and worse until he almost forgot who his wife was one night after work. After getting himself checked out, he was diagnosed with a Class 4 Glioblastoma. The news, as you can imagine, was a shock to all of us."

Yukino's father leaned back and put his hand to his chin again and then quickly tapped his other hand, seeming to have remembered what he was going to say next.

"Ahh, but he was still able to work. I remember him coming to work and leaving during his lunch break to visit the oncology clinic to have his radiation treatment done from time to time. After his tumor removal operation, his symptoms died down quite a bit and things more or less returned to normal for him. We still worked together, laughed together, went on fishing trips together… Aside from his regular treatment schedule, it almost seemed like nothing was wrong. He seemed to be even more joyful of a man than he was before. His cancer was in remission, he got a small promotion at work, and his wife even announced that she was pregnant. When he finally finished his standard treatment sessions, all the scans and tests came out negative and he was actually declared cancer-free. Of course, we were all thrilled to hear the news."

At this point, I could see a beaming smile on Yukino's father's face. Turning his head a little, he looked away and his smile soon faded. He took a deep, long breath and sighed sorrowfully. He almost seemed hesitant to go on, but looked back towards me and squinted a little before continuing.

"But, you see… A couple weeks after that, Sato-kun went back for a regular checkup and the CT scan detected a small notch in an inoperable area. His oncologist told him that he was all out of treatment options and estimated that he'd have about six weeks left to live. We were all devastated to hear. I helped him settle his finances and both my wife and I visited him every day until we got a phone call from his wife telling us that he'd had an aneurysm and died. It was a sudden ending, but there's one thing that I noticed before he passed that sticks with me to this day: even after he received the news that his days were narrowly numbered, his joy and happiness never burned out. He smiled until the very end and inspired me with his perseverance. I learned a lot from him in that regard. A lot of valuable life lessons.

"After the intensity of his treatment process began to wane and we were on a fishing trip, I asked him how he managed to feel so joyful despite being afflicted with his condition. He just shook his head and laughed. He said, 'Hiro-kun, there's something I've gotta tell you and you never would've guessed it before.' Of course, being the confused man that I was, I asked him what it was and he said that he pretended that every day he spent here on this Earth was his last. He said, 'When you realize that each day we spend above ground is its own day, you cherish each and every single day as its own. Sure, there might not be anything special about it, but viewing things like this gives each day a new flavor. Instead of getting out of bed to go to work and slave away another day, you're embracing a new set of possibilities and preparing yourself for a new journey.' I didn't really understand at first, but after I saw him taking advantage of his professional opportunities and working hard despite enduring fatigue from his treatment, I knew that he was telling the truth. He managed to get himself promoted to the position of Public Development Project Manager, where he met with and led entire committees of people who built roads, bridges, train lines, parking structures, and multi-story complexes. The man was truly something else."

Sitting straight up, I thought about what Yukino's father told me at a loss for words. I was taken aback by his friend's story and tried to imagine how a man who had been diagnosed with brain cancer could manage to work hard enough to get himself promoted at his workplace. I mean, I knew it was definitely possible, but the amount of sheer willpower it must've taken to push through the ever-so present adversity was almost unimaginable. It made my plight as a young person struggling to understand himself seem puny in comparison. Raising his hand and pointing a finger directly upward, Yukino's father went on.

"The biggest lessons I learned were from the words that were never spoken, though. They came from observation and observation alone. There were certain lessons that didn't need teaching. Sato-kun demonstrated that clearly. I'm not going to lie to you, Hikigaya-san. The road ahead of you is filled to the brim with uncertainty. Anything could happen or change at a moment's notice. I'm sure you know this, though."

I nodded, waiting for Yukino's father to continue.

"If there's one piece of advice that I could give you, one thing above all else that I learned from Sato-kun, it would be to take everything one step at a time. Don't get caught up in the moment and lose all foresight, but when you find yourself in a groove, let it show. Enjoy yourself. Embrace every day you're alive and healthy, because those are the best times you'll have. Every check-up you go to where you find that your condition has gotten better and there's positive news to go around, do something to celebrate, even if that something is small and modest. Every bit of good news that you receive is a victory to savor. Although life is short and sometimes very painful, it's much more satisfying when you view it through a bright lense."

Musing over what I had just been told, I looked out the window, nearly losing myself in thought as I stared at the street lamps illuminating the trees and park benches. I was never an optimistic person by any means and in the past I used to think of optimism as a waste of time. Small blessings were coincidences to be ignored and unfortunate circumstances were just inconveniences to be expected. Even now, I was still discombobulated and barely grasping for straws. However, Noboru-san's story was breathtaking to hear. Even one of Chiba's most accomplished politicians personally told me that he had learned an astonishing amount from him. I could feel something stirring in me as I contemplated what Yukino's father just said. I would probably never be as strong or persistent as Noboru-san, but hearing about him was inspiring. Here was a man who managed to accomplish incredibly difficult feats and fill everyone around him with joy despite having the same ailment that I had. Something in me clicked and I found myself filled with a newfound determination. After a few minutes of empty, yet filling silence, Yukino's father cleared his throat and spoke up again.

"Anyhow, I'm happy that I got the chance to share all this with you. It means a lot to me." He said, a radiant smile on his face and an authentic tone in his voice.

"Thank you for sharing. It was… rejuvenating." I replied, pausing briefly to think of the right word.

We spent the next several minutes conversing about the Service Club and different requests that we'd gotten. Yukino's father shook his head and chuckled as I told him about the roof incident and we exchanged some amusing ideas on how dodgy-sounding requests could be handled. Throughout the course of this entire conversation, I'd felt myself growing more and more comfortable with this man and at this point, I almost felt as if he were someone I'd known my entire life. Despite what I'd heard about politicians and their deceptive mannerisms, I felt that Yukino's father was a genuine, kind-hearted man with good intentions and strong passions. Glancing at his watch, he looked back at me and began to bring our long talk to a close.

"Well, it appears as if visiting hours are going to be over soon. I'd love to stay and chat all night, but I'm going to have to leave soon. It's been a pleasure, Hikigaya-san." He said, offering his hand again. Shaking his hand, I replied in kind.

"Likewise, Yukinoshita-san." I said, straightening up and bowing my head a little. Yukino's father looked like he was about to get up from his seat when he put his hand to his chin and turned to me again.

"Oh, that's right! I almost forgot! On Saturday, Haruno pulled me to the side and mentioned that you and Yukino are dating now." He said, a grin forming across his face. I froze a little, surprised and unsure how to respond. Returning the smile, I nodded my head slowly. Yukino's father laughed audibly and shook his head a little.

"Hahaha! There's no reason to get all nervous about it! It's fine! I'm happy to hear, actually. The fact that Yukino has opened up enough to start dating is a good sign. I've always wanted her to enjoy a normal teenage life and it seems that the Service Club has provided her the means to do so. Besides, I'm sure she'll take good care of you and be there for you when you need it most. She's a kind girl at heart." He said, his grin now a wide smile.

"I don't think my wife knows about this development yet, though. I can only imagine how she'd react hearing that her daughter's started dating. Mothers, you know how they react to this sort of thing. Normally I'd be the one fretting about, but you seem like a good kid. I know you two will be happy with one another."

I smiled in relief, happy to know that I had the blessing of Yukino's father. Looking at the clock, I saw that it was now 9:55 PM. Yukino's father got up from his seat and began walking towards the door.

"It was nice speaking with you, Hikigaya-san. I do hope to speak to you again in the future." He said, approaching the door frame.

"I enjoyed speaking with you as well." I replied.

"Have a good night, Hikigaya-san."

"You too, Yukinoshita-san."

With that, Yukino's father left and I laid back in bed, my head spinning once again. I was initially very nervous about this particular visit, but as the evening carried on and we went back and forth, Yukino's father began to seem more and more likeable. By the time he left, I felt relieved, rejuvenated, inspired, and enlightened all at the same time. While we spoke, I felt a certain resolve build up within me. I wanted to accomplish something with the time I had left, but I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted to do. It was infeasible to expect myself to achieve something on the scale of what Noboru-san achieved towards the end of his life, but I knew that I wanted to look back and be proud of myself when all was said and done.

 _Small steps, I suppose. Small steps. We start there._ I thought to myself as I drifted off.

 **Chapter 10 A/N:**

 **Hey everyone! Bronze V Lee Sin here again! I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! For those who wanted to see Tsurumi Rumi, I apologize. I agree that there's a lot of potential for heart-felt dialogue between these two, especially with the premise of this story, but it simply wouldn't fit right now. Tsurumi simply wouldn't have any means of finding out about Hachiman's condition and having her show up out of the blue would be a bit confusing and disorienting. She may make an appearance later on, though I'm debating how I should approach it if I do fit her in. I do have the rest of the story laid out and there are a few places I could put her in, so her making an appearance is definitely a possibility. I'm also planning on writing in Sagami and Yumiko for those who asked, but their interactions with Hachiman will come later on at school (spoiler alert: Hachiman goes back to school in the next few chapters). Interactions with other characters (Iroha, Kawasaki, and Totsuka) will also feel much more complete since they were hardly even mentioned in their hospital visit aside from greeting Hachiman. I also just now noticed that I gave the head orderly of the recovery ward a name but didn't bother to provide one for Hachiman's oncologist, who is a much more prominent figure in the story. I apologize for this. In response to scarrufles, thanks for the feedback! I know I dropped the ball with Chapter 4 and a lot of readers were turned away at that point. At the time, I didn't have a solid idea of where I wanted to go with the story. I had the premise in mind and I had a list of things that I wanted to accomplish but there was no rhyme or reason to how I went about that. Since then, I've spent quite a bit of time reorganizing my writing and I have a much better idea of how I'm going to carry on from here. As far as "sticking to the outline" is concerned, I'm not trying to make this story time-bound or limited in its future scope. I have a list of future events that I want to take place, but obviously my approach to them is going to change as I go. You're right in that emotional moments have to be nurtured and built up towards in order to have an impact, and one of my main goals of the story is to make that happen. I've learned that being both organized and flexible as a writer is very important to avoiding WTF moments like Chapter 4 or having the story itself suffer from a boring, rigid structure. That being said, I'm still hard at work and very much active in the process of writing this story and I'm going to see it to its end. Bronze V Lee Sin out! Hikuu!**


	12. Chapter 11: Back in the Swing of Things

Chapter 11: Back in the Swing of Things

Stretching my arms and yawning, I stepped off my bike. I placed it by the bike rack, chaining it and clicking the lock. Looking around, I could see that the sun was still rising and that there was hardly anyone in sight. I could hear birds chirping in the distance, flying about carelessly as they went about their daily rituals. It was just another morning at school, but something about this particular morning felt different from all the other mornings I'd shown up at school. For starters, I was here earlier than usual, but that only begged the question of why I was here early to begin with. To be honest, I couldn't put a finger on it. When I woke up this morning, I actually got up when my first alarm went off and readied myself unusually fast before taking off to school. For some reason, I actually felt well-rested and ready for the day despite having woken up early. It probably had something to do with the fact that I spent all weekend lounging around and relaxing, but even that was kind of a stretch. Thinking over the past few days, I began to walk towards the school building.

I was released from the recovery ward on Thursday morning. After Nurse Tokei-san did a final set of checks, I was cleared and allowed to go home. When I got home, the first thing I did was jump in bed and enjoy the feeling of not having to sleep in sheets that were washed in recycled water. I spent a majority of the weekend sleeping, watching TV with Komachi, and enjoying quality family time with all four of us around. It was a welcoming change of pace and for once, I felt like I was close with the people I was living with. On Saturday, Yukino came to visit and she spent the day lounging around with Komachi and I as we watched TV and waited for my parents to get home from work. After a while, Komachi slyly left Yukino and I alone in the front room and as she did, our conversation switched gears a little.

Sitting up a little more, I talked to Yukino about her father and the wisdom that he imparted to me when he visited me in the hospital. I told her how I felt relieved and refreshed after speaking with him and that his story about Noboru-san was inspiring. Yukino, although familiar with Noboru-san, had never actually heard the full story, so as I retold what her father told me, I got to see her initial reaction which was somewhat similar to mine. We were both very happy that her father came to visit me and we were even happier about the fact that he was pleased to hear about our relationship.

When my parents got home, Yukino helped Komachi and my mother cook dinner and all five of us ate around the same table, laughing and enjoying each other's company. In stark contrast to how I might have acted before, I actually lost myself in the moment, relishing the laughter and good times that we all shared around the table. If somebody would've asked me if I could see myself doing this a couple years ago, I would've immediately told that person that I'd sooner be caught dead. Funny, considering that death was now definitely a near-future possibility for me. Recently, something fundamental changed within me and I was actually acknowledging my emotions; first by opening up to Yukino about my feelings of despair and just a couple days ago by unabashedly having a good time. I was genuinely smiling, laughing, and expressing joy, a gesture that was previously alien to me. As I continued to walk towards the school building, I cracked a smirk, thinking back on the weekend.

 _I see. This is what he meant by embracing every day._ I thought to myself, placing my hands in my pockets as I took stride after stride. Walking into the school building, I saw Hiratsuka-sensei, who excitedly walked over to me and greeted me off the bat.

"Ahh, Hikigaya! You're back! Here rather early, I see." She said enthusiastically with a hint of amusement in her voice.

"Ahh, yeah. I got out of the hospital on Thursday. I pretty much slept in all weekend, but I'm back in any case." I replied.

"You feeling back up to speed yet?"

"I should be. I actually start radiation therapy today. I'll have to leave club early every day, but I'll still be around. I'm feeling a lot better than I was a couple weeks ago, though."

Hiratsuka-sensei nodded her head and turned her head down the hall, returning her gaze to me and speaking up again.

"That's good to hear. Everything going smoothly at home with your parents around?" she asked, smiling a little.

"Definitely. We've taken to eating dinner together every night as a family. It's sort of special since we never did this before. It's nice, though." I replied.

As we stood in the hall talking, other early students began to file in and the sun began to shine into the hallway, reflecting off the tile. I told Hiratsuka-sensei about some of the other visits that I received while in the hospital, most notably Hiro Yukinoshita's. After going back and forth for several more minutes, the hallway began to flood with students and our conversation came to a conclusion.

"Well, Hikigaya, it's good to see you back. If there's anything you need, just let me know as always. I have some prep-work to finish back in my office but I'll see you in a bit. Okay?"

"Right. See you in a bit."

"Mhm."

With that, Hiratsuka-sensei walked towards her office and I began heading towards homeroom. Students from other classes looked at me with strangely, some acting as if they'd seen a ghost and others merely looking the other way when I met their gazes. In the past, seeing such gestures would've forced me deep inside my own head and forced out my inner cynic, but this time around I felt nothing. I thought nothing. I simply didn't care. As terrifying as the uncertainty of my future was, it gave me a more clear perspective of what mattered and what didn't. I had bigger things to worry about after all.

I continued walking until I hit the door of my classroom, where I was met with a similar atmosphere. For a second, the morning commotion seemed to freeze and everyone turned in my direction. After a few seconds, the class turned into a series of smiles and curious faces. As I walked towards my seat like usual, a few people approached me and began to ask me questions. Most of them were along the lines of "How do you feel" and "Are you going to be alright", which I answered honestly and concisely. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Hayama walk over from his seat to ease the chatter.

"Guys, guys. It's his first day back. Go easy on him, alright?" I heard him say as he turned towards me. The questions died off a little and after a couple minutes, I turned to Hayama.

"Hey, thanks for that. I really don't mind people asking me questions, though. It doesn't make me nervous." I said, shrugging my shoulders a little.

"Alright. I hear you. So, how've you been lately?" Hayama asked somewhat sheepishly.

"Pretty good. I've been spending time with my family and resting up for the most part, so I feel a bit refreshed. Yukinoshita-san's father came to speak to me while I was in the recovery ward about a day after you visited. He told me about his old friend, Noboru-san and how much of an inspiration he was." I responded, smiling a bit as I thought back to last Wednesday night's conversation.

"Ah, Noboru Satou. The man who Yukinoshita-san named his cancer foundation after. I never knew much about him other than the fact that he and Yukinoshita-san were fast friends for a long time before he succumbed to brain cancer." Hayama said, nodding his head a little.

"From what Yukinoshita-san told me, he was a strong man who showed unbreakable character even in the face of death. He accomplished an incredible amount on his own while diagnosed and always kept a smile on his face, even when the end was nearing. I found his story to be both touching and inspiring." I replied.

"I see. I'm glad you were able to find solace in it." Hayama responded simply, gazing out the window and narrowing his eyes a little. "You know, I've been thinking… Ever since we talked when I came to visit you… What you said about accepting things as they are and moving forward really made me reconsider a few things. It made me think a lot about how things are going for me right now. I'm gonna be honest, it's been damn near perfect, but what I felt was far from it and I couldn't really understand why. Hearing you lay it out helped me understand a bit. You know, it's funny…"

"What is?" I asked curiously.

"You're probably the first person I ever talked to in an honest manner. I've been surrounded by people for my entire life, but I've always felt a disconnect between me and them. It was the same with you at first, but unlike everyone else, you were a strange case to me. You were able to act on your own even though you had less liberty to do so than I did and I never really did understand it. After talking with you last week, I understood. Being able to talk with you like I did gave me hope that I'd be able to form some sort of meaningful relationships with those around me. I know that we were just shooting words, but I'm glad we did."

As I looked over at Hayama, I realized that he was acting a little differently than he normally did. Normally the uptight leader of his clique, Hayama seemed to be a little more relaxed. It seemed as if he'd lowered his guard a little while talking to me, which was definitely a first. Something about seeing him like this was strange, although oddly pleasant. The expression on his face wasn't the plastered smile that he usually wore. It was a look of pondering and genuine curiosity.

As I turned my gaze away from Hayama, the classroom door opened again and Hiratsuka-sensei came in to start the day. The school day as a whole seemed to fly by with relative ease and classes seemed to drag on less than usual. The atmosphere also felt a little cheerier and warmer. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that I'd been given a decent amount of rest time. Maybe it had something to do with my new outlook on things. Either way, this was a change that I didn't mind. Before I knew it, I found myself walking towards the clubroom.

As I opened the sliding door, the first thing I noticed was that there were two faces in the clubroom happily looking as I stepped in.

"Yahallo!"

"Welcome back, Hachi-kun."

I smiled and closed the door behind me, walking towards the center table to set my bag down. As I did so, I turned towards the two faces in front of me and spoke up.

"So, Yuigahama-san, you're back in club now?" I asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Mhm! After all, what would you guys be able to do without me?" Yuigahama replied. Yukino and I looked at each other and all three of us burst out into laughter.

"It's good to have you back." I said, placing my bag underneath my feet.

"Likewise, Hikki!" responded Yuigahama enthusiastically.

"So, any new requests come in while I was out?" I asked, looking at Yuigahama. I already knew that we didn't have any from talking with Yukino, but I wanted to get everyone back in the swing of things so I asked anyways.

"Ahh, no. We should be getting quite a few pretty soon, though. Yukinon was talking to me about how prep for the big winter festival was going to be starting in a couple weeks and how crazy that could get. Do you think we should make a poster or something to let people know that we're open to help with it?" Yuigahama said.

Yukino looked at Yuigahama with a slight grimace on her face and shook her head.

"No point in doing that. The idea seems a little tacky since it's limited in scope, although I'm sure it would probably get the student council to get off their laurels and begin working for once. They'll come around when they need help regardless. I do like the idea of a general poster, however. It would definitely help raise awareness for the club and get some new requests coming our way." She replied.

"Oh, okay! Should we gather some materials to make them?" Yuigahama asked enthusiastically.

"While the idea is fairly solid, I think we should hold off for just a bit and wait out the next week or so to see if we do suddenly get flooded with requests. If we do, then we'll just handle things from there. If not, we can ask the Art Club if we can borrow some of the needed supplies and get to work." Yukino said, holding out a hand.

"Okie dokie then!"

Yukino got up from her seat and asked Yuigahama and I if we wanted any tea. We both accepted and Yukino began to brew a fresh pot on a side table while preparing her china tea set. Seeing this as good of an opportunity as any to discuss my treatment plan, I sat up a little and spoke.

"Ahh, Yuigahama… There's something I have to talk to you about. Don't worry, it's nothing horrific. It's just a minor inconvenience." I said.

"O-oh? What's that?" Yuigihama asked curiously.

"Well, I'm starting my radiation treatment today and from a while, I'm going to have to leave club half an hour early to get to the clinic on time. It shouldn't be much of an issue, but I thought I should let you know."

Yuigahama nodded her head in understanding.

"I see. Well, you gotta do what you gotta do. I hope everything goes well." She said with an earnest smile.

"Me too." I replied, smiling in return.

For a few minutes, the three of us went back and forth and I lost myself in thought. Although a lot had transpired in such little time, club more or less seemed to return to its normal state. All three of us were there, chatting and discussing club matters like we normally would, but I noticed a few differences. First and foremost, I felt a little more honest towards myself and the other two when we chatted. Instead of jumping to the superficial banter that we normally forced ourselves into, we were actually having a connected conversation. My light novel remained in its bag and for the first time, I knew that I was happy to be in this room surrounded with two people who I knew I held dear. I knew that in that moment, there was no place I would've rather been. I'd actually felt that way for quite some time, but kept it repressed because I was afraid to let it show. Now that my situation had drastically changed, the fear was no longer there.

On a more somber note, Yuigahama was a lot more distant than she was before. Although she was cheery as always, her personal connection with me seemed to be replaced with a connection to both Yukino and I. It was to be expected, but was slightly saddening nonetheless. She had a level of respect for Yukino and I and wanted to preserve our friendship in an honest manner and this was the best way to do it. She was also still hurt by being rejected for a second time. I couldn't blame her and at the same time, I felt a slight tinge of guilt.

 _Sometimes that's just the way things go. In actuality, though, this isn't bad at all. In fact, it's the best case scenario. It merely feels strange._ I thought to myself, sighing stoically.

My thoughts were interrupted by a set of loud footsteps pounding through the hallway and the clubroom door slamming open.

All three of us in the clubroom looked at each other with casual grins on our faces. We knew who was coming in before she even got to the door.

"And so it begins." Yukino commented, straightening her hair a little and folding her hands. Yuigahama and I merely nodded in agreement.

"Senpai, I need your help!" Iroha shouted as she barged in the clubroom.

"Oh dear…" Yuigahama said as she shook her head a little

"Isshiki-san, I understand that the school day is over, but let's use our inside voice." Yukino said in a calm, soothing manner.

"O-oh, I'm sorry. I need to speak with you guys about something. It's really urgent!" Iroha said, jumping up and down a little.

"A request?" asked Yuighama with her eyebrows raised.

"Yes, actually. It's really urgent!" Iroha replied.

"You just said that a few seconds ago." Yukino mentioned. "So, what are you requesting and what makes it so incredibly urgent?"

"Ah, well, as re-elected student council president, I'm in charge of organizing our school's winter festival and I need to get a head start. There's a lot to take care of, though, and I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to get the student council to help out. Could you guys fill in on anything I don't have taken care of?" Iroha said, batting her eyes a little at the end.

"Of course, Isshiki-san. It is our duty as members of the Service Club after all." Yukino replied. "What kind of work will you be needing help with?"

"Oh, well I haven't put together a team yet, but I have a feeling that I'm going to need a few people to help me with budgeting, number-crunching, and contacting sponsors." Iroha explained.

"We can assist you with the logistics. That won't be a problem." Yukino said, looking at Yuigahama and I.

"Yeah, we can help with that." I chimed in, almost uncharacteristically.

"Oh, okay. Thanks, guys! You're the best!" Iroha said, bowing slightly. "I'll let you know when I need help."

The three of us nodded in unison and with that, Iroha walked out and closed the door gently behind her. Almost as soon as Iroha closed the door behind her, we could hear another pair of footsteps coming from down the hall.

"My, my. Looks like we're really getting busy again." Yuigahama commented briefly.

The clubroom door slid open again and this time a different face came in. Yukino cleared her throat and spoke up.

"Oh, Yumiko-san. Do you have a request for the Service Club?" she asked plainly.

There was a moment of silence and the atmosphere in the room tensed a little. It was a well-known fact that Yukino and Yumiko quite literally clashed like fire and ice and the awkward silence sitting over us wasn't helping. Yumiko put her finger to her chin and cleared her throat.

"Well, err… It's not really a request or a favor. I just wanted some..." Yumiko trailed off as she thought of what to say next.

"Advice." She said after a few seconds.

"What kind of advice are you looking for exactly?" asked Yukino, tilting her head in curiosity. Yumiko bit her lip and looked down at the floor before glancing at us.

"Well, how do I say this? Err, there's this guy that I like and I want to confess my feelings to him but don't know how to do it." Yumiko responded, speaking rapidly towards the end. She immediately looked down at the floor and blushed a little.

Yukino, Yuigahama and I all looked at each other before turning towards Yumiko, who was still looking down at the floor. Looking at Yumiko, I almost chuckled a little. Acting timid and embarrassed was almost completely uncharacteristic of her, but considering that there was a crush involved, it wasn't all that surprising. Once again, an awkward silence fell over us as we continued to exchange glances and remain silent. Seeing as we weren't really getting anywhere, I decided to take the initiative and speak up.

"Do you want us to help you come up with a way to confess?" I asked somewhat cautiously. Yumiko looked up with wide, surprised eyes and nodded her head.

"Alright. Well I take it you haven't tried yet?" I continued. Yumiko shook her head and spoke up.

"No, I haven't gotten around to it. I want to, but I'm really scared. We're already somewhat close, but I haven't been able to take the next step. What if he rejects me? What if I destroy our friendship? What if he never wants to talk to me again?" She asked, gradually tensing up until her voice was shaking a little towards the end.

I took a deep breath and thought a little to myself.

 _Oh boy. This is going to be an interesting one. Since we've made it this far, we might as well continue._

With that, I looked up at Yumiko.

"Well, I'm not exactly a love guru, but there is a little I can help you with although it doesn't have a whole lot to do with the confession itself." I said, holding my hand out suggestively. Yumiko nodded and gestured for me to continue.

"I think you've made it pretty clear that you care about this guy a lot, both as a friend and a love interest. That's not a bad thing. However, you're sweating over this one a bit too much. The reason you're afraid to confess is because you're too busy thinking about the what-ifs. Naturally, considering the possibilities and outcomes of your confession will lead to a conundrum of 'what if I get rejected' and 'I don't want that' which will eventually lead to you being paralyzed in fear and unable to act. I take it that's kind of where you're at now." I said. Yumiko gently nodded her head.

"As a result, you've grown frustrated because you want him to know how you feel but have been unable to reach out to him. Am I still with you?" I asked in an attempt to see if I was still on the right track.

"Yeah, that's exactly it." Yumiko replied.

"I'm not going to lie, confessing as a guy is probably a bit different from confessing as a girl, but the nerve-wracking experience of holding in feelings is the same for both of us. Listen, you're probably not going to like everything I have to say, but I think it'll help more than arranging or putting together any confession will." I said. Sighing, I continued.

"When you tell us and yourself that you don't know how to confess, you're actually lying even if you're not aware. To clarify, you've probably ran over how you'd confess in your head countless times by now, am I correct?" I asked. For a moment, a large amount of tension filled the air and everyone in the room was dead silent, myself included.

"Yeah, I have." Yumiko responded slowly, breaking the silence. Sliglhtly relieved, I went on.

"See? You know almost exactly how you want to confess, but you're getting mixed up because you're afraid of getting rejected. Rejection is always a possibility and a fairly painful one at that. Speaking from experience, it's not fun to be rejected. However, torturing yourself mentally over the possibility of rejection is always worse than getting rejected. Rejection is painful, but the stress that you put yourself through contemplating it is worse and can last for a very long time. In the end, that torture isn't worth it. Not only does it damper your spirit and make you cynical and jaded, but it also wastes time. And believe me when I say that time is a very valuable thing. Once it passes, you don't get it back. I've come to appreciate that fact recently. Wasted time is always a greater loss than the humiliation or hurt feelings that come as a result of getting turned down. Unfortunately, it's usually not until after the matter of fact that you realize it. Not only that, but by not saying what you want to say, you automatically make the chance of having your feelings accepted zero. As the old saying goes, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. So, if you want my advice: go up to him and be direct. What's going to happen is going to happen and if you get rejected, you'll at least be able to take solace in the fact that you tried and move on. Life is too short to get hung up on things like this. Enjoy it to the fullest. Although it's sometimes very painful, it's much more satisfying when you view it through a bright lense. At least, that's what a wise man told me."

For a minute or so, the club room went silent. I noticed that I was pensively looking at the wall and brought my eyes back to Yumiko. Slowly, she nodded her head.

"I see. That wasn't the kind of advice I was expecting, but it was really helpful. Thank you, Hikio. I mean it." She said with a meek smile.

"Yeah, of course." I replied simply. After another short moment of silence, Yumiko turned towards Yukino, Yuigahama and I and bowed.

"I'll let you know how it goes." She said, before turning and exiting through the clubroom door.

As the door closed, I looked over at Yukino and Yuighama. Yukino was nodding her head a little and Yuigahama seemed to be staring at the wall like I was earlier. I could tell that what I told Yumiko struck a chord with Yuigahama, although I wasn't sure of whether or not that was a good thing. There wasn't really much to be said at this point, so I let the silence ring out and sipped on what was now cold tea while looking out the window. My gaze wandered from buildings off in the distance to the sky to the soccer field, where the soccer club was busy practicing like usual. Hayama could faintly be heard giving instructions to the underclassmen. My mind drifted out and I began to think about Hayama and the exchange that we had in the morning. He really was an interesting person when it came down to it although no one really seemed to understand him.

 _I wonder what Hayama would've done if he were in my shoes. How would he have handled the news of being diagnosed with aggressive brain cancer? Despite being surrounded with loads of people, he always seemed distant and alone. Would he have chosen to grow close to them or would he have pushed them away? One thing for sure is that his façade of happiness and content would become a lot more fragile. In the end, he'd probably learn the hard way who his real friends are as everyone else leaves his side. How would he handle that?_

Suddenly, I had an epiphany. Of all the people who Hayama kept around him, there was one person if particular who defended him vehemently and almost never left his side. That person was Yumiko. We all knew who she was talking about when she came to the club room asking for advice. It was plain as day. There wasn't really anyone else she could've been talking about. She knew that we knew this as well judging by her demeanor. It's part of what made everything so awkward when she told us. She and Hayama both had reasons for their behavior up until this point. She was unsure of herself and didn't quite understand Hayama's behavior. Hayama found himself unable to form meaningful relationships with others yet he still valued the friendships that he had. Both he and Yumiko did. There was a severe lack of communication within their group, especially between those two. However, I now had a bit of faith that things would at least pan out smoothly for the two of them regardless of outcome.

Bringing my attention back to the classroom, I noticed that Yukino was motioning if I wanted another cup of tea. Shaking my head a little, I declined and looked at the clock. It was getting close to 4:30 and I had to leave soon. My first day back in club was definitely an interesting one. Part of me felt rejuvenated and another part of me wondered how long I'd be able to maintain that feeling of rejuvenation. It was thrilling, terrifying, satisfying, and curious all at the same time. Regardless of what was in store for me, I was certain that it was going to be one hell of a ride.

 **A/N:**

 **Hey, guys! Bronze V Lee Sin here once again! Man, it feels like an eternity since I last posted a chapter. For weeks, I've been trying to find the time to write, but just haven't been able to. Classes were beginning to reach the pinnacle of their difficulty, my tutoring hours were being drawn out, and club got really busy. Even spring break was busy and I barely had enough time to get a single chapter in. When finals were over and I actually had time to continue writing, I encountered a massive writer's block and was unable to get even a single sentence in for a few weeks. Don't worry! I'm not going anywhere. The semester is over and summer break is upon us, meaning that aside from working part-time, I'll have plenty of free time. I'll continue to write when I have the time and I will see this story to its end, no matter how long it takes. I still have the rest of my story mapped out for the most part and there's a lot in store, but I will admit that we're at one of its slower points. Hachiman just got out of the hospital and is beginning to get back into the swing of things in club while starting treatment. Although he's already been through a plethora of obstacles and changes, coming back to school after surgery marked sort of a new start for him. What kind of hardships and challenges will await Hachiman in the near or not-so-near future? We'll see. As the story moves along, I'm hoping that his development and evolution will continue and eventually come full circle for all to see. However, this tale is far from over and there's still a lot waiting for the 8man.**

 **To the guest who pointed out that Hiratsuka-sensei is no longer supposed to be Hachiman's homeroom teacher, I know. It's a minor discrepancy that I failed to consider at the beginning of the story, but something that I was willing to give a little leeway on. If it bothers you, I apologize. I made the goof in the second chapter and decided to run with it from there on out.**

 **Since not everyone may have gotten the chance to see it, I'm going to copy-paste a review reply that I made back in February (and slightly edited today) via review comment below:**

 _ **Concerning CombatWars, I'm really glad you asked the question that you asked. As far as Hachiman is concerned, the doctors don't know much about his prognosis other than the fact that the surgical operation was a success and that he'll be able to carry on with treatment. Typically surgery is the first step since without it, the patient's time to live would likely only be a couple months after the initial diagnosis if lucky. Whether or not he'll be able to pull through is unknown to anyone at this point, although it is important to note that GBMs (Glioblastomas) are an incurable form of cancer. That isn't to say that it's impossible to survive. I've heard of cases where people have survived 10 years after receiving an 18 month initial prognosis. When the oncologist was speaking with Hachiman, she was running him through a scenario of how treatment would work in a perfect world. She did this to keep Hachiman's spirits up, as helping patients maintain a certain degree of optimism is one of the things that oncologists do aside from the technical aspects of their work.**_

 _ **To answer your question, maybe. Although miniscule, Hachiman has just as much of a chance of pulling through as anyone else who's been afflicted with brain cancer. However, I'm not going to pull any Deus Ex Machina stunts. The point I'm trying to get across goes along with the theme of Hiro Yukinoshita's story which is that Hachiman is going to take everything one step at a time, regardless of the outcome. I know that this is a really ambiguous answer, but it's the best one I can give you without spoiling any major plot points that I have outlined (although I'm pretty sure you have an idea of where this story is going).**_

 **Once again, thanks to all those who've stuck with me this far and given feedback. It really means a lot to me and gives me extra motivation to continue. Bronze V Lee Sin out! Hikuu!**


	13. Chapter 12: An Enigmatic Reconciliation

Chapter 12: An Enigmatic Reconciliation

Struggling to breathe, I clutched my hand to my chest. My lungs burned like napalm and my entire body felt heavy as if it were a sack of rice. As I continued moving, only one thought resonated throughout my conscience.

 _Why the hell did I think this was a good idea?_

In an attempt to distract myself, I went over the last day or so in my head. After leaving club yesterday, I visited the oncology clinic once again where I was directed to the radiation therapy ward. The process itself was fairly short and painless, although part of that could have had to do with the fact that my mind was constantly wandering. A small marker was put on my head, I laid down on a table and held my head still for about ten minutes while the machinery did its work. After I was finished, my radiologist and oncologist made a few suggestions regarding general health and how to deal with side effects from treatment. One of the possible side effects (aside from hair loss) was a loss of appetite in which case it was recommended that I eat my food through easily digestable, calorie-dense liquid supplements. One of the other recommendations was to set up an exercise routine to keep myself in the best physical shape I could possibly be in. Hence, I found myself where I was currently, panting like a dog and staring at the sidewalk in front of me like a thousand-mile trail as I ran at 7 o'clock in the morning.

 _So riding my bike to and from school every day doesn't count as good exercise?! Ahh, screw it. Just keep going. Just keep going._ I kept telling myself as I took step by step.

With each stride, I could feel myself growing wearier and after a while, I almost felt my mind begin to disappear. Every square inch of me was begging me to stop, but the tiny voice in my head told me to keep going. Looking up, I saw the sun rising and shielded my eyes a little. I could feel my feet growing heavier and my pace starting to slow, but I kept going on and on. The smell of morning dew hit my nostrils, but didn't exactly register in my mind as I was consumed by taking pace after pace. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I hit my front porch and took off my running shoes before entering the house.

I knew I wasn't exactly in the best of shape, but I had no idea that running five kilometers would take so much out of me. For the time I spent doing push-ups and sit-ups in my room, the near half hour I spent on the road, and the short period of time I spent doing pull-ups on the swing set at the park, my mind was empty. Being a lazy person at heart, I absolutely loathed unnecessary movement and even the thought of a rigorous exercise routine was enough to make me want to curl up into a fetal position and cry. Despite all that, I knew that it was in my best interest and decided to at least give it a shot.

 _Maybe this'll get easier as I go._ I thought to myself as I opened my door and stumbled into the living room.

Taking off my running shoes, I walked back to my room to perform my daily morning routine and noticed that I had a larger appetite than usual. After taking a shower and changing into my school uniform, I headed into the kitchen, where I made myself some eggs and rice and ate with Komachi before riding off to school.

Homeroom was laid back like usual. The usual groups gathered in their favorite corners of the classroom and began conversing. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Yuigahama walk towards my desk as I was putting my bag down.

"Yahallo, Hikki!" she exclaimed as she sat on the desk next to mine.

"Oh, hey. Good morning to you as well. What's up?" I asked casually. Yuigahama put her hand to her mouth and yawned a little.

"Nothing much, just checking on you. So, how was your first day of treatment?" she asked curiously. I shrugged my shoulders a little and responded.

"It was actually pretty short. I was in and out in about a half hour and the actual treatment only lasted for about ten minutes. Most of the time I was there, my radiologist and oncologist were talking to me about procedures and plans. It was mostly stuff that I'd been told already. Overall it wasn't too bad." I answered.

"Ahh, I see." Yuigahama said. Suddenly, a quizzical expression formed on her face. "Umm, there's something I want to ask you about. Yukinon and I are going to be setting up a few study sessions in the near future. I know you aren't planning on taking the exams, but would you be interested in joining us?" she asked semi-nervously.

"Sure." I said without hesitating. "Just let me know when and where and I'll be with you. If you need help on the language section, I can lend a hand or two."

"Oh, that would be great! Yeah, we'll talk about it in club then!" Yuigahama exclaimed, her eyes widening.

"Yeah, sounds good." I replied, smiling a little and looking around.

As Yuigahama and I continued our mini-conversation, I noticed a few more people walking in the classroom. One of them was Yumiko, who looked around a little cautiously as she walked in. She was in a different class and usually didn't come to our homeroom, so seeing her around was a little strange to our homeroom class. However, it was fairly obvious to me why she was here. As she scanned the room, her eyes found Hayama and she slowly made her way over to him.

"…could also invite Komachi with us if we go to a coffee shop after. Hey, Hikki, is something the matter?" I heard Yuigahama say as I turned my head back towards her.

"Ahh, no. I was just looking around." I replied. As I saw Yumiko approach Hayama, I quickly turned back over to Yuigahama and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Hey, look over there." I told Yuigahama as I motioned towards Hayama, who was sitting by the window and now beginning to face Yumiko.

"Over wher- Oh. I see." Yuigahama said, quickly cutting off her own question as she saw what I was referring to. "Hey, Hikki. Do you think she understood what you said yesterday?"

"I'll never know for sure, but I think she did to some degree." I responded, watching as Hayama moved away from his group. He made a motioning gesture with his hand and led Yumiko away from the window and looked around until he saw that his clique was no longer paying attention. Yumiko cleared her throat and spoke up softly.

"Hayama-kun, there's something I want to talk to you about later. Do you think you could spare a few minutes at lunch?" she asked. Hayama scratched his head a little and then nodded.

"Sure. Just us?" he responded curiously.

"Yeah. Just us. It's important."

"Alright. Meet me outside the cafeteria then."

With that, Yumiko nodded and promptly walked out of the classroom. I turned over to Yuigahama and smirked a little. Yuigahama smiled back and chuckled.

"I think she's going to do it." Yuigahama said. I nodded in agreement and seconds later, Hiratsuka-sensei walked in the classroom to start the day.

Classes didn't exactly breeze by like they did the day before. I found myself nearly falling asleep and on a couple of occasions, Yuigahama had to tap me on the shoulder so I wouldn't get caught by the teacher. I was pretty beat from this morning and I knew that it would take some time getting used to. Even my beloved Maxx coffee wasn't quite doing the trick. Now, during math class, I found myself looking out the window and thinking idly. It had been a while since I'd done so, but there was something oddly nostalgic about it. On the surface, there wasn't anything different between now and the last time I found myself staring out the window and into the sky. The trees, the clouds, and the sun were all still there. However, my thoughts had all but changed entirely.

Thoughts about what light novel I'd pick up at the store the next weekend were replaced with thoughts about what I was going to study when the Service Club got together for a session. What used to be a series of cynical ruminations was now a combination of personal reflection and hopeful ambition. Bits and pieces of my personal identity that I used to cling to were being let go and replaced by things that I learned from experience. It felt good to be able to start moving on and focusing on the future instead of the past, but at the same time it was harrowing and frightening. I didn't know what kind of news I was going to receive during my next visit to the oncologist or whether or not I'd be able to live long enough to do anything meaningful. Although I'd spent a large amount of time reorganizing my worldview and approach to everyday life, death was still a scary thing to think about and the uncertainty of my situation was still unnerving. The initial shock had subsided, but the weight of mortality was still something that I carried.

As my mind wandered, I studied the clouds as if they were inkblots in a Rorschach test, perhaps in hopes of finding some sort of meaning in the gray puffs of mist. Part of me longed to go back a couple months when things were much simpler and the comfort of being able to look years into the future was still there.

 _If only I'd carried the mentality that I carried now back then and I'd never been afflicted with this stupid cancer…_

But then again, there wasn't any point in pondering the what-ifs and if-onlys. What had happened in my life up to this point had happened, for better or for worse. Thinking about the past as if it could be changed was ridiculous. I knew this and I'd even proclaimed it to be the case when talking to Hayama while I was in the recovery ward, but it was still hard to fully accept. I was still new to the changes that had taken place in my life and adjusting was not going to be an easy task. Regardless, I knew that it was possible and that in and of itself was enough to keep me going.

Before I knew it, the bell rang and it was time for lunch. Starving from having burned some extra calories this morning, I made my way to the clubroom where I found Yuigahama and Yukino sitting with their meals in front of them on the table.

"Ah, Hikki! We were just going to start eating!" Exclaimed Yuigahama as I walked towards the table.

"Indeed. Come and join us." Yukino said as she held out a hand gesturing me towards an empty chair across from her and Yuigahama. I promptly sat down and pulled my lunch container from my bag. Yukino cleared her throat and spoke up.

"So, I heard that you were falling asleep in class again. Is everything alright?" she asked with a worried tone.

"I'm just a bit groggy. Don't worry, though. I'm fine. If anything gets really bad or out of hand, I'll let you know." I replied, shrugging a little. Yukino nodded a little and turned towards Yuigahama who smiled lightly.

"See, Yukinon? He's fine. No need to worry." Yuigahama said reassuringly. Slightly concerned, I leaned forward and patted Yukino on the shoulder.

"I'm alright. No need to worry about me." I said softly. Yukino smiled in relief and nodded. A few moments later, all three of us said our blessings and I started picking at the eggs, fish, and rice that I made in the morning. Looking over at my lunch, Yukino made a comment.

"Are those breakfast leftovers that you cooked this morning?" she asked, raising her brow a little.

"Yes." I replied proudly, lifting my chin and smirking slightly. Almost instantly, a similar smirk formed on Yukino's face.

"I can tell. It looks like you cooked it in a hurry." She retorted, giggling a little. Following suit, I raised my free hand and made a gesture pointing up with my index finger.

"Hey, now. It may have been cooked in haste, but it's good enough to appease my starving taste buds." I replied.

"Of course, for an unruly person such as yourself, anything would taste good." Yukino said, trying to contain her laughter. I mockingly smiled and nodded in agreement with wide eyes. Although Yukino's insults used to be a bit overbearing at times, they were a sign that she felt comfortable and at home. Hearing her playfully go at it again was a welcome change. Our conversation segued into club activities and after a couple minutes, I found myself yawning. It had been a couple hours since I had any coffee, so now was good a time as any to go fetch some from a vending machine. Getting up and pushing my seat in, I told Yukino and Yuigahama that I was going to get coffee and proceeded to walk out into the hallway.

As I spotted the vending machine, I passed a staircase and heard a couple of familiar voices. Walking over to the vending machine, I paused a little to listen.

"…just us two now. What was it you wanted to talk to me about?" I heard a male voice say. Approaching the machine, I kept my ears open. I almost felt like I was intruding, but then again I was merely buying myself some coffee. Plus, I was almost sure I had a clear idea of what was going on underneath the staircase and I was fairly interested.

"Well, it's a lot you see…" I heard the second voice say, trailing off a little. Instantly, I recognized that Yumiko and Hayama were speaking privately and my hunch was confirmed. Although slightly uncomfortable with the idea of eavesdropping on a private, intimate conversation, I knew exactly what was going on and was interested in hearing how it was going to turn out.

"We have time. Go ahead." I heard Hayama say as I reached into my pocket to get my wallet. After a brief moment, Yumiko responded.

"I'm not exactly sure how to say this, so I'm just going to say it." She said softly, pausing for a second and sighing before continuing. Fidgeting with my wallet until I pulled out a 100 yen note, I continued listening.

"I've wanted to say this since we were first-years, but I was never able to. Hayama-kun, I love you." Yumiko said. Placing the note in the machine, I held my hand at the bottom of the dispenser so that the can wouldn't make too much noise. Pressing the button, I kept listening.

"I've been by your side for a long time, but it was always as a friend and an acquaintance. I never felt like I really got to know you or get close to you and as long as I've been there with you, I've wanted to do that. We don't have a whole lot of time left in our last year, so I wanted to get that off my chest before it became too late. I know it might be selfish of me to ask, but would you let me be by your side? Not as someone who's always there like everyone else, but something more special."

As the can slid into my hand, I felt the cold reach my fingertips. Slipping my wallet back into my pocket and wiping the can with my shirt, I began to walk back to the clubroom. As I turned the corner and the staircase was at the extent of my hearing range, I heard Hayama speak.

"Alright. Let's try."

Walking back into the clubroom, I bent the tab on the coffee can and took a short sip. As I sat back down at the table and began to finish my lunch, I looked out the window and started staring into the sky again, listening as Yukino and Yuigahama conversed. Although I wasn't exactly sure what was going to happen between Yumiko, Hayama, and the rest of their group, I was certain of what I heard happen in the hallway. Realizing that I had indirectly just played matchmaker, I humorously thought to myself.

 _Well, I guess we'll see what happens from here on out with those two. It wasn't really much of my business to begin with, but I guess giving a little nudge was enough to bring them together. I'm sure most people would agree that this was long due…_

Suddenly, I was interrupted mid-thought by Yuigahama, who turned to me with a curious look on her face.

"Hey, Hikki. You've been pretty quiet for the last few minutes. What's up?" she asked, turning to Yukino and then back towards me.

"Oh, nothing. I'm just finishing my lunch and relaxing a bit." I replied half-truthfully, shoveling more rice into my mouth.

"Ahh, okay. You must be pretty hungry today." Yuigahama said, chuckling a little. I simply nodded my head in agreement and kept eating. I didn't tell Yukino and Yuigahama what I heard by the staircase just yet. It was a bit too soon and I wasn't about to blabber about a private conversation that I had technically eavesdropped upon.

The rest of lunch period went by quickly and now that I was fed and caffeinated, the rest of the school ended up being much more tolerable. Once again, I found myself walking down the hall until I hit the clubroom. Opening the door like I always did, I came in and gave a casual greeting.

"Yo." I said, slightly raising a single hand and making my way over to the main table. This time, Yukino was the first to greet me as I set my bag down.

"Oh, Hachi-kun! There you are. Have some tea. It's a new blend I found when I went grocery shopping last weekend." She said, placing a cup and saucer filled with warm liquid in front of me.

"Huh? Oh, thanks." I replied as I sat down and brought the cup to my lips. As I took a sip, I raised my brow a little. "Interesting… There's a lot of different flavors going on here. Nice mix. What kind was it?" I asked.

"It was Earl Grey with peppermint and a dash of cinnamon." Yukino replied, returning to her seat. "I agree by the way. The leaves and spices used are fairly enjoyable on their own, but I do believe that when put together, the individual flavors create a single, more satisfying taste overall."

"Kind of like us!" Yuigahama exclaimed, hopping in on our tea comments. All three of us looked at each other for a moment until Yukino broke the silence.

"Indeed. I like the analogy." She said simply, sipping on her own cup.

Just then, a pair of footsteps could be heard coming down the hallway. The three of us straightened ourselves up a little bit and waited for the person to come in. As the door opened, my jaw almost dropped. What I thought was another request was actually Haruno Yukinoshita paying the club a visit. I wasn't exactly sure what the meaning of her presence was, but it made me nervous regardless. If Haruno was visiting the club during school hours, she had a clear reason to be there. Given what Yukino told me while I was in the recovery ward, Haruno was a bit skeptical about our relationship. Still, she chose to tell her father rather than her mother, which meant that she didn't intend on destroying it. Or at least I didn't think so.

 _What could she possibly be here for?_ I thought as I looked over at Yukino, who seemed to have the same wide-eyed stare on her face as I did. Walking towards us, Haruno spoke up in her usual cheery tone.

"Ahh, my lovelies! There you are! It's been so long since I've seen you three together!" She exclaimed. Narrowing her gaze a little, Yukino spoke up.

"Nee-san. Is there something that you need?" She asked a little nervously. Haruno continued walking over until she was flush against the table, leaning towards Yukino.

"Well, yes. But before I get to that, how has my younger sister been? Enjoying the company of the boyfriend here?" She asked, playfully pointing towards me. Looking over at Yukino's tea cup, Haruno sat on the table and lifted the cup from the saucer with her ring finger and pinky. "May I?" she asked simply.

"Sure. I can make you a cup if you wish. The pot is still warm." Yukino said, gesturing towards the teapot with her hand. Haruno shook her head and took a sip from Yukino's cup. Placing it back down on the saucer, she wiped her mouth with her free hand.

"No need. I just wanted a taste is all." Haruno said, crossing her legs a little as she sat on the table. "So, what have you been up to?" She asked, impishly grinning.

"We just spoke recently, so not a whole lot. It's been schoolwork for the most part." Yukino replied dryly.

"Oh? That's disappointing. I was hoping that you'd say something far more… debaucherous." Haruno said, her grin widening. Yukino's eyes flared a little and she scooted back in her chair, drawing a little distance between her and Haruno.

"I have nothing of the sort to mention. Now, there was something you needed?" Yukino asked, now visibly flustered. Haruno stood up and walked a couple feet away from the table. Yuigahama merely watched as Haruno circled around and stood in front of her sister.

"My, my. I must've pressed a button or two. Why so rude now? You know I do like talking with you." Haruno said, pretending to sulk. Instantly, she straightened herself and her tone changed to a serious one. "Anyways, I need to speak with your dearly beloved for a moment. You don't mind if we have a little chat outside, do you?" She asked, motioning towards me. Yukino looked over at me with a worried glance.

"What do you need to talk to him about?" Yukino asked, looking back and forth between me and her sister.

"Ahem. That's between him and I. Now, you don't mind if I borrow him for a few minutes?" Haruno asked, the joking tone now gone from her voice. Yukino shook her head and Haruno turned towards me, gesturing me out the door. I got up from my seat and followed Haruno as she exited the clubroom. As I closed the door behind me, Haruno faced me.

"Mind if we take a leisurely stroll?" she asked. I simply shook my head.

"Where to?" I asked in return. Haruno yawned a little.

"Let's get some fresh air and go outside." She responded. With that, we made our way down the hallway and out into the open. Now that we were outside in the afternoon sun, Haruno slowed our walking pace.

"This is good. I wanted to get some distance so Yukino-chan wouldn't be able to overhear us." Haruno said plainly. Wearing a serious expression on her face, she turned towards me until her entire body was facing me. "So, I heard about what happened to you. How have things been?" She asked. Hesitantly, I opened my mouth to answer.

"It's been all over the place. A lot of things have happened in a short period of time." I responded honestly, but concisely.

Haruno's usual happy, teasing front was nowhere to be found. Even though her happy-go-lucky façade was unsettling to begin with, the fact that she had dropped it completely from the get-go was even more nerve-wracking. I still couldn't get a read on her, but it was clear at this point that she had something important to talk to me about. As I looked back at Haruno, I noticed that her gaze wasn't exactly focused on me. It was as if she were staring through me or at the school building which was directly behind me. As a breeze blew through, she fixed her hair and cleared her throat.

"I see. It must've been a lot to take in." Haruno said. I nodded my head in agreement.

"It was." I replied. Haruno kept her gaze fixed upon me and spoke up again, this time a little more quietly.

"You know, when I heard about your condition, the first thing I thought about was how you'd be inspirational to my father's foundation. Charity, dignity, goodwill, and the such. I didn't think twice about telling Father about you because I knew that he'd want to speak to you the moment he heard who you were. In a sense, I was doing a good deed, but there was a lot more to it than that. I'm sure you have an idea of where this is going."

Still confused, I merely stood in silence. Part of me was puzzled as to why Haruno would be so frank and the other part was trying to figure out what she was going to say next. Sighing, Haruno continued.

"For years, Father always stayed true to the mission of his foundation, which was to help those afflicted with terminal illnesses live with happiness and dignity and perhaps even work towards finding cures. However, one thing I noticed over time was that the passion that once drove him to start the foundation became less and less prevalent. He never forgot why he chose to start his work, but the fire that he once had burning within him faded away and eventually the foundation became work like any other. In these years, Father accomplished more for the Noboru Foundation than he'd dreamed of being able to in the past, but it seemed empty to him. That's what happens when you work as hard as he did. Deep down, it always kind of bothered me to see him go through that, but of course I never said anything to him about it. It simply wasn't my place to do so. That's why I told him who you were. I knew that if he had the opportunity to speak to you, his fire would rekindle itself and the passion that once drove him in his work would return to him."

For a moment, Haruno paused a bit. Her gaze shifted upwards to the sky before placing itself on me again. She smiled bitterly and went on.

"After hearing Father go on after speaking to you, I knew that my idea had worked. He started talking about his old fishing days with Noboru-san and being more outspoken about cancer awareness at Diet meetings again. But, something didn't feel right about it. Part of me felt sick to the stomach although I couldn't fathom why that was."

Now looking me straight in the eyes, Haruno drew in a deep breath.

"Did Yukino-chan tell you about what I told her when I saw that you two were becoming a lot closer?" she asked, a worried look on her face. It was strange seeing Haruno like this. I don't ever recall Haruno opening herself up as much she was now. Unlike before, she seemed to be solemnly genuine to the point of being vulnerable. It was bizarre, but slightly comforting. I slowly nodded my head.

"Yeah, she did." I replied. "She was pretty upset about it."

"When we talked, she got so upset that she eventually walked up and left. Normally, I'd just brush it off and wait a couple days for her to cool down, but I could tell that this was different. She really cares about you, you know. It wasn't until a few days after we spoke that I realized what this meant. I'd never felt guilt for anything I'd done up to this point, and believe me when I say that I've done quite a bit of nefarious work for my family that I wouldn't disclose to anyone. After talking to Father and considering what I'd said to Yukino-chan beforehand, I felt guilt that I'd never felt before. I only wanted to look out for my family, but in the process, I ended up showing complete disregard for both you and my sister."

Haruno stopped for a second and scratched her head. Looking back at me, she looked my straight in the eye and continued.

"I care a lot about Yukino-chan. I know it may not seem like it to her or to you, but I really do. I've spent a lot of time poking and prodding, trying to get her to think for herself instead of against her family. I can't blame her for wanting to break off as much as she could when she had the opportunity. Father was always busy and Mother was always overbearing towards her. Yukino-chan just didn't know how to deal with her like I did. All the time I spent trying to nudge her in the right direction was wasted, as I only succeeded in pushing her away. You, however, seem to have eased many of her problems. Of course, I didn't really see it until she made the decision to go for you, but she's been thinking a lot more about her future and weighing out her career choices. She's been forming passions and desires and I have no doubt in my mind that a lot of it started with you. I'm grateful for that. But at the same time, I'm worried… It's- I don't even know how to explain it."

Processing what I just heard, I began to put the pieces together. Everything began to make a little more sense and I could actually understand Haruno's demeanor. For the first time, it felt like she was actually talking to me and not just toying with me for fun or entertainment. Curious to see if I actually understand what Haruno was telling me, I spoke up to test the waters.

"Considering the circumstances I'm in, you're worried that if I were to go, my permanent absence would destroy Yukino." I said bluntly. Sighing, Haruno nodded her head.

"Yes, precisely. I couldn't have worded it any better, actually. Listen, I'm not very good at offering apologies, so I'm not even going to bother with that. I just felt that you deserved the right to know what was going on. Life decided to kick you in the ass and I'm truly sorry to know that it went this way for you. Believe it or not, I really wanted to visit you after your operation when I heard about it. However, I had obligations to tend to and for obvious reasons, I wasn't able to make it. That leads me to what I originally came here to speak to you about, though…"

"Oh? And what was that?" I asked curiously.

Confused again, I squinted and raised my brow. I still didn't know what business Haruno had with me. Whatever it was, it must've been urgent.

"Father is having a banquet at our house in a week and a half for many of the top patrons of the Noboru Foundation. He told me that he's planning on inviting you and your family although nothing is quite set in stone yet. You don't have treatment next Saturday evening, do you?" Haruno asked.

"No, I don't. That happens Mondays through Fridays in the evening." I replied.

"No pre-existing obligations?" Haruno continued.

"Not that I'm aware of." I answered simply.

"Alright, then. I'll let you know what's going on as things become clearer and the arrangements are made. Either Yukino-chan will tell you what's going on or I'll stop by your club again in person."

"Okay."

"Oh, and don't talk about it with anyone else just yet. When everything is properly set up, I'll let everyone know."

"Alright."

"Anyways, that was all I came to speak to you about. Thank you for listening to me. If there's anything you need in the future, don't be afraid to get in touch with your good ol' Nee-chan, alright?"

"Alright."

"We've been out here for a while now. We should probably get back to the clubroom before Yukino-chan starts thinking that I abducted you." Haruno said, a glint forming in her eye.

With that, we started walking back up the stairs towards the clubroom. Neither of us spoke a word, but that didn't seem like it was much of a problem. Haruno was done speaking with me and I didn't have any questions for her. In fact, I wasn't exactly sure what to think after our little chat. It was definitely going to linger on my mind later on, though.

As Haruno and I walked back into the clubroom, I shut the door behind me. As I headed back over to my chair, Yukino glanced at me with worried eyes before turning back towards her sister. Reverting back to her usual self, Haruno looked at Yukino with an exaggerated grin.

"We're back, Yukino-chan! Don't look so uneasy. I didn't torture him too badly, you know. Right?" Haruno said, turning to me and winking a little. "Anyways, I'd love to chat, but I have a couple errands to run. I'll visit another time."

With that, she turned around and started walking out the way she came in just a moment ago. Pausing a little, she stopped and turned back to Yukino, who was still looking at me.

"Oh, by the way, Yukino-chan, I'm going to be stopping by your place tonight." She said casually, raising one of her hands suggestively. Yukino turned towards Haruno and tilted her head, puzzled.

"What for?" Yukino asked abruptly and in a curt manner.

"It's family business. Don't worry, Mother didn't send me. I do have a few things I need to talk to you about, though." Haruno said, her voice flipping back to a serious tone. Yukino nodded slowly and Haruno turned around again and started walking out, waving as she did.

As she turned out the door, she looked at me with a sad smile and continued walking. There was a brief moment of silence in the clubroom. It was clear that Yukino noticed something a little off about Haruno's behavior after she came back in from talking with me. The concerned look on her face said that much. Clearing her throat, she turned to me.

"What did she say to you?" Yukino asked.

I thought to myself for a moment before answering. Haruno had just disclosed some rather personal information that I was still trying to wrap my head around. She also told Yukino that she was planning on talking to her at her apartment later this evening and there was no doubt in my mind that she was planning on telling her about the charity dinner assuming she didn't already know. Plus, Yuigahama was present and I knew that discussing confidential business concerning the Yukinoshita family with her around would be both inconsiderate and in bad taste. Part of me wanted to talk to Yukino about the conversation that I had with her sister, but given the current circumstances I relegated myself to being brief and sparing sensitive details.

"She actually said a lot, but she's planning on talking to you about it later today." I said with a serious look on my face. Yukino looked back at me with a knowing expression and nodded. A few moments later, club activities went back to normal and all three of us went back to the topic of mixed tea. No requests came in, so we ended up having a lot of downtime. Soon enough, it was time for me to leave and I found myself heading over to the radiation/oncology clinic.

When I got there, things went pretty similar to the day before. After sitting in the waiting room for a few minutes, I was brought back into the room with the table and the big, clunky machine. As I laid on the table and the radiology team operated the machine, I took a deep breath and reflected on the school day. The constant buzzing of the machinery seemed to fade away into the background like white noise as I laid on my back.

The atmosphere of the clubroom calmed down soon after Haruno left, but it felt awkward to me. I had told Yukino a half-truth to quell her curiosity in hopes that her sister would deliver later on. It was a necessary action as doing otherwise would've been out of line, but it still left a strange taste in my mouth. I knew that it was the best thing to do, but it challenged a part of my identity that I'd held near and dear for a long time. Even if Yuigahama weren't present, I still wouldn't have told Yukino everything that her sister told me. Even though I knew so little and was still suspicious about Haruno's intentions, I had faith in her. Why? I couldn't quite put a finger on it. Something about the way she spoke to me and even looked at me when we spoke outside seemed authentic, unlike the Haruno I was accustomed to speaking to.

By placing my trust in Haruno, I became unsure of whether or not I'd stayed true to myself. I could've just as easily chosen to pull Yukino aside and talk to her one on one about the things her sister brought up, but I didn't. I used to carry an MO of not trusting anyone and handling things myself, but this time I'd chosen to put my faith in someone I was originally suspicious of. Did that make me wise or did it make me weak? The line separating the two wasn't nearly as clear as I would've thought, which troubled me. Haruno was a human being just like I was. She also experienced emotions and had people that she cared about, even if she hardly showed it. This fact should've been obvious, but for the longest time I'd failed to consider it. Empathy had never been my strong-suit as I had never really made an effort to empathize with anyone before. However, now that I found myself facing a set of trying circumstances, that was beginning to change. I was beginning to change, at my very core and through my actions.

Perhaps my previous conception of what made someone genuine was wrong. No, not even wrong. It simply wasn't there to begin with. I always considered myself to be a genuine person and longed for something genuine with those around me, but in the end I could never find it because I didn't know what I was looking for. "Genuine" had become a word that I trivialized as a result of feeding my cynical mindset. I'd held myself back from forming meaningful relationships with other people not because they lacked a genuine quality but because I was afraid. I was afraid that if I tried to get close to others again that I'd be ridiculed and tossed around like I was in the past. I was afraid that if I took up any large endeavors that I'd be mocked and laughed at. As a result, I'd become a bitter person who accomplished nothing and did nothing; a hopeful house-husband who'd rather receive pity than take initiative and try to form and pursue his own desires. Fear turned into self-defeat, which turned into complacency, which created fear of failure once again. It was a vicious cycle that I let consume me for a long time, but if I'd learned something in the last few weeks, it was that the cycle could be broken. Growing, recognizing my weaknesses, and doing everything in my power to be the best person I could possibly be was as genuine as it got. Strangely enough, a talk with someone who I once considered to be the opposite of genuine was what led me to consider this.

As my mind wandered again, I noticed that the buzzing noise emanating from the machinery had stopped. One of the operators turned to me and gave me a thumbs up gesture.

"Alright, Hikigaya-san. You're all done for today." He said, helping me off the table and leading me out of the room.

Walking back into the main lobby of the clinic, I noticed a large plaque on the wall with the words "Noboru Foundation" written in large Kanji with the names of a few donors written underneath. At the top of the plaque was a picture of Satou Noboru with a beaming smile as he held what looked like a framed certificate of some sort. As I passed the plaque, I thought about the charity banquet that Haruno came to speak to me about. If my family and I were invited, Hiro Yukinoshita must've had a good reason for wanting us there. As far as I knew, the banquets and parties that the Yukinoshitas hosted were private events that they usually only invited business/political partners to for lobbying purposes. Maybe my family and I were being invited out of goodwill. Perhaps Hiro Yukinoshita had something he wanted to discuss with us. Thinking about it made me nervous and excited at the same time.

 **A/N:**

 **Hey, guys! Bronze V Lee Sin here again! It feels great to be back in action and I'm really happy to be writing regularly again (even if my work has been really slow). I had to go back over and reread my story a few times as well as rehash my storyboard, but in the end I have high hopes that it'll pay off. I was heavily debating whether or not to continue with the series since my writer's block was almost impossible to overcome. However, after reading through some the PM's that you guys sent me, I gained some much-needed inspiration and soldiered on. Thank you for the words of encouragement and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story!**

 **As for where we're at now, things are beginning to pick up. Hachiman has begun treatment and is doing his best to get back into the swing of his daily routine. The last couple of chapters may have read like an extended interim (I know it kind of felt that way when I was writing them), but things are going to get a little more interesting from here on out. I still have big things in mind for the story, and the vision that I started with is still alive, shining brighter than ever. That's it for this week. I hope you guys enjoy the rest of the story. Bronze V Lee Sin out! Hikuu!**


	14. Chapter 13: An Honest Proposal

Chapter 13: An Honest Proposal

Stepping out of my parents' car, I took in a breath of fresh air and yawned deeply. Glancing at my attire, I stiffened a little. I was never one for wearing tuxedos or dress shoes of any sort. They felt clunky, uncomfortable, and quite frankly I never understood why wearing such an outfit was necessary. Yet here I was, straightening my tie and making sure that the hem of my dress shirt was lined up correctly. As I looked around, I took a brief moment to think to myself.

 _So this is the place, huh?_ I thought, walking alongside Komachi and my parents.

The Yukinoshita residence was definitely an eye-catcher. It wasn't exactly a luxurious mansion, but it was without a doubt more than just a nice, big house. The rounded driveway was big enough to park about half a dozen vehicles and from what I could tell, the lawn and garden were both very well-maintained. There was a fountain in the middle of the front yard and the bricked walkway was lined with solar-powered lights, which illuminated the yard now that it was evening time. As I walked along, I thought about the last week and a half.

My new early-morning runs/workouts became a regular thing and although I wasn't getting much faster or stronger, I could tell that my endurance was increasing. To go along with that, my appetite was also growing and I began making healthier food choices (although nothing was going to separate me from my beloved Maxx Coffee). Despite the fact that I was afflicted with a terminal condition, I actually felt more full of energy than I ever had before and my focus grew sharper. Tedious class subjects that I once struggled with like math became less torturous to study and it became easier to get myself into a groove when studying language. For probably the first time I could remember, I began to develop self-confidence and became slightly more proactive about my work habits (even though I was still a lollygagger at heart).

Even though I was only a couple weeks into my treatment, I had gotten used to showing up every day after school. Aside from my hair growing back thin, I didn't notice any major side effects yet, which was nice considering the long list of possible side effects that my treatment pamphlet described. I was, however, due for a regular CT scan in about a week which made me a bit nervous. I knew that worrying wouldn't do me any good, so I decided to keep it out of mind until the time came.

Family dinners were now commonplace at home and every time my family and I sat down at the table, we would share little details about our day with each other. Despite the conversations being typical and bland, the experience of enjoying time with my own family became something that I cherished. The Service Club also started to get a bit busier and more requests started coming in. Unfortunately, most of these were homework help requests and even though we were more than capable of handling them, we had to remind many students that there were better-suited resources available to them. The club was constantly flowing with people walking in and out nonetheless and my afternoons became a little livelier.

On the downside, since club was always busy, Yukino and I never found any time to speak one on one. There was a lot I wanted to ask her and talk to her about, but the right moment never seemed to pop up. Now that we were both going to be here at her parents' house, I was hoping that we would have a better chance.

Hearing a quick gasp from my left, I was brought back to my senses.

"Wow, this place is incredible!" Exclaimed Komachi, somewhat bewildered by the residence. "Yukino-chan's family sure has a lot of money- oh, look!"

Turning my head straight ahead, I noticed Haruno waving at us in the distance. She walked towards us and turned to my parents, who were now standing directly next to me.

"Greetings! You must be Mr. and Mrs. Hikigaya, am I correct?" Haruno asked, smiling hospitably. Nodding, my father spoke up.

"Ahh, yes. That would be us. Thank you for inviting us to your banquet." He said, bowing slightly.

"It's our pleasure, Hikigaya-san! I'm Haruno Yukinoshita, daughter of Hiro Yukinoshita! Anyhow, would you like me to show you around? There's still about half an hour until dinner's going to be served." Haruno replied.

"Sure, we wouldn't mind that at all!"

"Alright, then! Follow me."

With that, we walked through the yard and through a large set of double doors which opened up into the Yukinoshita residence. Stepping into the house, I looked around at the interior décor. The walls were lined with pictures, plaques, and frames of all sorts. A couple hallways branched out on either side of the living room hall and in the middle, a set of stairs went up into the second floor, which overlooked where I was standing. At the end of the stairs was a balcony, which overlooked what appeared to be the backyard.

 _Alright, I take the initial thought back. This place is definitely a mansion._ I thought to myself, walking alongside my parents in Haruno's wake.

As we walked through the main hall, I examined Haruno's attire. She was wearing a red Chinese dress, black high-heels, and red gloves. Her hair was tied in a bun and kept in place with silver hairpins. She looked elegant and refined unlike her casual wear, but her outfit suited the occasion nonetheless.

"Ahh, we'll going up the stairs first." Haruno said, motioning with her hands. As we followed her, she turned to Komachi and I. "So, how have you two lovelies been?" she asked with her usual smile. Komachi immediately responded.

"Everything's been going great! Onii-chan has been getting up early to go running every morning and he makes breakfast for me all the time now. We watch TV and eat dinner together more than we used to. He's less of a grump now, too!"

As Komachi and Haruno giggled, I rolled my eyes at that last part. Haruno turned to me and back to Komachi.

"That definitely sounds like him." Haruno replied, winking at Komachi.

My mother turned to Haruno perked her neck a little.

"Oh, you know these two?" she asked curiously. Haruno nodded and widened her smile.

"Of course! I visit Hachiman at school all the time and I've talked to Komachi-san before. We're all quite familiar!" she said. As we approached the top of the stairs, we walked out onto the balcony and Haruno turned to my parents.

"Alright. Out here is our backyard. Right in front of you is the main courtyard where my mother and father sometimes like to hold private balls and dances. Then we have the pool which is further out as you can see. In the very back are the guest house and shed, which are actually part of the same building. We rarely have anyone using the guest house, so it usually serves as an extra storage room, but we clean it out when we need to. In the far corner to your right is our garden. There's a persimmon tree in the middle that my mother had imported from the United States. She loves the fruits, so she had the tree planted a few years back. The fruits are actually almost ripe for the picking, so if you wish to go down and try one out later, feel free…"

As Haruno went on, my mind drifted and I started pondering the reason my family was invited to this banquet. It was for Hiro Yukinoshita's charity, which supported the same oncology clinic that I was going to. I was close to Yukino and Haruno was familiar with who I was, so inviting me to this sort of event made sense. Hiro Yukinoshita seemed like a generous, caring man and considering how close I was to a couple members of his family, it wasn't difficult to imagine him reaching out to me. It made even more sense when I thought about what Haruno told me a week and a half ago about her father rekindling an old passion that inspired him to found his charity in the first place.

Perhaps he invited my family for the same reason he invited me and he wanted us all to be there to enjoy the gathering of charity members. Maybe Haruno was the one to suggest inviting all of us. Maybe he had some important news that he wanted all of us to hear. Maybe we were invited non-altruistically and he wanted us to spread the news of his foundation's benevolence. It wasn't all that likely in my mind, but the bitter possibility still lingered.

"…is a sword that's been passed down through the generations. It originally belonged to one of my father's ancestors, who was a samurai warrior during the end of the Tokugawa shogunate's reign. Now, it serves as a family heirloom that will continue to be passed down. My mother simply views it as an antique, which annoys my father since he has quite a bit of pride attached to it. Don't tell them I told you that, though…"

Soon enough, we found ourselves back in the main hall. Haruno turned to us again and bowed slightly.

"Anyhow, thank you for coming tonight. My father was happy to hear that you'd all be attending. The dining hall is this way. The other guests are coming, so I have to usher them in. Please, enjoy the evening." Haruno said, gesturing towards the hallway on our left. As she walked towards the front door door, she came towards me and whispered in my ear.

"I think Yukino-chan wants to talk to you later, so be on the lookout for her after dinner's over." She said, patting me on the shoulder. I nodded and walked into the main dining hall with my family.

The dining hall was probably the largest room in the house, the ceiling looming about ten meters above us and the hall itself being big enough to fit at least a few dozen people. A set of large chandeliers hung from the ceiling and illuminated the room. There were a few round wooden tables with cushioned chairs around them and a few people who were idly chatting. Servers came by with glasses, utensils, and bottles of champagne and apple cider. As my family and I took a seat at one of the tables, I looked around at the guests.

From the corner of my eye, I saw my oncologist and a couple staff members from the clinic. Haruno was out greeting more guests and from what I could see, her mother was now out doing the same thing. Scanning the hall again, I notice that both Yukino and her father were nowhere to be seen. Figuring that they were busy, I turned to Komachi and decided to talk to her to pass a little time.

"Hey, Komachi. How's school going?" I asked, keeping an eye out for either Yukino or her father.

"Oh? It's going pretty good, I guess. I have almost all straight A's except for in math. I might have it this term if I do well enough in my fall exams. I'm surprised you asked, Onii-chan. You almost never do! Hee hee hee!" Komachi replied, giggling a little towards the end. Shrugging my shoulders, I went on.

"Hey, now. I do care about you. Anyways, that's good to hear. Don't feel bad if you don't ace math. It was never my strongest area, either. So, do you have a study plan or are you just turning in homework?" I asked curiously.

"I've been studying a lot with Taishi-kun. He's a wiz at math and science, but he's not so good in the other areas. That's okay though since I help him where he needs help and he helps me where I need help." She replied. I nodded my head a little.

"Ahh, that's a pretty good setup. Wait a second, about Taishi-kun… Isn't he the brother of uhh…"

I scratched my head a little, trying to remember the name of my gray-haired classmate who wore black lace. Kawasaki, right? Or maybe it was something else…

"Saki Kawasaki?" Komachi asked, raising an eyebrow. A lightbulb went off in my head and my original thought was confirmed.

"Yeah, her." I replied, somewhat relieved that I now knew her name for certain. As I was about to go on, I shifted my gaze a little and noticed Hiro Yukinoshita walking towards my table accompanied by Yukino, who was wearing an outfit similar to her sister's.

"Ahh, Hikigaya-san! Nice to see you again!" Hiro said, approaching me.

"Likewise, Yukinoshita-san." I replied simply. Hiro turned to my parents and held out his hand.

"You must be Mr. and Mrs. Hikigaya then. Pleased to make acquaintance!" He said as he shook my parents' hands.

"Yes, nice to meet you as well, Yukinoshita-san! Thank you for inviting us!" My father responded.

"Of course. It's my pleasure." Hiro said, bowing. He turned to Komachi. "And you must be his sister? Or cousin?"

"I'm his sister, Komachi!" Komachi replied excitedly, shaking Hiro's hand.

"Ahh. Nice to meet you as well!" Hiro said, smiling at Komachi. Turning back to face all of us, he cleared his throat. "So, are you all enjoying your evening?" he asked. We all looked at each other and nodded our heads.

"Wonderful! I hope you haven't been waiting too long. Dinner's going to be ready in just a bit. We're having French cuisine tonight. It'll be mushroom soup followed by Coq Au Vin and we'll be having chocolate crepes for dessert. If you haven't tried it before, you're in for a real treat!" He said, enthusiastically throwing his hands in the air.

"Anyhow, after the other guests and patrons leave, I'd like you to stick around for a bit. I have an offer for you that I'd like to make in private."

My parents looked at each other somewhat surprised and turned back to Hiro. They both nodded their heads and my father spoke up.

"Alright. We'll do that." He said. Hiro smiled at us and then glanced at his watch. Appearing to be somewhat startled, he made a slight grimace.

"Oh, my. I'm running behind schedule here. Sorry! I apologize for being so brief with you, but I have to check on a couple of things and talk to my wife. I was really hoping to chat before dinner started, but I'm afraid I won't be able to." He said, bowing. As he turned to leave, he spoke to Yukino, who was right beside him. The whole time she'd been standing there, she appeared eager to talk to us but had been patiently waiting to get a word in.

"Yukino, darling. I'm sure you wouldn't mind keeping Hikigaya-san and his family company now, would you? He is your boyfriend after all." Hiro said, facing all of us and smiling. Yukino blushed a little and shook her head.

"O-of course not, Father. I'll gladly keep them company." She responded, pulling up a chair and taking a seat next to me. Hiro nodded and then took off, making his way out of the dining hall.

Looking back at Yukino, I noticed that she was still blushing a tad. Despite being nervous about the offer that Hiro just mentioned, I smiled. The expression on Yukino's face was a cute display of her usual reserved nature and seeing her act the way she was oddly calmed me down a little. I was definitely happy to see her again and glad that we'd be able to speak to each other later on. Clearing her throat, Yukino spoke up.

"Ahh, Hachi-kun… I like your tuxedo. It compliments you quite nicely." She said, smiling meekly.

"Thanks. I didn't pick it out, though." I responded, shrugging a little.

"Oh? Who did?" Yukino asked interestedly. Komachi's face lit up and she pointed towards herself with both hands.

"That would be yours truly!" she exclaimed. Yukino grinned and shook her head a little. I turned to Komachi and eyed her curiously.

"Hey, you were only rummaging through Dad's closet. You knew I'd be happy with anything so long as it fit me." I said teasingly. Komachi smirked and fired back.

"It's the thought that counts, Onii-chan. Blegh! Idiot! Dimwit! Hachiman!" she said, sticking her tongue out and poking my shoulder.

"The last one wasn't even an ins-" I said, pausing when I realized what my sister had just said. Also realizing what was said, Yukino giggled a little.

"Oh, dear. This is déjà vu." She said, turning to me. Defeated, I nodded.

"Indeed. So, how often does your father hold these sorts of banquets for charity?" I asked Yukino, changing the subject.

"Hmm… It's definitely been a while since he's held a private event for the Noboru Foundation. I think the last time he did was at least four or five years ago. It was a special event for a certain donation amount. If I recall correctly, all the funds went towards buying new equipment for different oncology centers. He was really happy then. Other than that, though… I can't remember any other time he's done something like this for his charity. I think the foundation just reached another milestone, but I'm not sure what it is. If anyone could answer your question for sure, it would either be Haruno or my mother..." Yukino said informatively.

As Yukino trailed off, I looked around and noticed that the room was a lot fuller than it was before. What was just a few was now a couple dozen people, and Haruno could be seen walking into the dining hall with her mother. They made their way towards us until they were standing directly in front of us. Haruno said something to her mother and walked out in the same direction that Hiro did just a couple minutes ago, waving at us. As her mother approached her, Yukino tensed a little.

"Ahh, Yukino. There you are. Being a good host, I presume?" she asked calmly. Yukino nodded her head and replied softly.

"Yes, Mother."

"Good."

Turning to my family, she took a deep breath and put on a hospitable smile.

"Greetings. I'm Hiro Yukinoshita's wife, Naomi Yukinoshita. You must be the guests of honor my husband was talking about." She said calmly.

"Ahh, yes. Thank you for inviting us!" My father said, practically repeating the same thing he said earlier. Yukino's mother simply nodded.

"Mhm." She replied. Looking at me and then at Yukino, she scratched her head a little. As if having an epiphany, her facial expression changed and she now looked more curious.

"Oh, you're Yukino's friend at school. I believe we've met before." She said, turning back towards to me. I nodded my head in confirmation. She continued.

"I was unfamiliar with the name Hikigaya, but I do remember your face. Anyhow, my daughter Haruno told me about your medical condition. I'm sorry to hear about it." She said, immediately switching her gaze back towards Yukino. "Yukino, dear. Have you seen your father around anywhere? I've been looking for him for the past few minutes."

"He was actually just here a few moments ago, but I think he had to go check on meal prep. He said he needed to talk to you as well." Yukino responded.

"Right. Well, I'll be on my way then. Yukino, keep our guests company during the banquet. Everyone else, I hope you enjoy your evening." Yukino's mother said, turning to my family and I before walking out. A few moments later, I heard Yukino mutter something along the lines of "that was rude" under her breath. She quickly turned to my parents.

"So, have you ever tried Coq Au Vin before?" She asked, extending the question to all of us. Komachi and I shook our heads while my parents looked at each other. My mother nodded her head.

"It's been a long time since I've had it, but if I recall correctly, I enjoyed it quite a bit." She said, a suspicious smile forming on her face. "My husband and I were actually both eating at a French restaurant during our honeymoon. I believe he ordered… What was it called again?"

My father shook his head and began laughing. After taking a few moments to settle down, he responded.

"It was the 'Steak Tartare'." He said, continuing to laugh a bit. Joining in on the laughter, my mother went on.

"Right! It was 'Steak Tartare'. He had no idea what it was, but since he felt hungry for steak, he picked randomly off of the menu and chose that. You should have seen the look on his face when the waiter came out with his plate and placed it on the table! It was absolutely priceless!" She said, her cheeks red from laughing. Yukino also began laughing.

"Oh, my. That must've been quite the shock." She said, giggling. My father nodded his head.

"It was! But, I did finish it." He responded, putting up a finger as if to accentuate what he was saying. Somewhat confused, I tilted my head a little and turned to my father.

"Err, what's 'Steak Tartare'?" I asked. My father looked at me with a dead serious face.

"Son, it's the manliest dish you could imagine. Manly in that you have to man up to finish it, that is." He said, laughing again. "Basically, it's raw meat with an egg cracked open on top. Mine came with Worcestershire sauce. It's an interesting dish, but it made my stomach crawl after I ate it. I still felt like a man for eating it, though."

I slowly nodded my head in acknowledgement and glanced over at Yukino, who was visibly less tense than she was a minute ago. Looking around, I noticed that all the guests were now seated and that Hiro Yukinoshita was walking towards the head table with his wife and Haruno, who sat on either side of him. Standing tall, he tapped his wine glass with his spoon to get everyone's attention. Clearing his throat, he began to speak.

"Can I have everyone's attention, please?"

At that, the room quieted down and everyone turned towards Hiro's table.

"We have a few honorable guests here tonight who I've invited on behalf of the Noboru Foundation. Hachiman Hikigaya is one of my daughter's friends and a Glioblastoma patient at Chiba's local oncology center where our primary chapter is located. I had the opportunity to speak with him a couple weeks ago. He reminded me of Satou-kun in many different ways and I'm happy to have him and his family with us tonight. Would everyone please raise their glasses and welcome the Hikigaya family?" He said, raising his champagne glass with a beaming smile and pointing towards my table with his other hand.

Everyone in the room turned towards us and raised their glasses. Some applauded and others gave a few hearty welcomes. The people sitting closest to my parents shook their hands. Komachi and I smiled and meekly waved at those around us. Although it was nerve-wracking to have so many people staring at us, the warm welcome from Hiro and the rest of his foundation was comforting and much appreciated. Turning back to his audience as a whole, Hiro went on.

"Dinner is about to be served. Tonight we'll be enjoying some of Satou-kun's favorite French dishes in honor of his memory. If you're curious as to what those are, it'll be mushroom soup, Coq Au Vin, and chocolate crepes. I have some great news to share with you all in just a bit, but since I'm sure we've all been waiting for a while, let's enjoy dinner!"

With that, several servers came walking through one of the halls with covered platters and began serving the guests. Each guest got a moderately sized bowl of mushroom soup and a plate with chicken, vegetables, and mushrooms that appeared to be drenched in a thick, red sauce. The food was steaming hot, so I let the plate in front of me cool off for a bit before picking at anything. The aroma coming from the plate was very appetizing. It smelled like a variety of spices, but most notably I could distinguish a bit of cooking wine. Noticing that I hadn't touched my glass of cider yet, I took a sip.

Yukino, who was also sipping from her glass, looked at me like she had something she wanted to talk about. Curious, I leaned over to her and as if she read my mind, she leaned behind me and whispered in my ear.

"Come join me on the balcony after the event is over. I want to talk to you." She said, ever so softly. I nodded my head and whispered back.

"Alright. I want to talk to you, too."

We both looked at each other and separated, both ready to eat our meals. Now that Yukino had confirmed that she wanted to talk to me in private, I felt a bit more at ease. After folding my dining cloth and carefully placing it on my lap, I picked up my spoon and began to eat. The mushroom soup, still fairly hot, was both creamy and silky in texture. The "Coq Au Vin" as it was so called tasted rich and chock-full of all sorts of fancy sauces and spices. The chicken was filled with flavor and the vegetables nearly seemed to melt in my mouth.

 _I'll be damned! This is really good!_ I thought to myself as I continued eating, picking at my soup and dish until the only thing left were chicken bones and a small puddle of red sauce.

As we ate, my parents and Yukino enjoyed a little bit of back and forth conversation. Although the topics being discussed were entirely trivial, it was soothing to listen to. My parents, who I was beginning to appreciate more time with, and Yukino, whose company I'd enjoyed for quite a long time, were eating, drinking, laughing, and enjoying each other's company. Although we were at the Yukinoshita residence instead of my house, I felt at home and I could tell that everyone else felt that way as well. After about an hour or so, Hiro stood up in his seat and tapped his champagne glass with his spoon again.

"If I could have everyone's attention again, please?" He said, waiting a few moments for the chatter around the room to die down. When the hall became silent, he cleared his throat and carried on.

"Before I say anything else, I'd like to thank you all for coming. The Noboru Foundation appreciates your service. Earlier, I told you all that I had some news to share. It's been a long time since I've gathered you all here, but tonight, the Noboru Foundation has reached another milestone."

Looking around, I saw that everyone in the room was one hundred percent fixed on Hiro Yukinoshita. Every eye was focused on him as he spoke and as he went on, I could almost feel the hall itself growing excited. Curious as to what Hiro was going to say next, I listened in, turning my right ear towards his table.

"The Noboru Foundation has been proudly serving the Chiba prefecture for nearly a decade now. However, we've branched out nearly country-wide, with chapters opening up as far as Miyagi, Hiroshima, and even Okinawa. Our philanthropic success has given old medical centers the opportunity to be able to afford state-of-the-art technology and our community outreach program has encouraged cancer awareness throughout many local neighborhoods and large establishments. It's kind of hard to imagine that this whole thing started with one man, but it did."

Pausing for a moment, Hiro looked down at his table and drew in a deep breath. Looking back up, he gave an inspired look and continued, although a bit softer.

"That man wasn't me. It was my colleague, best friend, and mentor, Satou Noboru."

A couple people raised their glasses. Seeing this, Hiro took his glass and raised it in the air for a brief moment before bringing it back down.

"Satou-kun was perhaps the weirdest man I ever knew. When we met in grade school, the first thing he ever told me was how he thought the sky was made of fish. I still remember it to this day."

Chuckles could be heard from around the room and I even noticed Yukino's mother crack a sincere smile.

"I didn't really understand what he meant by that, but something about him seemed fun and so I began talking to him more. As time went on, we found ourselves talking about all sorts of strange nonsense and we became fast friends. Nobody really seemed to understand him, but he didn't care much. He always had this aura about him that made everyone around him feel good. His happiness radiated in all areas of life, from the workplace to the deep sea to his family. When he received news that he wasn't going to have much more time to live, his joy still shined through. The fruits of his labor were seen all throughout Chiba, but his spirit was seen by every person who had the pleasure of meeting him. When he passed, that spirit was still very much alive within those who knew him."

Pausing for a second, Hiro looked at his wife, who rubbed his hand a little. The hall went silent once again and even I found myself fully engaged at this point.

"Satou-kun's spirit lives on today, shining brighter than ever through all of us, not only through the foundation, but through those who the foundation has had an impact on."

Pausing once more, Hiro's facial expression changed and the smile that he carried at the beginning of his speech came through again. Raising both hands in front of his chest with his palms up, he excitedly continued.

"Today, I am proud to announce that the Noboru Foundation has become the fifth largest cancer charity in all of Japan. With over 5 billion Yen raised and over 7000 patrons and volunteers who've served with love and compassion, Satou-kun's spirit of joy and happiness has spread further than I could've ever imagined. I would like to extend my personal thanks to all of you, from those of you sitting in this room to everyone else who has contributed towards the mission of the Noboru Foundation. I am utterly humbled by your passion and dedication. None of this would've been possible without you."

Hiro bowed and soon, everyone in the room began clapping and cheering. There was a standing ovation and even I found myself clapping. The room was bursting with pride and for a brief moment, I felt like I was a part of everything. Raising his glass once more, Hiro turned to everyone.

"At this time, I'd like to propose one final toast, in memory of Satou-kun and in good wishes for Hikigaya-san and his health."

One by one, everyone raised their glasses and made a toast. Taken aback by Hiro's speech and toast to my health, I looked around. I was in awe of the sheer enthusiasm that every person in the room seemed to be sharing. However, that same enthusiasm made me nervous as I thought about the offer that Hiro mentioned earlier. When the crepes came, I found myself absorbed in thought.

 _Is he offering money? Does he want to grant a "final wish" or something like that? Is there some sort of new treatment that he wants me to try?_ I thought to myself, periodically turning towards the Yukinoshita's main table to see what Hiro was doing.

After sitting for a while, I saw the patrons begin to leave, many greeting my family and I before walking out the front door. As they began filing out, I made a little bit of small talk with Yukino to pass the time.

"Hey, who are all these people?" I asked. "I didn't recognize most of them."

Shrugging, Yukino answered in an oblivious tone.

"I don't know any of them either, to be honest with you. From what Father has brought up before, many of them helped him set up the foundation and others were patrons who donated copious amounts of money. He never talked about them to me, though. The foundation was always a personal thing to him. It was a project that he pursued aside from work, politics, and family and he always kept to himself about it."

"Ahh, I see." I replied simply.

As the last of the dinner guests left, the meal crew came back and picked up the glasses and silverware, carrying them away on carts and trays. By now, the only people left in the dining hall were my family and the Yukinoshita family. Walking over and bringing a chair up to our table, Hiro Yukinoshita greeted us again and sat down.

"So, did you enjoy dinner?" He asked with a smile on his face. My father smiled in return and nodded his head.

"Certainly! It was absolutely delicious. Once again, thank you for inviting us. It was most appreciated." He said.

"Of course, of course! Like I said, it was my pleasure to have you here. I thought you might enjoy it!" Hiro said cheerfully. Haruno and Yukino's mother pulled up their own chairs and sat off towards the side of the table.

"Anyways, I'm glad you all stuck around after the dinner ceremony. As I mentioned earlier, I have an offer I would like to propose to you, the Hikigaya family."

My father slowly nodded his head and I turned my ear towards Hiro, listening carefully to what he was going to say next. Clearing his throat, Hiro went on.

"This offer is strictly confidential. I am not presenting this to you on behalf of the Noboru Foundation nor do I expect anything in return if you accept or decline."

Folding his hands, Hiro looked at his wife who nodded in return, and turned back to my family and I, his face now straightened.

"I would like to offer to cover the expenses of Hachiman's treatment from this point onward. If you accept my offer, I will personally pay for all of his medical expenses, from regular check-ups to medication to any further operations that may need performing. You won't have to shill out a single Yen and you'll be under less financial pressure."

With a more generous look forming on his face, Hiro suggestively raised his left hand and carried on.

"I understand that when medical crises like the one you're going through right now arise, you get placed under a great deal of stress and often times it takes its toll on everyone in the family. I would like to help in alleviating this if possible. After all, worrying about the medical issue itself is very taxing, let alone carrying the financial burden that comes with it."

There was a lingering moment of silence as my parents looked at one another, taken aback by the proposal that Hiro had just laid in front of them. Komachi stared at my parents, while Haruno and Yukino's mother seemed to be looking in no particular direction. Dazed, I simply sat in place and began to subtly fidget with my hands. Looking to my side, I noticed that Yukino was looking at her mother with a concerned expression. Slowly, Hiro continued with a suggestive tone in his voice.

"If you need time to consider, I understand. My offer has no time limit and if you wish to think it over for a while then please do so by all means."

Hiro Yukinoshita's offer was quite the deal for my family. My parents had been working overtime for a long time and they'd barely saved enough to be able to come home earlier from work to spend time with their kids. I wasn't exactly sure what kind of situation my medical expenses were putting them in since they never talked about it, but I imagined that the extra load was pretty hefty. A financial break would make things much easier for them. That being said, my parents were also firm believers in dignified self-sufficiency. That isn't to say that they wouldn't accept help if they absolutely needed it, but they always kept their affairs and concerns to themselves.

It was nice to know that Hiro was willing to lend a hand. He seemed like a genuine, caring person who was driven by an honorable pursuit. I admired how he was both courteous and concise with the delivery of his proposal. However, something still felt off-kilter and I was having trouble wrapping my head around what that was. Perhaps it was the fact that Haruno and Naomi Yukinoshita were present when the offer was laid out. On that note, maybe it had something to do with the concerned look Yukino made while staring at her mother.

It made sense for Hiro to have his wife and elder daughter present while discussing a matter like this since they were closely involved with his work. He'd waited until everyone else had left to discuss the matter, so confidentiality was of clear importance to him. He'd even stated so himself. But if that was the case, then what felt so strange?

After a little while, my parents looked at each other and nodded briefly before turning back to Hiro. My father took a deep breath and looked down a little before looking Hiro in the eyes.

"We're extremely grateful for the offer and we're overwhelmed at how caring you've been, but we have to decline. We wish to cover Hachiman's expenses on our own. I'm very sorry if this disappoints you." My father said, standing up and bowing.

Hiro solemnly acknowledged my father's response and put his hand forth, nearly touching my father's hand.

"I understand, Hikigaya-san. I respect your decision. Thank you for hearing me out." He said, smiling softly. "If you ever decide to change your mind, I'm more than happy to help."

At that, Yukino's mother got up and placed her chair back where she got it from. Hiro and my father shook hands once again and Yukino's mother walked out of the dining hall silently. Both my parents started exchanging pleasantries with Hiro. Haruno stood next to her father as he congenially chatted with my parents. Pushing their chairs in, my parents and sister stood up and grabbed their belongings.

"Feel free to stick around a little longer if you wish. I have no qualms with it. After all, you are my guests of honor." Hiro said, holding out an arm. My parents looked at each other and turned to Hiro, shaking their heads.

"I'm sorry, Yukinoshita-san, but we should probably be going now. Thank you for your hospitality. It means a lot to us that you support and care about our son. We won't forget it." My father said politely.

"It's my pleasure." Hiro replied, holding out his hand. He and my father shook hands and then we all began to walk out of the dining hall.

Haruno quickly walked over to Yukino and whispered something in her ear. Turning to my parents, she spoke up.

"I believe Yukino-chan wants to talk with your son for a while." She said, sneaking a sly smile towards Yukino and I. Raising his brow, my father turned to me and then looked at Haruno.

"Oh? Well, I suppose we can wait." He said, glancing at his watch to check the time. Yukino looked at me and pointed her head towards the balcony that overlooked her backyard. As I looked back at my parents, my dad nodded at me and I made my way up the stairs. As I walked up, I could hear Hiro and my parents talking once more.

"I hope my daughter isn't causing you any trouble by keeping you and your son here."

"Oh, no. It's quite alright."

"Would you like anymore champagne? We have quite a bit left over."

"No thank you. We still have to drive home…"

As Yukino and I walked out onto the balcony, Yukino shut the windowed doors behind us. For a moment, the two of us stared at each other with blank faces, almost unsure of what to do or say. Yukino sighed and placed her hand on the railing of the balcony, looking towards the guest house. After a few seconds, she broke the silence.

"Did you notice how my mother was acting tonight?" She said, still facing the yard. I moved closer to her and looked down at the persimmon tree sitting in the garden. After taking a breath, I responded.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Now that I thought of it, Yukino's mother was acting a bit strange the whole evening. She seemed preoccupied when she came to my table and almost flat-out ignored my family aside from a brief acknowledgement. She was probably busy with a lot of things since she was helping host her husband's charity dinner. Still, after hearing my parent's response to her husband's proposal, she left the room without saying a word to anyone. Now facing me, Yukino spoke, a half-angry, half-worried tone in her voice.

"She was incredibly rude to you and your family. I almost couldn't believe it! She was even told that you were guests of honor, but that didn't stop her from showing her usual disregard. I really wish she wasn't so closed-minded about people she doesn't know, but she's so damned stubborn."

Looking away, Yukino sighed and placed her other hand on the rail, leaning on it and staring off into the backyard again. Shaking her head, she continued.

"I'm sorry, Hachi-kun. There's a lot I wanted to speak to you about, but I still can't shake off my mother's demeanor. If you and your family weren't here as designated guests of honor, she would've been much more curt and inconsiderate. She probably would've been hurling insults at your parents towards the end. I know what she was thinking…"

As Yukino trailed off, I thought about what she meant when she said that she knew what her mother was thinking. It wasn't much surprise that Yukino's mother wasn't exactly fond of people she was unfamiliar with. I'd witnessed this firsthand on more than one occasion and although her mother had never verbally attacked me, she did speak to me in a cold, condescending tone. Add to that my parent's response to Hiro's offer to pay my medical expenses and there was now a reason for her to dislike me. I definitely understood Yukino's concern and to an extent, I felt it as well.

Sensing Yukino's anxiety, I stepped next to her and put my hand on the rail, looking out into the backyard again. I put my other hand around her and pulled her in ever so gently. Startled, Yukino gasped, but leaned into me, loosening her grip on the balcony rail. We stayed like this for a minute or so, just looking at the yard and staring out into the night sky. After a little thought, I spoke up.

"Hey, I know you're worried, but I'm still here." I said in an attempt to offer some comfort. Yukino shook her head and looked me in the eyes again with a morbid look on her face.

"That's just the thing. When my mother finds out that we're more than just friends at school, she might try to separate us. If that's what she wants, she'll play dirty to do it. She'll manipulate things within the family so that I'll never have time to be around you. It would be easy for her. She'd hardly have to lift a finger." Yukino said, resting her head on my shoulder.

"But your father still supports us. He's happy for us, you know. He told me that in person. I have faith that he'd keep us from being separated if it came down to it." I said, stroking Yukino's hair, following the waves with my fingertips.

"I know that, but I can't help worrying. The thought of being pulled away from you cuts deep." Yukino said, now embracing me with one of her arms. Taking a deep breath, I placed my chin on the top of Yukino's head.

"I know what you mean. It's that feeling of helplessness that you get when you know that you can't do anything. I've known that feeling all too well." I said with a large sigh.

"Hachi-kun…"

"When I first heard that I was afflicted with brain cancer, I shut down completely because I didn't know how to react. Everything just became dull and gray. Nothing really seemed to matter anymore. But then I realized that there were people who still cared about me. You were one of those people. After a while, I began to worry. I began to worry about how I'd handle the weight of my ailment every day. I began to worry about how everyone would feel if I were to suddenly wake up one morning and have an aneurysm. After that night at your apartment, I worried that I might have destroyed both our friendships with Yuigahama."

I paused, looking up at the sky. Turning my gaze to the constellations as if to search for some sort of celestial wisdom, I took in a breath of fresh air and went on.

"I worried about everything that was out of my control for the sole reason that it was out of my control and that there were indeed circumstances that I couldn't predict. But worrying never changed anything. It made me anxious and prevented me from functioning properly. It ate away at me for a while. After your father spoke to me in the hospital, I learned one important thing, and that was not to worry. It takes willpower to handle overwhelming situations one step at a time, but at the end of the day, I'm a lot better off than I was when I obsessed over what I couldn't control. Although life is short and sometimes very painful, it's much more satisfying when you view it through a bright lense. Those were your father's words."

"My father said that to you?" Yukino asked, a hint of surprise in her voice.

"Yeah, when he visited me in the recovery ward. Ever since he spoke those words to me, I've done my best to follow them every day."

The two of us stood, gazing out at the night sky together. Enjoying the calm that swept over us, we listened to the soft echoes of the occasional breezes that blew through. Looking at Yukino, I could see the moonlight glimmering off of her eyes. Her dress seemed to glow in the light and as she leaned into me, I could feel her slender form. Returning my gaze, Yukino nudged me.

"Last week, Haruno stopped by at my apartment during the evening. It was after she spoke to you during club hours."

Nodding my head, I motioned for Yukino to continue.

"At first, I thought she was there on my mother's behalf to berate me or give me some sort of instructions, but she just came by to speak. She even bought some groceries and we cooked dinner together. It was… a pleasant surprise." She said, chuckling a little.

"While she was there, we talked a lot and caught up with each other. It was strange, but refreshing. I can't recall the last time we actually ate and laughed together. The strangeness of the whole thing made me realize that I'd never really gotten the chance to bond with her."

Yukino's smile died down a little bit as she gazed out into the open stoically. A pensive look formed on her face.

"I'm still glad she came, though. It's been far too long since we've actually gotten the chance to talk like sisters should. On a similar note, you and I haven't had the opportunity to talk in a while either."

Yukino paused for a moment as if to think of what she wanted to say next. Patting me on the shoulder, she spoke up again.

"No, that's not exactly right. We've talked a lot in club and in passing, but… I can't exactly put my finger on it-"

"You mean we haven't had the opportunity to talk like this." I said suggestively.

"Exactly. I want to hear from you. How's everything been?" Yukino asked. Looking her in the eye, I breathed in.

"Well, it's all been pretty good for the most part. Home life has been peaceful lately. After I get home from treatment, we all sit down and eat dinner as a family. It's nice since we haven't really done that before. Usually, Komachi just goes on about her day while my parents and I listen, but it's relaxing." I said, smiling. Yukino gave me a smile as well and giggled. Touching my forehead as if to inspect something, she asked another question.

"How's your health been?" she asked.

"I feel fine as of now. My hair's been growing back a little thin as you can probably tell, but other than that I don't feel any major side effects from treatment just yet. I've been put on this new exercise regiment, though. My doctors want me to be in the best possible physical shape I can be, so I've started running and working out in the mornings. It kind of sucks since I have to wake up early to do it, but hey. That's how these things work."

"I see. I'm happy for you. I feel better knowing that you're doing alright. Thank you for telling me." Yukino said, running her hand down the side of my face. "You know, we haven't done anything together yet. As a couple, that is. I know your schedule is extremely hectic given club business, treatment and school work, but I want us to try."

I nodded my head in agreement and placed my hand over Yukino's.

"I know. I'd like to as well." I said simply. "Do you have any ideas?"

Yukino pulled back and began to chortle. Moving back towards me, she wrapped both her arms around me and placed her head on my shoulder again. She sighed.

"Funny. Usually the boyfriend is the one who comes up with these sorts of ideas." She said teasingly, poking me in the ribs.

"Hey, now. I'm not the most outgoing boyfriend in the world, you know. These sorts of things are foreign to me." I said, laughing in the process.

"I know, I know." Yukino replied.

Suddenly, an idea popped into my head.

"Going by that train of thought, you should stop by my house every so often for dinner. My parents wouldn't mind at all and I'm sure Komachi would love to have you around. It would be fun. Plus, we'd have more time to study and talk about club business." I said.

"Hmm, if that's going to be the case, you should visit me at my apartment every once in a while as well. We could make dinner together and enjoy a movie."

"Sure. As long as it's not Pan-san, you have yourself a deal." I said, smirking at the end.

Yukino stepped back and flicked me on the forehead, giving me a fake glare. I pulled my head back and started laughing again when I noticed Yukino moving in. Placing both arms around me, she drew even closer and propped herself on her toes. I almost flinched for a second as she moved so close that I could feel her breath on my chest. When we were eye to eye, she hesitated for a brief second and then pecked me on the lips. Letting go of me, she stepped back and looked away. I could see her blushing and promptly, I began to do the same. Facing the night sky, I moved back towards Yukino and placed an arm around her, looking out at the night sky once more. She tapped me on the shoulder and meekly spoke up.

"H-hey. That was my first kiss, you know." She said semi-nervously. Chuckling, I leaned in and pressed my lips against her forehead.

"It was mine, too." I replied.

Yukino and I held each other, staring at the stars in the sky and listening to the breeze and the few cicada that chirped sporadically. Tonight was definitely an interesting night. I learned a lot and got to enjoy the company of everyone around me. There was no shortage of awkward moments, but there were also plenty of joyful ones to go around. From hearing Hiro speak about his foundation to seeing my parents turn down his offer to having a meaningful chat with Yukino, tonight was without a doubt a rich night. I wasn't exactly sure what would happen in the future or whether I'd be able to enjoy the rest of my days, but one thing that I did know was that I was enjoying myself now. Right here, right now, at this very moment, I was happily stargazing with Yukino, and that's all that mattered.

 **A/N:**

 **Hey, guys! Bronze V Lee Sin here again! I hope you all have enjoyed the story thus far. The last chapter was a pain for me to write since there was so much to account for, but I think it got things moving in the right direction. I know that many of you have commented on a lack of romantic interaction between Hachiman and Yukino, but believe me when I say that I've been thinking about it too. It's been on the front of my mind as I've typed out the past couple chapters. The romance between these two is still burning strong and will continue to grow and develop over time in each of the future chapter updates. I'm still debating on whether or not I should throw some fluff in (or whether or not having Hachiman x Yukino fluff would be appropriate for the type of fic I'm trying to write), but if anything, I'll play it by ear and do what feels best. I know that the integrity of this story has gone up and down like a roller coaster since I first started writing, and to be honest, this whole thing has been a massive challenge. However, the vision that I started with hasn't changed one bit and I have confidence that this fic will be able to wrap up even stronger than it started. For those who've stuck with me all this way, I give you my thanks and hope that you'll finish this journey with both Hachiman and I. That being said, Bronze V Lee Sin out! Hikuu!**

 **P.S. If you haven't checked out "Maturity" by Lose, I highly recommend that you do so. It's by far one of the best, most down-to-earth fics ever written for the Oregairu series. If you haven't read it already, you're seriously missing out.**


	15. Chapter 14: Making Strides

Chapter 14: Making Strides

 _Ahh, Fridays…_ I thought to myself, my arms folded above my head and my chair tilted on its back two legs.

Ever since I was a kid, Fridays had always been my favorite day of the week. It didn't matter if I was seven years old or seventeen years old. Hell, it didn't even matter that I now had brain cancer. The promise of the weekend was always refreshing and today was definitely no exception. The past week, although fun and entertaining, was filled with hard work. Early morning runs and workouts were no joke and schoolwork was starting to become a little more challenging. Although I was a little less lost in math class, I had trouble remembering all the rules involved with doing calculus. Every time I saw a squiggly line with numbers on the top and bottom, I felt as if my head were about to explode. I could almost swear that this stuff was developed to torture students like myself. Yukino visited my house a couple times to help cook dinner, which felt like a saving grace. Her company was nice and she even studied with me, helping me work some of the trickier math problems.

My treatment schedule hadn't changed at all. I was still visiting the oncology center after club every day to receive radiation therapy. A couple days ago, I began to feel dryness in my throat. When I spoke to my radiologist about it, I was told that it was normal, but that it probably wouldn't go away all too quickly. I began drinking more water and tried a few home remedies which proved somewhat effective. Today's treatment was going to be the same as any other days', but with one exception: I was having my first regular CT scan done shortly after. I was nervous about the whole ordeal, but at the same time I knew that it was just standard procedure and kept calm about it.

As I looked outside the clubroom window, I noticed that the flower petals that once flew in the breeze were replaced with brightly colored leaves. Afternoons were getting cooler than they were just a few weeks ago and it was starting to get dark much earlier. The last remnants of summer were fading away and the fall season was beginning to take hold. For many people, this was a gloomy, purgatorial time; it was no longer summer, but at the same time it was far too early for winter break. Although I was impartial to the seasons, I could understand why people thought that way and might have even felt similarly myself. Nonetheless, the year was progressing and seasons were changing. That much was obvious. Yawning, I turned back towards Yukino and Yuigahama, who were enjoying their usual back and forth banter.

"…grew up listening to classical music. My father always enjoyed listening to Romantic pianists like Tchaikovsky, Chopin, and Schumann while my mother enjoyed Baroque-period instrumentalists, particularly Bach and Vivaldi. I never really cared much for either musical taste, but I did respect the artists and composers for being as impactful on music today as they've been." Yukino said, holding out her hand suggestively. Yuigahama merely looked in her direction, a little perplexed.

"So what do you listen to now?" she asked curiously.

"I'm a large fan of jazz and jazz fusion." Yukino said, crossing her arms a little. "I don't particularly enjoy pop music, although I will admit that some of it is pretty catchy."

Yuigahama giggled and teasingly patted Yukino on the shoulder.

"Ooh, that's fancy, Yukinon…" She said. "So, do you listen to rock music? You're good at playing the guitar."

Yukino shook her head.

"No, not much at all. My parents placed me in guitar lessons when I was young. I've actually always wanted to solo over modern jazz, but alas, I fear that my proficiency isn't high enough for me to be able to do so impressively. Most jazz compositions today are very complex in structure and utilize all sorts of unorthodox chords and scales compared to jazz music from several decades ago. I suppose I'll get it eventually, but it's going to take time and practice." She said, getting up from her seat and walking towards the edge of the room. She carefully pulled her tea set out of its box and reached over to her bag, pulling out what appeared to be her homemade tea mix. As she checked the water in her kettle, the clubroom door opened.

A frantic Iroha stumbled in, panting and pretending to pout. As Iroha began walking to the front table, I put my chair down on all four legs and straightened my uniform. Iroha was probably here to request help with organizing the Winter Festival. I was actually surprised that she hadn't come in earlier asking for help since she had already let us know that our assistance would more than likely be needed. In any case, she was here now and from the looks of it, she probably had a good idea of what she was going to need help with.

Iroha placed her hands on the table, facing Yuigahama and I.

"Senpai, I really need your help this time!" She exclaimed, bringing herself obnoxiously close to me. Yukino crossed her arms and faced Iroha with a rather unamused look on her face.

"Isshiki-san, I believe we've been through this before. _Inside_ voices, please." She said, sighing and shaking her head.

"Right, right. Sorry once again." Iroha said, frantically bowing and facing all three of us.

I leaned back in my chair and placed my elbow on the table in front of me, scratching my chin musingly. Curious as to what Iroha's exact request would be, I took the initiative.

"So, what do you need our help with?" I asked, trying to add a hint of courteousness.

A clearly flustered Iroha took a deep breath and sighed. Looking at me with a small grimace, she began.

"Oh, boy. Well, I have a little favor to ask of you guys. It has to do with the Winter Festival, but there's a lot to it." She said, looking down at the floor earnestly.

Yuigahama stood up and gestured towards the stack of chairs sitting in the back corner of the room.

"Do you want me to get you a chair?" she asked with her usual thoughtfulness.

Iroha nodded and a couple seconds later, Yuigahama brought a chair over, placing it in front of the main table. Seeing the weariness in Iroha's expression, Yuigahama patted her on the back before returning to her own seat. Iroha sat down and scooted in a little, her posture a little more rigid than usual.

"Thanks for the chair." She said, briefly smiling at us. Yukino interjected for a brief moment and offered us all tea, to which we all happily accepted. Iroha took a small sip and cleared her throat.

"So, I've managed to put together a group of people who'll serve as an organization committee for the Winter Festival. So far, they've been divided into three groups: one who'll be dealing with budgeting, one who handles sponsors, and one that'll be in charge of materials, designs, and decorations. I'm pretty happy with what they've been able to do so far as individual groups, but that's where I'm having a problem. The three groups in the committee can't seem to agree on anything and since they keep arguing, nothing's really been accomplished in the grand scheme of things. If things keep going like this, we're going to have a big problem."

Iroha let out another big sigh before slouching back in her chair and staring at the ceiling for a couple seconds.

"I'm kind of lost and I need some sort of advice to help keep this whole thing from falling apart."

Taking a sip of tea, I scratched my head. This isn't the first time Iroha had run into trouble working with a committee. Last year's encounter with that air-head Tamanawa came to mind. This year, however, Iroha was in charge of the entire committee, which placed the burden of responsibility directly on her if the Winter Festival wasn't a success. Even if she had experience dealing with this sort of issue, the stakes were a lot higher for her and stress levels were likely to skyrocket as the event planning continued.

Yukino came back to the table and filled our teacups again, placing the kettle on the table on top of a flowery placeholder. She raised her hand suggestively and spoke up.

"It sounds like the committee is having a communication breakdown. You said that you separated everyone into three groups?" Yukino asked, raising her brow.

Iroha nodded slowly. Yukino straightened her hair and seemed to ponder for a moment, a discerning look beginning to form on her face.

"Did you try to coordinate the groups at any point in time? As in, did you try to bring them together to discuss logistics and arrangements?" She asked.

Iroha brought her finger to her chin, thinking about what Yukino just asked her. She shrugged her shoulders and responded.

"I've tried to get them to work with each other, but they keep bickering about what we should be prioritizing. That's in part why they haven't gotten anything done. I mean, they all have good ideas, but they can't seem to come to an agreement when making those ideas work together." Iroha said, shaking her head bleakly.

Yukino stiffly nodded and replied with another question.

"Have you spoken to the three groups individually to try and gauge their priorities?" She asked. Iroha shook her head with a long face. Yukino nodded understandingly and continued.

"Well, that would probably be a good start. If anything, you might want to merge the groups in charge of budgeting and sponsors since their jobs are directly linked with one another." Yukino said, holding her palm out.

Feeling an idea pop into my head, I pointed my finger to the ceiling and decided to throw in some two cents.

"You should also have everyone meet together on a regular basis to discuss what their priorities are so that way you know what's going on with all parties involved. Also, if they want to debate which ideas to consider, they'll have the time to do so where everyone can hear. Don't forget, though. You're the one in charge of this thing, so you're the one who'll get to decide what flies and what doesn't." I said, putting a little emphasis on the end. Yukino and Yuigahama nodded in agreement.

Even though Iroha was having a bit of trouble, I had to admit that she put a decent amount of her own thought into organizing the upcoming festival. She had definitely come far from when she was originally placed into the role of student council president and had since developed into a suitable leader. Dividing the committee into dedicated groups was without a doubt a good call, as the people in each group could focus on a narrow range of tasks and responsibilities. It was almost divided up like a presidential system, with different groups handling different types of duties. However, for a presidential system to function there needed to be checks and balances and of course, an active president.

Iroha took a sip from her tea cup, gazing ponderously at the wall. As she did so, Yukino spoke up again.

"If you need our assistance, we're glad to help, Isshiki-san. Organizing a large event isn't an easy task by any means and we don't mind lending a helping hand once more." She said.

Iroha quickly nodded in acknowledgement and placed her cup back on the table.

"Thanks! I'll try to take your advice for now and see what I can do, but if things get really hard to deal with, I'll let you know. It'll probably get really hectic once we start actually setting up, so I might need your help then." Iroha said, a confident look forming on her face.

As the club period continued, all four of us discussed different approaches to handling the festival committee, which currently seemed to lie in discord. Iroha carefully listened and assertively threw out a few ideas of her own, gaining a better grasp of what she was planning on doing as she talked more. Yukino and I made a few suggestions concerning seeking sponsors while Yuigahama tossed in a couple banner design concepts.

In a way, I was kind of proud of Iroha. Before, she'd come barging into the clubroom, nearly dragging me by the hand whilst asking me to solve her problems for her. It was slyly cute, but eventually became emotionally taxing for the both of us. I knew that much after staying with her after her heartbreak at Destinyland. Now, she was attempting to be independent and do as much as possible through her own means, which was respectable and admirable. Instead of asking for the Service Club to intervene on her behalf, she asked for advice and intended on using it to the best of her ability. Seeing her mature like this was rewarding, sort of like slowly observing a seed sprout out of the soil.

We all spent a good amount of time discussing Festival preparation and after a while, Iroha's demeanor became much more lively and playful. Although still under the pressure that her position gave her, she no longer seemed incredibly troubled or frustrated. Having a level discussion with her was an enjoyable experience; I daresay I'd even call it fun. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, and after a decent amount of time had passed by, it was time for me to leave.

Sighing, I looked over at the clock and turned to the other three, who were still going back and forth with Festival ideas. Reluctantly clearing my throat, I spoke up.

"Hey, guys. It's that time again. It's probably best that I get going now." I said simply, pushing in my chair and picking up my bag.

Yukino and Yuigahama nodded while Iroha looked over, somewhat confused.

"Oh, where are you going, Senpai?" she asked curiously.

"I have to head over to the local oncology clinic to get my regular treatment done. It's for- well, you know." I said, shrugging my shoulders at the end.

Iroha nodded understandingly. As I walked out the door, I could hear Yukino and Iroha talking to each other.

"He usually has to leave about 30 minutes early to make it to the clinic on-time." Yukino said.

"Ahh, I see…"

After a short bike ride and a few steps through the sliding glass doors of the oncology clinic, I found myself back in the usual routine, being walked down a narrow hallway towards the room with the big, funky-looking machine. As I laid down on the table, the technician went into the backroom to calibrate the equipment. As everything was getting set up, my mind drifted and I found myself thinking about my upcoming CT scan once again.

It didn't matter how many times I tried reminding myself that it wasn't anything to worry about or obsess over. Stubbornly, the topic always found a way to pop back into the forefront of my conscience and now that it was merely a few dozen minutes away, I found myself thinking about the possible results. It wasn't like I automatically assumed a worst-case scenario. If the treatment went as planned, the little spots of cancer would end up shrinking and my chances of survival would increase by a modest, but respectable margin. However, the possibility of a new tumor sprouting up or treatment proving to be ineffective was also there. As much as I'd like to say that Hiro Yukinoshita's words had a massive impact on me, I couldn't help but feel slightly unnerved. I suppose it was perfectly natural to feel this way, all things considered.

As I continued to lie on the table spacing out, the hum of the machine started up and quickly faded into the background. I almost didn't even notice that it had started. I'd grown so accustomed to hearing the damn thing that it almost didn't register in my conscious brain. In a way, that was probably a good thing. It gave me peace of mind instead of racking my brain, which helped me ease up slightly as I lost myself in thought.

After several quick minutes, the mechanical whirring stopped and the technician came back into the room, smiling and giving me a thumbs up. Picking my feet off the table and placing them on the ground, I stood up and began walking towards the main office. As I took step by step, I began thinking about how my life in general had grown quite busy lately.

Not counting the fiasco of my medical crisis, I'd taken up a new exercise routine, become more active in club activities, put forth a more intense effort in academics, and started something special with Yukino. In the past, I would've fallen face-flat trying to deal with any more than two of these things, but now the busyness and hectic atmosphere seemed commonplace. I could feel a bit of exhaustion, but it was nothing in comparison to what I felt when I initially found out about my cancer. Hence, it was manageable and I was less prone to acting foolishly like I might have say, a year ago.

When I made it into the main office, I took a seat and crossed one of my legs over my lap, waiting to be called into the outpatient ward. Letting out a wearied sigh, I slouched and let my head rest on the back on the chair. Doing my best to channel my inner zen, I closed my eyes.

I'd noticed that Yukino seemed a tad worried recently. There were slight hints of it in her voice when she spoke in club and when she came over to my house to eat dinner and study with me. I knew that she was a little apprehensive about her mother's outlook on my family and that she was concerned about my health. Such was to be expected, really. However, I felt that she was trying to keep the extent of her worries toned down when she spoke to me. It didn't bother me per say, but it did add to my list of anxieties.

At any rate, I didn't make it all this way to freeze and cower just because I was faced with a little discomfort. With all that I'd been through, I'd like to think that I'd grown into a more resilient person. I was going to be strong, for the Service Club, for my parents, for Komachi, for Yukino, and most importantly for myself. I was going to face my fears and my challenges head on without holding back or hiding anything.

 _We'll sort it out somehow…_ I thought to myself, growing a little drowsy.

Just then, I heard my name being called over the intercom.

 _Alright, let's get this over with._ I thought hastily, getting up and walking towards the front counter.

 **A/N:**

 **Hey, guys! Bronze V Lee Sin here once again. I've been out of commission for the last couple of weeks due to work and administrative school stuff. I didn't have much time to write, but things have cleared up a bit for the foreseeable future. While writing this last chapter, I did a bit of looking back on some of my older chapters and found myself a little displeased with a lot of beginner mistakes that I made (a couple formatting goofs, some grammatical errors, etc.) While I'm happy with the progress that I've made with my story overall, I do feel that a revision is due for some of the earlier chapters. I'll more than likely get around to that when I finish the story, but for now I'm focusing on where I'm at currently. Don't worry, I'm not going to be changing the entire story around. I'll just be fixing some mistakes and adding some much-needed detail in certain scenes to capture the essence I was looking to capture.**

 **In other news, I'm ecstatic to see that lose has returned with his newest chapter of "Maturity". lose, thank you for the kind PMs and I wish you the best of luck in the rest of your writing endeavors. I'm definitely going to be looking forward to whatever you put out next!**

 **In response to the guest who just recently left a review, I am almost at an utter loss of words. Not many people have taken the time to give thorough feedback on my story, so I very much appreciate you taking the time to write out as much as you did. It's actually scary how close some of your concerns were to my fears on the weak areas of this story. As you mentioned, I know that my screw-up in the earlier chapters kind of shafted me from being able to build the romance to the extent that I had planned. That's a big part of why I'm planning on making some changes once I finish this beast.**

 **I'll admit, I started neglecting the romantic aspect of this story when I saw that I wasn't doing enough to evolve Hachiman's character as a whole. However, romance was a very fundamental part of the vision that I had when I started writing and it has become a bit of a bitch to manage. However, in upcoming chapters, you can expect for Yukino and Hachiman to have a lot more intimate conversations and tender moments together. With the recent surge of old writers coming back, I've noticed that the Oregairu fandom has grown and become more active and by proxy, I've picked up a lot of new readers. Although I'm thankful for this, I'm also a little nervous on how a lot of them are going to react to some of my more mediocre chapters. In any case, I'm not going to give up on this and I intend on giving this story my all until it's completed and perfected.**

 **Bronze V Lee Sin out! Hikuu!**

 **P.S. I actually quit playing League a while back. I'll always be a Bronze player at heart, though. Terrible Vayne mains unite!**


	16. Chapter 15: Making Strides Pt2

Chapter 15: Making Strides Pt. 2

Doing my best to maintain a steady pace, I briefly flinched as a couple raindrops hit my eye. I took short, controlled breaths while my feet pounded the ground at a constant rhythm. The pattering of the continual downpour almost seemed like an endless metronome. It was strange, but oddly relaxing.

As I continued my morning run, I quickly looked down at my wristwatch and checked my time. I was about fifteen seconds ahead of pace from the last time I went running, which was a small but reasonable improvement.

I have to say, even after hitting the pavement hard for a couple weeks, I wasn't magically getting faster or feeling a whole lot better at the end of my runs. By the time I'd get home, I would still be panting hard and feeling drained. However, my times were slowly but surely improving and I was beginning to feel less fatigued as I hit the final stretch of my runs. Physical conditioning may have been hell at first, but with enough persistence, it was definitely effective.

As I took another stride, I felt a cold, wet sensation on my lower legs. Looking to see what it was, I grimaced and made an unhappy grunt. I had just stepped in a muddy puddle.

 _Oh well. We'll throw the pants in the wash when we get home._ I thought to myself, keeping my feet in line.

The CT Scan last Friday went according to schedule and I ended up getting home about an hour later than I normally would. One thing about the scan results that surprisingly annoyed me was the amount of time it took for them to come out. If I recalled correctly, the results from the scan at the hospital took only a day or so to process. I guess I was expecting the same kind of timing at the oncology center, but due to the way the infrastructure in the outpatient ward functioned, scan results and documents took much longer to make their way to the patient. This was more than likely due to the fact that they had to pass through a lot more people, but it didn't change the fact that the process itself felt painstakingly slow. Here I was, a week later, still waiting on the results.

Thankfully, my oncologist let me know yesterday that the results would be in today and that she would be discussing them with me. An electronic copy of the results would also be sent to my parents and I via e-mail, which was convenient. I was still ticked nonetheless, as the suspense that came with waiting an extra few days for the results to essentially work their way through an incredibly inefficient filing system was not a fun ordeal to put up with. Nerve-wracking was probably a good way to describe how it felt.

Over last weekend, Yukino and I spent some quality time hanging out as we studied with Yuigahama and lounged around with Komachi at my house. Having her around definitely took the edge off of the wait, which I appreciated greatly. Embracing the spirit of my new exercise routine, my dad bought me a discounted membership to a local gym that was right across the street from where I lived. I quickly learned that if I went there early enough in the morning, I'd be able to work out in solitude without anyone there and began setting my alarm clock a little earlier on the mornings I went there. On the same note, I got in the habit of drinking protein shakes after my runs and workouts. They tasted like hay and made me pass gas a little more than I would've liked to, but they were definitely filling and made me feel less crappy overall. My throat still felt scratchy and irritated as a side effect to my radiation treatment, but I managed to get by just fine.

Today, I'd end up having to skip a majority of club in order to make it to what was scheduled to be an earlier-than-usual appointment at the clinic. After going through my usual radiation treatment, my oncologist would discuss the results of my CT scan with me and I would leave somewhat early compared to most days.

What I was looking forward to the most, though, was this evening's study session at Yukino's apartment. After I'd arrive from my appointment, the club would gather together again to eat dinner and (hopefully) get some studying done.

Smiling at the thought, I found myself drawing close to the latter half of the last kilometer. Although the rain had died down a little bit, my jacket was still soaked and I still had mud on my fleeces. Somewhat irritated, I picked up my pace. As I rounded the corner of the street, I saw my house in sight and broke out into a near sprint with what little energy I had remaining. My lungs almost felt like they were on fire, but my feet refused to quit moving. Tunneling in on the finish line, I could feel my breathing getting thicker and thicker. Every fiber in my body was begging me to stop, but with the end so close, I decided to speed up. I could hear my heart beating in rapid thuds.

 _Almost there. Almost there._ I thought to myself as I passed my neighbor's house, arms now swaying in a wide fashion.

Finally, I passed my driveway and hit the stop button on my stopwatch. Wheezing like an old man, I stared at the time and smiled. The digital numbers on the screen read 24:32, a 34 second improvement from my last run. I had finally broken a 5 minute-per-kilometer pace, a goal that I set to beat within a month of the start of my routine. I was only three weeks in, meaning that I somehow managed to accomplish this goal ahead of schedule.

Wiping the sweat from my forehead, I walked towards my front door and fumbled with my house keys for a second. Unlocking the door, I walked inside and went upstairs to take a shower.

The school day went by as expected. I went to classes, jotted down notes, and helped Yukino and Yuigahama hold the fort in club. As I went about my daily routine, I could feel a bit of anxiety and apprehension.

To be honest, I wasn't completely sure of why the CT scan results were causing me to fret so much. I could feel my stomach twinge whenever I thought about getting them. Regardless of how they'd turn out, I'd be glad just to have them so I could put any uncertainties to rest.

About 45 minutes after club started, I headed out and eventually arrived at the clinic. After a couple minutes of waiting, I walked down the long hallway again and received my daily treatment dose. After another quick ten minutes, I walked back into the waiting room and patiently waited for a few.

Just then, I looked over my shoulder and saw my oncologist walking into the waiting room. Waving, she walked towards me.

"Ahh, Hikigaya-san. There you are. I was looking for you under the assumption that you were still receiving your treatment for the day, but it appears as if you've finished already." She said, approaching me and holding out her hand.

I shook her outstretched hand and stood up. Gesturing towards the hallway with her head, she started walking.

"I have your CT scan results prepared in my office." She said as we walked down the hallway. I nodded and continued walking with her until she opened the door and stepped inside, taking her coat off and setting it on her chair.

After she sat down, she began working with her computer, intermittently looking over at the projector screen on the wall. As she clicked away, she began asking me some questions, her head still facing her computer screen.

"So, how have you been feeling lately, Hikigaya-san? Noticing any discomfort or unusual symptoms?" She asked, her mouse hand working furiously.

My attention shifted to the scratchiness in my throat and I answered.

"Yeah, my throat's been feeling a little irritated for the past two weeks or so. The radiologist told me that it would last a while, but that it would feel a little better if I drank water and tea. So far it's helped." I said.

"Irritated throat… That sounds pretty typical. No skin irritation?" My oncologist asked, typing something out.

"No." I replied simply.

"Have you exhibited any speech difficulties, physical incoordination, or wavering depth perception?" She asked, picking up a remote and pointing it towards the projector.

Confused, I shook my head and answered.

"No?" I said, surprised by the nature of the question. My oncologist turned towards me and held her free hand in the air as if to make an explanatory gesture.

"The only reason I was asking was to make sure that there weren't any unnoticed complications that may have developed after your surgery." She said, clicking furiously again with her hand back on the mouse. "Have you been keeping active like I suggested?"

"Yes. I've been running 5 kilometers three times a week and I just recently got a gym membership." I said, recalling this morning's exhausting run in the rain.

My oncologist turned her head and smiled at me in approval.

"Good, good! The better your health and fitness are, the better off you'll find yourself." She said, pointing her remote at the projector again.

After fumbling with the projector, she turned back to her computer and opened a few image files, dragging one of the images onto the projector screen. After she centered the image, she turned back towards me.

"Alright, Hikigaya-san. This is the CT scan that was taken shortly after your tumor removal operation. Do you see this tiny little cluster of blurry spots?" She said, zooming in and pointing to a small region on the projector screen.

Squinting my eyes, I looked closely and nodded my head.

"Those little spots are the remaining bits of your tumor that were left after the tumor itself was removed from your frontal lobe." She said, pointing her index finger in a circular motion around the region she was referring to.

After a couple seconds, she took the image out of focus and dragged another one on top, which I recognized as the CT scan that was taken before the surgery. Placing the two images next to each other, she moved her hand back and forth between the two.

"As you can tell from the pre and post-operational scans, a vast majority of the big tumor was removed. I'm just showing you the two side-by-side so that you have an idea of how small the region of concern is now. If the tumor itself weren't removed, you'd likely be on the brink of death by now and your symptoms of memory loss would've escalated dramatically. It's actually pretty amazing how effective surgery is nowadays thanks to precision technology. Anyhow, let's show you the results of last week's scan." My oncologist said, zooming back in on the first image and taking the second one off of the screen.

After a few moments of clicking, dragging, and panning, there were now two magnified images sitting side-by-side. Squinting even harder than I did a minute ago, I tried to make heads or tails of what I was seeing, but gave up after a couple unsuccessful attempts.

 _The hell am I even looking at now?_ I thought to myself, scratching my head and raising my brow in confusion.

"I can tell that you look a bit puzzled, but don't worry. I'll explain what we have here on the screen and if you have any questions after, feel free to ask me." My oncologist said, reaching for her remote.

She pointed it at the wall, presumably to test the laser pointer. After confirming that it was working, she turned back towards the projector screen and pointed the laser at one of the images.

"The image on your left is your post-op scan and the one on your right was taken last week. I have them cropped to show the same region of your brain. As you might be able to see, many of the spots in the left image can also be seen here on the right image. A couple of them appear to have slightly changed in shape, but overall, everything looks fairly static." She said, pointing at the little blotches with the laser pointer on her remote.

"What this means is that there haven't been any noticeable changes between when you started your treatment and now. It's possible that the remaining tumor bits could be resisting the treatment, but more than likely the reason for what you see here is the fact that you haven't been receiving treatment long enough for any immediate results to be seen. Every Glioblastoma case behaves differently. The important part is that the tumor remnants haven't drastically grown, and that's always welcome news. As you continue your treatment, we'll see how well we can eradicate these little spots and gauge your oral chemotherapy from there on."

I sat back in my seat a little bit, trying to process everything. Even though the technical explanation of my results was being dumbed down so that I could understand it, I was still overwhelmed at the sheer amount of information that had just been dumped on me. I sat for a moment, trying to gather my thoughts. Shooting my head up, I took a deep breath.

"What does my prognosis look like?" I asked, the hairs on my neck standing up.

My oncologist put her hand on her chin.

"Well, it's hard to say, really. Glioblastomas are incredibly aggressive and unpredictable, so it's hard to make any sort of long-term prediction or prognosis. The original prognosis was just a rough estimation based off of your age, lifestyle, and cancer type. What I can say, though, is that you seem to be doing alright for the time being. I'm fairly confident of that much."

Pursuing the topic further, I asked another question.

"Are you saying that my condition is capable of going south at any moment, even now?" I asked, my inner fears beginning to seep out.

My oncologist folded her hands on her table and looked me in the eye.

"I'm not going to lie when I say that it's a possibility. That happens to be the nature of the beast we're dealing with. However, we tend to focus on current progress rather than morbid curiosity since it gives us a better idea of how well we're treating your case specifically." She said, narrowing her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she continued.

"Keep your head up, Hikigaya-san. I know it's not easy, but remember. We're in this together; you, me, your friends and family, and all the staff here."

I quietly nodded. My oncologist unfolded her hands and rocked back in her chair.

"Are there any other questions you have for me or would like to ask me?" She asked, straightening her coat.

I shook my head.

"Alright, then. That settles our appointment for today. Get some rest this weekend and keep up the good work on your personal fitness. You're due to see me again in a couple weeks." My oncologist said, getting out of her seat and holding out her hand.

"Got it. Thank you." I replied, getting up and shaking her hand. Shortly after, I turned towards the door and walked out.

I left the clinic feeling ambivalent. I hadn't really received any news aside from the fact that it was too early to say anything about my condition yet, but part of me felt uneasy. Perhaps I could chalk it up to a bunch of repressed fears that were bringing out my inner, cynical demons. It wasn't like I was accustomed to being placed in a situation like the one I was in. Even though I was doing my absolute best to move forward with grace, old habits die hard and in this case, had the potential to manifest themselves in an even more hideous form than before.

I didn't exactly have a very comprehensive medical knowledge, so anything my oncologist or doctor told me would be complete news. I'd already had the nature of my condition explained to me before, but when it was put forth in a manner as clear as what my oncologist had put forth today, it took me off guard. Anything could happen and at any given point in time, I could receive black and white news that I was going to die VERY soon. Combined with the stresses and responsibilities of everyday life, it was becoming increasingly difficult to deal with.

After making the short trip to Yukino's apartment, I stopped myself before ringing the buzzer. I took in a breath of fresh air and made a quick resolution.

 _Alright, Hachiman. Let's just chill for now. Tonight's going to be fun._ I thought to myself, reaching for the button. Shortly after it rang, I heard Yukino through the intercom.

"Hachi-kun, is that you?" She asked.

"Yeah, it's me." I replied.

"Come in."

With that, Yukino buzzed me in and I made my way over to her front door. After knocking a couple times, Yukino opened.

"Hey, I'm glad you made it. I apologize if my apartment is messier than usual." She said, giving me a hug and brushing me on the cheek with her hand. "If you don't mind, could you remove your shoes? It was raining heavily this morning and the ground outside is still wet."

After slipping off my shoes and placing them by the door, I followed Yukino into her living room. Her study materials were already set up on the coffee table and her bag was sitting to the side of her sofa. I casually placed my bag next to Yukino's and laid my arms across the sofa. Yukino went into the kitchen and grabbed some chinaware. As she came walking back into the living room, I realized that Yuigahama wasn't here. When Yukino placed the tea cups and saucers on the table, I turned to her.

"Hey, Yukino. Where's Yuigahama?" I asked curiously.

For a brief moment, I thought back to THAT afternoon when Yukino had me over. Unlike then, Yukino had discussed this afternoon's study session with both of us, so Yuigahama was actually supposed to show up.

Yukino looked up at the ceiling for a moment before returning her gaze to me.

"Hmm… Yuigahama had to take her dog to the vet since her mother got home from work late. She should be coming soon." Yukino said, reaching in her pocket.

I furrowed my brow.

"You sure?" I asked suspiciously.

When Yukino pulled out her phone, she made a few taps and sliding motions before showing me the screen.

"Yes, I'm fairly confident. Here, take a look." Yukino said, handing me her phone.

On the screen was a single message that was received from Yuigahama roughly an hour ago. It read:

Sender: Yuigahama-san

Message:

Sorry I had to leave right after club ended, Yukinon! Sable had a vet appt and I had to take him since my mom was late getting home from work. Don't you guys eat dinner without me! *_*

 _Well, that's unmistakably Yuigahama…_ I thought to myself, smiling and shaking my head.

After I handed Yukino back her phone, she went into the kitchen once more and returned with a pot of familiar-smelling tea. She plopped down next to me and filled both of our cups. Taking a whiff, I grinned and nodded contentedly.

"You've taken a liking to that mixed brew." I said, bringing my cup to my lips and sipping slowly.

Yukino chuckled.

"I have. I have. The sharpness of the Earl Grey balances out well with the smooth qualities of the peppermint and the bright hint of cinnamon. It's absolutely delicious. Definitely my new favorite." Yukino said, casually placing her cup back on its saucer. Dabbing her mouth with her hand, she yawned and paused for a moment.

"So, how'd your appointment go? If you don't mind me asking of course." She asked.

I sighed and answered Yukino's question.

"Well, treatment was pretty short as usual. After I got done with that, my oncologist walked me through last week's CT scan. It was fairly standard stuff." I said, scratching the back of my head. "Nothing's really changed since my operation. It hasn't been that long since I started radiation, so the CT scan didn't really show anything new. At least that's what I think my oncologist told me."

Yukino took another sip of tea and nodded quietly. For a couple of moments, we sat in silence and enjoyed each other's company. After finishing my cup of tea, my eyes wandered around the room, focusing on nothing in particular.

A while back, on the crazy night that Yukino confessed to me, I promised Yukino that I would be upfront and honest with her about what I was feeling. I had also promised myself that I wouldn't hold anything back or keep anything bottled up. Although I didn't want to ruin anyone's evening, I knew that Yukino would be fine with me getting a couple things off of my chest. A twinge of nervousness ran through me and as if she could read my mind, she cleared her throat and spoke up.

"Hey, Hachi-kun. Is something bothering you?" She asked gently.

I sighed once more and returned her gaze.

"No, not really. There's nothing wrong. I just feel a little restless since things are moving about so quickly." I said, half-admitting my current state of mind.

Yukino inched closer to me and started rubbing my shoulder.

"You can talk to me about it if you wish. I'll listen." She said with a quick smile.

Soothingly, I took a deep breath and began.

"Okay. Well, there's nothing that you wouldn't already know. There's just been a flurry of new circumstances that I've been put under and it's been a wild ride. Everything's happened so fast that I've hardly had any time to fully react or process what's hitting me. I've gotten used to it, but there's something that scares me every time I take the time to try and make sense of it all."

Pausing for a moment, I looked at the floor pensively.

"Ever since this whole medical ordeal started, I've noticed that I've made a lot of positive, productive changes in my life and rearranged many of my old habits. My grades have improved, I've started making progress in my health and physical fitness, I've started bonding with my family, I have you here with me now… I almost want to say that I feel like a brand new person."

 _But that could be easily shattered._ I thought to myself.

"When I spoke to my oncologist today, I was reminded of how things could change for the worse at a moment's notice. I've been aware of this since the beginning, but the gravity of the reality itself didn't really hit me until now. I fear death just as much as any other person, but what I fear most right now is losing my mind. I've been doing my best to uphold what I learned from your father when he spoke to me, but I'm afraid that-"

I shook my head and let out a sigh with my lips parsed.

"I'm afraid that if things actually go south that I might damn everything I learned and fall back to where I began."

After uttering the last part, I sat in silence, staring at the stitching in my socks. Yukino leaned over and placed her head on my shoulder. Looking at her, I placed my arm around her and sat peacefully for a few moments. With her head still resting on my shoulder, Yukino responded softly.

"Hachi-kun. Even though I can't possibly fathom what it's like to be in your position, I want you to know that I'm always here for you, in more ways than one. You've done a lot for me and I care for you more than you can imagine."

I nodded my head in acknowledgement.

"Thanks. It means a lot to me." I said, patting Yukino on the head and holding her close.

She continued.

"If things go south, I'll stick with you to the bitter end. I'll make sure that you don't lose sight of everything that you've accomplished and worked for. I'll be by your side, showing all the love and support that I can. You have my word and my bond on that."

Once again, we found ourselves sitting in silence. I felt a little relieved being able to get everything off my chest. Although talking about my circumstances didn't change anything, being able to discuss it helped me ease my conscience. It was nice. Deep down, however, I knew that I'd only discover how I'd react to shit hitting the fan once shit actually hit the fan. There'd be no telling how I'd take it, but at the very least, I'd have someone very special backing me up.

After a couple minutes, Yukino raised her head and broke the silence.

"You know, I just spoke to my mother on the phone last night. I couldn't believe it at first, but I was actually wrong about her all along." She said. Instead of making the concerned look that I was expecting, she actually smiled.

"What do you mean?" I asked curiously.

"She's always been uptight about the people her family has around as company, but she doesn't feel negatively about you. She already had an idea of what was going on between us the moment she heard about your condition, but she never said anything."

Yukino paused for a second and chuckled.

"You want to know what she said? She feels the same way about you that my father does and respected your family's decision to reject his financial assistance. She said that it was understandable given the circumstances. Mother never got after me about choosing to be with you because she appreciated my decision to stand by you in your time of need. She told me that it reminded her of Father when he stood by Noboru-san and everyone he managed to support when doing work for his foundation. Of course, she was also gravely concerned about my decision to stick with you because she feared that it would detract from time that I could otherwise be dedicating towards studies and professional matters. She made a point of stressing that.

"However, she told me that she was letting go of the reins for now because she was trying to respect personal boundaries. I was pretty shocked to hear that, you know. For the first time I could remember, we actually saw eye to eye."

I sat wide-eyed while listening to Yukino. Her relationship with her mother seemed like it was strained for the longest time, but for now, things were beginning to smooth out between the two of them.

"I'm glad." I said simply.

Yukino and I exchanged a pleasant smile. Just then, the bell rang. Yukino and I looked at each other expectedly and Yukino went to answer the ringer. After some slight static, I could hear Yuigahama's voice coming through the intercom.

"Hey, Yukinon! I'm here! I brought some snacks with me too!" She exclaimed.

Yukino pressed the button on the intercom and buzzed the entrance.

"Come in, come in! It'll be all three of us today." She said, walking to the door.

When Yukino opened the door, a rather excited Yuigahama waltzed in and gave her a hug, almost twirling the two of them around in a full circle. Yukino cleared her throat.

"Could you place your shoes by the door please?" She asked. Yuigahama nodded and took her shoes off, placing them next to mine. She plopped herself on the other side of the sofa and set her bag on the floor.

The three of us spent the next few minutes relaxing and enjoying some of Yukino's mixed brew. Yuigahama pulled out a large bag of rice crackers, which we all happily shared until Yukino got up to prepare dinner. As Yukino was cooking in the kitchen, I helped Yuigahama review for the language section of the entrance exam that she was preparing for, occasionally snagging a few rice crackers. After a little while, I could smell a delightful aroma coming from the kitchen. Yuigahama and I decided to walk over and see what Yukino was making.

"Oh, that smells good, Yukinon! What are you making?" Yuigahama asked, sniffing the air.

Yukino, who was busy cooking, called out from the stove area.

"Chicken Katsudon. It'll be ready in a few."

After assisting Yuigahama with her test prep, I cleared off a portion of the coffee table so that Yukino could place our dishes. For about half an hour, we sat around the table, happily eating dinner and laughing amongst ourselves about funny requests that had come up in club recently. Yukino's cooking was superb as usual and by the time we were finished eating, none of us felt hungry or unsatisfied.

When dinner was finished, we spread out our books once again and began studying the most tedious subject in the world, math. As Yuigahama and I weren't exactly experts at this, Yukino led this portion of the study session and walked us through a few of the assigned problems that our teacher had given us in class.

Scratching her head, Yuigahama looked over at me and looked back and forth between our papers.

"Hikki, you got the opposite of what I got. Why did you say that the series diverges?" She asked, furiously tracing through her work with her pencil.

"Uhh, I got that the nth term of the sequence was 1. Did you get the same?" I asked, my math-rattled brain beginning to feel fatigued.

"Yeah, I got the same thing. Since it's not infinity doesn't that mean that it converges?" Yuigahama asked, her face showing signs that she was beginning to get flustered.

"Nah, unless the nth term of the given sequence is zero, its series is going to diverge. At least I think that's what we went over…" I said, flipping through my textbook as I trailed off.

Yukino interjected, nodding her head.

"Indeed. Hachi-kun is right on this one. You can think of the nth term of the sequence kind of like the last possible term that doesn't branch off into an infinite number of terms. So if you have that many terms, but it doesn't close in on zero, the sum of all the terms in the sequence is going to add up to either positive or negative infinity depending on the nature of the sequence, which means that the series diverges." She said, explaining the logic behind the solution that we had come up with.

Yuigahama closed her textbook and marked her page with her pencil. Smiling wearily, she looked at Yukino and I.

"This is hard, y'know. My brain is starting to hurt. I think we should take a break." She said, reaching for her tea cup, which was sitting on the side of the coffee table.

I raised my finger suggestively.

"I'm going to have to second that, actually. We've been at this for a while." I pointed out, following suit and tabbing the page in my textbook before closing it.

Yukino acquiescently nodded and neatly stacked her textbook on top of her other study materials.

"What should we do in the meantime?" She asked.

Putting her teacup down, Yuigahama giddily clapped her hands and excitedly spoke.

"Oh, I know! We should talk about something fun!" She declared, looking up at the ceiling for a moment. As if a lightbulb went off in her head, she looked at Yukino with bright eyes.

"Have you two gone on any dates yet?" She asked with a devious look on her face.

Yukino and I looked at each other, blushing for a second, before shrugging our shoulders. I turned to Yuigahama to answer her question.

"Well, not exactly. She's been over to my house for dinner a few times with my family." I said, a flat look beginning to form on my face.

Yuigahama shook her head and laughed a little.

"Silly Hikki! That's not what I meant. Have you two actually gone out together yet?" She asked.

Without changing my facial expression, I shook my head and looked over to Yukino, who was also beginning to chuckle at this point. Yukino scooted over towards me and prodded my shoulder repeatedly while teasing me.

"No we haven't, but I believe we've talked about it before, haven't we, Hiki-boring-kun…"

Yuigahama continued laughing while I raised my brow and exaggerated my expression, which made my facial features spread out almost in the shape of a tetris block.

"Hey, now. I did say that these sorts of things were foreign to me. Doesn't mean that I can't think of anything if I need to." I put forth, lightly poking Yukino's cheek in return.

Yukino's face turned red at my reaction and she turned towards Yuigahama, who was laughing hysterically at this point. After settling down, Yuigahama spoke up again.

"You know, if you need any ideas, I'm glad to help." She said earnestly. "Personally, I think you two should go someplace nice, but out-of-the-way. Someplace where you won't have to deal with a lot of other people… It's a lot better that way."

Yukino nodded her head.

"I think that's a good start, actually. Unfortunately, it's hard to find any upscale venues that aren't constantly crawling with people, and my LEAST favorite type of people at that." She said, adding the last part with a hint of contempt.

Yuigahama hummed to some unbeknownst tune, presumably thinking to herself. After a brief moment, she tilted her head to the side and sighed.

"Hmm… Well, it doesn't have to be expensive to be nice. I was thinking of someplace enjoyable and uhh… intimate." She said, unsure of her choice of words.

Slightly intrigued and slightly apprehensive, I raised my brow and looked back and forth between Yuigahama and Yukino. Yuigahama seemed to be thinking about what she just said and Yukino was looking down, face buried in her hands.

 _Did she mean a love motel?_ I thought to myself humorously. _Nah, even Yuigahama wouldn't be that cheeky…_

From what I could tell, Yukino was thinking of the exact same thing that I was and now that she was looking up, her face was once again flush and brightly colored. Yuigahama noticed this and immediately waved her hands in the air, only now picking up on what she might've implied.

"Oh, no, no, no! I didn't mean that! Not yet at least." She said, an embarrassed look on her face.

The last part didn't seem to help very much, as Yukino awkwardly began scratching her ear in an attempt to hide her own embarrassment. Yuigahama continued meekly.

"I mean, when you two are ready, then… y'know… But I was talking about going someplace nice and quiet, like a low-key family restaurant or something."

I mentally took a step back and looked at the situation unfolding in front of me.

 _How did we get from taking a break from math to thinking about love motels…_ I thought, the idea growing funnier by the second.

I shook my head and chortled, acknowledging Yuigahama by waving my hand in the air in a vertical motion.

"You're fine. I mean, your wording was kind of dubious, but I agree with the sentiment. Any place we don't have to deal with a lot of people is definitely one to consider, right?" I said, shrugging my shoulders and glancing at Yukino, who nodded in agreement.

Deciding to add a cheeky idea of my own, I looked at Yukino casually and made the same flat face that I was making earlier.

"You know, if we're looking for a place that's not crowded, there's always the place that Hiratsuka-sensei took us a while back. The rame-"

"Out of the question." Yukino replied nearly instantaneously, snapping out of her discomfiture. "No ramen."

At that, Yuigahama and I started chuckling together and Yukino made a flat, unamused expression of her own. Pondering to herself, she continued.

"Hmm… You got me thinking, though… There's this small Korean BBQ place nearby that offers half price all-you-can-eat on Saturday afternoo- hey, Hachi-kun. Are you busy with anything tomorrow?" She said, an idea seemingly forming in her head.

I shook my head.

"Nope. I'm free. Treatment is only on weekdays and my family's not planning anything." I said.

"It's a date then!" Yukino exclaimed happily, almost uncharacteristically. She looked at me with a grin on her face.

"I can't believe I'm the one who asked you… You'd think it would be the other way around." She said teasingly, poking my shoulder again.

"Meh. You had a good idea and I didn't have any reason to decline." I replied simply.

Yukino smiled and laughed to herself while I slouched back on the sofa, defeated by Yukino's wit, but content nonetheless.

The rest of the evening went by in a relaxing fashion. Although we tried to get back in the groove with math, it just wasn't coming to us and we eventually resolved ourselves to spending the remainder of our time idly chatting and lounging while drinking tea. We'd done plenty of studying anyways, so it wasn't that big of an issue. An hour or two of less series analysis wasn't going to kill us. When it got late and we started to get tired, Yuigahama and I said our goodbyes and left. Yukino texted me telling me that she'd let me know what time to meet her tomorrow and when.

When I got home, I quietly tiptoed to my room and started getting ready for bed. I almost felt like I was going to fall face flat on the floor and start snoring on the spot. Lucky for me, I had one of my signature 108 skills: autopilot mode. After showering, brushing my teeth, and changing into pajamas, I hopped into bed and began to lose myself in the throes of slumber.

Today gave me a lot to think about, from having my CT scan results shown to me to having a heart to heart talk with Yukino to setting up a date for tomorrow afternoon. I felt uncertain about my future as a whole, but at the very least, I was excited to enjoy some quality one on one time with Yukino. When I thought back to how Noboru-san was described to me, I couldn't help but question how he must've felt as he was coping with his illness. He probably dealt with nervousness and fear at some point, but managed to keep it under control well enough to accomplish what he did in his leadership position. As much as I'd managed to accomplish in my own way, I still had a lot of room to grow as a person.

 _Will I finally be able to make sense of everything before biting the dust, whenever that happens?_

No idea.

One thing was for sure, though: for now, everything was going well. That was enough to help me sleep peacefully.

 **A/N:**

 **Not much to say here, actually. I'm still actively writing, but I'll take a moment and respond to a review from last chapter.**

 **Hey, scaruffles! It's nice to know that you're still with me. I know that most of my reviewers dropped off the face of the earth when I went on hiatus, but you still seem to visit from time to time. I appreciate you taking the time to leave your reviews, as it's useful feedback and it lets me know that I'm not throwing chapters into an empty echo chamber.**

 **About your concerns, I can completely understand why you'd feel the way you do about the past several chapters. Hachiman has been through a wild ride (that's not anywhere near over yet) and now that things are smoothing out for the moment, it seems like several components of the story have come to a standstill. I'm not going to spoil any details, but the events of the story are indeed building up to something further down the line. It'll make much more sense when the story is finished, but for now, things are merely coasting along.**

 **The writing style of Oregairu was one of the things that got me into writing a fic of my own for it. Since Hachiman is always constantly in his head, you get kind of a glimpse into his psyche as he deals with trauma and goes about his daily life afterwards. While this gets dull and boring, it does set the stage for much more impactful scenes later on when Hachiman refers to his own thoughts (both during trauma and during his more mundane moments). The hope is that if you've been able to see into Hachiman's thoughts and experiences (even during his everyday life), you'll empathize with him to a much greater extent when the heat turns up and he experiences strong emotions again in a dire situation.**

 **I agree that economic, functional writing (in terms of scene-developing and buildup) makes for the most effective drama. However, pure drama wasn't what I was going for in this series, as I was aiming more for a SoL approach that would highlight standard moments from your typical high school male who now happens to have brain cancer. Realism and immersion were some of the key elements I was looking to incorporate when going into this story, and they still are.**

 **There will definitely be more heavy drama coming up in the future, and with the arsenal of knowledge that I've acquired over the course of writing this story, I intend on making it as powerful and profound as I can. I'm actually a bit excited to get to those parts, but in order to get the execution down, there's a bit more that I have to cover at a slow pace.**

 **Once again, thank you for the review! As always, you got me thinking and as a writer who enjoys discussing and refining his own material, it's very delightful to see. I wouldn't be able to grow otherwise. Cheers!**


	17. Chapter 16: A Delectable Date

Chapter 16: A Delectable Date

As I opened my door and stepped out of my room, Komachi clapped her hands and squealed with delight.

"You look amazing, Onii-chan! You could pass for a real lady-killer!" She exclaimed.

Looking down at what I was wearing, I made a small grin and shook my head. I didn't look bad by any stretch, but at the same time I wasn't wearing anything I wouldn't normally be wearing. It was just a t-shirt, some jeans, and a pair of sneakers… And one of my dad's old bomber jackets that Komachi happened to pull out of his wardrobe. In all honesty, the jacket was pretty nice. Despite how old it was, it still smelled of authentic leather and it fit me surprisingly well. It was warm, too, which would definitely be a plus later in the evening.

As Komachi buzzed around me, checking each and every angle of the jacket to see if it fit properly, I did a pocket check.

 _Phone, keys, wallet… Alright, we're set._ I thought to myself, checking the time before I slide my phone back in my pocket.

 _2 PM on the dot. An hour until we're supposed to meet up. Looks like we're doing alright on time._

Komachi looked at me excitedly.

"So, where are you and Yukino-chan going again?" She asked curiously.

Scratching my head, I replied.

"She never told me the name of the place, but it's a restaurant near her apartment." I answered with a raised lip and a shrug. "Anyways, I don't think she'd mind all that much if I wasn't on time, but I should probably head out anyways."

Komachi pouted for a brief second and then patted me on the back.

"Aww, okay then. You'd better tell me all about it when you get back!" She said, walking with me as I headed to the front door.

I smiled and patted her on the head.

"Will do." I said, casually strolling outside.

The bike ride to Yukino's was relaxed and easygoing. Although I was met with a moderate headwind, my stamina had increased substantially and pedaling through it felt like nothing. Yesterday afternoon's talk and study session also helped put my mind at ease. As I rode along, I noticed that I wasn't in my head like I usually was; a nice feeling to say the least. After a seemingly short ride, I locked my bike on the rack by Yukino's apartment and texted her that I was there. Momentarily, Yukino came down and greeted me with a warm embrace.

"Wow, Hachi-kun. You're actually on time today." She said with a smirk, poking me on the cheek.

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?" I replied, returning the gesture.

Shortly after, I chuckled to myself and shook my head.

"So where to?" I asked.

Yukino pointed down the street with her hand.

"The restaurant is a couple blocks north of here." She replied.

As we strolled in the direction that Yukino pointed out, we held hands and chatted about trivial matters. Over the last couple weeks, Yukino and I had gotten into the habit of teasing each other and doing cutesy stuff. It was almost funny, considering that neither of us were really the type I would've imagined doing that sort of thing. Past me from a couple years ago would've looked at current me disparagingly and made some sort of snarky comment about "being blinded by youth" or something similar. Yet, here I was, indulging in some typical couples' activities with Yukino and having a jolly time.

After walking a little ways, Yukino directed us to a small, lone building with a sign that was written in Korean. As we walked in, I took a look around.

A few paintings hung from the walls and there were several booths, each with their own cooking stations and commodities. The tables and chairs looked worn, but didn't really seem to aesthetically detract from the environment. A few families sat around their stations enjoying their meals, and from the entrance of the restaurant I could hear the crackling of cooking meat on the grill. Despite the fact that we were here during peak hours on a half-off day, the restaurant wasn't incredibly busy or packed in any sense. I couldn't exactly figure out why, but this place seemed to have a homely vibe to it.

After standing at the front counter for a few seconds, we watched as a middle-aged woman wearing an apron walked over from one of the tables and greeted us.

"Welcome! Table for two?" She asked, grabbing a couple menus from underneath the counter.

With a funny look on her face, Yukino winked at me and latched on to my arm, remaining silent. After a couple seconds, I caught on to what she was doing and almost let out a small chuckle. Turning to the waitress, I nodded and answered.

"Oh, uhh yes please." I said.

The waitress nodded and gestured us to one of the empty stations. When we arrived, Yukino and I sat next to each other and the waitress went to prepare the station for cooking.

As we sat at our comfy little booth, I glanced at Yukino, who was reading through the menu.

"So, what are you going to be getting?" She asked, noticing that I wasn't reading the menu very intensively.

"Bulgolgi and beef tongue. I always get that when I eat Korean barbeque." I replied with a sturdy smile.

Yukino tilted her head to the side and raised her brow.

"Is that so? I was going to order the exact same thing actually." She said, an amused expression on her face.

"Really? I figured you would've ordered small portions of at least 5 different meat cuts given your sophisticated tastes." I said, making my tetris face and trying not to giggle.

Yukino nearly snorted and let out a hearty laugh.

"Oh, no, no. Whenever I eat barbeque, I always order the same two meats. I've done so since I was a little girl." She said, lightly punching my shoulder.

The waitress came back with an equipment tray and took the cover off of the cooking station. After placing down some metal grating and serving Yukino and I two cups of water, she turned on the burner. Swiftly, she took out a notepad and wrote our orders, which were identical. After jotting in her notepad, she bowed and headed towards the kitchen.

Once more, I turned to Yukino, who was now sipping some water.

"So, how'd you find out about this place?" I asked curiously. "I've never heard of it before, but it seems like you have."

Yukino gently placed her cup down on the table with both of her hands.

"Yes, I've actually been here a few times before. My father took me here on a couple occasions when I was very young. Since then, I've made a habit of visiting from time to time." She said, a small smile on her face.

"Ah, I see." I replied simply. "So, what brings you back here every so often? Is it the sentiment or the food?"

Yukino scratched her head before replying.

"Hmm… I guess I'd say that it's a combination of both. It brings back a lot of good memories and the meats are well-prepared for the cooking. Good question, though. I've asked myself that before."

Just then, our waitress came back with a couple large trays of meats and placed them on the end of our table. After she left, I placed a few slices on the grill and listened as they hit the grating with a crisp sizzle.

"Wow, that was really quick." I said, commenting on the lightning fast service.

Yukino nodded and started flipping a few slices of her own.

"Indeed." She responded.

For a few moments, we watched as the meats cooked on the grill and whisked them off onto our plates before they roasted to a crisp. The appetizing smell of the meat seasoning permeated my nostrils and made my mouth water. As we went back and forth, Yukino cleared her throat and spoke up.

"So, Hachi-kun, how have things been at home lately? Without me there of course." She asked, winking at the end.

Playing with a medium-rare piece of meat that was dangling from my chopsticks, I looked up at the ceiling and pondered for a moment.

"It's been pretty good. As you know, my parents come home from work early to have dinner with Komachi and I now. It's been good having them around. As weird as this may sound, it's like I'm getting to know them all over again. Komachi always likes to tell us about her day at school and sometimes my dad vents about work." I said, rolling my eyes and chuckling a little as I finished.

"I'm happy to hear everything's going well on that front. So, have you heard anything interesting from your dinner conversations?" Yukino asked, taking a bite of beef tongue and rice.

I paused for a moment and thought to myself.

"Well, hmm… I guess that all depends on what you find interesting." I stated honestly, shoveling some bulgolgi into my mouth.

Yukino laughed and waved me down.

"It's alright if you haven't. I'm sure you're just glad to have them around more often." She said earnestly.

"Yeah, definitely."

At that, we sat in silence and continued to eat. Every now and then, one of us would crack a small joke, but for the most part, we enjoyed each other's company and the surprisingly tasty meat in front of us.

Roughly a couple hours and several platters of meat later, our time was up and we walked over to the front desk to pay. Although Yukino was fairly insistent on paying the bill, I eventually convinced her to split it after a small amount of prodding. As we mozied our way out of the restaurant, we took note of our satiated appetites.

"Wow, that was quite the meal." I pointed out. Yukino nodded in agreement.

"Indeed it was." She replied simply. "Say, we should eat here again sometime, Hachi-kun. What say you?

"Yeah, that would be nice."

Taking a look around, I noticed that the sun was still out and that the streetlights hadn't even turned on yet. I wasn't exactly sure what Yukino had planned next or if she even had anything planned, so I decided to wing it and come up with one of my own. Tapping Yukino on the shoulder, I made a suggestion.

"Hey, you wanna just stroll around for a little while?" I asked sincerely.

"Sure. Where do you want to go?" Yukino responded.

"Anywhere, really."

With that, Yukino shrugged her shoulders and we began walking towards a nearby park. A small flower blowing in the wind got caught in Yukino's hair. As she moved her hand to brush it away, I plucked it and put it behind her ear. Somewhat surprised by my gesture, Yukino gasped, but left the flower sitting where it was. A funny idea popped into my head and although I was certain it would make Yukino uncomfortable, I decided to take a chance and go for it anyways to see if I could spark something interesting.

"Hey, Yukino. Last night at your place, when we were talking with Yuigahama, I noticed something." I started, a grin forming on my face.

Yukino looked at me half-perplexed and half-curious. She responded with a brief utterance.

"Oh?"

"It's nothing bad." I said reassuringly. "When we were talking about date ideas and Yuigahama brought up an _intimate_ place, you were the first one to dip your head a little. I was thinking that you were thinking of something quite devious…"

Finishing with a brief raise of both eyebrows, I smirked and watched as Yukino looked down at the ground. I half-expected her to briefly push me away or glare at me, but what happened next ended up taking me off guard.

Yukino brought herself close to me until our hips bumped and gently wrapped her arm around my neck. Softly, she whispered into my ear.

"Oh, is that so? Perhaps it was just your imagination…" She said, almost nibbling my ear as she trailed off.

My jaw almost dropped. I definitely wasn't expecting that kind of reaction. Stunned, I sat quietly for a second before Yukino burst into laughter and patted me on the back.

"You should've seen the look on your face, Hachi-kun!" She exclaimed, snickering until she was out of breath.

"Oi. I thought I was the cheeky one here." I replied, shaking my head.

"No, no. I saw that one coming from a mile away." Yukino replied, waving me down.

"Darn." I said, making a flat face.

Feigning disappointment, I let my hands fall to my sides and slouched. I wasn't going to be defeated so easily, however. Doing my best at forming another grin, I looked Yukino in the eyes again and continued.

"Well, then… If it was just my imagination, then what _were_ you thinking of?" I asked suggestively.

Yukino returned the same look that I was making.

"I was thinking about the insinuations that an unruly beast such as yourself would be making after Yuigahama unintentionally brought about an innuendo." She replied swiftly as if to bring about another humorous battle of wits.

I chuckled lightly. Oh, it was on.

"Oh, so you were deep in thought about what I was thinking and you also fancy me an unruly beast." I said, raising a finger in the air.

"Of course, it's no surprise that a primitive barbarian like you would have lewd thoughts at even the slightest allusion." Yukino replied, flicking her head upward.

"Well, being the unruly beast that you know me to be, I wouldn't be able to help myself."

"Of course not."

"Ahh, so that's why you reacted the way you did. Perhaps the mention of a lewd insinuation provoked a couple fantasies about this unruly beast."

"Well, that's besides the poin- wait a minute…"

At that instant, Yukino froze and her face turned beet red. Both flustered and embarrassed, she hilariously tried to maintain her poker face.

 _Checkmate!_

"Why, you- Alright, alright. I concede to your cheekiness, _Cheeky-gaya-kun_." She said, putting an emphasis on the name.

I almost wanted to delve into her slip of the tongue, but I merely kept walking, satisfied with my victory. Getting Yukino worked up like this was amusing, but at the same time there was something rather soothing and endearing about it. It was cute and seeing it made my brain tingle a bit. Wrapping my arm around Yukino, I kept us strolling until I spotted an empty bench.

Staring out into the distance, Yukino and I sat down. The sun was beginning to set and the beautiful mix of hues began to display themselves in the sky. The trees around us swayed back and forth slowly with the breeze. For a couple minutes, we sat there just relaxing and enjoying the view. Although watching the sun set was plain and dry, having someone special nearby definitely made it an enjoyable experience.

After a while, Yukino sighed and looked me in the eyes, a soft gaze showing.

"Hey, Hachi-kun." She said everso tenderly.

I returned her gaze curiously.

"Yeah?" I responded.

"Do you want to know how I fell for you?" She asked, her expression becoming fixed and meditative.

"Sure." I replied softly.

Yukino brushed her hair back a little and took a deep breath.

"When I first met you, I didn't really know what to think. I always saw you as an oddball. You were jaded and maladjusted, but strangely selfless and compassionate when it came down to it. I both respected and despised these parts of you. Whenever you took unnecessary burdens upon yourself, it made me angry. I struggled to figure out why that was for some time."

Yukino looked away for a brief moment, taking in a breath of fresh air and relaxing her shoulders. With a sigh, she continued.

"It was obvious after a while, though. Like it or not, I felt for you and seeing you put yourself in harm's way attempting to help other people hurt me on the inside. It hurt a lot of us, really. I know that you know this now, but a lot of those around you cared about you. For me, it was different, though. What I saw in you was like a reflection of my inner self. A lot of cynicism with a longing to reach out… When I saw you sacrifice yourself, it felt like a part of me was being hurt as well. I guess after I realized that, I saw you a bit differently. You started changing after you spent some time in the club, you know. You began to open up a lot and you became honest with yourself…"

As Yukino trailed off, I silently chuckled a little, thinking back to THAT dramatic, embarrassing afternoon in club a while back.

"I admired that change and I felt a bit of resolution within myself. When things started to get a little hectic with my family, I briefly fell back on you mentally and emotionally. Call it unhealthy, but that's when I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I loved you. Everything clicked. The thing is, I knew that Yuigahama also had feelings for you for quite some time. I didn't want to do anything rash or make any moves that would destroy our friendship, so I decided to keep those feelings to myself.

"After we received news of your diagnosis, all that kind of fell apart. I had a lot of conflicting thoughts and I weighed out a lot of values. If I did anything open and indiscrete, I'd probably cause everyone a great deal of trouble and discomfort, but at the same time I didn't want my feelings to be unrequited. Holding everything in made me feel like I was suffocating and I noticed you doing the same with anxiety over your condition. It was just…"

Yukino trailed off again, seemingly looking for the right word to say.

"Overwhelming is how I would put it." She said, looking pensively at the ground. "I wasn't used to dealing with such a large barrage of emotions, so I decided to risk everything and make everything known to you. For better or for worse, I'm glad that I did. I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if you went away without knowing…"

Yukino looked back at me with a small, teary-eyed smile. Although she appeared to be in an emotionally fragile state, I could tell that she was indeed feeling happiness. As she leaned her head against my shoulder, I wrapped an arm around her and pecked her on the forehead.

"You don't need to worry about that now." I said, caressing her hair. "In retrospect, I'm glad I was given the chance to be with you, too."

Yukino and I continued to watch as the sky turned darker shades of purple and the sun dipped lower and lower beneath the horizon. After a minute or so, the street lamps came on and illuminated the sidewalk. As the sun finally disappeared and the last light of day began to fade away, I turned to Yukino and spoke up again.

"You know, when you first confessed to me, I was confused as hell. My mind was all over the place and I probably wasn't thinking one hundred percent clearly. There was just too much going on at the time. Everything was just tumultuously happening around me. My mind was just in this huge fog. Had I been given the opportunity to overthink it, I might've completely pushed you away out of fear."

I sighed momentarily.

"I'm happy I didn't, though. You've been wonderful to have beside me and I love you for that. I wouldn't take it back for anything."

On that note, Yukino and I sat next to each other on the park bench, gazing out at the night sky. No words were spoken, but I knew that we felt connected with one another. As the evening breeze continued to blow, Yukino took the small flower from behind her ear and placed it in her pocket, clutching her fist to her heart.

Slowly, I closed what little distance that lied between us and locked eyes with Yukino, daring to seize the moment. For an awkward second, we merely stared at each other with our faces so close that we could feel the warmth of each other's breath. Almost unsure of what to do, Yukino pulled back and giggled slightly.

"You're such a goofball, Hachi-kun…" She spoke softly, placing her hand on my cheek.

In a swift motion, she leaned forward and wrapped both her arms around me, closing her eyes. I followed suit, moving forward until our lips met. We stayed like this for a little while, embracing the moment and basking in each other's touch. Time seemed to stand still as we indulged ourselves in the splendor of the occasion. A couple passerbys happened to see us as we enjoyed this intimacy, but we paid them no mind.

After a short while, we got up from the bench that we were sitting on and started heading back over to Yukino's apartment. Yukino idly hummed while I pondered, my gaze lost among the stars.

 _Today was a good day…_ I thought to myself, wrapping my arm around Yukino's shoulder.

And a good day it was.


	18. Chapter 17: Banshee Wail

Chapter 17: Banshee Wail

Looking out of Yukino's apartment window, I could see snow steadily falling outside. Although it wasn't exactly a blizzard, the snowfall was intense enough to block some of the light that shone from streetlamps off in the distance. Once again, I found myself here on another calm evening, studying and chatting idly with Yukino and Yuigahama.

Winter break had just ended, so our spirits were slightly dampened by the return to the normal hustle and bustle. That doesn't mean that we didn't enjoy ourselves, however. As the three of us stared at the pages in our textbooks, I reflected on the past couple of months.

Looking back, things were going pretty awesome. I'd managed to up my running distance in the mornings by a few kilometers and make some noticeable progress in the gym. I didn't lose much weight, but I definitely became a bit more toned and my physical fitness and well-being seemed to be at an all-time high. I won't lie. I even struck a couple chuuni-like poses in the mirror every now and then and noted how impressed I was with the subtle, yet masculine changes in my physique.

When winter exams came around and the results came back, I'd managed to score high marks in all areas, nearly acing the mathematics portion. My overall class rank shot up by a massive amount and I was now comfortably sitting in the top ten students of my year. Yukino and I went on a few more evening excursions of our own, visiting the Korean barbeque place again and making a habit out of spending some quality time aimlessly walking around at the end of each date.

Radiation treatment finished about a month ago although I could still feel a dryness and irritation in my throat. The tumor remnants, although still present, had shrunk in size and weren't showing any signs of growing. Since then, I had been prescribed oral chemotherapy and only had to visit the oncology center for regular checkups. Although my prognosis was still a little shaky and uncertain, treatment had made a little bit of progress and that was definitely a plus.

Since my last visit, I'd resolved myself to not thinking much about the possible outcomes of my condition. If the worst were to happen, there was no telling if I'd be prepared, but fretting about what was out of my control was simply pointless and I'd all but given up on it. As a result, I felt loosened and I'd begun enjoying myself without the low-laying anxiety that previously plagued me.

As I pulled my mind out of its idle thinking, I could hear Yukino and Yuigahama conversing about the Winter Festival that took place about a month and a half ago.

"…was a huge turnout! It was a lot bigger than what I was expecting. What did you think, Yukinon?" I heard Yuigahama ask.

Eyes still glued to her textbook, Yukino briefly nodded and replied, her voice slightly muffled by the pages.

"Indeed, I agree that the festival was a massive success. Isshiki-san has much to be proud of."

And that she did. After consulting with us, Iroha had managed to organize an absolute powerhouse of a committee, breaking up feuds and tackling logistical issues on her own. All the sponsors came through, the Student Council came together, and there was even enough time left over for her to schedule a fun outing with the Council as a reward for their work. When it finally came time for the Festival itself, the only thing she asked the Service Club for was help putting up wreaths and some nicely designed banners.

There were all sorts of food stalls that served everything from ramen to yakisoba to dango to snow cones and there were activities for people of all ages. A large, 20 foot tall Christmas tree stood in the center of the sports field, adorned with all kinds of ribbons and decorations that people were allowed to make and hang on it. One of the sponsors even volunteered to have a hand bell choir come and play carols for the eventgoers.

As I reminisced on the event, distracted from my studies, Yuigahama tapped me on the shoulder.

"Hey, Hikki."

"Hmm?"

"What did you think about the festival? You looked like you were actually having fun."

Yukino made a face and snickered a little.

"Yes, I'm curious as to what you thought as well. It was almost a wonder of nature to see a hermit like yourself have such a splendid time with so many people around. " She commented, receiving a raised brow from me and a giggle from Yuigahama.

"It was pretty nice, I'll admit. The crowd was a bit overbearing, but it was neat to see the whole thing get put together and flow as smoothly as it did." I replied earnestly. "Plus, Hiratsuka-sensei got us together and paid for our ramen at the end."

I finished that last part with a glance and a wink in Yukino's direction. Yukino shook her head and smirked.

"Oh, so that's why you were so giddy the whole time. You probably anticipated that Hiratsuka-sensei would gather us and cover your ramen-splurging." She said, a friendly, yet mocking tone in her voice.

I chuckled and shrugged my shoulders.

"Hey, I won't lie. That _was_ a thought that crossed my mind as we were walking around."

"As I would expect from you, Hachi-kun…" Yukino replied, playfully rolling her eyes.

Ah, yes. Towards the festival's conclusion, Hiratsuka-sensei gathered Yukino, Yuigahama, Iroha, Komachi, and I and treated us to snow cones and ramen. It was absolutely delicious and I got to enjoy it with some of my favorite people in the world. I still had the picture that Komachi took of us saved on my phone.

Pulling it out of my pocket, I brought up the picture and stared at it for a few seconds, a warm smile finding its way on my face. Yuigahama could be seen giving Yukino a hug in the center as Hiratsuka-sensei stood behind us with Iroha by her side. Komachi's face took up a third of the photo since she took it selfie-style and at the very bottom, I could see myself sitting with a bowl of ramen in my hands making a very content expression. It was a capture of a very bright moment and a digitally encapsulated memory that would stick with me for as long as I lived (however long that was, anyways).

A curious Yuigahama scooted towards me and snuck a glance at my phone screen.

"Whatcha lookin' a- oh! I don't think Komachi-san ever sent me that picture." She said.

"Do you want me to forward it to you?" I asked expectedly

Yuigahama nodded her head and after a few quick swipes, I gave her a thumbs up gesture.

"Done." I stated.

"Thanks, Hikki!"

Taking a glance at the time on my phone, I noticed that it was getting late and that Yuigahama and I were going to have to leave soon.

"Not to be a downer, but I take it we're done studying for the evening?" I asked, gesturing towards Yukino.

"Today was fairly productive. I don't see anything wrong with calling it a wrap at this point." Yukino replied, receiving a happy nod from Yuigahama.

At that, we placed our books to the side and enjoyed some time drinking tea, eating walnuts and discussing club matters. Even though the winter snow was falling around us and blocking out both light and heat, we couldn't feel anymore warm or bright than we did right now. After a half hour, I took a second glance at my phone and realized that it was time to get a move on. The three of us gave each other hugs and after Yuigahama and I stepped out of Yukino's apartment, we exchanged pleasantries and went our separate ways.

Biking through the snow was a little tricky, but had a certain charm to it. The faster one cycled, the more snowflakes he or she could catch on their tongue in a short span of time. It was a fun game played by children that I'd nearly forgotten until now. As I stuck my tongue into the cold air and gathered little bits of snow, I started pondering my long-term future.

With all the academic improvements that I'd made recently, I was on track to graduating in good standings. My grades had improved drastically in all areas and I was even beginning to get the hang of intermediate-level English (although I was a far cry away from being as fluent as Yukino). Perhaps I'd soon be in the clear and I'd be able to get a chance to get a fresh start in life and go on to accomplish great things. Maybe I'd manage to start up my own publishing business and show those corporate slave drivers who his own boss was. It was a long shot, but without a doubt something that I'd begun to entertain.

 _That would certainly be something…_

When I got home and walked through my front door, I was greeted by Komachi, who was sitting on the living room sofa and playing a game on her phone. After a quick chat, I headed up to my room to get ready for bed like usual.

 _Autopilot mode: engaged._ I jokingly thought to myself as I finished changing into my pajamas and walked into the bathroom to brush my teeth.

As I put the toothpaste on my brush, I noticed an odd sensation coming about me. I couldn't exactly put a tab on what it was, though. It felt like an aura of some sort, although I couldn't see it, hear it, smell it, taste it, or otherwise feel it. It was bizarre, but nothing too out of the norm. Chalking it up to me being tired, I shrugged and wetted the toothbrush. When I started brushing my teeth, I paused for a second, putting the toothbrush down on the sink and staring into the mirror peculiarly. The aura that I felt just a few seconds ago returned, this time accompanied by a strange, unidentifiable scent. If I had to describe what it smelled like, I'd probably say that it reminded me of electricity although electricity itself didn't really have a distinct smell.

I slowly picked up my toothbrush, resuming my previous brushing motion.

 _Strange… Must be the tiredness…_ I thought to myself.

Suddenly, I felt my stomach lurch. My head started spinning and I felt strangely sluggish as if I were drunk or coming down with something really nasty. My ears started to ring and my heart rate spiked, going from 0 – 100 intensity-wise as if I were on the last leg of one of my regular runs. Despite all this, I was struggling to keep my eyes open and it almost felt like I was about to fall asleep.

As I dropped the toothbrush, it made a small clatter on the floor, leaving traces of toothpaste, water and saliva on the spot where it landed. Utterly frightened and confused, I opened my mouth to say something, but found myself unable to say anything.

"What th- he-"

I choked on my own words, stuttering and repeating myself a few times until I felt my eyelids droop and everything went black.

 _Not like this…_

 **A/N:**

 **No, he's not dead. This story is FAR from finished.**


	19. Chapter 18: Back to Square One

Chapter 18: Back to Square One/Only a Matter of Time

In the distance, I could hear the sound of the faucet being turned off and a muffled voice saying something almost unintelligible. My vision was still blurry, but I could briefly make out the ceiling of the bathroom. When I fully came to my senses, I saw a tearful, extremely distraught Komachi standing over me.

Both terrified and bewildered by what had just happened, I looked Komachi in the eyes and spoke.

"What just happened?" I asked in a groggy voice.

Komachi, still nervous and taken aback, shook her head.

"I don't know, Onii-chan." She said, concern pouring forth into her tone. "I heard a loud thump from the living room and when I got here… Oh, God."

Komachi paused for a second, placing her hand on my shoulder and looking away. She shuddered momentarily.

"I saw you shaking violently on the ground… I don't know what happened, Onii-chan. I don't know what happened at all." She continued, a tear flowing from her eye. "Mom and Dad are getting ready to rush you to the hospital. We're gonna leave in a couple minutes. I'm scared for you…"

Instantly, I felt a pit in my stomach. I almost felt like I wanted to vomit, but I managed to suppress the urge.

In a swift bout, I went back to my room, changed into a t-shirt and some jeans, and was walked out to the family car by Komachi. The ride to the hospital was nearly dead silent aside from hearing my mom talk to a nurse over the phone. Maybe it had to do with the fact that it was late in the evening. For some reason, I kept telling myself that as my dad hastefully rushed through the snow-laden road to the ER.

All the while, I couldn't help but wonder what had just taken place and what was in store for me. I felt sick, blacked out, and woke up to Komachi telling me that I'd been shaking uncontrollably on the floor of my bathroom. There was no doubt in my mind that what had just happened was directly related to my condition.

 _But what caused it?! Everything was going so well!_

I almost went insane trying to figure out the root of my episode in the bathroom. Maybe it was some sort of post-operational complication that my surgeon had failed to take into consideration. Maybe it was some sort of really strange after-effect to my treatment. Maybe worse had finally come to worst and I was mere moments away from kissing death. Maybe I was wrong and it was completely unrelated to anything that I'd known about or been made aware of. Regardless, I wasn't going to be able to self-diagnose. That much was obvious.

When I got to the hospital, I sat in the waiting room for a short period of time before being lead down a familiar set of halls into the CT scan room. There, I laid motionless as the machinery moved around me in a series of mechanical whirls and twists. When the CT scan finished, I was walked back out into the waiting room with my family, where we sat for God knows how long. In the blink of an eye, a few seconds could've turned into an hour, but aside from the much-ignored clock at the front of the waiting room, there was no way to tell how fast or slow time was passing.

I found myself numbly sitting in my chair with a bottle of water in my hand. Komachi feebly tried to start a conversation with me a couple of times as we were sitting. As much as I really wanted to laugh and enjoy myself with her, I couldn't bring myself to do it. My mind was a mess and the only action I was capable of right now was sitting upright and staring at the wall in front of me. It almost felt cruel being unable to respond to her, but that's just where we found ourselves. After a while, Komachi became silent and rested her head on my shoulder. We sat like this for an unknown amount of time, doing our best to calm each other's nerves and provide comfort.

After a few hours had passed, I wearily looked up and saw a familiar face walking toward my family and I. It was my oncologist. When she greeted us, I noticed that she didn't have the usual pep in her step that she had whenever I saw her after receiving treatment. It was slightly odd, but I convinced myself that it probably had something to do with being called into the hospital at such an ungodly hour. From the waiting room, we made what seemed to be a long excursion until we finally arrived at her office right outside of the oncology ward.

When we got into the office, the lights flickered on and we seated ourselves in front of my oncologist's desk. After a brief moment, my oncologist took out a small portfolio and folded her hands on her desk, a grim, wistful look on her face. She sighed and spoke up.

"I'm certain that this is probably the last place you wished to find yourselves on a Saturday evening or Sunday morning." She began, taking a deep breath before continuing. "In any case, you were wise to take immediate action after what happened a few hours ago. I was informed of what happened by the nurse in the emergency room whom you were speaking to. A matter like this is certainly not one to take chances with."

As she cleared her throat, I snuck a quick glance out the window.

Sitting here with my family as my oncologist spoke to us was a fairly familiar feeling, although not in a good way. The last time we had all gathered here, I was looking out the same window pointlessly watching the sunset. This time, I was watching as snow piled in the parking lot. The scenery of a colorful sunset was now replaced with cold precipitation.

 _I guess no matter how far you run, you always end up in the same spot…_

Shaking my head, I turned my attention back towards my oncologist, who seemed to be delivering whatever news she had at a painstakingly slow pace.

"…been a little while since we've all gathered here. When I was called, the head nurse of the ER told me that you'd already been taken in for an emergency CT scan and that one of the hospital's neurological specialists was on the case. When I heard that this concerned one of _my_ patients, I rushed over here as quickly as possible..."

With that, my oncologist took a deep sigh. She looked at me with a bit of a gloomy face.

"Based on the description of what happened and the data that we were able to gather from the CT scan, you most clearly had a seizure. Hikigaya-san, we've done everything in our power to help treat your case. Up to this point, we were most concerned with eradication and maintenance."

She paused for a second before shaking her head briefly and continuing.

"However, there are certain things that are nearly impossible for use to forsee… What happened tonight definitely seems to fit that category…"

As my oncologist went on, I could feel my spirit being drained bit by bit. What she said next, however, made my heart sink lower than it ever had.

"Your cancer is back."

Those words hit me like a truck. They were four simple words, but ones that had the capacity to haunt and torment a person to ends that he or she had never experienced. Unlike before, I was fully paying attention as the news hit me and I didn't have the luxury of spacing out or letting shock do its work and absorb the brunt of things. No, I was completely tuned in, almost obsessively so.

My oncologist went on.

"The tumor that was responsible for tonight's episode was actually completely independent of the one that we were focusing on. It must've manifested itself within the past month or so, because we caught no sign of it during the last regular scan. It's also much more grave than the last one we dealt with…"

As my oncologist went on, Komachi tugged on my side and I rested my head on top of hers in a weak attempt to console her.

"…located between the temporal lobe and the brain stem. Due to how close it is in proximity to the brain stem, it's completely inoperable. The CT scan operators and myself were shocked to have seen it. It seemed to have come out of nowhere. I'm sorry, Hikigaya-san, but this really is a tragedy. There isn't much that we can do at this point. I'd say that at most, you have two and a half months left to live. But even that statistic is rough and optimistic. There's a chance that you might not even make it long enough to graduate high school…"

Staring back outside at the ongoing snowstorm, I crossed my arms and shivered a little, as if the storm had found its way inside. Just hours ago, I was joking, laughing, and thinking about the distant future, something I hadn't dared to do for quite a while. It was almost surreal, going from that to having a blackout seizure and then being told that my life was effectively being cut short by a horrific relapse… No, it was more than just that. It was a _completely independent_ tumor. Once again, I found myself staring blankly ahead as my oncologist continued with a sorrowful tone in her voice.

"…medication for seizures. On your way out, you should be able to take these prescriptions to the pharmacy. They'll prevent any future episodes, although they obviously won't help treat the cause. Hachiman, you might run into difficulty hearing or processing auditory information in the future. If it gets bad enough, hearing aid prescriptions are always available although you probably won't need them…"

With a stiff nod, I acknowledged my oncologist and turned my head back towards the window, watching as the snow continued to fall.

 _It's almost comical…_ I thought to myself quietly. _The weather seems to be mocking me._

Earlier, when I was at Yukino's apartment, the snow was falling gently and created a wonderland-like atmosphere. It almost seemed to reflect the peacefulness and joy that I felt at the moment. Now that I was sitting in my oncologist's office once again, the snow thickened and intensified, falling chaotically and unrelentingly. It strangely resembled the way I felt now, which was shocked and overwhelmed. Shaking my head, I turned my attention back towards my oncologist.

"…most likely unnecessary, but if hospice care is needed, we have facilities located nearby in Chiba that can assist you for nearly no charge. What little cost exists is most covered by insurance, so if you do end up choosing that option, you'll only have to pay pocket change. I know it's rather grim, but the option is available to you nonetheless…"

After a few minutes, my oncologist finished her solemn announcement and my family and I left. We went to the pharmacy, picked up the meds, and went straight home. Once again, the car ride was dead silent. No words were spoken and I found myself staring catatonically at the snowstorm once again, too devastated to utter even a single word. When we got home, I gave my parents and Komachi hugs and trudged towards my room.

As I laid on my bed, I thought to myself through my feeble attempts to fall asleep.

 _This is unbelievable…_ I thought to myself, shoving my face into my pillow.

After all this time, I found myself back at square one. No longer was I going to be able to cling to the weak hope that my condition would better itself. No longer would I get to fathom future possibilities and dream up a life of fruitful independence and well-earned success. It just wasn't in the realm of possibility anymore. The truth of the matter was that I was a dead man walking and that soon, I'd more than likely have an aneurysm or stroke and be sent to the grave.

 _Shit isn't fair. It just isn't…_

For a while, I was convinced that I'd be able to hold myself together and get through anything I was faced with. Whatever challenge lied before me, I was confident that I'd be able to take it on and move forward unscathed. I'd managed to accomplish more in a few months than I'd been able to in several years of my life. I'd felt like I was on top of the world. For once, I managed to form meaningful relationships with the people around me, garner respect, find love, and overcome all sorts of personal barriers and limitations whether they were academic or physical.

 _But what does that mean now, though?_ I thought to myself hopelessly as I threw my head back in anguish, a single tear flowing from my eye.

 _It wouldn't have made a difference anyways. A bright future working self-employed and having the time of my life? What a joke… Such luxuries must've been deemed too good for me by the gods themselves…_

After shaking my head, I laid back and stared at the ceiling, studying each individual inch of stucco as if it would be able to provide some sort of enlightenment.

 _But wait. You can't just discount everything that you've been able to achieve… It wasn't all for nothing. You did well for yourself and took on a kind of adversity that you wouldn't have dreamed of being able to take on earlier in your life. Doesn't that mean anything? The words and support that Hiro Yukinoshita offered you… Don't those hold any sort of significance?_

Defeated and exhausted, I let my mind wage its own battle between cynical apathy and mortal motivation. I was far too tired to contain it. After the last several hours, I wanted nothing but to rest eternally, awakening only once everything had gone to normal and I'd woken up to find that all that had just transpired was but a nasty dream.

 _Where to now?_ I pondered, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. _Maybe I might actually be able to sleep this one off… Oh, fuck it. Don't be ridiculous…_

Too tired to even budge my eyelids, I let the waves of sleep crash over me. Tomorrow was another day. Maybe, just maybe, I'd be able to find some sort of consolation. Perhaps I'd even be able to make sense of this whole mess and bring myself to feel peace.

 _Just rest…_ I thought, repeating myself over and over as if I were desperately reciting some unholy mantra. _Just rest… Just rest…_

 **A/N:**

 **Hey, guys! Bronze V Lee Sin here! As you can tell, things have definitely shaken up a bit for Hachiman. I won't talk much about what I have planned from here on out since I don't want to wastefully give away any spoilers. What I can say is that there has been and will continue to be a drastic change in pace.**

 **When I reread my most recent chapter, I realized that I threw in a meme at the very end. I apologize, as I had no intention of doing so. It was a complete accident, but I suppose that since the phrase made sense in context, it went over my head. In any case, such a dramatic moment was a bad place to put in a phrase that could've been mistaken for a LoL meme. It probably didn't bother anyone that much, but it irked me after I spotted it and couldn't unsee it.**

 **Anyhow, thanks for all the love and support. I never expected this story to grow as huge as it did, and being able to write a fic that garners as much attention as it has is a major privilege. I'm going to do my best to give this story a strong finish before I find myself swamped in classes again. Bronze V Lee Sin out! Hikuu!**


	20. Chapter 19: Picking Up What's Left

**Update as of 11/14/16:**

 **Hey, guys! Bronze V Lee Sin here! It's been a little while since my last update and I've been getting a lot more PMs than usual asking about my update schedule, so I'll answer all the questions I've heard here.**

 **School has become quite busy as of late. Being a full-time student, looking for a lab position/internship, trying to maintain a social life, etc. have been eating up all my time and I haven't gotten much of opportunity to fire up the story and make any decent headway. Even when I do have the occasional spare hour or two, I'm pretty mentally exhausted and the motivation to write plummets to zero. I don't want to write while in that state because if I do, I'm going to end up half-assing my efforts and for all the support and recognition I've gotten so far, I believe that you all, the fandom, deserve better than that.**

 **I do brief through my outline and what I've written so far every once in a while to keep in touch with what I've been trying to accomplish in the story, so getting back into it won't be as arduous as it was this last summer. Once finals are over (granted that my long-postponed jury duty service doesn't royally screw me over), I plan on hitting this project with full force and by Christmas, I can guarantee that you'll see future chapters posted to this story.**

 **On a different note… Welcome to my story, Fanfic Critic! I've seen you shitposting around the Oregairu fandom recently and was wondering how long it'd take you to finally show me some love! :P**

 **To all those who've been with me since the start, to those who just discovered my story, to those who've enjoyed it, to those who haven't, to the fans and to the trolls who've spiced things up for me, thank you! My hands are full at the moment, but I will be back in no time.**

 **Bronze V Lee Sin out! Hikuu!**

Chapter 19: Picking up What's Left

Opening my eyes, I stared intently at my clock in an attempt to read the time. After a few moments, the grogginess wore off and I saw that it was half past noon. As I threw myself haplessly back into bed, I looked at myself in the mirror and shook my head.

 _I guess it wasn't a dream. Go figure._

Annoyed, I took a deep breath and let it out in a single, violent huff. I knew that being stuck in a predicament like the one I was in now was a possibility, and for some time I'd almost counted on it. I suppose that seeing everything go so smoothly for months almost made me forget what it was like to have a quantified expiration date. Hell, even that was pretty off considering that I was supposed to have 15 – 18 months. What was it now? 7 months from the initial prognosis? Maybe 8?

For some reason, I felt angry and cheated. Towards whom? I didn't know. Myself? Fate? God? With the drastic changes that came along with being diagnosed with a Glioblastoma, I had managed to forge a new identity for myself, a new worldview even! But to be honest, these were changes that although catalyzed by my condition, could've been made with just a hint of foresight and introspection. Now that I'd finally realized my full potential as a person, everything I had to work for was being stripped from me. I could feel my inner cynicism seeping back into my conscience like a poison and although I knew that it was destructive, I couldn't help but let it course through my veins.

Just as another thought was about to enter my mind, I heard a slow, hesitant knock on my door.

"Onii-chan? Are you awake yet?" Komachi asked softly from the other side of my door.

Instantly, I felt my mind ease itself a little and replied.

"Yeah, I am. Come in." I said, clearing my throat and straightening myself up.

My door opened and a sad-looking Komachi walked in with a glass of water in her hand. Setting it down on my nightstand, she came over and sat next to me on my bed, hugging my side.

"Are you feeling alright, Onii-chan? You didn't say much last night." She began. As she went on, her voice grew more and more tense and she spoke more and more rapidly.

"You had me worried, but I knew that you were tired and upset and I didn't want to bother y-"

Putting my hand on her shoulder, I silenced her and shook my head.

"Don't worry about it." I responded. "It was a lot to take in and I was just overwhelmed."

Komachi relaxed herself and nodded. Chuckling, I looked down and continued.

"You'd think I'd be used to handling news like this, but I suppose it isn't the type of news that you can get used to hearing."

Glancing back at Komachi, I smiled weakly.

"Having you with me made it less painful, though."

Komachi returned my smile and sat still for a moment, as if she had something she came to say but had nearly forgotten. I patiently waited for her, reaching for the glass of water that she had set down and taking a slow sip. After a minute or so, her facial expression changed as if she had an epiphany and she tapped me on the shoulder.

"Oh, right. I came in here to tell you that Yukino-chan is coming over in a little bit. We talked while you were still sleeping and she knows about what happened… I'm sorry if you didn't want her to know yet." She said with a nervous, apologetic look.

"It's fine." I replied calmly. "It's probably better that you told her instead of me. My head was… in a dark place when I got home early this morning."

Komachi eyed me worriedly and placed her hand on my shoulder again.

"Are you okay now?" She asked.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm feeling a little better now. I'm still reacting to everything is all." I answered honestly, shrugging my shoulders.

"Alright. I'm gonna go make some lunch, okay? If you want anything, just come down and I'll make you something too." Komachi said, patting me on the back and standing up.

"Sounds good. I'll eat in just a bit." I responded.

With that, Komachi walked out and closed the door behind her. Still holding the water that she left, I looked towards my desk, eyeing the pill bottle that my parents picked up from the pharmacy. Opening the bottle, I read the label and shook out a small, oval-like tablet.

 _Keppra, 1000 mg… Take once in the morning and once before bed. Do not stop using or lower dosage without a doctor's recommendation… If you notice any of the following side effects, yadda yadda…_

With a gulp of water, I swallowed the tablet and closed the pill bottle, standing it up on my desk away from the window. I walked towards my closet, changed into fresh clothes, and started to straighten my hair. It was almost pointless since I wasn't going anywhere, but it gave me something to do and made me feel a little freshened.

After going downstairs to eat lunch with Komachi and sitting around for a half an hour, there was a knock at the front door. Komachi motioned towards the door with her hand and quietly began to walk up to her room. Confused at this gesture, I turned to her before walking over to the door myself. As my hand touched the knob, I nodded, now understanding what Komachi was trying to do.

 _I see... She wants us to have this moment by ourselves._

When I opened the door, I saw Yukino bundled up in a snow jacket, her teeth chattering as she stood at the porch. Our eyes met, but for a second, neither of us moved. Both of us, I was sure, were preoccupied. After a few more seconds, I stepped out onto the porch with Yukino and gave her a hug. Clearing my throat, I mustered the willpower to get through a very awkward greeting.

"Hey." I said softly, patting Yukino on the back and gently pressing her head against my chest.

I could feel Yukino shudder, and as I looked down, I saw a tear emerge from the corner of her eye.

"Hachi-kun…"

Hearing her distraught voice brought out a strange mixture of emotions. On one hand, I was glad that she was here and talking to me, but on the other hand, I couldn't stand to see her like this. It comforted me and tore me apart at the same time, leaving me with a queasiness that refused to subside. A few moments later, the cold began to get to me, so I let go of Yukino and ushered her inside.

"Let's go inside, alright?" I said coaxingly.

Yukino nodded and followed me. As she walked in, I shut the door behind her. Plopping myself on the living room sofa, I waited for Yukino to take off her boots and hang her jacket.

Yukino sat down next to me, sitting up straight with her hands folded in her lap. She gazed at me with a contemplative expression, narrowing her eyes as if she were trying to figure out what words she wanted to speak.

If there's one thing I'd learned about facing someone after they'd heard bad news or while dealing with an elephant in the room, it's that awkward silence was commonplace. It was impossible to escape no matter how hard one might try to avoid it. In most cases, this one included, both parties were eager to communicate, but couldn't figure out how. Social cues got tossed out the window and while there was plenty of time to contemplate what one wanted to say, the suffocating anxiety made it damn near impossible to do so. Hence, silence like the one that Yukino and I were observing right now had a tendency to perpetuate itself until someone managed to say something, anything really.

After what seemed to be hours, but was really only a minute, Yukino slowly spoke up.

"I spoke over the phone with your sister this morning." She started, looking down at the ground. "At first I thought she was calling to organize some get-together, but when I heard the tone in her voice, I knew something was wrong…"

Yukino locked eyes with me, a sorrowful look on her face. Shaking her head, she went on.

"She told me everything that happened. I- I wish there was something I could do to just wipe your illness away and make everything better. But of course that's impossible. Just last night, we were eating, studying, and laughing together. Everything was fine… And now you're being told that you might not even make it to graduation. God, reality can be cruel and unfair sometimes…"

Placing her hand on my shoulder, Yukino took a deep breath.

"How have you been? Did you get enough rest?" She asked, her voice carrying a caring, nurturing tone.

I nodded stiffly and closed my eyes for a second, taking a moment to draw out some semblance of tranquility.

"Yeah, I'm alright. I probably overslept, but I guess that beats not being able to sleep at all." I said, resting my head on the couch cushion and slouching a little.

Sitting on what Yukino was telling me seconds ago, I let out a frustrated laugh.

"Reality definitely is cruel and unfair. You speak the truth, although I wish it weren't so. I feel paralyzed and conflicted, you know? Part of me is happy looking back on everything and the other part of me keeps asking what the point is. I mean, what good are all of my recent achievements and memories if they're only going to be stripped away from me?"

I sighed.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be thinking like this. I'd like to think that I've become better than that, but at the end of the day, I'm still me. Old habits die hard. When shit hits the fan, I guess this is the sort of mindset I default to."

At that moment, my mind caved in on itself and began attacking me with a couple vicious jabs.

 _Pathetic… Even though you've gone through hell and back and toiled away for countless hours, you still can't do something as simple as appreciate the company of a person who's shown you nothing but love and support. Can't you think of something more grateful to say?_

Trying to shut out the nasty little voice in my head, I closed my eyes again and took a deep breath.

 _You can hide all you want, but you can't evade the clutches of time. You're going to die a premature death and be forgotten soon after._

As if my mind were once again waging a war of its own, another angry voice sprang into my head, perhaps in a feeble attempt to defend my sanity.

 _Shut up! This self-defeating drivel isn't doing you any good._

 _Oh, really? It's not like a miracle is going to happen and magically make everything better. The universe doesn't work like that. Face the facts._

 _Face the facts? The fact of the matter is that you still have time to come to terms with your fate and die in peace. Or have you forgotten that already?_

 _Don't be ridiculous! There is no peace in this farce._

Mentally exhausted, I stopped resisting the voices in my head and simply let them play out like some sort of psychotic play. From the foggy distance, I heard another voice penetrate the curtain and enter the fray. This voice was a lot more soothing, though, and it only uttered a single name.

"Hachiman."

Opening my eyes, I looked at the ceiling and turned to Yukino, who repeated herself, this time a little more firmly.

"Hachiman."

Instantly, the voices in my head silenced themselves and I focused my attention on the person who happened to be my personal savior at the moment.

"I know you have a lot going on in your mind, but for now, I want you to listen to me."

Yukino's facial expression changed along with the tone in her voice. Although there was still visible sadness and worry, she now looked determined and resolute. Without a word, I merely nodded lightly and listened.

"A while back, I told you that I was going to stick with you to the bitter end. I meant it with every fiber of my being. I will be with you until the day that you die. If you need someone to hear you out, I'll sit through whatever you have to say. If you need someone to hold you in your final moments, I will gladly be that person. Know that much and remember it, for your own sake."

Yukino paused for a second as she squinted, doing her best to maintain her composure and fight back tears.

"I know that you're tearing away at yourself in there and it kills me inside just as much as it kills you. You're struggling to keep your head straight, I can tell. I just want you to know that you don't have to beat yourself up for it. These things are unavoidable. Regardless of what news you've been given or what kind of predicament you've been placed in, me and everyone else around you are going to do our best to be there for you. I know everything seems gray and dim right now, but I'm here. I'm right beside you. We're here together."

I turned towards Yukino and slowly wrapped my arms around her. Amidst all the chaos and confusion that flew about in my feeble, weary mind, I had nearly forgotten who was sitting right next to me. I was incredibly grateful that she was here with me now, reminding me that I wasn't alone. Just when I thought I was about to lose it, she sat here like a sturdy rock, helping me hold steady. Brushing my cheek against hers, I uttered three simple words.

"Yes we are."

As we sat there, holding each other in silence, my mind wandered to a phrase that Hiratsuka-sensei had repeated to me on a couple occasions.

 _Think, writhe, agonize, and struggle._

They were four seemingly disconnected words that I'd ran over in my head countless times, but they'd never really made sense to me. Now, though, the meaning behind that phrase was vivid and clear. I was following it verbatim as I sat here in my own home.

After a while, Yukino and I separated and began talking about the usual mundane topics. Komachi came down from her room and joined us, turning the atmosphere from dull and depressing to something a little more cheerful and lively. We sat around, talked back and forth and then moved out into the dining room and made dinner with my parents. Although there was a slight discomfort that surrounded all of us, we managed to laugh it up and enjoy ourselves like we usually did.

Eventually it got late and Yukino had to return to her apartment to rest up for another day at school. I went to bed feeling well-rested and less distressed, but still extremely ambivalent and somewhat fearful about what lied ahead for me. As I rested my head on my pillow, I lost myself in thought and reflected on the past couple of days.

Now that I'd had a little bit of time to reflect and think things out, shock had subsided and my mind had managed to clear itself of the fog that it was just caught in. Words couldn't express how glad I was to have Yukino swing by and help me talk things out earlier. Her visit brought a little calm amidst the storm that struck suddenly and without warning. Despite that, I felt drained and in capacitated. Part of me almost didn't want to go on. Closing my eyes, I let myself drift off into dreamless sleep, surfing in the black abyss of an empty conscience.

When my alarm went off at 5 AM the next morning, I angrily slammed the snooze button and covered my head with my pillow. Sighing, I removed the pillow and stared at my ceiling again, letting an errant thought slip through the cracks of my mind.

 _Fuck me. What's the point in even getting up this early anymore? Maybe it would've been best if I died last night instead of merely collapsing… Maybe then I could've died in peace..._

Suddenly, I sat up straight in bed, realizing what I'd just thought.

 _No. That's foolish thinking._ I thought firmly.

At that very moment, I felt something snap. If asked what it was, I couldn't say, but it was a bit like an unearthing sensation that shook me to my core. Clenching my fist and looking at myself in the mirror, I tightened my facial features.

 _Now the timer has been set to expire at a sooner date. Are you going to hide in a dark corner and waste your last moments cowering in fear? Are you going to soil your memory in the mind of those who took the time to be there for you, assist you, and show you love? Or are you going to step forward and embrace reality as it is, in all its joy and unfairness?_

Mustering what resolve I had left, I stood up and turned off my alarm, walking towards the front of my room and flipping the light switch.

 _You can still keep moving forward. Just because the end is near doesn't mean you have to grind to a halt. You've done well for yourself. Don't let it go to waste._

With a determined grimace, I reached into my drawer and pulled out my running pants. I put on my undershirt, sweater, and running shoes, taking a few deep breaths as I did so. As I stretched, I felt myself overcome by a wave of motivation.

 _No more wallowing in self-pity. No more excuses as to why I couldn't do what I wanted to or accomplish what I set out to accomplish. I'm finished. Death might loom in the near future, but until the very moment it swallows me whole, I'm going to fight._

I, Hachiman Hikigaya, was going to move forward and be the best that I could possibly be. I was going to seize the moment and treat every day as if it were my last. If I were to die suddenly, I was going to be sure that I had no fear and no regrets. As many times as I'd repeated that to myself before, it hardly carried any meaning. But today was a different day. I now had a clear purpose and a clear directive. Time was of the essence and I was going to act.

Grabbing my stopwatch and quietly walking out towards my front porch, I gritted my teeth and cracked my neck.

 _Let's do this._

 **A/N:**

 **Hey, guys! Bronze V Lee Sin here! I've been kicking my writing gears into overdrive the last couple of weeks and so far, everything seems to have come out pretty well (aside from my accidental meme-slip).**

 **In response to RalphZiggy, I was actually kind of worried that someone would point out the lack of Yukino's presence or even a brief mention of her last chapter. I didn't want this chapter to seem like a response to that sort of feedback since I had it planned out a while back. As you can see, I dedicated nearly an entire chapter to her interaction with Hachiman, as I felt that the heartfelt discourse between those two and the introspection that came after warranted it. I could've easily brought her into the fold, in mind or mention, last chapter (and I was seriously considering it) but ultimately decided against it. I felt that having her brought up in passing would have seemed premature and incomplete. Some people (such as yourself) might disagree with this, but it boiled down to a gut decision that I followed through on, for better or for worse. In any case, thank you for sticking with me this far. I noticed that you're one of my regulars who has been with me since the start and that means a lot to me.**

 **Cheers, and Bronze V Lee Sin out! Hikuu!**


	21. Chapter 20: Alive

Chapter 20: Alive

Turning the corner, I briefly glanced at my stopwatch and began to hasten my strides. As my foot made contact with the snow-laden pavement, I exhaled and let out a steamy cloud that quickly dissipated in the early morning air. Last night's snow had all but smothered the roads, leaving the suburban streets covered in a soft, powdery precipitation. Everything was calm, though, and things would soon return to usual around Chiba as the giant plowers made their way around town and cleared the roads. I couldn't say the same for myself.

Despite having been awoken in an awkward, disarrayed state, I was now wide awake as I focused on the task at hand. Part of me was convinced that this was because the alarm clock had gone off a little more unexpectedly than usual. The other half wondered if the cold weather had anything to do with it.

My feet furiously pounding the ground, I began to lengthen my strides and accelerate. Breaking out of my steady, monotonous tempo, I glanced at my stopwatch again as I increased my pace. I still had a ways to go and it was a bit early to turn on the after-burners, but I still pressed on.

 _A full minute and half ahead of my record pace…_ I thought to myself, almost ignoring the significance of what I was doing.

My side began to ache and I could feel my lungs struggling to draw in the frosty air from around me. I was definitely wrapping things up too early. Perhaps I'd be best off going easy until I hit the home stretch… The voice in the back of my head convinced me otherwise.

 _No._

Grimacing, I continued, ramping up the pace again almost in defiance of what my body was trying to tell me. I simply had to keep going.

It was silly. There wasn't any reason to overexert myself to the point of risking injury. I already had a large enough health problem keeping me and my family occupied at the moment. Logically speaking, what I was doing made little to no sense. It was foolish, even. Still, I kept going, refusing to let up. I covered my eyes a little as I noticed the sun rising in the distance.

 _One kilometer left._ I thought to myself, nearly oblivious of the fact that I was damn close to passing out.

It was strange. Despite the fact that I was red as a cherry and wheezing harder than an old man with a chronic lung condition, I didn't feel perturbed in the slightest. My strides were chaotic, yet trance-like and meditative at the same time. Even when everything around me seemed to be going hell, it was like running still gave me a sense of peace.

As I drew closer to the final stretch, I fell back into my mind and started pondering.

 _Why does this matter so much? I've had ill-paced runs before. Even if I blow it on this one, there's always tomorr-_

Then it hit me. It was the reason I got out of bed and strapped on my running shoes in the first place. It was what was pushing me and driving me insane at the same time.

 _Tomorrow isn't a guarantee._

It wasn't much of a surprise, really. Saturday night's trip to the hospital made that much painstakingly obvious. However, parts of the reality were still sinking in, bit by bit. Rather than viewing it in a hopelessly pessimistic light, I was beginning to see it in an objective manner. My worldview was still adapting and with it, my sense of self-duty. In a way, it almost felt empty. The facts were the facts and no matter how much contemplation I put myself through, my circumstances weren't going to magically shift themselves around to suit an ending that went in line with longevity. After the initial visit to the oncology center, I managed to hold on to that wishful idea for months, but last night was the nail in my coffin. It was sobering to say the least, but hopefully that was for the best.

Taking another look at my stopwatch, I nodded and looked straight ahead, where my house sat about a half-kilometer in the distance, porchlight still on from when I left.

 _Getting close…_ I thought to myself, bracing for the last leg.

I could feel a fiery pain searing through every inch of my frame. My heart was pounding and my breathing was beginning to become erratic. Each breath made my solar plexus tighten up to the point where it felt like it was going to snap. With each labored breath, my mind began to race as fast as my heart and I started thinking about what drove me to get up this morning in the first place.

 _You want to to die with no regrets? When all is said and done and you close your eyes for the last time, what do you want to remember? What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind?_

My face battered from the cold and my extremities beginning to grow numb, I could feel myself torn between inspiration and dispiritedness once again.

If I were to think about it, I had nothing significant to leave behind. I wasn't a master architect or leader like Noboru-san was and I hadn't accomplished anything of merit within my lifetime. When I died, I would eventually be forgotten like all others who died before me. It was only natural. Or would I? Regardless, I felt a fire burning inside my chest that kept me fighting.

 _For what reason, though?_

It obviously didn't have anything to do with pride. I had long abandoned that notion, but I still felt something deep within me telling me to fight and live my life to the fullest. To be honest, I couldn't grasp what it was.

 _Think, Hachiman. Why do you feel the need to keep fighting? What is the passion that keeps you going? Is it love? Is it fear? Is it something else?_

I wanted to understand why I felt the motivation that I did. It was without a doubt a feeling greater than anything else I'd ever felt before, but at the same time it had a mystique that I couldn't possibly comprehend. With a rough shiver, I was brought back to my senses and reminded of the fact that I was still in the middle of hauling ass home in what was likely to be my most intense morning run yet.

 _Perhaps this is just the human nature._ I thought to myself hastily.

Pulling myself back into the real world, I saw my house a couple hundred meters in the distance and gritted my teeth. Only one word found its way into my conscience as I carried myself forward.

 _Go._

With narrowed eyes and a pump of the arms, I broke into a mad sprint, kicking up snow as I made my way home. The closer I got, the more I could feel myself wanting to succumb to exhaustion. It didn't matter, though. I wasn't just going about another one of my routine morning jogs. I felt like a man on mission. I was running for, or maybe even from something. As to what that something was? I had absolutely no clue, but I knew that I was going to finish strong.

As I came within a few houses of the finish line, my vision began to blur. The dryness in my throat almost prevented me from breathing altogether, but I kept going anyways. As I took the last few strides across my front yard, I brought my hand to my stopwatch and pressed the stop button. Not even looking at the watch, I keeled over and laid in the middle of the yard for a few moments.

Staring up at the early morning sky, I took in a deep breath and brought my hand to my chest. Even through thick gloves and a jacket, I could easily feel my heart thumping as it returned to its resting rate. I closed my eyes briefly, both savoring and enduring the moment. If I had to describe how I felt at that exact moment, I'd probably get lost in trying to come up with the right word. I was weary, uncertain, thrilled, terrified, confused, yet oddly satisfied. Everything that led up to this moment felt incredibly visceral. Acknowledging that I felt all these things, I opened my eyes and got up to cooldown and go inside. Finally checking my stopwatch, I noticed that I had knocked a full two minutes off my previous best ten kilometer time. Shaking my head with a half-smile while cheekily staring at the digital display, I walked to the other end of my street and back. Brushing the snow off my jacket, I stepped onto my porch.

My mind brewed a storm as I looked out into the neighborhood. For all I knew, I could've died of a brain hemorrhage doing what I just did. Maybe I was about to. Thinking about it brought a chill to my spine even more pronounced than the one brought about by the snow. No longer did everything feel gray and distant. The world, my life, and my experiences were all in front of me for me to see, feel, and remember. It was all incredibly fresh and real. I didn't understand a damn thing about myself as I would've initially thought, but strangely, I was beginning to come to terms with that fact. It was terrifying, but bewildering.

There's this belief where emotions running high often result in enhanced senses. Intense sadness, anger, joy, etc. can lead to a heightened corporeal experience. Sweet things taste sweeter, hearing is more discerning, one's vision is ultimately said to become much sharper. Perhaps it was superstitious nonsense. Maybe it was hidden wisdom. The veracity of such an idea was questionable, but there was no doubt that it precisely described what I was experiencing now. Taking in a deep breath, my pupils dilated as I let the freezing morning air fill my lungs.

I felt a wave of emotions wash over me as I thought to myself about the past, present, and future. I'd spent the last several months modifying my train of thought and contemplating new beginnings, but today felt different. Everything I had ever thought or known to be true was being shaken to its core. All the introspection I had done over the last several months was being put to the test. I was beginning to discover what my true colors were. The words that Hiro Yukinoshita spoke about taking each day one step at a time were beginning to resonate in a way that I had never thought they would. I was learning to accept my emotions and reactions for what they were. I was beginning to appreciate and savor each breath that I took, lest it be my last. My fate was black and white, but my conscience was bursting with color. With a firm nod, I turned the doorknob and headed inside with a fresh mind and a new perspective.

For the first time ever, I can say that I felt alive.

 _ **A/N:**_

 **Hey, guys! Bronze V Lee Sin here! It seems like it's been an eternity since I've posted a chapter, but I'm proud to say that I'm back in business for the time being. I'm not going to lie. This quarter was extremely brutal and I had almost no time to write or even think about writing. Even after finals were over, I had a good week or so where I just sat braindead while playing Osu and sending out work/internship applications. However, I'm glad to be back and I appreciate all the support and feedback I've gotten. I really can't stress it enough, especially for those of you who've reached out to me via PM and asked how I was doing. It's nice to know that I still have active readers out there. When I saw that I hit the #1 spot in both followers and favorites, I was absolutely speechless and felt beyond honored to hold such a privilege. It was a major accomplishment and a milestone in my creative writing endeavors, and I'll never forget what I felt when a few of you reached out and pointed that out to me. Even two months later, I'm still kind of sitting here, scratching my head and wondering how I got this far.**

 **This chapter was fairly short, and I know it probably seems like an interim. I apologize if it wasn't as grandiose as you may have been wanting or expecting, but I did put a lot of thought into it and ultimately, it felt right to me. This isn't the end, and you'll definitely be seeing more from me within the next two or three weeks. I'm on break, so I pretty much have all the time in the world to dedicate to this story and I intend on using it to my advantage. Expect a lot more, because there's a lot more coming. Bronze V Lee Sin is back on the grind, baby! Hikuu!**


	22. Chapter 21: Deja Vu

**Update as of 2/8/17:**

 **Hey, guys! Bronze V Lee Sin here once again! Before I say anything else, I'd like to profusely express gratitude to all my readers. This, as my first creative writing endeavor, has wound up not only being the most followed/favorited fic within the Oregairu section on FanFiction . net, but the first to reach over 1k followers as well. I am nearly at a loss for words. Wow!**

 **That being said, there's a little housekeeping that I'd like to do since I know I haven't posted in a while and it can be frustrating to see a story go without updates for months without explanation. The quarter picked up a hell of a lot quicker than I thought it would, and once again I find myself bogged down by work/studies to the point where there isn't any time or energy left for me to be at the top of my game when writing. I hate to admit, but I'm probably going to have to take another hiatus before I can continue work on this project. Of course, this goes without saying, but I'll definitely be back and this story will see a conclusive ending. For those of you who may still hold lingering doubts, I'd like you to know that I've held through to my promises thus far and will continue to do so until the very end.**

 **Even though I haven't been actively writing, I have reread the LN and gone over my own story a couple times, and I have noticed some minor canonical discrepancies. I was aware of some of these from the start while others just came to light for me. I personally don't think that they affect the story in a manner large enough to hinder it, but if these inconsistencies bother you, I apologize. I'm going to be on the lookout for things like that from here on out during my proofreading sessions.**

 **Once again, thank you all for sticking with me, and I will be back. Hikuu!**

Ch. 21: Déjà Vu

 _Well, here we are again._ I thought to myself as I took in the cold morning air.

As I chained my bike and began walking to the entrance of the school building, I couldn't help but notice a strange feeling of déjà vu. Walking to homeroom after receiving tragic news was definitely something that I'd done before. However, in stark contrast to the first time I'd been through this experience, there was something more final, more set in stone. It irked me, but also brought a sense of closure. I was torn between which felt more prevalent.

As I walked up the steps leading into the main hallway, I felt a loose piece of paper fall from my book bag. Stooping to pick it up, I examined it before letting out a hearty chuckle.

 _Hachiman, Hiratsuka-sensei has been notified of your condition… Yadda yadda, Love, Kaa-san._

It was the note my mother placed in my bag several months ago. After sitting in my bag for as long as it did, it had become crumpled and waterlogged while the ink was beginning to smear and fade.

Finding it now was quite the coincidence considering what I was just thinking about. When I had opened this note for the first time, I was an overwhelmed, nervous wreck. I had no idea how to handle the news I was given and I was uncertain of how to approach those close to me about it.

 _Hell, you still have no clue how to handle this._

Shaking my head, I continued walking. It was true. I was still figuring out how to react to my circumstances. However, instead of racing a million miles a minute, my mind was blank and my conscience was clear. There wasn't really any use in contemplating the what-ifs at this point. I was riding the roller coaster of life, with all of its dips, peaks, thrills, and depressions.

The school day went by in a fairly mundane fashion. Nobody had been informed of the developments that had taken place in my medical condition yet, so I wasn't swarmed by people asking me questions as I might've otherwise expected. On that note, Yukino and I agreed not to say anything to Yuigahama until club since we knew that today was going to be a fairly slow day in terms of requests. This placed the burden of telling her about it on me, unlike last time. I wasn't exactly sure how to come out with it. Quite frankly, there wasn't any right or wrong way to do it, but I still cared for Yuigahama and her feelings since she was a fellow club member and more importantly a close friend.

As per usual, I got out of my last class a couple minutes late and mozied my way over to club before approaching the door. As I reached for the handle to slide the door open, I thought back to the first time I'd walked in this room after hearing that I'd been afflicted with brain cancer.

At the time, I was terrified, confused, depressed, and clueless of how to act. The thought of confronting the possibility of my youthful mortality was enough to make me lose my mind, let alone confronting how Yukino and Yuigahama would react to it. It truly was a different time in my life, even though it was relatively recent. So much had happened since then and I'd been forced through a series of trials, tribulations, and changes. I didn't regret a single moment of it, though, and I nodded to myself before sliding the clubroom door open without hesitation.

As I walked in, both Yukino and Yuigahama greeted me as usual and I put my bag down next to my seat while responding with a quick "Yo".

While Yukino stood at the corner of the room brewing her personal tea mix, Yuigahama scratched her head a little and faced me. As she spoke, I wondered to myself how I was going to deliver the bad news to her.

"You know, it's been a while since we've gotten any requests." Yuigahama pointed out, puckering her lips and tapping the side of the table with her hand. "Right, Hikki? Yukinon?"

A brief moment of silence passed before I raised my head and shrugged casually.

"Oh. Well, this isn't a particularly busy time of year. The holidays just passed and most of the requests that people had in the past have already been addressed." I said, holding my palm flat in the air as I glanced over at Yukino, who seemed to be preoccupied with her tea-making.

"Don't worry, though. Valentines Day isn't too far away. I'm sure we'll get loads of _those_ people coming through soon." I continued, chuckling a little at the end. "We'll be back in full swing in absolutely no time."

Despite grinning at my remark, Yuigahama didn't respond and instead looked even more puzzled than she did moments ago. Both Yukino and I knew that she was a very intuitive person and even if she didn't know exactly what was going on, she could tell when something wasn't quite right. As Yuigahama seemed to be searching for the right question to ask, Yukino looked at me and gave me an affirmative nod, which I returned before turning back to Yuigahama.

Clearing my throat, I looked her in the eyes.

"Hey, Yuigahama." I said softly, narrowing my gaze before shaking my head.

Yuigahama looked at me worriedly.

"Yeah?" She replied, the growing concern evident in the tone of her voice.

I took a deep breath, tensing my fingers and staring at the ground before resting them on the table and looking back at Yuigahama.

"There's something I have to tell you about." I said, my gaze meeting hers. "Judging by your reaction, you may or may not have figured it out by now, but, well… On Saturday night…"

I shook my head, looking at the ground again. I really didn't want to have to talk about it, but Yuigahama was a person who deserved to know.

 _Just come out with it._ I could hear my inner voice saying as I sighed.

"On Saturday night, I had an incident at my house."

Her expression tense and her eyes wide open, Yuigahama remained silent as I went on.

"I collapsed in my bathroom shortly after getting home from that study session that we had at Yukino's apartment. Of course, I was rushed to the hospital and had a bunch of tests run on me to see what was going on… It's bad. I had a seizure, and when the results from the CT scan came back, a fresh tumor was found near my brain stem. It's inoperable, so there's nothing the doctors can do about it."

Yuigahama covered her mouth while sitting speechless. She could probably figure what I was going to say next.

"From what my oncologist told me, I don't have much time left, and I'm going to die within the next few months. It's no longer just a possibility. It's black and white. She told me that there's a chance that I might not even make it to graduation."

I bit my lip harshly before closing my eyes and looking down. I could almost taste blood as I squeezed my bottom lip between my teeth and awkwardly scratched my neck. Before Yuigahama could say anything, I continued.

"My sister called Yukino and told her about it yesterday morning. We were going to let you know, but we couldn't find the right time or way to say it, so we decided to wait until now to tell you."

Yuigahama remained speechless and stared at me with the same concerned look that she'd been wearing this whole time. Suddenly, I noticed her hands begin to tremble. It was beginning to sink in. I could see tears coming out of her eyes as her trembling grew worse.

"Hikki, I- I'm so sorry…" She said with a wavering voice before leaning forward and putting her hand on top of mine. "I don't even know how to-"

I shook my head and placed my other hand on top of Yuigahama's and reassuringly spoke back to her.

"I don't know, either. To be honest, I'm still kind of reacting to the news. It was all really sudden, you know."

Yuigahama sniffled before nodding in agreement. I went on.

"Just a couple nights ago, I was fine. Everything was going great for me. My treatment was going well. I was beginning to near the top of our class in academic rankings, I was making some really good progress physically and mentally. I was with you and Yukino. We were laughing and eating dinner together. I was beginning to consider my future for the first time. Just two days ago…"

I grimaced and shook my head yet again.

"It's crazy how fast that can all change, though. Goddamn." I said, looking away as my voice became a little shaky.

Still stricken with disbelief, Yuigahama violently shook her head.

"I- I don't get it, Hikki. It just doesn't make any sense. Weren't you getting better?" She asked.

I slowly gathered myself before looking back up at Yuigahama and answering her question.

"I was for some time. As you remember, I stopped going to treatment everyday and after a while, the oncologist gave me some pills and told me that I'd only have to go in for check-ups. I don't understand how this happened, either…"

As I trailed off, Yukino apprehensively walked over to the table and placed her tea set down to the side before pulling a seat next to Yuigahama and I. I began to replay Saturday's visit to the ER in my head. I could remember almost every detail, from the time we got there to buzzing noise that the CT machine made to the color of the dress that my oncologist was wearing when she came in.

Looking Yukino in the eyes, I was reminded of a conversation that we had back at her apartment shortly after I got the results from my first CT scan.

 _You've definitely held through on your promise…_ I thought to myself, the tiniest of smiles finding its way to my face.

Yukino looked somewhat confused as to whether she thought she should start pouring tea. Her hands kept moving back and forth between the teapot and her lap. I chuckled a little, breaking some of the tension in the room.

"You can pour me some tea if you want. I could actually use a small pick-me-up." I said suggestively while sporting a meek grin.

"Ah, okay then. Yuigahama-san, would you like any tea as well?" Yukino asked softly.

"Sure, I'll have a little." Yuigahama replied with a quick nod.

As Yukino began pouring tea into the little cups, I rested my head on the back of my chair and stretched my legs out. Even in times like these, enjoying Yukino's tea was always a happy part of what we did in club. After taking a small sip, I placed my cup back on its saucer and looked out the window, where I could see the last bits of the afternoon sunlight reflecting off the snow outside in a muffled, orange hue. I thought back a few months and began to reflect on some of the things my oncologist was telling me. Breaking the awkward silence once more, I spoke up, although I wasn't addressing anyone in particular.

"It's rather strange…." I said, staring at the peaceful afternoon sky. Yukino merely nodded while Yuigahama gently mumbled something unintelligible.

"A while back, shortly after I got the results from my first CT scan, my oncologist told me what my prognosis was looking like. Of course, things were starting to clear up a bit, so she told me that my condition was slowly beginning to improve. However, she also told me that due to the nature of the type of cancer I have that everything was subject to change at any point in time. When she was addressing me and my family a couple nights ago, that little mention came back into the forefront of my mind… Ahh, that's not it, though."

Pondering further, I took another sip of tea. Still spacing out at the snow piles outside, I continued.

"She said something else about focusing on current progress instead of thinking about the worst that could happen. Now that worse has come to worst, it seems impossible to discern between the two. I wonder what she meant when she mentioned it to me. Was it something to keep my spirits up, or was it actually the way she was looking at things? Surely it was both. She's always been forthcoming, yet strangely optimistic…

"If I were faced with the same news a couple of years ago, I probably would've hated her for being careful and roundabout in the way she answered my questions. Now, though, I'm glad that she did hold the enthusiasm and optimism that she held. It rubbed off, and in a good way… Sort of in the same way that your father did."

I turned my head towards Yukino as I went on.

"Part of me still holds the same passion that I had before Saturday night, despite only having a short-lived future to look forward to. There's so much I feel driven to do and there's so much more I feel I can do as compared to before this all began. It feels enlightening, but it doesn't make any sense, either."

Scratching my chin, I finished my thought.

"I want to understand it. I want to understand myself, you know…"

Yukino and Yuigahama silently sipped their tea, letting my words linger in the air like a thick mist. There wasn't really much for them to say, but at the same time, I wasn't making conversation. I was opening my conscience and speaking my mind, something I wouldn't have dared to do without feeling regret several months ago. Yukino and Yuigahama seemed to understand this as well, as they continued to sit quietly.

It was funny, really. Several months ago when I sat in this room, I wanted nothing more than to end the suffocating stillness that surrounded me when I walked in. It was even more terrifying than the reason for the stillness itself. Now, however, there was sort of a serenity to the hush and lull that encompassed the clubroom. Even though we didn't say anything, all three of us were in sync with one another as we sat around the rectangular table in the center of the room.

Although steeped in a rather somber moment, I was glad that I had two close, understanding people to bear through it with me. Over the past couples of years, we'd grown to be close friends and over the last half year or so, we'd come to know and hold each other up in ways that none of us would've ever foreseen. In fact, we'd all grown since we met for the first time in this room nearly two years ago. Yuigahama learned how to express herself and later came to terms with rejection. Yukino had broken down her icy persona and opened up to become a sweeter person overall. Although she'd grown very close to me, she let go of her dependency and found a way to begin mending ties with estranged family members and think about what she wanted to do for herself in the future. And me? Well… There was a lot to say on my behalf as well, of course.

After a few minutes of pondering to myself, I looked up to see Yukino pouring herself another cup of tea.

 _I wonder how many times I'll get to sit in club like this again._ I thought to myself, noting the warm scent of cinnamon as it filled the air.

Medical crises and tragic news set aside, we had slightly over a couple dozen club meetings left in the school year. There was sure to be at least a few requests here and there and I was almost positive that Hiratsuka-sensei had something planned for us at the end of the year. Our time in the Service Club was drawing to a close, but it wasn't going to fizzle and fade by any means. If anything, I'm sure that Hiratsuka-sensei would make sure of that. My time, however, wasn't as certain. Perhaps that was why I felt the drive and urgency that nearly pushed me past my limit this morning.

Maybe I'd begun to realize that life and all its possibilities were richer than I could've ever imagined. Maybe I'd come to the realization that I'd never get to experience many parts of it in its entirety for obvious reasons. Maybe I was pushing myself to get a taste of what it was like to live up to the best that I could be even if I'd never get to see my full potential. Then again, maybe it was just desperation and I was completely delusional in my expectations. Either way, I could feel this innate curiosity, this desire for answers to questions that I'd had for my entire life but never bothered to look into.

 **A/N:**

 **Hey, guys! Bronze V Lee Sin here! I don't have much to say this time around, but thanks for the support and the warm welcome back. I greatly appreciate it. There's definitely more on the way. Also,**

 **I'm elated to hear about the Volume 12 announcement and I'll be keeping my eyes and ears open for its release. It couldn't have come soon enough if you ask me, but I know that Watari has been putting in his due time to make this next volume great. I honestly can't wait to see all our fan theories put to the test as Watari proves us all wrong (as expected). Hikuu!**

 **P.S. I never played much Lee Sin but I used to be a really bad Vayne main back in the day before I quit playing League. You know that Vayne who just can't seem to grasp that tumbling into teamfights is a bad idea? Yeah, that was me. Now I just spend my leisure time writing, playing the guitar and grinding for PP in Osu. SS or quit, baby! See you around in the next chapter!**


	23. Chapter 22: Epiphany Pt 2

Ch. 22: Epiphany Pt. 2

Leaning back in my chair while slowly sipping some of Yukino's favorite tea mix, I placed my feet up on the desk, half-resting and half-teetering in a balancing act that was more dangerous than I was willing to admit. As I brought one arm behind my head, I took another sip with the other and looked out the window.

 _Fridays... Always my favorite day of the week._ I thought to myself, resting the legs of my chair on the ground and closing my eyes for a second.

The last week had been quite relaxed for the Service Club as we hadn't seen any requests and there wasn't a whole lot of work to take care of. It was probably for the best since I could tell that Monday had put a damper in our spirits. Other classmates and peers had learned of the new developments in my condition as well and many of them came forth to express their sadness and support. It was a slow week with a slogging atmosphere, but my state of mind was still intact. One thing I was happy to see was that Yukino and Yuigahama had gone back to their usual selves and that our continuous banter had started back up again.

As I began drifting off in my chair, my senses were brought back as I noticed that the room had gotten awfully quiet. Confused, but otherwise unfazed, I shrugged and turned to my other side to see that Yukino had apparently disappeared.

"Oh, where did you-" I began, still feeling sleepy from my momentary nap.

Instantly, I felt a poke on my thigh and looked behind me. Another poke came to my other thigh and I turned to my side to find that no one was there. Dazed, I looked behind me and noticed that no one was there, either. Scratching my head, I groggily tried to make sense of the situation before hearing an outburst of laughter.

"Peekaboo, Hachi-kun." Said a rather entertained Yukino who crawled out from underneath the desk and patted me on the shoulder.

Fully regaining my senses, I realized that Yukino and I were sitting in my room and that my feet were still on my desk. Putting them down on the ground, I rubbed my eyes and took a long yawn.

 _Oh, that's right…_ I thought to myself idly. _School's already done. We're at home now. Sheesh, it must've been a long day._

Simmering down her laughter, Yukino looked at me and shook her head.

"Feeling tired?" She asked amusedly, laying on my bed with her hands supporting her head.

Admittedly, I was. After waking up early to go on my routine run and spending extra time in club addressing Valentine's-related requests from nervous first-years, I was feeling slightly fatigued, and afternoon naps were without a doubt a favorite pastime of mine. Always had and always would be. Placing a single finger on my chin, I shrugged my shoulders and yet out another yawn.

"Perhaps…" I said, answering Yukino's question. "Either that or you spiked my tea with something."

"It appears you're sleepy regardless, Hiki-groggy-kun." Yukino replied, scoffing in amusement.

"Oh, so you're admitting that you did spike my tea, then…" I shot back, mimicking Yukino's gesture by placing my hands on my cheeks and setting my elbows on my desk.

"Hmph. I admit to absolutely nothing." Yukino said, sitting up straight and crossing her arms. As if to turn away from me, she put her feet on my bed and faced my window. Speaking in a softer tone, she continued. "Anyhow, I did add a touch of honey since you had some in your pantry."

"Oh?" I responded, raising a single brow.

Curiously, I took another sip from the small cup sitting on my desk. I didn't notice much at first other than the fact that the tea had cooled a bit, but a few seconds later, I could sense a sweet aftertaste on the tip of my tongue.

 _Sweet, almost like Maxx Coffee._ I thought to myself, finishing the rest of my cup. _Ahh, you're not kidding anyone. It's not THAT sweet. Still good, though._

Yukino cleared her throat.

"So, the Culture Festival is coming up in about a week or so. We haven't gotten a single request about it so far. Strange, no?"

 _Hmm... The Culture Festival…_

Now that Yukino brought it up, I'd definitely noticed that the Service Club hadn't seen anyone from the student council in weeks. That could mean one of two things…

"Well, either there's a disaster brewing and we're about to get bombarded with a laundry list of last-minute requests from Isshiki, or she's got the whole thing down, no sweat." I said, shrugging my shoulders.

"Ahem, if there is a disaster brewing, I needn't mention that _you're_ the one who's getting hit with that laundry list." Yukino said, poking me in the shoulder.

"Pssh, as if I need reminding about that." I retorted, poking her in return. Sighing, I put my feet back on my desk. "In any case, I think she's fine. After all, she managed to pull off the Christmas Festival after a mere pep-talk. That being said, I wonder what kind of festivities we'll be having this year…"

"I would assume the usual." Yukino replied. "Contests, miniature food stands, the marathon, an organized school spirit rally. If they have enough creative liberty, I suppose they could create a few events of their own."

"Yeah, I suppose so…" I replied lazily, my mind caught on something that Yukino mentioned.

 _The marathon, huh?_

Bringing up last year's schoolwide marathon was enough to ignite a swirl of memories. Finishing dead last, briefly talking to Hayama, having Yukino treat my wounds in the infirmary after it was all over… It was like thinking about a different era. Although I'd probably thought this over a thousand times in the past few weeks, so much had changed since then. My circumstances had obviously taken a drastic turn, but everyone around me had also been changing… Growing…

As I glanced downward, a faint glimmer of light came through my blinds and shined on what appeared to be a sliver of paper. Curiously, I reached down under my bed and slid it out with my hand. As I picked it up, I noticed that it was a bit thicker than paper and felt smooth on the backside. Seeing it was covered in dust, I wiped it off on my shirt and gently shook the edges. Flipping it over, I held it to the light and noticed that it was an old photograph.

 _How curious…_ I thought to myself. _I wonder how this got here._

In a quick motion, Yukino scooted across my bed and moved next to me to get a better view of what I was holding.

"What is that, Hachi-kun?" She asked curiously, her eyes fixated upon the object in my hands.

"Good quest-"

I shrugged my shoulders and answered her question to the best of my ability before stopping myself and examining the photo once more.

Wiping the photo with the edge of my thumb again, I saw my parents, both dressed in yukata, standing in front of our local shrine. They looked much younger and their faces had yet to show the signs of exhaustion that were to come as the result of their recently over-booked corporate careers. Underneath another layer of dust were two mysterious, yet familiar faces. Yukino perked her ears and gasped.

"Oh my. Is that-"

With another sweeping motion of my thumb, I interrupted Yukino with a brief chuckle. My mother could be seen holding an infant Komachi and standing next to my father was a much younger me, smiling a radiant smile while staring at the camera with an ice cream cone in my hands.

"Yeah, that's exactly who you think it is." I said, laughing a little more audibly this time. "I wonder how old this is…"

Yukino pointed to the bottom left-hand corner of the photo and rested her finger above a series of red, printed digits. Following her gesture, I saw that she was pointing to the date, which showed that the photo was taken just over thirteen years ago. Acknowledging Yukino's observation, I nodded acquiescently. Looking back at the photo, I studied the expression on my younger self's face. Like the other members of my family, I was clearly having a blast, and the smile on my face mirrored that of my sister, whose demeanor hadn't changed one bit over the years. It was a funny thing to see, since I had been reserved and mildly depressed for as long as I could remember. Seeing this photo brought back dreams that I swore to abandon years ago. Yet, somehow, it felt like a return to my roots.

"Wow, Hachi-kun! You and Komachi-san look so adorable in this photo!" Yukino exclaimed, her eyes open wider than usual.

I smiled and placed the photo on my desk, leaning it against the side of my wall.

 _That smile brings back memories…_ I thought to myself, staring at younger me. _I wonder what made me so jubilant back then._

On the surface level, I was merely a small child, barely exiting his toddler years. I lived in a comfortable environment that was set up for me and I had no idea about any of what was to come in the next thirteen years. Things were simple and there wasn't yet anything to worry about. Being happy was just the default. I probably had no clue how cruel young children could be to one another and I certainly didn't anticipate any of that cruelty being directed towards me. My early school years weren't the most enjoyable, and they undoubtedly did a number on any sort of inner happiness that I let out around others. Trying to be joyful and friendly got me disgusted remarks so I did what was natural as a response: I stopped. It was almost like one of those experiments where a mouse is placed into a cage with food and inflicted with excruciating pain every time it takes a nibble. Eventually the mouse associates the act of eating with the pain and goes as far as to starve itself to avoid it. Likewise, I withdrew and eventually convinced myself that I wanted nothing to do with other people and that I didn't care one bit for anyone else. My interests and innate curiosity were replaced with bitterness and pessimism.

However, even with all the changes that I forced myself through, my true nature always found a way to shine through. I was drawn to helping other people despite the fact that I distanced myself from them. In time, I began slowly but surely opening up and recently, I found myself on good terms with everyone that I knew. Curiously, it felt like there was a part of that happy little boy from over a decade ago that had managed to weather the unpleasant years and resurface even in the face of death.

As I turned my gaze away from the little stock photo, I noticed that the hue of light shining through my blinds had turned a warm red and that it was getting slightly darker. Looking to my left, I saw Yukino giggling to herself as she looked at the picture. She let another silent moment pass before getting up and standing behind me, her fingers gently tracing the incision scar through the hair on the top of my head.

"You've been pretty quiet the past couple of minutes, Hachi-kun. Is anything wrong?" She asked, placing her hands on my shoulders.

I shook my head.

"Nah, I'm just doing some thinking." I replied truthfully, placing one of my hands on top of Yukino's.

At that moment, I felt a wave of realization wash over me. Although it was hard to put into words, I felt as if I'd found the missing piece to a large puzzle.

Truth be told, nothing had changed over the years. I was still Hikigaya Hachiman, the joyful, curious little boy from the picture that was taken thirteen years ago. During the good times and the bad times, the times I spent shutting myself away from everyone I knew, and even during my darkest moments, I still carried my humanity with me.

On a more existential note, it all came back to the ages old question about the meaning of life. Quite frankly, there was none. It was nearly impossible to see that life itself had any sort of universal meaning to it and it was even stranger to think that a person might have a set purpose before they're even born. I never asked to be born, but I was here nonetheless and despite what I knew, I could feel a strong sense of purpose and meaning. Meaning itself was intrinsic and much of it came from within. Whether or not I realized it or was willing to admit, I had always craved some sort of meaning in the same way that I genuinely cared for others that I knew. The meaning that I sought and the motivation that kept me going despite having a terminal illness were there from the start.

 _Of course._

At the very core of things, I always wished to experience all that there was for me to experience. Circumstances might've changed how I expressed that desire over the years, but it was always there, lingering beneath the surface. Apathy and reclusion masked it for years, but it remained, waiting patiently for the right catalyst to set it free. There was a reason why I felt like I was regaining a small piece of myself when I saw the old picture and took a long look at my goofy smile. It's because I was. Or rather, I was being reminded of a part of myself that I had buried so deep that I had nearly forgotten it.

As I brought my attention back to my immediate surroundings, I saw Yukino looking at me in a concerned, yet understanding fashion. Still running her fingers through my hair, she sighed and brought her face down to my shoulders so close that I could hear the beating of her heart and the rhythm of her breathing in sync with one another. Turning my head, I whispered quietly into her ear.

"Thank you."

Yukino nodded and delivered the faintest of pecks to my left cheek. With hardly any words being exchanged, she knew that I was having a personal moment and stayed silent as I was thinking inwardly. Yet, with her gentle motions, she offered her support and kept a life raft handy lest I start drowning in the ocean of my own psyche.

The rest of the evening went by smoothly and cozily. Yukino, Komachi, and I cooked dinner and ate out in the living room while watching television while my parents went out to watch a movie, a casual activity that they hadn't been able to indulge in for years. I thought about the upcoming marathon and pondered on how I'd pace myself around the course terrain.

Coming across that picture was a funny little happening. I honestly had no clue how it got there and, to be honest, I'd forgotten about its existence entirely before I found it. That old, dusty photo served as a firm reminder of who I was and sparked a thought that got me to rearrange different pieces of my conscience like fitting together pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Sure, it was far from finished, but the big picture was beginning to emerge. I felt like I was learning more and more about myself, which was a strange, yet oddly satisfying experience.

 **A/N:**

 **Hey guys, Bronze V Lee Sin here once again! Things are going really well on my end and I just hit a really nice groove of productivity where my writing seemed to flow a lot more naturally and I was able to get a lot done. After countless times of saying that I couldn't write for one reason or another, things have looked up once again. Also, thank you all so much for the continued support! I know I don't get many reviews these days, but getting over 1k favorites has left me stunned once more. Just… Wow!**

 **As has been pointed out, Chapter 21 didn't really feel like it did much for Hachiman's personal growth and development. As Frampt said, it felt like Hachiman's personal understanding was at a frustrating standstill. My hope was that he'd begin to see the progress that he'd made through this mundane, yet foreboding journey of his by being placed in a scenario similar to the one he found himself in at the beginning of the story and that this retrospective glimpse would spark the thought processes that took place in this chapter. It probably made more sense after reading this chapter, but since the déjà vu chapter was written as a standalone, I can sympathize and even empathize with some of the frustration that readers might've had when reading it as it was released. It was a necessary risk to take, but hopefully it paid off and continues to pay off.**

 **Once again, thank you to everyone who has decided to follow/favorite and big thanks to those who've left their feedback. It has been of much use to me, and I wouldn't have made it this far without you guys there to both support me and call out the potentially weak areas of my writing. You all are indispensable to me. Bronze V Lee Sin out! Hikuu!**


	24. Chapter 23: Friend

Chapter 23: Friend

It was a sunny day at Sobu High, although the post-winter chill and the melting snow that began to form puddles provided a rather amusing contrast in temperature. Classes had finished early for the day and the Culture festival was now in full swing. Students and teachers alike seemed to be enjoying themselves.

As I walked alongside Yuigahama and Yukino, my attention drifted towards a small stand at the edge of the soccer field. A deliciously familiar aroma filled my nostrils, making my mouth water as I casually strolled about. I absentmindedly made glances over towards the food area while the two ladies on either side of me continued their conversation.

"…had to spend all afternoon cleaning up after Sable!" Yuigahama exclaimed, shaking her head in displeasure.

"Oh? What happened?" Yukino asked, an amused look forming on her face.

"Well, you see, I got home late and he hadn't been fed yet, so when I walked in, there was slobber all over the couch and he was chewing the carpet."

"Oh dear, that must've been unpleasant…"

As we continued walking, I thought idly to myself, briefing over the past couple of weeks. Recently, things had been strangely relaxed for me. Despite all that had taken place, I'd managed to go about business as usual and I was glad to be enjoying myself in good company. Although the fear of death cast an ominous shadow, I was beginning to use it as a driving force in my everyday life. Time seemed to pass slower and my waking hours felt like a gift as opposed to a burden.

Yukino was incredibly supportive and understanding this whole time, holding true to the promise that she made to me weeks ago. Her calm, yet embracing presence helped keep me sane and regain my bearings when I was at my lowest. She was also beginning to come out of her shell a little bit more, as she'd become more talkative than before.

 _Well, she's always been somewhat talkative, but she's initiated a lot more casual conversation recently… Not that I mind, of course._

After a moment or two, I noticed that Yuigahama and Yukino had paused their conversation and were staring at me. Promptly, I heard two quiet snickers.

"The festival just started and it appears Hachi-kun is already titillating himself with the thought of ramen." Yukino said jokingly, pretending to hold a bowl in her palm.

"Of course. I wouldn't want to miss out on _that_ of all things." I replied, raising my brow and glancing again in the direction of the stall. "It's a shame I can't have any right now, though. Wouldn't want to upchuck an entire bowl during the marathon. It'd be waste, you know."

"Speaking of…" Yuigahama trailed off, pulling her phone out of her pocket, presumably to check the time. "There's about 10 mi-"

As I realized what Yuigahama was getting at, I heard Iroha's voice over the field intercom and saw a mass of people wearing green tracksuits beginning to congregate around the edge of the field. I nodded in acknowledgement and turned myself towards Yukino and Yuigahama.

"Alright, I gotta get going." I said, gesturing towards the start line with my head.

Yukino stepped forward and placed her hand on top of mine, inching up ever-so lightly on her toes. She quickly pecked me on the cheek and showed an excited smile.

"Have fun, Hachi-kun. Yuigahama-san and I will be cheering for you!" She said, letting go of my hand and clapping hers together happily.

I grinned in return and jogged towards the track with an extra pep in my step. When I arrived at the start line, I took in a fresh breath of air and went through my usual stretches. The harsh contrast of the cold air mixed with the glaring sun rays stimulated my senses as I brought my knee to my chest. After a few quick minutes, we all received instruction to line up and I took my mark towards the front of the group and off to the side. Iroha stepped away and handed the microphone to Hiratsuka-sensei, who cleared her throat and began counting down to the start of the race.

"Alright, everyone's lined up and good to go. We're starting in 10… 9… 8… 7… 6... 5…"

Looking ahead at the course, I straightened my posture and exhaled slowly.

"4… 3…"

I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stiffen and I gently opened the palms of my hands while holding my arms in front of me.

"2…"

Thinking back to that morning from a couple weeks ago, I briefly closed my eyes and focused on what I felt back then. A range of mental images, thoughts, and emotions flooded my brain, but I was calm as ever, embracing it all.

"1…"

This would be the last time I partook in the school marathon and perhaps even the last time I got to run period. I was going to milk the experience for what it was worth and make the most of it, regardless of the outcome or circumstances.

Suddenly, the gun popped with a sharp crack and the race had officially begun. Teachers and female students encouragingly cheered us on, their voices becoming quieter as we rounded our first turn and approached the other side of the school. The rapid breathing of those finding their own rhythm around me played out like a cacophonous human orchestra and the scent of morning dew gently masked the smell of asphalt.

As I gently pulled to the front of the lead pack, I saw a small glint out the corner of my eye which happened to be the sunlight shining off of the leftover precipitation. I felt no fatigue as I continued moving forward, despite the fact that I was pushing myself hard. I'd done this many times before, so the rush of running came to me naturally and instead of gasping and panting like a dog, I was gracefully taking strides while breathing in controlled, measured breaths. It almost felt like I was floating or observing myself from my own perspective without actually being in my body. Moving around like this was calming and blissfully liberating. After a while, it seemed like it was only me and the road ahead of me.

I let my mind wander as I continued pounding forward and idly thought about my current circumstances and what I was doing right now, at this very moment.

Every time I decided to reflect on my life, I learned something new, whether it be something small and insignificant or something monumental and revelation-like. Time itself seemed to be fairly variable as the way I perceived it always seemed to be changing. Of course, boring activities and unappealing encounters were bound to make time slow down a little, but in the grand scheme of things, time itself seemed to accelerate in its passing. When I was younger, my older relatives would always tell me to "wait until I was their age" and that such a time would become present in absolutely no time. Hell, even Hiratsuka-sensei brought it up a few times. It was scary to think entire years of my life would amount to nothing but short blips in my memory, but it was doubly true in my case since most of my life seemed to mesh together in its own right. It wasn't just because I was getting older, however.

I was living life like I was immortal, letting entire days, weeks, months go to waste when I withdrew from the world. It was easy to put things off and figure that they would better themselves tomorrow when tomorrow seemed certain and immeasurable. However, when that changed, I noticed that time began to slow down. The last several months of my life were perhaps the longest several months I'd ever experienced. It wasn't until I could feel my own life draining from me that I realized that every moment spent alive and well was a joyous one and hence a memory in and of itself to cherish. As they say, time slows down when you're exposed to new things…

 _...or when it feels like time itself might end from the perspective of the observer._ I thought to myself, almost completely oblivious of the fact that I was unconsciously beginning to pick up my running pace.

 _Speaking of time..._

As I looked ahead, I noticed that I was drawing near the end of the race course. The lead pack was barely visible behind me, but I could see Hayama about ten meters ahead, cruising steadily. He, too, seemed to be adjusting his pace as we approached the final stretch. As we rounded the last turn, I saw the finish line with the unbroken ribbon ahead of me and increased my pace once more, unleashing the afterburners. Hayama looked over his shoulder surprised as I came up to him and before we knew it, we were neck and neck. With about a hundred meters left to spare, I broke into an all-out sprint, leaving Hayama a few meters behind me. The spectators looked equally as surprised as I came closer and closer to the finish. I could see Yukino and Yuigahama waving excitedly from the stands, and I smiled in return. With a proud, final stride, I barreled through the ribbon, trotting a couple dozen paces before coming to a stop and placing my hands above my head.

I breathed in the morning air, catching my breath as the finish line ribbon fell from my waist. I could hear Hiratsuka-sensei talking over the megaphone as I walked out of the finish area and towards the stands. People all around were applauding and Hiratsuka-sensei was announcing me as the winner of the boy's marathon.

From the middle of the crowd, I could see Yukino and Yuigahama making their way over to me. Yukino gave me a quick hug and Yuigahama held her hand up for a high-five, which I enthusiastically returned.

"Wow, Hachi-kun! You won the race! Great job!" Yukino exclaimed, her eyes filled with happiness and excitement. Yuigahama nodded in agreement.

"I know! You were flying at the end! Even Hayama-kun looked surprised that you could move so fast!" She shouted, darting her hand through the air in imitation of my bolting finish.

I chuckled for a moment before taking in another breath of the sharp morning air.

"Yeah, it was fun. Thanks for cheering me on. I appreciate it." I said simply, patting Yukino on the small of her back and smiling at Yuigahama. "When do you two have your ra-"

Before I could finish my question, I heard Iroha saying something over the intercom and noticed that all the girls were beginning to congregate around the edge of the track like I did earlier.

"I suppose that answered my question." I said with a chuckle. "I'll be cheering for you, too."

With that, Yukino and Yuigahama headed over to the waiting area as I waved them off. Just then, I felt a grumbling in my stomach and decided that it was high time I got myself something proper to eat.

Hungry as ever, I mozied my way over to the ramen stall, hoping to snag a delicious bowl before the line got too long. Thankfully, there were only a couple people in front of me and the stall itself was well-staffed. After a minute or so, I placed my order and stood in the waiting area next to the serving counter. A familiar male figure with blonde hair approached from the distance, heading towards the ramen line. As he got closer, I realized it was Hayama and gave him a hearty, affirmative nod.

"Ahh, there you are! Rushed off to get ramen after the race was over, I see." He said, gesturing towards the stall and patting me on the shoulder. "Nice job on the win. You took me by surprise at the end!"

"Yeah, had to get here before the crowd, you know." I replied jokingly, shrugging my shoulders and chuckling a little. Although I was being facetious, there was a tiny hint of truth to that statement.

"Thanks, by the way." I added earnestly.

Hayama tore off a paper slip from the order pad and hastily scribbled on it, putting it in the basket. Wiping his hands, he turned back towards me and leaned on the counter. I shook my head and let out a short laugh.

"It seems you rushed here to get ramen as well." I replied, raising a brow.

"Of course, of course. I'm hungry too." Hayama said, waving me down and patting his stomach. "I didn't realize that you were such a seasoned runner. Did you join the track team?"

"Nah, I've just been running on my own. My doctor recommended that I become physically active so I took it up a few months ago. After a while I guess it became a regular thing." I responded.

Hayama nodded and put a finger to his chin. He stared off into space for a short while, remaining silent. Looking behind me, I tried to see what Hayama was looking at, but couldn't find anything.

"I hated it at first since I was always beat tired at the end, but it gave me a way to focus my energy and clear my mind, so I kept with it." I continued, glancing over at the serving counter to check on my order.

The server placed two bowls on the counter, prompting Hayama to turn around and pick up the one with his name on it. He handed me the other one and gestured towards a nearby bench with his free hand.

"So, how's everything been hanging for you?" Hayama asked as we both took a seat. I paused for a second before answering.

"It's been alright. I've mainly been focusing on enjoying myself recently. There's not much else I can do at this point, but I've managed well. It kind of feels like time has slowed down and everything is moving in slow motion. Everyone around me has been great and understanding, too. Despite the situation I'm in, I've been having the time of my life."

Hayama nodded and smiled before slowly lowering his head and eating a mouthful of ramen. I followed suit and indulged myself as well.

"That's good to hear." Hayama said, looking back up at me. "When we were running earlier, I noticed that you had this peaceful look in your eyes. It was like you were at ease…"

I waved my chopsticks in the air and pointed down at the bowl of ramen sitting in my lap.

"Gotta keep your eye on the prize." I said sheepishly, shrugging my shoulders and taking another bite. Hayama chuckled and tapped his knee.

"Can't deny that." He replied simply, raising his brow while picking a piece of meat with his chopsticks. Raising his brow, he turned and faced me, pausing for a second as if he had something to say that he couldn't quite get out. After a brief moment of silence, Hayama slightly nodded to himself.

"Hey, Hikigaya-san. This might be inappropriate and out of the blue, but do you mind if I ask you a question?" He asked.

"Sure." I replied, listening intently.

Hayama took a small breath while briefly looking up at the sky.

"I've been meaning to ask you about this for a while and I'm sorry if I'm being insensitive, but do you ever think about the future that could have been? I mean, you've accomplished a lot in the past few months and everyone around you has taken notice." He said, still looking up, almost as if to avoid making eye contact. Slowly, he brought his gaze down and met mine.

"I have no doubt that you'd make it far in life if you had the time. I mean, I know it goes against your MO, but have you ever caught yourself thinking about such a thing?"

 _Now that certainly WAS out of the blue._

Taken aback, I put my thumb to my chin, chopsticks still in hand. I wasn't expecting that, but I didn't exactly mind either.

"If you don't want to talk about it, I completely understand. I didn't want to ruin your good mood or anything. It's just…" Hayama trailed off, as if he were losing his train of thought again.

I waved him down and shook my head, taking in a mouthful of ramen as I did so. I cleared my throat.

"It's fine, it's fine, I assure you." I said, gesturing sympathy with my free hand. "I don't mind talking about it. It's free therapy for me, anyways." I said, chuckling to myself as I ended on a light-hearted note.

Hayama smiled briefly, setting his bowl to the side and fixing his hair.

"I have thought about the what-ifs and could've-beens. It'd be weird if I never did. I'd like to think that I would go on as a free-lance writer and eventually start my own publishing business. Or maybe I'd be an independent journalist. Probably something along those lines…" I replied, shrugging my shoulders.

"You know, I haven't always been as calm as I look. There's a lot that's gone on inside of my head that I haven't said much about. I know you said that I seem like I've been at ease, and I certainly am, but there's been a lot of turbulence on the way here. Maintaining my composure has been a struggle, but I truly do believe that it's made me a stronger person."

Hayama nodded, his eyes narrowing intently as he did so.

"You have become a stronger person. It's been easy to see." Hayama remarked, a more serious look on his face. "I admire that kind of strength, you know. It must take a hell of a lot to stay sane, I'm sure. I look at my own troubles and they don't even seem to pale in comparison, yet I still worry about my own future everyday…"

I chuckled and patted Hayama on the back.

"Hey, everyone worries about their future. Even the strongest of men have worries of their own." I replied with a friendly laugh. "You're not a weak person for that. If anything, it makes you wiser and more cautious about your decision-making. Worrying is nothing to worry about. If anything, I have less to worry about than you do."

Hayama nodded affirmatively.

"You're right…" He trailed off for a second, looking out at the field.

"It's just that I've grown pretty nervous about my own future, you know? It probably sounds crazy since I'll have everything that I possibly need, but I'm worried about what'll become of everything I know and love after high school ends. I've spent a lot of time building the friendships that I cherish over the past few years and even though I'm sure nothing bad will happen between us before its over, I worry that we'll drift off and lose touch over the years… It's just scary to think that these days of my life- of OUR lives will one day be nothing but a distant memory."

That struck a chord within me. Although I didn't really have an entire lifetime to have to endure distancing relationships, I did know that the ones that I had meant a lot to me. Having to walk down my own path while growing apart from those I came to care about deeply would be difficult to stomach. I wouldn't say I had an easy way out, but it was a stark reminder that every life has its own challenges.

"I'm sorry. I probably seem a bit overbearing, talking to you about my problems every time we speak." Hayama said, shaking his head a bit. "I'm probably a bit inconsiderate, but you've always seemed to understand me to some extent."

I shook my head and smiled. Although I still held a slight envy for those who would get to live out their lives and grow old, I also knew that they'd have more trials and tribulations to deal with as they went on.

"I don't blame you at all. Everyone goes through the pain of realizing that the current phase of their life is coming to an end. Even before I was diagnosed, I used to think about what would happen to the Service Club after high school was over. School's almost done for us now, and I think everyone is beginning to realize that things are going to be very different from here on out. Many critical decisions you make right after you graduate from Sobu High will affect how live the rest of your life. Same goes for everyone else. It's a scary thought, since everyone's essentially being taken from a pond and thrown out into the deep sea." I said with a slight air of melancholy.

Hayama let out a quick laugh and shook his hands above his shoulders as if he were simultaneously venting and joking about his own challenges.

"I know. Everyone else can feel it, too. There's this huge mixture of emotions that's really hard to describe. Happiness about being done with high school, excitement about the future, anxiety about the exact same thing, sadness about the sobering reality that many of us are never going to see each other again. I can tell it's bringing us all closer together, but that's also a worry since it'll make the parting that much more difficult. Many of us were willing to take risks and leaps of faith that we normally wouldn't have been willing to because we were concerned about preserving our little dynamic. It just feels so…" Hayama trailed off. "Surreal? Strange? Probably both."

Thinking back to how I felt when I received my original diagnosis, I empathetically nodded in agreement.

 _A flood of emotions, a fragile group dynamic, leaps of faith…_ I pondered, while sitting in silence. I was absolutely no stranger to any of these.

"If it means anything, I think that the fact that you're telling me about this means that you're self-aware. That's a good thing, you know. You're taking everything in instead of shutting down, which is bold in and of itself. It's not easy to do. Trust me, I would know…" I started.

"The changes that you're going through right now are natural and inevitable. Chances are, you're going to drift away from the people you hold near and dear to you right now. You'll still be putting an immense amount of effort to keep in touch with those you don't drift away from. People are going to walk in and out of your life for the rest of your life and become nothing but memories, just like these friends will. However, you'll still carry your experiences and memories with you for as long as you live and you'll be able to reminisce whenever you please. You'll have good memories and bad memories and cases where you long for old times that'll never return. These memories aren't just chapters of your life. They're the core part of who you are and they will affect you in whatever way you let them.

"I probably sound a bit cynical when I say this, but the only person who's ever going to be in your life 100% of the time is yourself. You may or may not have people there to support you as you pass through your own journey, which is sobering to consider when you're alone and you've fallen on hard times. I've been lucky enough to have a great group of people around me for the last few months, which have been both the best and worst time of my life. Regardless, the only voice you'll hear as you close your eyes for the last time and drift into eternal slumber is your own, so it's important to learn to understand and make peace with yourself above all else. When you do, it'll be easier to empathize with others as individuals even if they come from a different walk of life. Learn to enjoy things and live in the moment from time to time. Enjoy the good times while they last and acknowledge that the rougher times will eventually end. Life's too short to ruminate over what could've been. What's real is what has happened and what is happening in front of you right now."

I sighed, picking up my bowl of ramen and polishing the last little bits of noodle. Feeling satiated and overall satisfied, I tossed the empty bowl into a nearby trashcan.

"If you want my honest take, just enjoy yourself. Don't worry about trying to please everyone or parting ways with your friends. We've still got a few weeks left, you know. There's a lot of fun to be had yet." I said, nudging Hayama in the shoulder.

Hayama and I looked at each other for a second before exchanging a round of laughter.

"You know, I've always been blown away by your insightfulness." Hayama said, visibly at ease.

"Ahh, don't mind me. I'm just a talking head at this point." I replied jokingly, shrugging my shoulders.

"We're all taking heads to some extent." Hayama said, returning my gesture and shrugging alongside me. He sighed before looking at me and shaking his head a little.

"You know, I'm gonna miss you too, Hikigaya-san. You've been a good friend to me, even if we were never all that close until recently. If things didn't have to go this way for you, you'd be one of the people I try to keep in touch with." He said, a genuine, warm smile on his face. "I hope I never forget the words you left me with."

I merely nodded and smiled back, reflecting on what Hayama just said. There was nothing left to be said.

 _A good friend..._ I thought to myself, looking out at the now-empty track. It felt nice knowing that there was another person that I could have a heart to heart with. Although I spent a lot of time thinking to myself, it became apparent that I had been able to discover a large part of myself through other people. As someone who had originally sworn himself away from others, it actually felt nice to be proven wrong.

I noticed Hayama take a glance at his watch before tapping me on the shoulder.

"The girl's marathon started a little while ago." He pointed out. "I've got someone I'm cheering on, so I'm gonna head over. You coming?"

I nodded enthusiastically in return.

"Of course! I'm cheering for someone as well." I replied. "You wanna get another bowl of ramen after this?"

Hayama paused for a second before shrugging his shoulders.

"Sure, why not?" He replied. "I'm probably going to have to wait a bit before my appetite kicks in again, but I'm all for it."

With that, we headed over to the finish line, talking casually about the festival, the school year, and whatever topics came to mind. Although we weren't exactly birds of a feather, Hayama and I both found a friend in each other.

 ** _A/N:_**

 **Hey, guys! Bronze V Lee Sin here! I've been gone for a little while and quite a bit has happened since then, so I'll summarize in short so I don't have to bore you all to death with details of my personal life. Although I took a lighter course-load than usual, I had an internship that ate up my time and finding the motivation to write was incredibly difficult. That being said, I did manage to finish this chapter, so there's that. Summer is here and once again, I'll pretty much have free reign to write as often as I wish and you can expect me to be much more active when that happens. In response to those who've mentioned concern about a lack of romantic progression between Hachiman and Yukino again, I have a lot in store for you in the next few chapters, so sit back and enjoy. The ride isn't anywhere near being over.**

 **I was personally pretty sad when I saw that volume 12 was delayed, but there's not a whole lot that we as fans can do except shake our heads and wait things out. I have faith that Watari will have it ready to go at some point in the next year or so, but my fingers are still crossed. Also, I'm looking forward to the rest of this summer in particular, not just because I'll have more time to write, but because a lot of our long-lost brethren might come back to life and bless us with more of their talent. *ahem* K-79 and lose *ahem***

 **Once again, I thank you all for the feedback and support and I'll see you all soon in the next chapter! Hikuu!**


	25. Chapter 24: Tip of the Iceberg

Ch. 24: Tip of the Iceberg

It was a typical day at Sobu High, nothing being out of place or out of the ordinary. As I hovered my hand over my tea to gauge if it was cool enough to drink, I waffed some of the steam towards my nostrils.

 _Interesting… I wonder if Yukino's using a different tea mix today._ I thought to myself, raising a brow and staring at the tea intently.

Nothing seemed different about the tea. It still carried its dark brown hue and the unmistakable scent of bergamot and cinnamon still rose gently from the cup. Something felt a little off, and I, out of curiosity, was interested in knowing what exactly was different (that is if there was anything). I brought the cup to my lips, sipping slowly as to not burn myself.

 _Hmm… It tastes like… Like…_

I couldn't quite put a tab on it. The sharp chill of the peppermint was replaced with something sweet and musky, almost as if it came from a ripened fruit. Looking over towards the other end of the table, I cleared my throat and called out to Yukino.

"Hey Yukino, did you put something new in the tea mix today?" I asked, savoring the newly introduced flavor on the side of my tongue.

"I did, actually." Yukino replied enthusiastically, reaching in her bookbag. She pulled out a mini-cloth bag and placed it in the center of the table for me to see. "In the spirit of the soon approaching Valentine's Day, I thought it would be appropriate to put rose petals in the mix. Do you like it?"

"Yeah, it's silky smooth." I responded before taking another sip.

A couple feet away, I could see Yuigahama cutting little paper hearts out of red card stock. Valentine's Day was indeed approaching quickly, as it was only a few days away and we'd spent the last couple of days handling almost comically romantic requests from nervous first years. The little red hearts that we were decorating the room with seemed to reflect that.

Yuigahama had been a little more quiet than usual lately, but for an understandable reason. All three of us in the Service Club knew that Yuigahama still felt something for me, even if that something had been reduced from romantic desire to mere fondness. We'd discussed the matter a couple of times and she seemed to have ultimately moved on. Even though she was less talkative with Valentine's Day soon approaching, she was still happy as ever. Looking up from her crafty work, Yuigahama called out to Yukino, a humorous tone in her voice.

"Hey, Yukinon. How many Valentine's Day requests have we gotten in the last week?" She asked curiously.

Yukino scrunched her nose and turned towards Yuigahama, picking one of the paper hearts off of the table.

"I couldn't tell you for certain since we haven't been keeping track, but if I had to guess, I'd probably put the number around ten to a dozen?" She responded, tracing her index finger around the top edge of the burgundy cardstock cutout. "Something like that."

Yuigahama tilted her head to the side, parsing her lips and muttering a quiet "huh" to herself.

"Really? It's gotta be more than that. It feels like half the girls in first year have been through here…" Yuigahama trailed off, holding a heart-shaped stencil over a new piece of cardstock.

"Well, we have had quite a few repeat visitors…" Yukino said with a chuckle, gently placing the heart back on the table. "I wonder if we should start giving out chocolate recipes…"

 _Chocolate recipes? Now that's an interesting idea…_ I thought to myself amusedly.

As Yuigahama and Yukino conversed, I looked out the window at the cloudy day and began to reflect on something that I'd noticed.

 _Yukino has definitely been much more flamboyant and assertive recently… Not just with me, but with Yuigahama and others as well. I wonder what's gotten into her recently…_

Within the past couple of weeks, Yukino had become almost as cheery as Yuigahama. It wasn't a change that I minded seeing, since it was good knowing that Yukino was willing to be open and friendly with everyone. However, I had the slightest feeling that there was something was off. I couldn't wrap my finger around it, but something just seemed...

 _…strange. Ah, well. If something was actually wrong, I'm sure Yukino would tell me about it. We've been good about communication and I trust her._

Besides, we'd just been through a lot together and she helped me out of a dark place not too long ago. I'm sure that she felt the strain from carrying part of my burden. Being cheery and outgoing for a change was welcoming and I had no qualms with it. A laugh from Yukino and Yuigahama brought me back as I nearly lost myself in my own little world.

"…how many people are going to stop by with Valentine's Day requests. I mean, if everyone knows about the little cards that we're making, won't it just seem weird for the person receiving the card? Like, if they know the card came from us?" Yuigahama asked worriedly. "Wouldn't it seem canned or something?"

Yukino shook her head. Reassuringly, she walked over to where Yuigahama was sitting and helped her stack the little paper hearts neatly.

"Of course not. It's the thought that counts. Plus, I don't think anyone is going to be able to tell whether or not the little heart they're received came from us. It's not like we put a stamp on it that says 'Sobu High Service Club'." Yukino said with an air of waggish sarcasm. "Besides, if it's done right, the recipient won't care much either way. Boys will be boys… Sorry, Hachi-kun."

Well, she wasn't entirely wrong… Many guys dreamed of receiving chocolates (non-obligatory of course) and personalized cards on Valentine's Day. I myself would've been delighted to get something like that as well back in the day, even if I would've convinced myself otherwise at the time.

"Hey now, who _doesn't_ like those sorts of things?" I replied, shrugging my shoulders and holding my palms open.

As Yukino opened her mouth to reply, the door to the clubroom opened up and an unusually tame Iroha came in. Yuigahama placed her stencil on the table and waved at Iroha despite her being merely a few feet away.

"Yahallo! Have you come to get your free Valentine's card as well?" She inquired as Iroha walked towards the table.

"Ahh, no…" Iroha replied with a slight blush on her face. "I was going to ask if you needed Senp-"

"He's all yours." Yukino shot back, an intuitive grin forming on her face. As per usual, she had her usual expectations for when Iroha asked for me specifically.

Iroha scratched the back of her head with a confused look on her face before turning to me and then back towards Yukino.

"Ahh, I don't need him to do anything for me today, but would you mind if we spoke in private? It has to do with the student council and him." She said calmly, nodding her head now that she knew what Yukino was originally thinking.

Yukino, Yuigahama and I looked at each other and then back at Iroha with curious looks. None of us were really expecting that from her.

"I guess I'll be back in a few." I said, turning to Yuigahama and Yukino before gesturing Iroha out into the hallway. Yukino nodded and Yuigahama went back to tracing paper hearts with her stencil.

 _I wonder what this is about…_ I thought to myself as I closed the door behind me.

After taking a few steps out into the hallway, I turned to Iroha.

"So, the student council needs something from me?" I asked, unsure of what Iroha was referring to just a moment ago. Did they have a job that only I could do?

 _No, that can't be it. There's nothing they need help with at the moment and if there was, Iroha would more than likely ask us all for help considering the last few times she's come to us…_ I thought to myself, my heel making muffled thuds as I tapped it against the hallway floor.

Iroha gently shook her head.

"Well, not exactly. The student council isn't asking any favors at least..." She began. For a moment, she paused as if she forgot what she was saying. We stood awkwardly looking away from each other until she cleared her throat and continued.

"Erm, the stude- _we_ were considering a potential nominee for someone in the graduating class to give a speech during the commencement ceremony and we thought that you would be an appropriate candidate."

 _Ah, that actually explains a lot…_ I thought to myself, paying attention to Iroha's disposition and the way she walked into the clubroom. If she wanted something, she would've come out with it straight away. This was a more delicate, private matter however.

"I know that graduation is a little over a month away and that you have… a lot… on your plate as well, but I thought it would be proper to extend the offer well in advance." She continued.

I simply nodded in response. I wasn't exactly sure how to react to this, but I was happy with the student council's offer. Maybe they were offering to have me speak as a final parting gift. Perhaps they respected my (albeit intermittent) assistance. It was pretty unlikely that they were doing this out of pure pity, even though I couldn't deny that it kind of felt like one of those "make-a-wish" arrangements (minus the wish of course). Although it wasn't my dream to be the class speaker, I appreciated the gesture and was happy to take the student council up on their offer.

"I'm glad to accept." I said after a moment of further deliberation. Iroha happily acknowledged me by rubbing her hands together and patting me on the shoulder.

I wasn't exactly sure what I'd say if put in front of a podium. There was so much and so little to say when it came down to it. I'd want to thank my family, club members, mentors, and peers for all the lessons and support and leave a bright, hopeful message for those in my class moving forward. Yet at the same time, coming up with the exact words to say would be like trying to pull knowledge out of a void. Oh, well. I had time to consider what I was going to say, so there wouldn't be too much of an issue there.

 _Besides, delivering a speech isn't the only way to reach out to people. You've already demonstrated that…_ I thought to myself before losing my train of thought.

"Well, in that case, I'll let you know when I've confirmed it with the rest of the student council and the school board." Iroha said, breaking the long pause. "It shouldn't take long, but you know how it goes with paperwork."

 _Yeah, that can always be a pain…_

"No worries, none at all." I said with a chuckle, thinking back to all the times I spent waiting for documents and reports to travel though the medical system. Every bureaucracy in existence had painfully slow internal communication and the school was definitely no exception.

Iroha folded her hands before speaking up again, this time with more of a low tone in her voice.

"Anyhow, I have to get back to work. You… take care now." She said plainly. I couldn't tell what I heard in her voice, but it sounded a bit like sadness and melancholy.

"Ahh, you too." I replied simply before walking back towards the clubroom, Iroha leaving to return to her usual duties moments later.

 _Strange... The last time I saw Iroha like this was when she came to visit me in the hospital._

People all around me were beginning to act stranger and stranger by the day. It was almost as if the smell of imminent death lingered with me, causing those around me to be stricken with grief even before I was gone. Although I couldn't blame anyone, it made me feel uneasy, especially as my final moments grew nearer and nearer. It felt like I was caught in a never-ending cycle of concern, anxiety, and in-the-moment bliss. Although Carpe Diem wasn't exactly my motto, I found myself living along those lines. It wasn't a bad thing at all. In fact, it helped me take steps within my own life that I wouldn't have been able to take otherwise and eased the pain and dread of not knowing if I'd make it another day.

On the other hand, seeing the sadness and worrying of those around me was always a sobering reminder of my bleak reality. Even though I was being treated with dignity and respect, I couldn't help but feel like a ticking time bomb with a hidden fuse. The highs and lows seemed to lessen in intensity the more I went through them, but they still took their toll. I could only pray that I'd get to die peacefully in my sleep after catching myself on one of the highs.

 _No reason to obsess over it at this point…_ I thought to myself as I walked back into the Service Club room.

* * *

Later in the evening, Yukino decided to drop by my house. For a few hours, we lost track of time as we laughed, joked with each other, and prepared dinner for my family and the two of us. As we'd recently started doing, we sat around the table sharing thoughts and memories as we enjoyed the meal the Yukino and I had prepared. Afterwards, we sat in the living room amusedly watching re-runs of a new game show that had just started airing.

 _It doesn't get much better than Yukino's home cooking…_ I thought to myself, satiated and satisfied as a certain someone brought me back into reality.

"…new water chestnut recipe?" I heard Yukino ask from my right side. Distracted, but amused, I turned to face her. I let out a curious "hmm" and tilted my head to the side.

"Did you enjoy my new water chestnut recipe?" She repeated.

 _Oh, that's right. We actually were talking about dinner…_

"Yeah, it was great. It absorbed the flavor of the beef really well." I responded, having regained my bearings. "I think we should try making it as a stew next time."

A stew, nice and simple. Toss in the ingredients and let simmer for an hour before coming back and balancing flavors and adding spices. Perfect for someone like me who wasn't too keen on the more nuanced parts of cooking and preparing food.

"I don't know about that." Yukino said, scrunching her nose and moved back a little as if she were offended by the idea. "The chestnuts would become mush and that would take away from the crunchy texture… Leeks would probably be more fitting, don't you think?"

 _Hmm... I like that idea. Beef strips, leeks, and maybe some cayenne pepper…_

"That's actually a pretty solid idea. We should make that next time." I replied with a casual shrug. Yukino nodded in agreement and casually reached over for the television remote, turning down the volume a couple notches.

For a moment, we sat and stared at the TV screen as it flashed sporadically with comical subtitles. Neither of us seemed to be paying attention to what was going on, but rather we indulged ourselves in the activity of mindlessly watching. After a minute or two of this surprisingly comfortable silence, Yukino turned to me again.

"So, what did you and Iroha discuss earlier?" She asked, an inquisitive yet respectful tone in her voice. "That is, unless it's private. She did mention that it was between you and the Student Council."

I gently shook my head and tuned out the glinting screen that was now facing my side. I could tell that Yukino was curious but didn't want to overstep any unknown boundaries (not that there would be any between us of course). Besides, I had been meaning to talk to her about this the entire evening.

"It's not private." I said reassuringly. "Iroha came to tell me that the Student Council has nominated me as the commencement speaker for graduation."

Yukino excitedly clapped her hands and gave me a hug.

"That's great, Hachi-kun!" She exclaimed, her eyes wide open. "Is it official yet or did she just come to let you know that you'd be getting the nomination soon?"

"It's… official for the most part." I replied. "I accepted, so now it's just a matter of Iroha submitting the paper work and getting back to me with further details. I imagine it'll probably take a week or so. If all goes well, I'll be speaking in front of everyone on the last day of school."

Yukino tilted her head to the side with an inquiring expression.

"What do you mean by 'if all goes well'?" She asked, curiosity in her voice.

 _Well, that could mean a number of things._ I pondered to myself. _There's always the off chance that the Student Council might've gotten the nominee mixed up or that the paperwork might not find its way through the system. That's all cheap nonsense, though…_

My eyes slowly made their way to the edge of the hallway, where my door sat open. Clearly visible on my desk were a series of neatly lined up pill bottles. Seizure medication, aspirin, migraine medication, a container of oral chemotherapy medication that had gone largely untouched over the past two weeks…

 _Yeah…_

Hesitant to answer her question, but compelled to out of necessity, I slowly stiffened as I considered what I was going to say.

"Well, you know..." I started, looking over at the flashing images on the TV screen in an attempt to pry my eyes off of the med containers sitting on my desk. "I'm not exactly in the best of health."

Immediately, Yukino straightened herself and fidgeted awkwardly with her hands. For a moment, she sat staring at the carpet, visibly shaken. As if she were snapping out of some sort of trance, she perked up with a cheery look on her face once more, almost as if she were ignoring what I just said.

"So, the student council didn't need you for anything else?" Yukino responded playfully, tapping me on the shoulder.

"Nah, that was all." I said, shaking my head. "No favors or requests. I'm just…"

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the slightest resemblance of a grimace on her face. Or maybe I was mistaken and she was fixated on the TV like I was a minute ago. A quick glance at the TV and back at Yukino told me otherwise. She seemed to be staring off into space, thinking long and hard about something… Now as to what that something was?

 _I wonder…_

As if to break Yukino out her little trance, I cleared my throat. I wasn't exactly sure how useful it would be, but it didn't hurt to give it a try.

"Hey, Yukino. What are you thinking about?" I asked gently, placing my elbow on the arm of the couch and leaning back.

For a few seconds, we both sat in silence, my eyes focused on Yukino and Yukino's gaze sitting… somewhere. Suddenly, Yukino breathed in harshly and looked at me like a deer in headlights.

"I'm sorry. What was that?" She asked, a hint of nervousness in her tone.

"I was asking what you were thinking about." I stated simply. "You seemed to be looking off into space."

Yukino immediately chuckled and waved me down with her hand.

"Oh, I'm just a little sleepy is all. I apologize, Hachi-kun. That was awfully rude of me." She said, speaking amiably. "I'll make some tea for both of us in just a bit."

Now I _knew_ something was off. The momentary changes in attitude, the look on her face, the way she deferred when I asked her what she was thinking about. I didn't want to be intrusive, but my earlier suspicions were confirmed. Yukino was never the type to hide her thoughts and emotions and the last time I could recall her doing so, it ended dramatically. I had a very good idea of what she was thinking about although her sudden changes in behavior were unsettling to say the least. I could tell that she was perturbed about the reality of my condition as time continued to pass at a constant rate and the amount of time I had left was growing shorter and shorter. It was taking as much of a toll on her as it was me.

 _But why hasn't she said anything about it? She seems to be skirting around the issue entirely and completely ignores it when it comes up in conversation now… She never used to do that…_

I still trusted that she'd tell me if it were bothering her to the point of becoming unbearable, but her actions were throwing me off. Not wanting to ruin the evening, I decided to take things slowly.

 _Well, on the topic of tea…_

"Did you bring your rose mix with you?" I asked slowly and curiously.

Yukino quickly nodded and reached over to the side of the couch pulling her bag out and briefing through it.

"Infact I did…" She replied, holding out the same bag she showed me earlier in the day. "Do you want me to make us some right now?"

Perhaps a change of mood would do us some good and she'd be willing to open up over a cup of tea. It never failed in the past and now was seeming like an appropriate time for a tea session.

"Sure, that would be nice actually." I said with a placid smile.

As Yukino walked over to the kitchen, I followed suit and sat in the dining room, watching as she poured water into the pot and turned on the heat. As the tea was preparing, we sat in a far less comfortable silence, waiting for the tea to finish and one of us to say something. We were both aware of the tense atmosphere that surrounded us, but neither of us spoke a word. I could vividly recall a similar quietness that we found ourselves in several months ago.

After a few minutes, Yukino walked over to the pot of now sufficiently warm water and placed in her mix, a fugue-like look on her face.

"Hey, Yukino…" I started slowly and with caution. "Is everything alright? You've been acting strange lately."

Yukino turned to me and nodded expressionlessly. Taking care not to spill any of the brewing tea, she turned the handle of the pot to the back of the stove and leaned on the other end of the kitchen counter.

"Everything's fine on my end." She said plainly. "Things have just been getting exhausting… Finishing classwork, waiting on entrance exam results… Graduation is also coming up and you…"

Yukino went silent for a second before walking back over to the stove. She quickly poured us both cups and walked to the table, setting the saucers down gently.

"I've just had a lot going on lately…" She continued. "I'm sorry if I've been out of it. It's no excuse, really."

 _I see…_

As expected, a myriad of issues and events were converging at once and Yukino was having difficulty handling it all. Even if I hadn't been afflicted with a Glioblastoma, her stress levels were already expected to shoot through the roof. That much I understood.

 _Still…_

There was something weird and off about this whole conversation. I had a fleeting suspicion that Yukino was still keeping something from me… Something huge. She'd already managed to open up this much, so I wasn't about to rudely pry, but a strong gut feeling told me that the mix of emotions that Yukino was feeling went a LOT deeper and further than she was ever going to admit. Another quick glance at her face revealed an expression of restraint.

After taking a swig of tea, I softly put my hand on top of Yukino's, brushing her cup to the side.

"You know, if there's anything bothering you, you can always talk to me." I said, in favor of simplicity and forthrightness.

Yukino nodded and smiled meekly.

"Thank you, Hachi-kun. I appreciate it." She said, her tone of voice becoming more relaxed. She took a sip of tea before sighing and looking me in the eyes tenderly.

Raising her tea cup and extending her pinky, she pointed to my cup, still emanating the pleasant aroma of her herbal blend. I picked up my cup, raising my pinky in return. We sat for a moment with our tea cups dangling gawkily from our ring and pinky fingers before Yukino brought her cup hand closer to mine and bumped it against my cup. Puzzled, I looked at my hand and then back at Yukino, who was now sipping her tea.

"Cheers?" I asked awkwardly before taking another small sip. Yukino giggled and put her cup down, wiping the tea from her lips with her free hand.

"Of course. For cheering me up." She said, bringing the pot over from the stove and refilling our cups.

The mood swiftly changed back to the one we shared earlier in the living room watching TV, with Yukino and I enjoying tea while laughing and talking about all sorts of inane things. As the night went on and we enjoyed each other's company, I couldn't help but obsess over Yukino's behavior. Something still felt askew and disconcerting. I could sense that there was something that Yukino still wasn't mentioning… I could feel chills run down my spine as I remembered the exact words she paused at during her brief concession.

 _Graduation is coming up and you… She stopped at mentioning me._

Obviously my condition and soon-approaching mortality were affecting her greatly, but there was a facet to that reality that she wasn't letting out. Something dark and macabre… Something that went beyond us, beyond me. I extended my hand multiple times and made it well known that I was willing to support her as she had supported me. I still had faith that she would reach out if she truly needed to. At least I hoped that she would…

But I also had a hunch that whatever Yukino had disclosed to have been going through- no, whatever I _imagined_ her to be going through- was just the tip of the iceberg.

 **A/N:**

 **I don't have much to say about my story this time around, but in the past couple weeks I noticed a rather unfortunate occurrence that took place within the Oregairu fanfiction community. One of our well-known authors, gnt000q, had his stories taken down. To the best of my knowledge (most of which comes from the r/oregairusnafu subreddit), the same person who kept harassing him via PM blackmailed him into deleting his stories when he (or she) got a hold of some sensitive personal information. Nobody should have to go through that and to the depraved sack of shit who did it, I would personally like you to know that what you did was a reprehensible act and a cowardly low blow. To gnt000q, your fics were pretty much my bread and butter before I wrote my own fanfiction. I remember days where I'd sit in my old school's library and indulge myself in the fluffy stories you came out with on a regular basis before leaving sporadic, cheeky reviews. You were one of the few authors who stuck with the community well after the original buzz died down (and finished multiple stories of your own) and you will be greatly missed. If you ever decide to come back, we the community will welcome you with open arms. If not, we understand and wish you all the best.**


	26. Chapter 25: Dark Chocolate

Ch. 25: Dark Chocolate

"…and that just about does it for the day." Yukino said, closing her computer and putting it away in her bag.

 _Huh? Already?_ I thought to myself groggily as I yawned and stretched my arms above my head.

Squinting, I looked at the clock and noticed that the hour hand was pointing directly at the five. That could only mean one thing: club was finished for the day. As I got out of my seat, the last remnants of afternoon sunlight blinded me, the intense orange rays searing through my retinas like lasers. Clumsily, I reached towards my bag and pulled out a can of Maxx Coffee and a plastic baggie that held a capsule of my migraine medication. As I pulled the tab off the can, I saw Yuigahama clearing the table of leftover heart cards.

"Today was really slow." Yuigahama pointed out with a relaxed yawn. "There were no requests and not even a single person stopped by…"

Yukino moved over to the window and started closing the blinds, noticing that I had just woken up.

"I know. I'm actually quite surprised, given today was Valentine's Day." She said, patting me on the head and chuckling to herself. "Isn't that right, Sleepy-gaya-kun?"

I managed a low grunt while taking the pill out of the bag and placing it in my mouth, washing it down with some of Japan's finest iced coffee.

The past few days, I'd noticed an increase in the frequency and intensity of my migraines and I could feel my energy levels beginning to taper off. Even though I was still active and fit, daytime naps became more commonplace and caffeine was starting to lose its edge. All in all, I could tell that I was beginning to fall apart physically, even if the signs were mild and subtle. My days of living a normal, comfortable life were more than likely to come to a swift end within the next couple weeks. Regardless, I promised to fight until the end and I had no intentions of backing down on that promise. Although I was a bit unnerved by my current predicament, I had one last thing that I was looking forward to, and that was my commencement speech.

To my right, I saw Yuigahama holding two heart-shaped cutouts, a rather confused expression on her face.

"Do you want me to save the little cards or just throw them out?" Yuigahama asked curiously, looking at the neat stack she made on the table.

Yukino looked over from the other side of the room, eyeing the cards for a split second before going back to what she was doing.

"It's your call." She replied nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders as she carefully pulled the cord on the side of the window.

Yuighama nodded in response, opting to keep the cards and moving them to an empty spot on a nearby shelf.

"Alright, that just about does it." She said, dusting her hands off and grabbing her bag off of the floor. "Do you need help cleaning the rest of the room, Yukinon?"

Yukino looked at Yuigahama and shook her head.

"We already cleaned up for the most part. All I have to do now is put away the tea set." Yukino said, walking back towards the table.

"Alright, well I'll be on my way then. See you tomorrow, Yukinon, Hikki!" Yuigahama exclaimed before waving and slinging her bag over her shoulder.

Yukino and I waved in return, watching as Yuigahama left, gently closing the clubroom door behind her. Yukino stood by the sink, rinsing her china set and drying it with a cloth. As she began stacking saucers on the counter, she turned to me.

"Everything going well, Hachi-kun?" She prosed casually. "You practically slept through all of club period today."

 _That I did. Maybe it was because I didn't have any coffee after I got to school…_ I thought to myself dryly in an attempt to make light of my impromptu siesta.

"Yeah, I was a little tired. Sorry about that." I said, rubbing my eyes fuzzily.

"Don't worry. It wasn't an issue at all since nobody came in today." Yukino replied, carefully placing each of her tea cups into their appropriate boxholders. "Yuigahama-san and I sat around talking about Valentine's Day chocolate for the most part."

After Yukino closed the wooden box and placed it back on the shelf, she walked over and picked up her bookbag, placing it on the table. For a moment, she rummaged through her belongings, mumbling to herself as she did.

"Speaking of… Ahh, here we go!" She shouted excitedly, pulling out a small plastic bag that was tied closed with a pink ribbon.

Tired, disoriented and trying to figure out what was in the bag, I peered curiously.

 _Is that…_

"I was planning on giving this to you during club, but you were napping the whole time." Yukino said, a warm smile forming on her face. "I hope you enjoy it."

Opening the bag, I realized that Yukino had indeed given me chocolate. It was Valentine's Day, after all.

"Thanks. I appreciate it." I responded, taking the piece out of the wrapper.

The chocolate piece was shaped perfectly like a heart, with a curled tip at the bottom and a bow-shaped candy piece sitting on the front. White chocolate outlined the contours of the whole piece, creating a glowing frame for the whole piece. Beneath the bow were the words "I love you, Hachiman" etched neatly in kanji. Impressed and flattered, I held it up to the light.

"Wow, did you make this whole thing by yourself?" I asked, taken aback by the effort that must've gone into making it.

"Yes, I did." Yukino replied enthusiastically. "Well, except for the little bow on top. I got that from a candy store. All in all, it took me about two hours to put together."

For a moment, I stared at the little heart as it sat on top of its wrapper, the pink ribbon laying off to the side. I was fascinated with how neatly it was arranged and how cleanly the words were inscribed into the chocolate. Yukino giggled as she motioned to her mouth.

"So, are you going to try it, Hachi-kun?" She asked, stifling another laugh.

"I don't know." I said, a small chuckle finding its way out of my throat. "It'd almost be a shame to eat it, really."

I took a small piece off the bottom and nibbled away, wrapping the rest up in the plastic bag and tying the ribbon around the top.

 _Bitter… But rich._ I thought to myself, raising my brow and pursing my lips as I savored the taste of Yukino's homemade chocolate on my tongue.

"It's dark chocolate, 100% cacao to be exact." Yukino said, noting the puzzled expression on my face.

"Interesting… The taste of chocolate is so strong that it almost doesn't seem like chocolate." I replied, surprised that a thing like 100% cacao dark chocolate even existed. Yukino chuckled in response.

With that, I put the rest of the chocolate away and slung my bag over shoulder, ready to leave club for the day as Yukino dusted her hands and opened the door to the clubroom. As we exited the clubroom, Yukino pulled out her key, the lanyard still tangled in her pocket.

"Hey, Hachi-kun…" She mumbled, turning the key to lock the clubroom door. "You said you didn't have anything planned today after club, right?"

Correct, I arranged to free my schedule for the evening. Although… Yukino never told me what she was planning on doing for Valentine's Day. Maybe that should've been on me since I was supposed to be assertive as her boyfriend.

 _Nah… That ain't what I do and she knows it._ I thought to myself humorously.

"Nope." I responded simply.

"Good, good. Our chauffeur is going to be here in just a few minutes. My father told me he had a surprise for us on Valentine's Day." Yukino said, a glint in her eye.

"A surprise?" I asked, shielding my eyes from the sunlight as we passed by windows in the hallway. Yukino nodded enthusiastically.

 _This should be interesting to say the least…_

* * *

A gust of wind hit my face as Yukino and I stepped out of the limousine. Looking around, I noticed a series of parked luxury cars and red satin ropes that lined the sidewalk. Following the rope with my eyes, I eventually came across the tall building that stood in front of us. It appeared to be a highrise of some sorts, and a nice one at that. Captivated by the environment, I stood in awe for a second, taking in the place. A tall man wearing a dress shirt and a red bowtie came out and greeted Yukino and I, bowing slightly as he approached us.

"Ahh, Yukinoshita-san… It's a pleasure to see you." He started, pulling out a notepad and pen. "Is this the plus-one your father mentioned?"

"Yes, we're here to claim our evening reservation spots." Yukino replied simply. The butler-looking man turned to me and held out his hand.

"And you are… Hikigaya-san?" He said, scratching his head with slight embarrassment. Yukino chuckled a little and looked to me.

"Yes, that's me." I replied amiably with a quick nod. The man sighed breath of relief and scribbled something in his notepad.

"Phew, thank the heavens. Forgive me, Hikigaya-san, I'm terrible with names." He said, placing the notebook on an outward pocket that was clipped to his shirt. "Anyhow, come with me. I'll show you to your seats."

Yukino and I followed him inside and walked into the building lobby. The place felt very warm and alluring, with fancy silk drapes hanging by the sides of the windows and a mini koi pond in front of the receptionist's desk. As we made our way through the room, I noted the intricate wave-like designs in the wallpaper. The place was incredibly nice and well-put-together to the point of suiting a king. Taking note of the little pocketbook that the presumed butler had, I looked up and thought to myself.

 _I wonder… Was that a guest list? It seems to me that we were invited to a Valentine's Day banquet of some sort, but we're not exactly dressed for the occasion._

I looked down at my shoes and back up at Yukino's blazer. We definitely weren't dressed for any sort of special banquet or ball and there was no way that we'd be at such a nice place in our school uniforms if there was one, so that possibility was out of the question. As we approached an elevator, I turned to Yukino.

"Hey, Yukino. We aren't here for any sort of event are we?" I asked enquiringly. Yukino shook her head.

"Oh, dear no." She said, a hint of revulsion in her voice. "We wouldn't be allowed to act and dress so casually if that were the case. This will be more… relaxed. As my father intended it to be."

As we stepped in the elevator, the butler reached over to the floor buttons and pressed a button that read-

"Penthouse?" I asked, tilting my head to the side. The butler turned to me and nodded.

"Yes. The penthouse of this establishment usually serves as a lounge for business executives, but Yukinoshita-san reserved it solely in his name for four hours tonight. The suite diner, which normally only serves VIP members, will be serving you, free of charge of course." He said as we began our ascent. "All the usual amenities will be available, although you'll have to pay out of pocket for anything extra."

After a few moments, the elevator reached its stopping point and the doors opened. I did a double take as I walked into the room. All around us, the room was surrounded by windows, which panoramically flaunted the evening sunset and Chiba's stunning skyline. The furniture in the room was modern and sleek, with prism-shaped couches surrounding the shiny glass tables. To our left was a mini-bar and to our right was a set of doors that led outside to a balcony. At the edge of the balcony I could see a row of bonzai trees that lined a narrow path towards what appeared to be a helipad. The lighting was comfortably low, which made things easy on my migraines and I could hear jazz music playing softly in the background.

The butler led us to one of the tables where we took our seat. At the table were two menus that were so thick that they practically looked like catalogs. Pulling out his notepad again, he turned to me.

"What would you like to drink?" He asked, his pen at the ready.

Looking at the back of the menu, I read down the list of beverages until I found something that seemed enticing.

"I'll have the minted iced tea." I said simply. The butler scribbled on his notepad and turned to Yukino.

"And you?" He asked.

"I'll have a light marmalade." She replied, fingering through the other pages of the menu. With that, the butler closed the notebook again and walked into a hallway behind the minibar.

Looking out the window and noting the majestic sunset again, I turned to Yukino.

"This place is something else." I remarked, admiring the skyline. "How'd your father know about it?"

Yukino put her menu down for a second, taking a moment to gaze out at the view like I was.

"He and his business partners like to conduct meetings up here." She stated wistfully. "It's private and secluded as well as close to everything else in town, so it serves as sort of an ideal place to have formal gatherings. I've only been up here once before and that was years ago, so I'm as taken aback as you are that we're here."

Yukino sighed to herself. On one hand, she seemed to enjoy the relaxation of being able to conduct herself informally, but on the other hand, she had a pensive air around her. Certainly she was happy to be here, but she was lacking her newfound flair. Who knows? She was probably as exhausted as I was from school and needed a break.

"It's quite the sight, isn't it?" She jested, staring out the window.

"Yeah, it sure is…" I said, nodding in agreement. "It's sure as hell a prime location for a dinner for two as well. Nice view, nice food, nice music, nice environment, and it's just the two of us…"

Yukino giggled a little, lightly hitting me on shoulder.

"You're funny when you try being smooth, Hachi-kun." She exclaimed, picking her menu back up and trifling through the pages.

"Oh, c'mon. I was just stating the facts. I wasn't even trying to be 'smooth' or what have you." I protested playfully, making little quotation marks with my fingers.

Following Yukino's lead, I opened up my menu and looked through the colossal list of items. I was astounded by the sheer variety of entrées that this place had to offer. They had everything from poultry dishes to pastas to curries to calamari to-

 _Pufferfish?_ I thought to myself, raising a brow at a couple odd menu items that caught my eye.

"Sorry, Hachi-kun, they don't serve ramen here." Yukino said, friskily poking my shoulder.

Still taken aback by some of the menu items that I saw listed, I took my menu and showed it to Yukino, pointing at the entrée that I just examined.

"You see this?" I started. "They serve pufferfish here…"

Yukino simply nodded in acknowledgement.

"That they do." She said affirmatively. "This is one of the few restaurants in Chiba you can find freshly served pufferfish. My father tried it before, but I don't remember what he had to say about it…"

Overwhelmed with my options, I decided to stick with something that I could identify and run with and turned to Yukino.

"So, what are you going to get?" I asked, leaning to the side and placing my arm over the side of the cushioned seat.

Yukino pondered for a second, putting her index finger to her chin.

"Hmm… I think I'll have their shrimp fettucine alfredo dish. Simple, but particularly enticing at the moment…" Yukino declared, setting her menu facedown. "What did you decide on?"

"I'm having their filet mignon with garlic potatoes." I replied.

"Ahh, steak and potatoes… My mother always orders that when we go out, with garlic potatoes too." Yukino said, letting out a sardonic laugh at the specificity of my potato preference.

Just then, the butler came back with a shiny silver tray. Setting it down on the table next to ours, he placed our drinks in front of us and put a small platter of crawfish and sriracha sauce in the middle of the table. Pulling out his notebook again, he took our orders before giving us straws and heading back into the hallway, the silver tray tucked underneath his arm.

For a minute or so, Yukino and I sat in silence, staring out the window and admiring the scenery as the last bit of the sun dipped beneath the horizon. The sunset, the location, the smooth, jazzy music, the atmosphere… I couldn't be any gladder that Hiro Yukinoshita had chosen this place for us on this evening. It was a blessing, especially during such an upending time for both Yukino and I. Even if rough times and certain mortality loomed ahead, it almost seemed as if all was right. Just for this moment… All seemed right and all felt right.

Slowly, I could feel my gaze shifting towards Yukino, who was still looking out into the night sky, a peaceful, meditative look on her face. She seemed to be thinking about something, although I had no idea what that something was. The nervousness that she showed the other night at my house was nowhere to be found, however, and it appeared that she had found her own personal zen. As I watched the faint light reflect gently off her eyes, a single thought flittingly slipped into my head.

 _She looks beautiful._

Softly, I leaned in towards Yukino until I was a hair's width away and tenderly kissed her on the cheek. Blushing, Yukino turned to me, moving her hair to the side. Smiling, she put a finger to my lip and shook her head.

"You're a sneaky one, Hachi-kun…" She whispered serenely. "Let me show you how it's done."

Gradually scooting closer and closer to me, she wrapped her arm around me and caressed the back of my neck. Closing her eyes, she inched her way towards me until our lips met, slowly making contact. I followed suit, placing my arm around the small of her back. Our lips remained locked as we embraced each other. I lost myself in the softness of her supple form until we pulled our heads back and stared each other in the eyes, both of us star-struck. Sharing this little moment with Yukino, I couldn't tell if a Planck or an eon had gone by, although in actuality about twenty seconds had passed.

 _I never want this to end…_ I thought to myself, still caught in Yukino's soft gaze.

Relishing the splendor of the moment, I let Yukino rest her head on my shoulder. Although this sort of moment was only typical for people our age, we were both atypical, which made it all the more satisfying. In many ways, we understood each other better than most people could. Without even having to utter a word, we'd come to revel in intimacy.

As we sat enjoying the music and the view of the skyline, I looked at Yukino's eyes once more, noticing that her gaze rested somewhere out in the city. I wanted to know what was on her mind, even if it was boring and mundane. If she was having unpleasant thoughts, I hoped that she'd at least take solace in the fact that I was right next to her to make her feel better. I could talk with her for hours like this, even if we were discussing something as plain as the weather forecast. In any case, I didn't want to ruin the little moment that we were sharing, so I stayed silent and enjoyed myself, sipping on my tea and staring out into the sky without a care in the world.

After a few minutes had passed, the squeaky sound of a meal cart could be heard coming from the back hallway as the butler came out with two covered platters. As he approached our table, he pushed the wheel stops down with his foot and uncovered the plates, which were visibly hot still.

 _Quick service._ I thought simply as he placed our food in front of us.

He produced a large candle and a lighter from his apron. After placing the candle in the middle of the table, he lit it and stowed the lighter back in his apron next to his pen and notepad.

"Alrighty, then. Enjoy your meal! I'll be right down the hall if you need anything." He said, bowing before walking back down the hallway.

"Wow, that was lightning fast." I pointed out, unravelling my utensils from the handkerchief. Yukino nodded in agreement, tying her handkerchief in a neat knot behind the back of her neck.

"Aye, that it was." She replied.

At that, we both dug in, savoring the simplicity and deliciousness of our meals. Although I'd had steak before, I'd never had the opportunity to try filet mignon, so as a new experience, it was pretty interesting. Even though it was cooked well-done, it cut easily and had a soft texture. Flavorless on its own, it seemed to absorb the flavor of the steak sauce fairly well and had an enjoyable feeling to it as I took each bite.

As we ate, I noticed that Yukino retained the same placid expression that she had earlier. However, something in her eyes looked a bit distant, almost like a thousand yard stare. It was identical to the look she had on her face when we talked at my house a few evenings ago. Something was clearly troubling her, and I had more than an idea of what that was. Still, this evening was probably one of the most lovely times I'd ever gotten to enjoy and I didn't want to ruin it by pressing any sensitive matters.

Clearing my throat, I turned to Yukino, thinking of something I could use to get her to loosen up a little like she was earlier.

"Hey, Yukino." I started, putting my finger to my chin as I pondered whether what I was about to ask was appropriate. "What are you planning on doing after high school?"

As if startled, Yukino inhaled sharply and looked at me with a blank expression on her face. Slowly, she tilted her head to the side and straightened her handkerchief a little. Looking down, she sighed.

"I've… I've decided that I'm going to pursue medicine. Oncological medicine to be exact." She replied gradually. "I'm fairly certain that I scored nearly perfectly on the science and math portions of all of my entrance exams, so I don't think that I'll have too much trouble in that regard. Plus, it just feels right to me…"

I nodded with a gentle smile. I didn't exactly know how to react, but knowing that Yukino had her mind set on what she wanted to do was enough for me. Surely I had my own role in of this, but that's not what I was thinking about.

"Being with you made me realize that I want to help people, you know. I want to serve in a way that makes a difference… a way that makes people smile like you made me smile." Yukino continued, still looking down at the table. Her voice seemed eerily calm and unemotional despite her body language and facial cues.

 _Made you smile…_ I thought to myself, curiously noting her past-tense usage.

"I might end up going overseas for secondary schooling since I have study abroad experience in America and a lot of their medical schools have programs tailored to what I'm trying to do. It'll be an interesting set of affairs, I'm sure, but it'll be worth it in the end." Yukino went on, finally looking up.

Her demeanor was stiff, but elegant and well-maintained. I couldn't tell if she was comfortable or not, but one thing I did know was that her bashful, relaxed air was absolutely nowhere to be found. Instead, she seemed cold and empty, laying out plain facts as if she were working at an information booth.

"It's strange, but I never could've seen myself doing this a year ago. I would've been appalled at going into the sciences since it was almost shoved down my throat as a set of career options that were handpicked for me already. It almost felt like I had no agency or free-will. No say in the matter whatsoever. But now, I couldn't really imagine doing anything else. Strange how things change…" Yukino continued, not even talking to anyone in particular anymore as her last words came out as a mumble.

The next few moments were spent sitting in awkward silence as I surveyed the situation and thought about what Yukino had just told me. It was clear that she had plans of her own at this point and it was comforting to know that she probably had her entire family's support on it. I, for one, supported her as well since she came to that decision on her own and seemed determined to see it through. Yukino's die-hard spirit was something that she would always carry with her and regardless of its origin, it was a part of her that I admired. Still, I could tell that her mind was fairly burdened and that she needed a break. That much was obvious for quite some time and I definitely understood.

Even so, there seemed to be something that she was still hiding. I had no doubt that she was being completely honest and open about everything that she said. There was no reason to believe otherwise. On a different note, she lacked emotional sincerity, or rather she seemed to lack emotion entirely. There was a reason why her sudden changes in behavior stood out despite being subtle in nature. She wasn't putting on a façade or putting on any sort of deceptive act. No, that wasn't in her nature and never would be. Rather, she was regressing back to a previous state of mind. The more I watched her recently, the more I could tell that parts of her were shutting down, and that was what worried me the most.

Concerned, but cautious of the circumstances, I faced Yukino and looked her in the eyes, searching for something that told me that she was all there.

"Hey, Yukino. Are you okay?" I asked slowly, putting everything down and focusing on her entirely. Yukino frowned for a second before giving me an affirmative nod.

"Of course I am, Hachi-kun. What makes you think otherwise?" She responded inquisitively in a tone devoid of emotion, her gaze amicable yet fixed.

"Well…" I started, carefully thinking about what I was to say next. I didn't know exactly what happened or what caused this, but somewhere along the line, Yukino clearly flipped a switch in her mind.

"It's just that you've been acting kind of strange lately…" I started. "You've been spacing out a lot and you get this worrisome look on your face when you do. I just want you to be happy, that's all."

Yukino nodded and closed her eyes momentarily. When she opened her eyes again I could feel her looking through me instead of at me. It was a rather chilling expression that I wasn't even sure she was fully aware of.

"Everything is fine, I _assure_ you. There's no need to worry about me at all." Yukino retorted forcefully.

Taken off-guard, yet aware of the situation, I reluctantly decided to lay off. Although I worried about Yukino, I knew that this wasn't an appropriate time or place to open this up for discussion.

 _I trust you, but please don't keep what's bothering you from me forever…_ I thought, deciding to remain silent.

"…nevermind. I'm sure it's been a long week for both of us. My apologies if I'm being a little overbearing." I replied half-sincerely. Yukino let out a small chuckle before taking in a deep breath and leaning back against our seat.

"That it has…" She said, pretending to wipe her brow. "No need to apologize, Hachi-kun. I know you mean well. For what it's worth, I'm glad we got to end tonight like this, though."

Smiling, I nodded in agreement. That was something we both agreed on. As if the switch had flipped again, Yukino eased herself and looked out the window once more, admiring the illuminated city skyline. Once again we found ourselves engaging in light-hearted banter and overall having a blast. Although it was somewhat disturbing, I decided to roll with it since it meant that Yukino was alright for the time being. There were obviously repressed emotions and half-truths thrown into the mix and we were both ignoring the elephant in the room, but tonight was still a good night.

After dinner was finished, we were escorted back down to the lobby by the butler, who showed us out and wished us both a good evening. The car ride back to my house was fairly silent, mostly due to the fact that Yukino and I were both thoroughly exhausted from the day's activities. I didn't press her any further on my concerns, but I knew that I'd eventually have to have a sit down with her.

* * *

 _And by eventually, that means very soon. Ahh, today was an interesting day…_ I thought to myself as the chauffeur stopped the car, pulling to the curbside of my house.

As I grabbed my bag and stepped out of the car, Yukino tapped me on the shoulder.

"Hey, Hachi-kun…" She started softly. "I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't snapped at you like that."

"It's fine." I said, smiling in return and running my hand through her hair. "Don't worry about it."

As I moved to close the door behind me and walk towards my house, I noticed Yukino turning away. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw what appeared to be a single tear running down her cheek. Pausing for a second, I wondered whether or not I should open the door and ask her if everything really was alright. The chauffeur made the decision for me, slowly pulling away from the curb as he opened his window and wished me a good night. Moments later, they were gone and I was left walking up to my front doorstep, keys jingling as I reached for them in my pocket.

After getting in, I walked straight up to my room, tiptoeing so I wouldn't wake Komachi or my parents. Although my body was in autopilot, my mind was racing. I hadn't felt such a vast mix of emotions in quite some time. From Yukino giving me her homemade pure cacao heart to the surprise dinner to the little moment that we spent before our food came, I felt a high that I hadn't known before. On the other hand, seeing Yukino shut down in such a callous manner was painful to witness. Most frustratingly, there wasn't anything I could really do for her. This was her war, not mine. My war was being fought on all fronts and I was already fighting to the last man.

 _Still…_ I pondered to myself, taking my medication out of each respective bottle one at a time, counting the pills to make sure I had the right amounts.

Now that I thought about it, the signs were there the whole time. Yukino seemed out of whack the whole day although it all fell apart shortly after we shared our little moment. I could tell that she wanted it to happen and I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel the same. It was almost like she had it visualized in her head before it happened, not that I minded.

 _I wonder… Was it because she wanted something to distract her from her inner turmoil or was it because the time was right?_

Both were influencing factors, although I couldn't really blame her for wanting to escape from her own mind. I had an idea of what she was going through, but only she knew her thoughts and motivations. As much as I'd always considered myself skilled at reading other people, I was human and I, too had limits. The monster of logic had its own flaws and shortcomings and the much larger behemoths of mortality and uncertainty that lay before it made it look like an ant in comparison.

After I finished brushing my teeth, I flipped the light off and walked into my room. As I closed the door behind me, I heard a faint, high-pitched tone coming from nowhere in particular. Ignoring it, I walked over to my dresser, searching for my pajamas. As I found them and tossed them onto my bed, the tone grew louder and louder. Dazed, I put a hand to my ear and covered it, noting that it did nothing to alleviate the perceived sound. I could feel blood rushing to my head even though I was standing straight up. My vision became grainy and my conscience began to feel cloudy. Careful not to panic, I took a seat on my bed, dizzy and disoriented.

 _This is not good… This is not good at all…_ I thought, mulling over my current situation.

Even if Yukino and I were fighting our own wars, we were still close allies. Even if it was largely for the sake of my own peace and closure, we had to come clean to one another. I didn't want to die knowing that she was still feeling conflicted over me and I didn't want her to have to carry such a burden knowing that we'd never have a chance to reconcile.

After a minute or so, the sound subsided and everything returned to normal. I slipped into my pajamas and got into bed, pulling my blanket over my body. A chill ran through my spine as I thought about how helpless I was against the illness that was beginning to spread fatally in my skull. Grabbing my phone from my nightstand, I thumbed through my contacts until I saw Yukino's name pop up. Taking a deep breath, I put the phone to my ear and hit dial.

 **A/N:**

 **In response to ThienMaD and the others who've requested that Hachiman's illness be cured, I apologize but I can't follow through on that. The premise of the story from the very beginning had to do with the personal journey that Hachiman goes on while tragically accepting his own mortality. If I were to magically cure him of his ailment, it would go against everything that I'd written so far. I have entertained this idea as sort of an AU concept and will more than likely publish an after-story epilogue chapter as a standalone story going along those lines after I finish this story. Depending on how things go, I might turn it into a full-blown AU fic of its own, but that's pure conjecture at this point. I'm not making any promises. I do appreciate your support and feedback however and hope you understand my reasoning.**

 **Concerning my mentions of gnt000q's stories in last chapter's author's notes, I set up an alternate account by the name of "gnt000q reuploads" where I was originally planning on uploading archives of gnt000q's fics, but gnt000q himself PM'd me personally and requested that I take them down. As such, I was honor-bound to remove them from this site. Much thanks to The Quotable Patella for having all the stories backed up and reaching out to me. Your efforts were a godsend and all of gnt000q's old fans (myself included) appreciate what you've done greatly.**

 **For those of us who loved gnt000q's fanfictions and care about him as a person, the appropriate course of action is simple: share his stories discreetly and privately with other fans, but condemn their re-uploading on this website and call on those who do to remove them. If you're curious as to gnt000q's official statement on this matter, check his writer profile and you'll see that he was quite clear in stating his wishes.**

 **In any case, it's nice to be back and I look forward to posting more in the near future. Bronze V Lee Sin out! Hikuu!**


	27. Chapter 26: An Intimate Reconciliation

Ch. 26: An Intimate Reconciliation

As I slowly rose from my slumber, I could feel the sun crushing my eyes and pressing them into the backs of their sockets. Walking over to my dresser, I immediately popped the lid off of my medication containers and sorted out the appropriate dosages. Reaching over to the bottle of water next to them, I put them in my mouth. After a few swigs, they went down, scratching the back of my throat as they grazed my esophagus.

 _Damnit…_ I thought to myself, rubbing the side of my temple.

It would be a while before the medication took effect and I was going to have to deal with my current headsplitting migraine for another thirty minutes or so. I considered taking some of the stronger medication that I'd been given for "palliative" use, but I decided against it. Part of me knew that once I started taking those, my mind would go to waste and I'd be trapped in an opiate-induced stupor. I still had a few things I had to take care of in this life and I needed my mind to be sharp, even if that meant enduring a few bad headaches. Things were bound to get worse from this point on, and there was no doubt that the more potent pain medication would become necessary, but for now, I was going to bite the bullet.

Hastily, I changed into a t-shirt and jeans and threw on my jacket. Checking my phone, I looked at the time to make sure I wasn't behind schedule. I breathed a sigh of relief as I read the digital numbers on the screen, noting that I still had an hour until I told Yukino I'd be arriving at her apartment. After scarfing down some leftovers from a couple days before and brushing my teeth, I was on my bike and ready to go.

As I pedaled on towards Yukino's through the windy morning, I felt a wave of apprehension wash over me. Last night, when we spoke on the phone, we talked mildly about dinner and agreed upon this morning's meetup, but there was a lot that was left to be said. Both of us knew that and both us knew that we weren't just going to be hanging out for a leisurely day of tea, snacks and boxed entertainment. Even so, I knew that our current predicament was going to make this a tough nut to crack, and I was going to have to be prepared for the consequences.

After a good 45 minutes or so, I found myself at the foot of Yukino's apartment complex. Ringing the buzzer, I chained my bike to the rack.

"Oh, Hachi-kun. Is that you?" A rather groggy-sounding Yukino asked through the intercom.

"Yeah." I said simply, wiping my shoes on the mat in front of me.

Without another word from Yukino, the front door buzzed and I walked up to Yukino's apartment door. After walking in, I took off my shoes and gently placed them aside. As I hung my jacket on the coat hanger, Yukino walked into the kitchen, turning on the light as she did. I could smell the aroma of cinnamon and rose drifting subtly through the air. Yukino walked out of the kitchen with her tea set sitting on top of a wooden platter. Setting the platter down on the coffee table, she sat down on the couch and motioned me to do the same.

"I think it's great that we get to spend the whole weekend together, especially after Valentine's Day." Yukino said, pouring me a cup of tea. Setting my cup in front of me, she began pouring herself a cup, waving the steam away as it wafted into her face.

"Yeah, definitely." I responded simply, taking a small sip.

"I apologize in advance if we end up getting a little bored every now and then. I didn't have a whole lot planned, although we could always go out and get a bite to eat if you wish." Yukino continued, folding her legs and leaning back into the arm of the couch. "Anyhow, I appreciate you being here. It's relaxing to spend time with you."

I nodded slowly, noting Yukino's unusually patronizing tone of voice. She wasn't lying about anything, but her guard was definitely up, which was disconcerting to see.

 _Actually, she is lying…_ I thought to myself, noting Yukino's comment on being relaxed. I knew for a fact that she was anything but relaxed. Her unconscious behavior betrayed her deliberate front evidently as her hands shook nervously.

Bringing up the elephant in the room was going to be problematic, but it had to be done. I couldn't stand to see this rift forming between us and there's no way I was going to let it fester any longer. We'd both failed to communicate ourselves properly and it was about time we put an end to that practice. There was no roundabout way of doing it and it's not like she was going to do it herself. I was going to have to be direct and transparent.

I wiped my mouth and put my tea cup down on the coffee table. Sitting up straight, I turned towards Yukino and looked her straight in the eyes, searching for some sign that the next words to come out of her mouth would be sincere. Glancing downward, I noticed little ripples in her tea as her hands began to quiver. She definitely knew what was coming.

"Hey, Yukino." I beckoned softly, trying to get Yukino's attention. "We need to talk."

Yukino kept looking at me, a plain look on her face. As if to try and break the tension, she brought her cup to her lips, a single drop spilling out as her hands continued to shake.

"I'm going to ask you a question…" I started, pausing momentarily to consider how I was going to pose it. "And I want you to be fully honest with me when I ask, alright?"

Yukino nodded, her face becoming expressionless once more. Putting her tea cup down on the table, she took a deep breath as I cleared my throat.

"Are you alright?" I asked, a note of subtle concern in my voice.

It felt like I'd asked her this question a million times before. A million times she'd also given me the same half-truth of an answer, as well. Hopefully question number one million and one would yield a different result.

"Yes, everything is fine." Yukino replied sternly. As she continued, her tone of voice became more desperate, almost to the point of sounding angry. "I don't know why you insist on asking me that question. I believe I've explained myself thoroughly enough."

 _Why do YOU insist on being so stubborn?_ I thought to myself, frustrated with Yukino's response.

It was clear that she was blatantly lying at this point. Despite all she did to drown out her concerns, she was still losing her composure. I could see her cold, calculated demeanor melting as it gave way to a fiery obstinacy. She was fighting a battle within herself to keep her deepest fears hidden away out of mind and from the looks of it, she was beginning to lose that battle. I nodded calmly.

"Are you sure?" I asked simply, curious as to how long Yukino planned on keeping up her front.

Yukino looked away, her eyes darting between our tea cups. Hastily, she put them both on the tray and got up from the couch, dusting herself off as she did so.

"I think we're running out of tea." She stated nervously. "I'll go make some mo-"

"You just made a new pot a few minutes ago. It's still steaming from the top, see?" I pointed out while gently brushing her shoulder, cutting her off mid-sentence. With my other hand, I pointed towards the wispy white vapor that still emanated from the top of the teapot.

Stunned and truthfully cornered, Yukino grimaced and sat back down. I didn't want this to be an agonizing process for her, but posing questions seemed to be ineffective. I was going to have to take the initiative and lead the way by opening up myself. Of course, I'd have no backup or alternative plan afterwards, but it was my only hope at remedying our communication breakdown. I didn't feel comfortable leaving the ball in her court, but if I was to have a chance at fixing this, I had to put my trust in her. Sighing, I looked Yukino in the eyes once more and shook my head sorrowfully.

"Look, I'm going to be straightforward here." I said, continuing to look Yukino straight in the eyes. "You've been hiding something from me for a while now. It's been easy to see and I've known for much longer than you think. I've also been playing things close to the chest, to be honest… We've both been keeping something from one another and it just doesn't feel right. Lately, I've felt like I hardly even know you anymore, and that scares the shit out of me."

Yukino bristled at my last statement, a sad, defeated look forming on her face. I could tell that it hurt to hear that coming from me, but I had to lay everything out clearly if I was to get a proper response from her. She needed to know exactly what this was doing to me, as I imagined it was doing the same to her. Breaking eye contact again, Yukino looked at the carpet and cleared her throat.

"I'm sorry, Hachi-kun. I didn't want to seem alarming to you, as I know you have much more to deal with than I do at the moment." Yukino said, pausing momentarily to bite her lip. "Everything really _has_ gotten busy and exhausting for me lately, and I didn't think it would be right for me to force that burden on you, especially with what you're going through. I didn't want to seem like I was venting to you. It just wouldn't be right."

A look of even greater discomfort formed on Yukino's face as she looked away from me. There was something on the tip of her tongue, something that she needed to say, but just couldn't for some reason or another. I could tell that it was driving her insane, but for some reason, she was choosing to keep it bottled up. Her tone was becoming more and more vain and it almost seemed like she was pleading with herself to withhold whatever she was about to come out with. As she continued, her words became more jumbled and her composure began to give way to the raw emotional conflict that she was experiencing.

"I- you know, I just think that… it would be great if- I think that it would be best if we talked about something else. All this talk of keeping secrets from each other is making me feel ill." Yukino finally mustered, her voice beginning to crack.

I shook my head, closing my eyes briefly as I felt a pang of guilt.

 _What do I say to get to the truth?_

"You know I can't do that." I started. "I know you have something you want to say. It's clear as day, but you're keeping it all bottled up inside. I don't know why you're doing this to yourself, but it hurts me to see it. I know it's painful, but if you open up, you have my support. We keep beating around the bush and it's not helping anything. I know that you know that I know that you know- it goes around and around. There's this mutual acknowledgment of my- OUR predicament, but neither of us have said anything about it."

Yukino stared straight ahead at the wall, her face completely drained of color. From the looks of it, I just hit the nail on the head. I could feel my heart beating rapidly as the tension began to get to me as well.

 _Oh, well. We didn't come this far for nothing._ I thought to myself.

"Time doesn't go on forever and I can't let it end like this. I'm sorry if I'm making you feel horrible, but we can't continue to do this. It's killing me and I know it's killing you to-"

I was interrupted by a loud thump as Yukino slammed her hands on the table. Although she was looking the other way, I could see her pain as she squinted and little droplets formed in the corners of her eyes. She whimpered as she turned to me, her eyes red and her features trembling.

"God damnit!" She shouted, gritting her teeth and caressing her freshly bruised hand. I felt a lump in my throat as our eyes locked, unable to break free of each others' gaze despite the tension that we were enveloped in.

"God damnit, Hachi-kun…" She said, whispering this time in a voice that was barely audible to me even though I was merely a couple of feet away. Yukino looked away, biting her thumb and taking a deep breath as if to regain her composure.

"You know… I knew we'd come to a moment like this sooner or later…" Yukino said under her breath, stiffening her posture until she started moving back and forth like a rocking chair. "You're too kind and caring for your own good, Hachi-kun. You really are…

"I thought I'd managed to hold myself together pretty well, but like always, you came along and proved me wrong. I- I thought I could manage. But you just _had_ to bring it up… The fact that time is running out for yo- no, _us_ … And you know what?!"

Yukino paused, raising her injured hand to wipe the teary trail that was beginning to form down her cheeks. Through labored breaths and apparent anguish, she continued.

"You're right! You're right about everything! We don't have much time left to spend together! I've been yearning to tell you everything that's been hurting me as of late, but I kept pushing you away before I could let it happen! Hell, _I_ don't even understand why I did it! God, I'm such a selfish person!"

Shaking my head, I scooted closer to Yukino and gently clasped her hand, brushing the top with my palm.

"No, you're not selfish at all." I stated firmly, cradling her bruises with both hands. "You were never a selfish person, not as long as I remember. You've always been there for me, especially when I was going through my darkest moments. Now let me be here for you."

For a few seconds, Yukino and I sat in place. Thinking back to the first time we found ourselves like this, huddled together and embracing our sorrows, I realized that we had both learned to rely on one another as friends and as support. It was a beautiful thing in its own way, as most of it had happened suddenly and out of the blue. Our bond was both formed and tempered by the adversity we had faced together over the past few months. However, I knew in my mind that the same thing that brought us together was soon going to tear us apart forever. All I could do in this moment was be present.

Yukino stirred gently, her face still distraught and her voice beginning to go hoarse.

"I came to terms with your death." She mumbled slowly, a haunting air to her words. "I thought about it long and hard, you know. I accepted the fact that you were going to be gone."

Confused, but comforted by the fact that Yukino was willingly speaking in a forthcoming manner, I sat still. The couch, the coffee table, the room, the apartment, the entire universe seemed to fade into the milieu as I focused all my energy and attention on the person sitting in front of me.

"I knew it was inevitable the moment I heard about it from your sister." Yukino continued, doing her best to keep her voice from wavering. "I thought about what it would mean not having you here anymore and all that that would entail. It _hurt_. It hurt badly, but I was willing to have peace that you'd be at rest and that the little time we spent together would forever be kept away in my heart and mind. I still strive for that peace. But that's not what any of this was about. No, if that were it, we never would've found ourselves sitting here like this in the first place."

Yukino paused, looking down and biting her lip before she looked at me again, a more ghastly look on her face. Shaking her head, she pressed forward.

"Somewhere along the line in my mind, I skipped over the part where you died and started contemplating how I was going to handle it after the matter." She went on, her tone wrought with grief and shame. "I thought about what life would be like having to carry on without you by my side. And you know what?"

I responded with a silent hum, still unsure of what Yukino was getting at.

"It wasn't nearly as horrific as I thought it would be."

 _What could that possibly mean?_

Stunned and unable to react or respond, I could feel a twinge in my side as my stoicism and emotional fortitude took a colossal hit. I wasn't sure whether I should feel relieved or undignified. Still, it was understandable that Yukino would have trouble coming clean about such a thought, and I appreciated her resolve in doing so.

"Time heals all wounds, but it also rots and obscures the memories that we cherish the most. People lose loved ones everyday, but aside from the void that's left in their absence, life goes on. Over time, the dead become less and less relevant and eventually there comes a point when they've all but died in our own minds aside from sporadic reminders that spark their memories. It's something we all know and acknowledge to some extent, but it's impossible to grasp until you've experienced it for yourself. Life is for the living, while the dead are left to rest in peace. I ruminated on that thought for a while, you know. It was sobering, yet comforting for someone who's grieving. But that's the thing…"

Yukino trailed off as she began to falter, holding both my hands and squeezing them tightly, our fingers interlaced.

"You're still here!" She shouted, her eyes watering again. "This whole time I was worrying about how I'd cope without you when you were right in front of me! I wasted weeks of precious time that we could've spent doing something worthwhile and squandered it on myself!

"How could I be so damn blind?! Why didn't I see it sooner?! Why-"

Yukino put her hands on my shoulders, gripping strong as she could, a pleading sound in her voice. I sat in place, holding her as she wept and shook violently. I, too, could feel tears coming out of my own eyes as I understood the pain that Yukino was keeping to herself. She was right about the dead losing their footing with the living. It was something that I'd given much thought to myself and the very same thing that motivated me to keep pressing on until the very end. However, her own realizations were causing her pain and suffering and there was nothing that I could do or say to help her with that once I was gone. Right now, however, I embraced her and held her close, doing all that I could do by being here for her.

"I'm sorry, Hachi-kun. I failed you…" She cried softly, her sobbing muffled by my shirt.

 _Don't you dare say that._

I placed both hands around her cheeks, wiping the tears as I looked her in the eyes once more, equally as anguished as she was. I caressed her dark, silky hair and brought our foreheads together.

"No, you didn't." I said reassuringly, clasping Yukino so tightly that I could feel her heart beat and the rapid rising and falling motions of each breath that she took. "You never once failed me."

Yukino collapsed into my arms and I held her, resting my chin on top of her head as she wept uncontrollably, releasing the pent up emotions that she'd been pushing down for weeks. Stroking her back, I leaned in and hushed her coaxingly.

"Thank you." I uttered almost silently in her ear, grateful for her compassion and tenacity.

I wanted to tell her that everything would be alright in the end, that all this was just a temporary bump in the road and that we'd be able to tackle the future together, unstoppable after overcoming impossible odds and tribulations that went far beyond what most people our age ever had to deal with. To do so would be a lie, however. This wasn't a temporary bump in the road. It was soon to be a dead end for me and an irreversible split for Yukino.

Pulling away and looking me in the eyes again, Yukino pursed her lips, a visible lump in her throat.

"I don't know what to do, Hachi-kun." She said, still trembling with fretfulness. "I feel this dangerous mix of emotions within me and it feels like they're going to consume me. I can't make them go away."

She wiped the tears from her eyes, sniffling as she did her best to pick herself up.

"There's this anxiety- it guilts me to even talk about… It's like I grow more and more nervous the more time passes. It's like this bubble that keeps expanding in my head, you know. But the worst part about it is that I feel that there's going to be this sense of relief when that finally happens, and I know I shouldn't be feeling that way. My god, thinking about it makes me feel like there's something wrong with me- like I'm a monster…"

"You're not a monster." I declared emphatically, shaking my head. "There's nothing wrong with what's going through your mind. It's a natural process, like the one that's going to end up doing me in. You can't help it, I know. So just acknowledge it for what it is. When I'm gone, I'll be at rest and you can sleep peacefully knowing that despite all other circumstances."

Yukino nodded, drying her eyes with her forearm. Sighing, she rested her head on my shoulder and latched onto my arm.

"So what now?" She asked simply, placing her hands in mine.

As I sat there, an intense beam of light hit my face. Following the glowing trail, I noticed the afternoon sun shining through the window. It sat comfortably in the brightly lit sky, unfettered by clouds or mist of any kind. Despite the woeful melancholy that suffocated us, the weather offered a cheerful distraction.

"Now… Now we enjoy ourselves." I said, attempting to bring a positive light to a rather grim conversation. "After all, it is a lovely day out."

I pointed out at the sky, noting the beautiful scenery. Small birds flew about and tree branches swayed gracefully in the breeze. Yukino took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, closing her eyes and slouching back restfully. She sat still for a moment before nodding her head and laying down in my lap. A more tranquil air surrounded us as we sat together, neither of us moving or speaking a word. My once racing heart began to slow to a more comfortable pace and for the first time today, I felt at ease.

"You're right, Hachi-kun." Yukino whispered out of the blue. "It's a lovely day out indeed."

Reaching over to the thoroughly cooled tea pot, she refilled our teacups and handed one to me. After taking a sip, she placed her cup back on the table and looked me in the eyes candidly.

"I should be the one thanking you." Yukino said, tracing her finger along my collarbone. "You have no idea how difficult it was to say everything I just said."

Putting my hand over hers, I sighed in respite and placed my cup next to hers.

"The promise you made to me a couple months ago... It goes both ways." I responded earnestly. "I'm sticking here with you until the bitter end as well."

"I'm grateful, I really am." Yukino said. "This whole situation just seems overwhelming to me. I wasn't lying when I said that the added stresses of school and setting forth my future career were getting to me. Having to juggle everything was enough to test my limits, but what really got to me were all the crazy thoughts that were running through my mind. I'm still having trouble coping with it all."

 _Understandable._

For having to deal with a number of different intense stressors, I didn't think that Yukino gave herself enough credit for what she was able to accomplish. Then again, the morbidity of my medical condition and her own internal psychological battles were more than enough to overshadow the achievements that she managed to accrue. I couldn't really blame her much as I understood what that was like from first-hand experience.

"I wish I had a solution to that." I replied frankly, shaking my head. "Problem is, there really isn't one. There's not really a right or wrong way to deal with what's been going on."

Yukino stared out the window, watching intently as the trees veered in the distance. I decided to join her, noting each miniature gust of wind that happened to blow by.

"If it means anything, I think you've handled it well." I mentioned, adding to my previous statement. "You say you managed to get perfect marks in the entrance exam for the field you want to get into, you've done well in school, you improved your relationships with your family members…

"You have a lot to be proud of, and I think you should embrace that. The milestones in your own personal journey are going to stick with you long after I'm gone and the memories that we shared will live as long as you do. I'm sure you know this, though. For now, you should just do what you feel is right. After all is said and done, you'll be left with pleasant memories and stories that you can share with others. You won't have any regrets or what-ifs that'll never be answered."

Taking a deep breath, I wrapped my other arm around Yukino and glanced at the ceiling. Our circumstances were vastly different, but our anxieties were alike and very much related. When it really came down to it, we were both taking stabs in the dark at how to handle ourselves.

"You know, I'll be honest with you." I continued. "I still struggle coping with this terminal illness nonsense as well. I keep on going through highs and lows and periods of time where I'm certain I have a plan and others where I feel lost and overwhelmed. It almost happens in cycles. But that's the thing. I think it's become a bit easier to accept that I don't really have much control over my own situation. It's made it less frightening to cope with the fact that I'm on this unpredictable roller coaster and just sit through the ride. Your father's advice to me has stood through many trials and it holds true now more than ever to me.

"I know I've only got a minimal amount of time left, but that could be anywhere from a few weeks to a few days. I'm on twice as many meds as I was a couple weeks ago and if pain management becomes an issue, I'll be on even more. I've got no clue what's going to happen to me now or later. I could have a seizure, an aneurysm, a stroke… But you know what? Right now, I'm only thinking about right now…"

And that I was. The grim reality of my situation had put a whole different meaning on living life one day at a time. After all, the near future for me was uncertain at best and violently doomed at worst. The distant future… Well, there wasn't one. This was clearly Carpe Diem, a mentality that not too long ago I would have deemed the most ridiculous of ridiculous mottos to live by. Funny enough, I was living in the midst of a ridiculous predicament. This wasn't an excuse to shirk responsibilities, it was a means to free myself mentally and stay sane in a place where no sanity was to be found. In times like these, mental and emotional liberation was vital to a living a tolerable existence, not just for me but for everyone around me, especially _us_...

Yukino and I sat in silence, enjoying the rays of the afternoon sun and the now cozy atmosphere of Yukino's apartment. The only audible sound in the room was Yukino's breathing, which had now settled to a steady rhythm. She appeared quiet and reserved like before, but there was a different mood to her this time. It looked like a burden had been lifted off of her shoulders and that she was ready to face her demons head on. She looked graceful as opposed to robotic.

After a few minutes, I felt Yukino stir under my arm, mumbling something quietly before yawning and slouching against me.

"Right now…" She murmured curiously, echoing my last thought. A serene, yet musing expression found its way on her face. Resting her hand on my kneecap, she began kneading gently with her thumb.

The sunlight bouncing off the coffee table reverberated through the room, illuminating her face and accentuating her glittery eyes. Although she was crying hysterically several minutes ago, her tears had dried and the puffs around the corners of her eyelids were beginning to fade. For some reason, she looked even more radiant than last night at the diner. Perhaps it was the lighting… Or maybe it was the change of mannerisms.

"Right now…" She said again, her eyes narrowing. She seemed to be deliberating over something although I couldn't tell exactly what that was.

Looking up at me again, she moved a lone strand of hair away from her face and tenderly bit her lip. Turning around, she sat squarely on my thigh and ran her hand down my chest, veering off to the side before wrapping her arm around me and resting her chin on top of my shoulder blade. Slowly beginning to massage my back in circular motions, she breathed sensually, closing her eyes.

 _She couldn't possibly be..._

My thoughts were both interrupted and confirmed as she suddenly pulled back and put one hand on my cheek, looking me in the eyes with a meditative, yet determined look on her face.

"Right now, what I want more than ever…" She started, gently pressing her hand to my forehead. "Is you…"

 _Wait…_

This was all happening so suddenly.

 _What is she doing?_ I thought to myself, confused but enamored by her suggestive actions. _Is she even aware of what she's doing?_

Part of me wondered whether or not Yukino _truly_ wanted this or if it was just a pointless whim that she wanted to satisfy, but the look in her eyes told me that this was real. Here we were, embracing each other after having a tumultuous heart to heart about a morose ordeal. No, this was definitely real. There was no questioning it. Not only did she know what she was doing, she probably had this exact moment planned in the back of her mind for a long time. The signs were there before, although the _moment_ was everso elusive and internal strife had prevented her from acting out. The gradually reddening sun highlighted the amorous change in atmosphere as our minds shifted towards our bodies.

My heart started racing again, this time with excitement and anticipation. I had no issue letting this continue down the path it was going down although we both knew that it was a slippery slope. As I brought my hand to her cheek and moved closer to return the gesture, my mind coursed with a myriad of thoughts, desires, and emotions. Although it was a spur of the moment occasion, I wanted this. I wanted to share intimacy with Yukino in a way that I hadn't before and make love to the most beautiful girl I'd ever met or laid eyes upon. It was a dream come true amidst the most dreadful nightmare of my life.

With every ounce of lust and craving that I could muster, I moved in and kissed her, smothering her lips with mine. She moaned softly as we touched, our tongues crashing wildly like waves in a typhoon. She began sliding her hands up and down my torso, titillatingly getting closer and closer to my inner thigh. Unbeknownst to myself, I was doing the same, running my hands down Yukino's subtle curves until my palm met the side of her hip, grazing her bottom-side everso delicately. She exhaled sharply in response, moving her hand to the side of my shirt in an escalating manner. Startled, she moved her head to the side, bumping my nose awkwardly.

"Oh, sorry." Yukino said, her face blushing uncontrollably with embarrassment.

With a light giggle, she leaned forward again and put her hands under my shirt, stroking my bare chest. I could feel all residual traces of apprehension and inhibition rapidly melting away as she began gyrating her hips, her face still fuming red. I could feel myself going red in the face as well as I acknowledged that neither of us were exactly well-versed at this sort of thing. As I shifted my attention downward I could feel my lower member beginning to harden, the fabric of my pants stretching as it raised.

As Yukino moved forward again, she bumped my leg, causing us both to stiffen. I could almost feel the silhouette of her nether regions as she grinded herself against me and I knew for a fact that she could feel mine. She squeezed her lips lightly and involuntarily, reaching down under my shirt again, tugging at the side. I pulled it over my head in a fluid motion, tossing it aside on the arm of the couch. In an instant, my hand found its way to the side of Yukino's blouse, although the adrenaline coursing through my veins caused my fingers to fumble with the button.

 _This is amazing…_ I thought to myself as I explored an avenue of affection previously unknown to me or Yukino.

As we continued this tango of cumbersome, yet delightful sensuality, I could feel my mind white-washing itself with bliss as my senses began to heighten and intensify. As I managed to get my finger around Yukino's blouse button, she raised her hand, stopping me momentarily.

"Wait." She said, pausing for a second to compensate for her heavy breathing.

I sat frozen, wondering if we were moving too fast or if Yukino was having second thoughts about taking things another step. The lines between caution and slow-kindling passion were all but a blur.

 _Is this actually what she wants?_ I pondered once more, pulling back slightly.

"Before we go any further…" Yukino continued, putting her hand on mine. "Follow me."

Gently leading me by the hand, Yukino walked us down the hall and into her room. She swiftly pulled the curtains around her windows closed, leaving just enough sunlight for us to see each other in the now dimly lit room. Turning on the lamp on her nightstand, she grabbed me by the shoulder and brought her lips to mine, propping herself on the tips of her toes.

We instantly resumed our previous activities. Yukino brought her hand down and started massaging my inner thigh while my hand found its way back to her blouse button. Simultaneously, her hand began working my jeans zipper, the twitching motion of her hands stimulating my manhood and causing it to sprout to its full size. The passion in Yukino's eyes flared with an intensity that I hadn't witnessed before, spilling over into her movements as she deliberately rubbed her body against mine.

As my pants crumpled down my leg, I gawkily did a hop dance to get them off, shaking leg after leg in an attempt to shed them. Yukino giggled throughout the process and I couldn't help but let out a laugh as well as I realized that I probably looked quite ridiculous trying to make out with her in the middle of such a movement. As my pants finally hit the ground, Yukino paused for a second to move back, eyeing me up and down as I was now almost completely undressed.

"You've taken good care of yourself, Hachi-kun." She said, biting her lip and running her index finger along the middle of my abs.

Elated but not knowing exactly how to respond, I gave her a quick "thanks" and brought our lips back together, my hands moving towards the top of her skirt. Yukino leaned back towards her drawer, her free hand reaching for something as she opened it. As her skirt plopped down, we both sat on her bed. I felt a tiny bead of sweat coming from Yukino's forehead. Her skin was soft and smooth, and she smelled like lavishly scented lotion. Although she had fairly small breasts, her frame was slender and her curves were well-defined. Her petite bosom was a cute, endearing feature which had yet to be fully explored.

Yukino brought her other hand in front of her, holding out a small square wrapper with jagged edges. Recognizing it as a condom, I slowly plucked it from her hand. Her face turned a dark maroon as she looked to the side.

"It never hurts to be prepared…" She muttered conservatively, her gaze returning to me.

 _Oh boy…_ I thought to myself, taking the circular rubber piece out and tossing the wrapper to the side.

Although every person my age knew what this was and had probably been told how to use it at some point or another, I never had any experience with it myself. Shrugging my shoulders, I took off my boxers and held the thing in between my fingers. I noticed as Yukino looked down at my erection, biting her lip subtly as she laid eyes upon it for the first time.

I tried extending the rubber with my thumb, pressing the tip and attempting to roll it out on its sides. Curiously, it wouldn't budge much, and I was left fiddling with it while making an awkward facial expression. Yukino let out a small laugh as I struggled to figure out how this deceptively tricky piece of contraception worked. Moving my thumb again, I noticed the sides begin to loosen and the condom begin to roll the other way.

 _Oh. I had it backwards…_

I shrugged once more as I looked at Yukino and let out a small chuckle of my own, rolling the condom over my erection until it wrapped snugly around the base. As Yukino's blouse fell clumsily to the floor, she reached around to the back of her bra strap, the clip unlatching with a muffled click. She leaned back on her bed, timidly pulling me forward. As I stood over her, she guided my hand towards her hips until my fingers were wrapped around the bottom of her panties. A sensation of light perspiration and… fluids… surrounded my finger tips as I slowly pulled them off, tossing them on the floor next to my underwear.

 _We're really doing this._ I thought to myself, watching as Yukino's bra tumbled over the edge of her dresser.

I cupped Yukino's breasts, massaging them in a closing circular motion. As my thumbs slid over her areolas, I could feel her body shudder out of delicacy. The glancing beams of sunlight revealed the perky tips of her nipples, their dark pink hue glowing each time they passed through the rays. I gently slithered my hand over her navel and directly in between her legs. As I softly put my index finger inside of her, she gasped suddenly.

With a gentle rubbing motion, I began moving my finger back and forth, causing Yukino to pant and moan.

"Mmm… Hachi-kun…" She moaned, rubbing her hands up and down my pelvis, occasionally teasing my manhood. I closed my eyes, indulging myself in the splendor of the moment, focusing on the little peaks of erotic pleasure that I felt as Yukino kept stroking me down under. The sticky sensation on my fingertips deepened the experience.

Although Yukino's face was still very much red, she showed no shame as she lay there, waiting in anticipation. Crawling closer until our noses were touching, I paused.

"How long have you wanted to do this?" I whispered, my hand grazing the top of Yukino's stomach. As we brought our bodies flush together, I felt her bare breasts on my chest, the pressure of her nipples creating a sensation that almost drove me insane.

"It's been… on my mind… since I first confessed…" She said in between breaths, backing up until she was against the frame of her bed. Clutching me by both hands, she looked me in the eyes anticipatingly. "Let's make a memory that'll last the rest of our lives…"

With a nod, I moved forward once more, kissing the side of her neck. This was it. We were going to make a brand new memory together.

"Are you ready?" I asked carefully. Yukino nodded slowly and took in a deep breath, bracing herself for what was to come.

I lowered my body until our hips were even. Fumbling with myself for a second, I found the entrance to her vagina. I moved my hips forward slowly in a pushing motion. I felt something that was soft and pliable give as I pressed. Instantly, I was enveloped in a warm, moist sensation that was accompanied by pure physical pleasure. Yukino held her breath, letting a stifled moan slip through her lips. Concerned, I pulled back.

"Is this okay?" I asked, worried that I might be hurting her.

"Keep going…" She said, smiling affirmatively and clenching my hands tightly.

With another push, I could feel her walls constricting around me. Her body bucked with both pleasure and pain.

"Ahh…" Yukino moaned affectionately, squeezing my hand until her knuckles began to turn white. "Hachi-kun…"

Moments after I pulled out, I noticed a dark red tinge to the fluids that were coming from inside of her.

 _This is…_

"It's my first time." Yukino said, a sincere smile on her face. "I wanted it to be with you…"

Filled with happiness, I kissed her on the cheek.

"It's mine too." I admitted candidly, without a trace of embarrassment or discomfiture to be felt.

Wrapping her hands around my hip, Yukino moved forward, placing me back inside of her. With a craving look on her face, she uttered two words.

"Take me."

Slowly, I began moving back and forth, watching Yukino's facial expressions closely as I copulated with her. With each thrust, I found myself further immersed in her responses, her voice sounding like sweet candy as she let out cries of ecstasy. Initially rigid and motionless, she began moving her hips, loosening up as her tension was replaced with a voluptuous drive. We found a wonderous groove, moving our bodies in concert. The feeling of her flesh bouncing off mine of spurred me on, causing me to plunge myself deeper inside of her, the tip of my manhood throbbing with pleasure.

"Haa… Ahh…" Yukino wailed fanatically, gripping my wrists.

I began kissing her neck, leaving a light trail of red marks that ran along her collarbone. Her labored breathing grew louder, dwarfing the sound of the sheets that ruffled beneath us. Moving my head downward, I grazed Yukino's breasts, eliciting a loud gasp as I stimulated her sensitive nipples. Our hips began moving faster, the push-pull dance of our interlaced bodies speeding up. Yukino grabbed me by the shoulder, digging her nails into my back with each stroke.

 _This is surreal…_ I thought to myself, looking Yukino in the eyes as we both lost ourselves in our intimate, carnal desires.

 _Her smooth, supple body… Her nimble movements…_

"Ahh, Yukino... I love you…" I breathed, losing myself in the moment.

"Yes… Hachi-kun… I- ahh!" Yukino shouted, panting as I continued thrusting my hips. "I love you too!"

The intensity of our movements amplified, causing us to swing our hips erratically, our rhythms becoming disjoined. Yukino brought her lips to mine once more. I could feel her moans reverberating as she suppressed the noises in her throat. Pulling back, she brought a hand to my cheek.

"Hey, Hachi-kun…" She started, placing her other hand on her mattress. "Let me be on top."

With that, I let go of Yukino and laid flat on my back, watching as she crawled on top of me seductively. She propped herself on her knees, moving forward until my member slowly re-entered her. She leaned towards me, her face mere inches from mine as she began grinding. I reached forward, groping her breasts as she began moving up and down. Her warm juices slickened the ride, causing her to glide on my rod seamlessly in a piston-like fashion. The fire in her soul burned furiously, glowing brightly through her eyes as she displayed the full extent of her lust.

"Ahh, Yukino…" I whispered passionately, my hands moving down towards Yukino's waist, guiding her as she recoiled her hips.

Yukino's entire body trembled as she brought herself further down the length of my shaft. I saw her chest rise briefly as she gasped amorously, losing herself in the throes of pleasure. As she continued to hastily propagate herself, I could feel each and every contour of her sweet bottom. I was nearly mesmerized by the feeling, round yet incredibly soft as each contraction caused tiny ripples in the surface. Her motions slowed, but became more vigorous and exaggerated. With each bounce of flesh on flesh, she moaned louder and louder, the vibrations of her voice resonating throughout her entire body. The sound drove me crazy, nearly sending me over the edge. This feeling was so great, so intense that I felt I that I was about to explode.

"Yukino… I'm going to…"

With one final lurch, Yukino's back arched and her knees buckled, forcing her down as far as she could go, her walls tightening reflexively around my manhood.

"Hachi-kun!" She shrieked, lowering her head to the side of my shoulder and sprawling herself on top of me.

"Yukino!" I shouted simultaneously as my manhood throbbed, twitching with orgasmic pleasure.

We laid there for a moment as we caught our breathes. We cradled each other, lying for a couple minutes without uttering a single word. A gentle silence encompassed us as I came back to my senses. That was one of the most incredible experiences of my entire life. Never before had I been given the opportunity to share myself so intimately or with such intense sexual energy. The fact that I got to do it here with the person I adored was a blessing, even if I was cursed with my predicament.

Slowly, Yukino moved off of me and set herself on her side. Clumsily, I pulled the condom off and dropped it in the trash can sitting next to Yukino's nightstand. I rolled over, lying face to face with Yukino on the middle of her soft mattress. Looking around, I noticed the disheveled mess that surrounded us, blankets hanging off of the bed and stained sheets tossed in a pile.

"That was incredible…" Yukino murmured, caressing my cheek with her fingertips.

"Yeah, it was…" I said, wrapping my arm around her, embracing her naked body in post-sex glory.

This had all happened on a moment's notice, preceded by an emotionally charged confession and a peaceful moment of silence. To be honest, it probably was ultimately decided on a whim by both of us. I was okay with that, however. It was something that we both clearly wanted to pursue and a step further in our relationship. I wanted our remaining time together to be savored in the happiest, richest way possible. Yukino pulled a pillow from her side and placed it under our heads.

"So, what do you wanna do now?" I asked softly.

"I was thinking…" Yukino started, putting her finger to her chin. "We could go get a bite to eat like I was saying earlier. That BBQ place is open for another few hours."

"Yeah, that sounds great actually." I replied, cracking a meager smile.

Yukino pulled the sheets over us, moving in closer and resting her head on my chest.

"Let's stay like this for just a little longer, though…" She whispered, closing her eyes momentarily.

"Definitely."

Today was a day that I'd remember for the rest of my life. My future was being shoved into the span of an unknown period of time that ranged from days to weeks, my health was beginning to rapidly deteriorate, and I was faced with the uncertainty of whether or not I'd even get to live long enough to graduate with Yukino and the rest of my peers. It was an unsettling state of affairs, but amidst it all, I rested easy knowing that we were fulfilling our heart's desires.

 **A/N:**

 **Hey guys! Bronze V Lee Sin here! I was very apprehensive about the second part of this chapter, but decided to follow through with it anyways. It was a thought that I had in my mind over a year and a half ago when I got serious about writing this story, although it had no place within the first few chapters. As time went on, I weighed in on it in the back of my head and consulted with a few peers of mine to get some feedback on it. What I did get in return, although solid advice, was mixed and I ultimately decided on waiting until the moment felt right to do it if I ever would. If that meant not doing it at all, I had no qualms whatsoever. Halfway through the chapter, as I was planning on wrapping things up and posting, I decided to take a leap of faith and go for it. I had to rehash things a few times to make it seem somewhat appropriate, but I went through with it knowing all that I've done and written beforehand. Part of me feels as if I went a bit too far with it, but the major, latter half of me feels like it was an overdue moment. I'm probably going to get mixed reactions and some of you will probably end up dropping, but it's a risk that I felt was appropriate to take.**

 **In any case, I hope you all enjoyed. I'll be posting another chapter soon. Bronze V Lee Sin out! Hikuu!**


	28. Chapter 27: What Lies Ahead

Chapter 27: What Lies Ahead

 _Agh…_ I thought to myself, blocking my eyes as the afternoon rays shone upon my face.

"...for the life of me find where Yuigahama-san left her tea cup." Yukino muttered to herself, scratching her head with her index finger.

With a yawn, I raised my head and looked around to see a rather confused looking Yukino with a saucer in her hands. Here we were again, on another Friday afternoon, closing the Service Club room for the day. Yuigahama had just left and I had begun to unsuspectedly drift off, nearly falling into the clutches of the impromptu nap trap. Now fully awake, I turned to Yukino, noticing a glint of sunlight reflecting off of what appeared to be a white surface nearby.

"You mean that?" I asked, pointing in the direction of the shiny object.

"Ah, yes. Good eyes, Sleepy-kun." Yukino replied humorously, swiftly picking up the cup and taking it over to the sink for rinsing.

I scooted out of my chair and reached for my bag, glancing over at Yukino as she lifted the handle on the faucet. With my bag slung over my shoulder, I moved over to the west-ward facing window and started closing the curtains.

The past week was fairly uneventful in and of itself although some rather dispiriting developments had taken place in regards to my health. Although I hadn't had another seizure episode, conventional painkillers, steroidal medication, and the prescribed migraine medication had begun to grow less effective. My appetite, although not completely absent, was beginning to wane. My stamina was beginning to give way during my runs, with times falling off after earlier and earlier splits. I was becoming more lethargic, sleeping up to 10 hours a night while still maintaining the urge to take midday naps like the one I had just nearly fallen into. Even my beloved Maxx Coffee was beginning to lose its kick. As I walked over to the adjacent window and started lowering the curtains, I began to think to myself.

 _Yukino and I are closer than ever… However, we haven't had the opportunity to sit down and talk very much this week due to a combination of a busy schedule and personal exhaustion. There's so much I want to say and talk about, but-_

"By the way, Hachi-kun…" Yukino began interrupting my thought as she placed the tea cup in its proper box. "Do you want to grab some dinner after we close up the room?"

 _Are you a mind-reader?_

"I was actually just thinking something similar…" I said, trailing off as I noticed the impeccable timing of Yukino's suggestion. "Yeah, that would be great."

"You up for barbeque again or would you wish to try some other place?" Yukino asked, stowing the tea-set box underneath the table.

"The tab will be on me, so don't worry about the price." She quickly added, insistently raising her finger.

"Barbeque sounds fine." I replied simply, satisfied with the offer. "It isn't too far from school, but it's still going to take a while to get there on foot."

Yukino paused for a second, putting her finger to her chin.

"Hmm… Perhaps we could opt for something closer? There are a few restaurants within a city block or two of the high school." She proposed, reaching over a chair for her bookbag.

"Nah, I like your original idea." I said as we began to walk out of the classroom. "Besides, I rode my bike to school today. You don't mind going for a ride, do you?"

Yukino giggled to herself quietly as she locked the door.

"Of course not, although I must ask… How will we both fit on that thing?" She asked, turning to me.

"It's a big, sturdy bike." I pointed out reassuringly as we walked down the stairs at the corner of the hallway. "Besides, I've had Komachi sit on the back plenty of times. You'll be fine."

A few moments later, we were outside near the bike stalls. After undoing the lock, I put my bag in the front basket and motioned for Yukino to sit on the back. Slowly, she sat down on the back and placed her bag neatly in her lap.

As I started pedaling, the evening breeze ruffled the edges of my blazer, causing them to flutter in the wind. I could feel a rather light Yukino gently leaning into my back as I continued pedaling down the street, making way towards what was now our favorite spot to eat. We sat like this for a few minutes, enjoying each other's company and the peaceful scenery of the afternoon sunset. Noticing that Yukino herself was beginning to grow a little drowsy, I cleared my throat and spoke up to break the lull.

"So… how are things going overall?" I asked, intentionally leaving the question open-ended.

"What do you mean?" Yukino asked curiously, raising her head.

"You know, school… Future plans… Life…" I replied.

"Oh." Yukino said, yawning cutely in my ear. "Hmm…"

As I pedaled on, I noticed the restaurant sign glowing in the distance, a sign that we were getting very close.

"Well, I suppose if you're asking about school, things are fine. As you know, there's been a little more work than usual due to the whole end-of-school-year rush, but I've managed with no issue… As have you." She added, momentarily pausing to adjust herself. "Entrance exam results will be coming in any day now, although I'm not very worried. I felt prepared enough. Yuigahama-san seemed to be on top of her business as well. I have a feeling that we'll both be coming out of this with a happy, positive outlook."

"I see." I said simply, slowing down to a gradual stop as we approached a lone bike stand next to the entrance of the restaurant. "That's always good to hear. It'll definitely make things easier for you two moving forward."

"Indeed." Yukino replied, stepping off the bike and slinging her bag over her shoulder.

"What schools did you apply to?" I asked, securing the lock around the back wheel.

"Quite a few, actually." Yukino answered. "Most notably, there's Tokyo and Kyoto universities, but I also applied to a few smaller ones just in case… Chiba U included."

"Ahh, nice." I replied. I had no doubt in my mind that a student of Yukino's caliber would get into Japan's top two universities with ease.

As we walked through the entrance, I noticed that we were the only two patrons in the restaurant. A rather bored looking waitress excitedly came to the front desk to accommodate us.

"Table for two again?" She asked with a spark of recognition in her eye.

"Ah, yes." Yukino and I answered simultaneously.

With that, we walked over to an empty table by a window. The sunset softly shone through, leaving a lively pink-orangish hue as it reflected off the table edge. The waitress poured us both glasses of water, turned on the grill, and took our orders before leaving us to our own devices.

"No plans of going overseas?" I asked, remembering Yukino's mention of wanting to study medicine in America when we last broached the subject on Valentine's Day.

"Well, not for right now anyways." Yukino replied thoughtfully. "The plan is to finish my undergraduate studies here before going overseas for medical school. I want to volunteer while I'm here before going off. There are all sorts of radiology and oncology centers around Tokyo and if I choose to stay here in Chiba, well there's… You know."

I nodded in acknowledgement and placed my hand over Yukino's, rubbing everso tenderly. Looking her in the eyes, I noticed an expression of inspiration, a sign that she was truly following her heart's desire.

"Your father will be proud." I mentioned, noting the enthusiasm and compassion that Hiro Yukinoshita had shown me each time we'd spoken in person.

"I am too." I added sincerely, bringing Yukino close to me.

"Thank you." She responded gently, leaning into my shoulder while gazing out at the sunset.

Birds could be seen fluttering outside the window near the river as cars drove on the bridge that went over it. Although spring was a ways off, the first sign of budding flowers could be seen on the cherry blossom trees. Little specks of pink sporadically dotted the branches like the first sparks of a lively fire.

 _Such a peaceful evening…_ I thought to myself as we sat watching the dusk slowly fade in the skyline.

 _It's a shame that I won't be able to enjoy moments like this for much longer… Might as well take it all in while I can…_

Just then, the waitress came back with a platter of meats and set them down on the table gently before walking over to the front counter where she was originally when we arrived. As we started cooking our food, Yukino cocked her head curiously.

"So I spoke to Hiratsuka-sensei about the future of the Service Club yesterday…" She began, pausing momentarily to place a piece of meat on her plate. "Mostly good news, actually."

 _Interesting… I'm sure Hiratsuka-sensei will do what she can to keep things going once all of the current members have gone on. After all, she was the one who started it in the first place…_

"She told me that she's going to work to get people involved next year. Also, if things go well enough and the club gets enough members and recognition, there'll be a little more funding. Not that it'd be needed, of course. Ingenuity is one of the things we're known for." Yukino continued with a wink at the end.

"Of course, of course." I replied with a smirk, acknowledging the humor of her last statement. "Speaking of, we've gotten quite a bit of recognition from the student body as a whole."

"Makes sense. We've picked up on much of their slack after all." Yukino lightheartedly shot back.

I put down my cooking tongs to take a sip of water before looking back at Yukino, who had a peculiarly playful look in her eyes. After a brief moment of silence, we both burst into laughter before returning to our dinner.

It was sort of a curious thing. Amidst the gloom, terror and unease of an impending death and the usual stress related to school and life changes, we were sat laughing and making facetious jokes about fellow peers. It was strange that we were able to do so in spite of all that had happened over the past month. Perhaps we were joking around _because_ of all the craziness surrounding us. Not in an escapist, avoidant manner, but in a direct manner that allowed us to cope with our anxieties.

A few minutes after we dug into dinner, Yukino wiped her mouth with a napkin and faced me again.

"You know, this goes without saying, but I'm really glad that Hiratsuka-sensei put us both in the Service Club." She said softly, reaching for her water glass.

"Yeah, I am too." I replied honestly, looking out at the fading sunset. "She did us both a favor. Many favors, actually. She probably doesn't even realize the extent of the impact that she had on us. Yuigahama too, for that matter, even if her circumstances were different from ours."

Yukino merely nodded in response.

It was true. By putting us in the Service Club, she started a cascade of events that would end up transforming us from cynical, disillusioned people into helping hands that spread happiness and goodwill. We forged friendships and relationships and found ways to overcome different obstacles, from organizing student events with little to no resources of our own to riding out the toughest parts of my own predicament.

"Hey, Hachi-kun…" Yukino said, indulging herself in the evening scenery alongside me. "Do you remember what it was like at the beginning? When you first joined?"

"Yeah, I do." I responded simply. "If I recall correctly, you couldn't stand me."

Yukino shot a playfully patronizing glance at me, lowering her head and raising a single brow.

"Ahem. If I recall correctly, you didn't really like _me_ much, either." She retorted friskily, prodding me on the shoulder.

I couldn't help but let out a hearty laugh while nodding.

"Yeah, yeah. To be fair, I wasn't exactly thrilled to be there at the time." I said, shrugging and raising my free hand, palm facing the ceiling. Sighing, I looked Yukino in the eye and straightened my demeanor.

"I was a different person. A broken person. I was insistent on holding a certain view of justice, even if it was to a fault. Even when I saw that we had quite a bit in common, it took a while for me to be honest with myself and open up completely. It took a lot for me to be able to do that at the time, but it was worth it. After all, it eventually turned us into _us_ …"

"Yes, yes it did." Yukino replied with a nod. "I'm glad I got the opportunity to meet you, Hachiman."

I smiled at Yukino's rather formal use of my given name.

"Watching you stumble and fall as you found yourself, I learned a thing or two. Down beneath the grumpy veneer was someone who held more compassion than anyone could ever know. Watching you grow, I fell in love. Although I know this love is bound to end tragically, I'm glad I got the opportunity to experience it. I wouldn't take it back for the world. Meeting you and Yuigahama-san… Sharing all the moments that we shared together, the three of us and just the two of us… Whether they were joyful times or stressful times where we could hardly even look at each other… I'm glad I had the opportunity to share them with you. I truly believe that they've turned me into a better person. All of us are better people than when we first started out." She continued, a sad, but stoic expression on her face as she held her head high.

"I apologize if I'm getting too sentimental. The end-of-school atmosphere and… eventual culmination of our time together… have caused me to reflect a bit."

I patted her on the back gently, shaking my head reassuringly.

"You're not the only one." I said modestly, watching as the last remnants of daylight dipped below the horizon. Yukino merely nodded and took a sip of water, her gaze fixed on the gently swaying tree branches which were now illuminated by streetlight.

Once again, we found ourselves at another conversational pause. This time, however, there was no air of dread or any sort of secretive tension to be found. Instead, there was comfort. We'd come to accept that this sort of thing often happens as a result of the natural flow of a conversation. With that, we peacefully finished our dinner before heading to the front, where Yukino paid the tab. As I unchained my bike from the stall, I turned to Yukino, who seemed to be contemplating something while browsing her phone.

"What's the matter?" I asked gently, zipping my bag after putting the lock back.

Yukino cocked her head before putting her fingertip to her lip and pressing firmly.

"Well, I don't wish to spoil the mood of our evening, but I must ask… Would you prefer a ride home?" She asked timidly. "Our chauffeur doesn't seem to be busy at the moment and I know you've been cycling all over the place today…"

"I don't mind biking a little longer." I replied scrupulously. "Why, are you catching a ride back to your place?"

Yukino shook her head before putting her phone back in her pocket.

"No, I was just a little concerned that you might be overworking yourself." She said with a slightly apprehensive tone.

"Of course not." I answered frankly. "Besides, there's nothing else I'd rather be doing anyways."

I gestured for Yukino to sit on the back again with a reassuring smile on my face. In all honesty, I was pushing myself a little further than I would normally feel comfortable doing. The ride back to Yukino's wasn't incredibly lengthy, but combined with the trip back to my house and the fact that my health was rapidly beginning to deteriorate… I knew I'd be pushing myself. Still, this was one of the last times I'd ever get to do this and I wasn't going to let a grand opportunity to ride freely with Yukino go to waste.

Soon enough, we were on our way, the tailwind making things slightly easier for me as we rode along the brightly lit sidewalk. After a minute or so, I felt Yukino wrap her arms around my chest as she rested her head on my back once more, similar to the way she did on the trip from school. It was a feeling of pure bliss. Wanting to make this last as long as possible, I slowed my pedaling pace considerably to the point where I was gradually snaking from left to right to keep the bike upright. Yukino began running her finger along my shoulder. With a long sigh, she lifted her head and spoke coaxingly into the chilly night air.

"Hey, Hachi-kun…" She started, her tone beginning to dip a bit. "Mind if I ask you a question? An intimately serious question?"

"Of course not." I replied, cruising along the edge of the bike lane. "I'm happy to answer."

Upon hearing Yukino's proposal, I almost immediately knew what she was going to bring up. The way she worded it, the fact that we hadn't talked about it in detail yet, the conditions surrounding our relationship at the moment… I was glad, though. Just enough time had elapsed since we took our relationship to the next level to fully process and consider the implications of what we did and it was clear that both of us were done beating around the bush when it came to discussing sensitive matters.

"What we did last weekend… How did you interpret that?" Yukino asked softly with, a slightly enquiring tone in her voice.

An aura of muteness surrounded us for a moment as I considered her question. To be completely honest, I wasn't one hundred percent certain how to interpret what happened. There was so much happening at the time and so many factors at play that we both sort of fell into the heat of the moment. Still, this wasn't just an impulsive tryst. There were many deep-seeded desires and raw, genuine emotions involved.

 _Is this what we truly wanted?_ I asked myself.

 _It all went down so quickly and in the midst of such a chaotic period of our lives… Neither of us was experienced with this sort of thing and neither of us really knew what we were doing. Still…_

"I'm… I'm not entirely sure how to interpret it." I answered earnestly. "What I do know is that I was following my heart's desire and that my feelings towards you haven't changed one bit. I wouldn't take that evening back for anything."

"I see…" Yukino murmured, seemingly ruminating on my firm, but possibly ambiguous response. "You know, looking back on it… I feel that everything that took place and everything we did leading up to it… It was all very sudden in how it happened. But even so, it felt right to me."

I felt Yukino latch on a little tighter as I continued meandering down the road. Part of me wondered whether or not we were being true to ourselves when we decided to go all the way. I knew for a fact that we were normally very reserved people and that losing ourselves to lust wasn't something that we would ordinarily do. Then again, our circumstances were far from ordinary...

"You know, Hachi-kun… I must admit that I thought about this sort of thing for a while. There were plenty of times I wanted to take the opportunity, but I never really knew how to go about it. After we talked last week, things sort of clicked for me… It all happened so fast, but I felt a relief like I'd never felt before, even if temporarily. I was finally able and unafraid to open up completely and give myself to the person I loved, the person who did so much to help me understand myself." She continued.

This wasn't just a case of two naïve teenagers caught up in some empty bout of young love. We'd gone through a lot together and gotten each other through all kinds of low points. Although we were acting out the quintessential youthful fantasy, we had loads invested in our relationship beforehand. Unlike the typical case where two people become enamored with one another and eventually fall out of love due to something trivial, we'd discovered something more profound. The fact that we were able to discuss such a matter so soon after with conviction was proof of this. Even so, we understood the need to hear it from one another to confirm it.

"I'm glad I as able to share such an experience with you." I said simply. Although this conversation was beginning to seem a little one-sided, we both understood each other's emotions and stood on the same page. As I pedaled leisurely down the road, I could see Yukino's apartment in the distance. Thanks to my slow pacing and mostly paying attention to Yukino's soothing voice, I didn't feel much fatigue setting in.

 _I'm glad we were able to have a heart-to-heart about this._ I thought to myself, turning the corner to the street Yukino's apartment was on.

I decelerated to a comically slow pace until finally coming to a stop at the apartment's bike stall. As I secured the bike to the rack and escorted Yukino to the entrance. Eventually we stopped in front of the elevator, standing around as we waited for it to come down.

"Thanks for dinner. It was great as always." I said, appreciative of Yukino's insistent generosity.

"Indeed it was." She replied, turning to the elevator as the doors opened. "I'm glad we finally got some time to ourselves, you know."

I nodded in agreement. Out of courtesy, I stepped inside with Yukino as to walk her to her door.

"Me too." I replied, not being able to help the smile that formed on my face.

A few seconds later, we stepped out of the elevator and walked towards Yukino's door. As she fumbled for her keys in her bag, she paused for a second and curiously tilted her head.

"Hey, Hachi-kun. I know it's a little late and all, but you wouldn't mind staying a little longer for tea, would you?" She asked, a very content expression on her face.

"Of course not."

With that, we walked inside.

I still worried for Yukino. With how close we had gotten, I knew that she was going to have a tough time adjusting with life changes while I was still fresh in memory. I now fully understood the concern that Haruno laid out to me a while back. Regardless, Yukino was a strong person with one hell of a newfound temperament. I had no doubt in my mind that she would eventually go on to do great things in life. I had faith in her ability to handle what lay ahead. I knew that I could trust her to do what was best for herself and that in and of itself was a relief. For now, though, I wanted to enjoy every last moment with her that I could.

 **A/N:**

 **Wow! It's been over half a year since I last updated, but I'm back again! Life in general has been unrelentingly busy as of late, but luckily I've found myself with a breath of fresh air and an opportunity to write. I notice that last chapter had mixed feedback, which I kind of expected after including a certain scene. I will admit that making a decision like that off the cuff without the proper organization beforehand was partially irresponsible on my part, but I'm still satisfied with it nonetheless. I agree with Gotchi that it was a bit late to include it, but what's done is done. It probably would've made more sense to incorporate it several chapters back when Hachiman was at his lowest, most unstable point. Unfortunately, the chronology of the last few chapters has been choppy and split up over the course of a year and a half, so I inevitably got a little rusty. Excuses, excuses. I know. For those of you who were disappointed in the decision, I apologize for letting you down and hope that you enjoy the rest of the story if you choose to stay along with me. I'd normally have a lot to say about the upcoming chapters, but at this point I'd like for them to speak for themselves. In any case, my writing schedule is going to a little sporadic for the next few months, but I'll find time to write and publish when I can. Thank you for reading everyone! Bronze V Lee Sin out! Hikuu!**


	29. Chapter 28: Roots

Chapter 28: Roots

"…might want to wake your brother soon…" I could hear my father saying as I briefly opened and closed my eyes, enjoying the solace of one of my increasingly common afternoon naps.

Seconds later, I felt a nudge on my shoulder, causing me to yawn and rub my eyes vigorously before staring blankly at the car seat in front of me.

"Did you have a nice nap?" Komachi asked, adjusting her seat belt.

"Yeah, I did." I responded simply, turning towards her and nodding affirmatively. As I looked out the window of our vehicle, I noticed that we were pulling into the parking lot of the oncology center.

 _Oh, right._ I thought to myself, still regaining awareness of my surroundings.

 _That's where we were going…_

Today was the day I was scheduled to go to what would probably be my last visit to this quiet little place. A couple months ago, I would've just biked myself over, but with circumstances being what they were, my family and I agreed to take the trip together. Of course they were worried about my overall physical health, but even with my condition having progressed as far as it had, I probably could've made the trip on my bike if I absolutely needed to. This was more about spending quality time with my parents and sister, something that we all appreciated.

Soon enough, we came to a stop and got out of the car. As I set foot on the pavement, I was greeted with a series of memories and familiar sensations. The trees swaying in the breeze, the sun setting in the distance, the sliding doors that lay ahead of me… In many ways, it was like the first time I came here. It was the same place after all. However, the purpose of my visit was different and the emotions I felt now couldn't be any further from the way I felt when I walked out of my initial visit. Somehow, I was actually more optimistic now than I was then despite the fact that my fate was sealed as opposed to up in the air.

As the breeze grazed my face, I could hear a faint buzzing register in my ears, a fleeting phantom sound that subsided after a couple seconds. Although hardly an inconvenience, I noticed that I had recently begun experiencing such a sensation much more frequently than I had in the past. There was no doubt as to what was causing it. Along with the increasingly recurrent migraines and regular grogginess, my appetite was beginning to wane. I still ate of course, but food was becoming less enjoyable and sometimes eating felt like force-feeding. I was also beginning to feel a little… off. My thought processes were becoming a little slower and it often took longer to register sights, sounds, smells, etc. Although I knew it had _something_ to do with the small, but terribly located mass growing in the back of my head, part of me was hopeful that this was in part just a series of side effects from all the medication I was on.

After walking through the door, I signed myself in on the check-in list and sat down next to Komachi. Mom sat across from us as Dad handled some paperwork at the front desk, more than likely something to do with insurance.

"So, how has school been for you lately?" Mom asked casually, setting her purse down on the chair next to her.

"It's been pretty busy overall." I replied, happy to pass the time. "We recently had the Culture Festival, Valentine's Day happened, homework has been piling up for everyone, entrance exam results come in any day now, graduation is coming up…"

Mom and Komachi both nodded their heads in understanding. Across the room, I could see my dad walking towards us, tucking a couple papers into an envelope.

"Ahh, right. The end of school frenzy… I remember going through that." Mom responded, glancing slightly upward and lifting her purse so Dad could sit. "How was the Culture Festival?"

"It was really nice, actually." I said, thinking back to pleasant memories from a few weeks ago. "We had the marathon, we got to enjoy all the food stalls, and I got to enjoy some time with friends. It was a nice little respite before all the real craziness began…"

Trailing off, I thought back to the events that had unfolded since then. Of course, the _real_ craziness was more than just the end of year hustle and bustle. My symptoms had begun to escalate and Yukino and I braved through what had proven to be another test in our relationship that ended up strengthening not only our bond, but our character as well. Despite all that, it didn't really feel all that insane. Then again, I had developed a tolerance for insanity-inducing events. A rather excited-sounding Komachi brought me back into the conversation at hand.

"And guess who won the marathon, hmm…" Komachi exclaimed, prodding my arm.

I nodded in affirmatively, smiling at her enthusiastic gabbing.

"Oh, you won the school-wide race?" Dad asked interestedly, his eyes widening a bit.

"That I did." I replied, continuing to nod.

"Must've been all that running you've been doing in the mornings, huh?" Dad responded, reaching over to pat me on the shoulder. "I'm proud of you."

I bowed my head a little in gratitude. Dad handed the envelope over to Mom, who gently placed it in her purse.

"So, what does Yukinoshita-san want to do after she's done with high school?" Mom asked inquisitively.

"Well, from what she told me, she wants to study medicine." I said. "Oncological medicine to be specific."

Komachi and my parents all nodded, sincere smiles forming on their faces. I could tell that it meant just as much to them as it did to me.

"She wants to go to either Tokyo or Kyoto for her undergraduate degree and then go to America for medical school before coming back here for work." I continued. "Pretty solid plan, actually. She made that final decision not too long ago, too."

"You said she's planning on heading to the States for medical school?" My dad asked, raising his brow. "Did she say which school she wants to get into?"

I put my thumb to my chin for a second, trying to remember if Yukino mentioned any names in particular. After a few seconds, I shook my head.

"She didn't say, but my guess would be something along the lines of Harvard or John Hopkins." I replied. "Someone of her caliber probably wouldn't have trouble getting into either one."

"She's a bright young girl with a big heart and some excellent role models." Mom said warmly. "She'll be a great doctor."

"Yeah, that she will…" I murmured.

On that note, I heard a pair of footsteps coming from down the hall accompanied by the sound of a familiar female voice.

"Hikigaya-san?"

I turned my head to see my oncologist standing a few feet away from me, her clipboard in hand.

"Hi, everyone! Everything going alright today?" She greeted, tucking the clipboard under her shoulder. We all nodded in response.

"Okay, then. Good to see the whole family here! Come on back." She said, gesturing with her free hand and turning around to walk back through the hallway.

After walking down the hall, we entered the main consultation office and took sat down in front of my oncologist's desk. Resting my arm on the same smooth railing as during my first visit, I thought back to all the different times I came here. I had experienced so many strange emotions in this little room that it almost felt like a small part of me. From the numbness and fear that I felt the first time I came in to the joy and optimism that I felt when treatment was going well to the despair that I experienced when I came here a little over a month ago, a lot of deep, sentimental moments had taken place here… Which is why it was so bizarre to think that I probably wouldn't ever come here again.

As my oncologist did a few things on her computer, she spoke to me and my parents, asking us a few questions.

"So, how have things been for you overall?" She asked, extending the question to all of us.

"Not incredibly bad." I replied earnestly, scratching my neck a little. "I haven't had to use anything more than the migraine medication I was originally prescribed other than Ibuprofen, so that's good. No seizure episodes, either."

Everyone else nodded, echoing the answer I had given. My oncologist nodded herself and typed a few things in her computer before taking off her glasses and facing us directly.

"Have you noticed any further discomfort or symptoms?" She asked, this time addressing the question to me personally.

"Yes." I replied simply. "I don't eat as much as I used to, although I'm still eating 3 meals a day. My ears ring a little on occasion and sometimes it feels like I'm a little sluggish… Like it takes a little longer for me to process things as if I'm tired or something…"

Pausing for a second, I thought about my recent uptick in afternoon snoozes.

"Speaking of, I have been feeling tired more often as of late."

My oncologist nodded her head, her hands folded on her desk. After a brief lull, she turned a little to face all of us again.

"Is everyone coping alright?" She asked gently, a thoughtful look on her face.

I looked at Komachi and my parents and we all nodded in unison.

"We're doing okay." Mom replied. "We just want Hachiman to feel well as things continue."

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Komachi look out the window, a solemn expression on her face. There was no doubt that this was affecting her and the look in her eyes said the same. After all, the purpose of this visit wasn't to discuss treatment or preventative strategies. According to the paperwork, I was now a hospice outpatient, a title that slightly irked me despite its accuracy.

"…good to hear. I know that this can be overwhelming at times, but it's good to see that you're all holding up." I could hear my oncologist saying as I, too, began to stare out the same window that I had when confronted with many uncomfortable realities here before.

The scene outside looked almost exactly identical to what I saw the first time I came here. Now that the first seeds of spring had just began to blossom, the cherry blossom trees were flowering, catching the radiance of the afternoon sun as it shone. Although it was a sight that I had seen before, it carried more beauty with it than the first time around, when I was merely taking note of my surroundings. The freshness of spring went along with the emotional rebirth I had gone through after the desolation of fall and the cold, bitterness of my winter revelation. Although there wasn't much left for me after that, nothing could take away from its significance.

"…and as you know, the latest scans that we have show that growth of the newest tumor has been extremely aggressive and hasn't responded at all to treatment. On the bright side, however, from what I'm hearing, the symptoms you are experiencing have been much milder than they could have been given the circumstances. Moving forward, it's my utmost priority to make sure that you have all the resources you need available for support, and not just medically, but emotionally and spiritually as well. If there's anything you need, don't feel afraid to call me. It's what I'm here for."

With that, my oncologist got up and shook our hands individually before walking us back out to the waiting room and wishing us a good day. Her compassion and goodwill were duly noted by both me and my family. From day one, she fulfilled her duties faithfully, not only as a physician, but as a person people could come to count on for both advice and support when it came to the struggle of dealing with a terrible, insidious disease. I was thankful for having a person like that to assist me and smiled as I walked out of the building, proud of the fact that Yukino wished to pursue such a noble profession.

After leaving the oncology center, we decided to grab dinner at a local diner, finishing our family outing for the day on a rather savory note. Komachi and I talked about the craziness of school while Mom and Dad opened up about work, sharing funny little office stories and lightening up about an aspect of their life that had previously kept them from us. All in all, it was a good bonding experience and a nice way to end the day.

* * *

As I was getting ready for bed, I noticed a dryness in my throat, so I went downstairs to fetch myself a glass of water. As I walked down the staircase, I noticed that the lights in the living room were still on. Curiously, I looked over to see Komachi standing in front of the fireplace, holding a framed picture in her hands. She didn't look over as I approached her. Instead, she stood motionless, her eyes fixed on the photo with a despondent look on her face. Now standing beside her, I took a look at the picture she had in her hands. It was the same one I had found in my room a while back, instead placed inside of a bamboo frame that had "Children's Day" engraved on top.

"Hey, are you alright?" I asked softly.

Komachi gradually turned towards me, tilting the picture towards the light so both of us could see it.

"Onii-chan, do you remember what things were like when this was taken?" She asked.

I nodded, chuckling in amusement as I saw the comical little facial expressions we wore once again.

"Yeah, I do…" I responded, brushing my finger over the top of the frame. "Things were simpler back then. Much simpler. Easy to see, huh?"

We stood in silence for a minute or so before Komachi put the picture back on the fireplace and began looking at it from a distance, standing next to me again.

"You look so happy in that picture, holding your little ice cream cone." She said, a small smile finding its way onto her face. "Almost as happy as how you looked when you got news that you were getting better…"

She quickly grew quiet again, a sense of melancholy filling the room as she let her last few words disappear into silence. I knew what she was feeling. I could tell since we were at the oncology center and even if she'd managed to find a way to cope, nothing could change the fact that unhappiness and gloom were bound to seep through at moments. After staring at the photo for a minute, she spoke up again, this time with discernable pain in her voice and tear flowing from her eyes.

"It hurts, Onii-chan… Seeing you suffer and watching as you get sicker…"

I moved over and wrapped my arm around her, rubbing her shoulder as we stood toe to toe in front of the fireplace. As the days continued to pass, a rapid decline in health was inevitable. Hell, it was already taking place and I could feel my vitality leaving me as each day went by. If I had a say in how things were going for me, I'd immediately reverse the sickness that was eating away at my life. For the sake of living and survival, sure, but mainly for the people around me who I'd get to spend more time with. Sadly, I was not God and this was not possible.

"I don't know why this happened. I don't want to see you go like this, but there's nothing anyone can do now… It just feels wrong." Komachi said, drooping and staring at the floor dejectedly.

"I know." I replied in agreement. "I hate the lump in the back of my head more than I've ever hated anything in my life. It's going to end up robbing me of _any_ chance I ever had at living out my life."

I said the last part between gritted teeth and squinted eyes, recalling the sadness and angst I felt when I lied in bed the night I had my seizure. As Komachi raised her head and our eyes met again, I continued.

"You see, the thing is… I tried fighting it. Not in terms of treatment. I mean after they told me I had no chance at beating this thing. I tried fighting it emotionally, but that was bound to fail. So I just continued doing what I was doing. Now, I just roll with the punches and live day to day. And living like this, I've learned a lot about life and people that I wouldn't have learned otherwise. It's probably the only silver lining to this situation, but it's one that I'm glad to have experienced.

"I know I'm not going to be around for very long and things are going to get worse, but I'm still here now if you need me." I said reassuringly.

Komachi nodded briefly, wiping her eyes with her sleeves.

"What do we do now?" She asked, her demeanor straightening a bit.

"Well, that depends. What do you wanna do?" I asked curiously. "Wanna play some versus air hockey on our phones?"

"Sure, that'd be nice actually." Komachi answered, a small grin finding its way back on her face. "Double paddles and no score limit, though."

I chuckled at her suggestion and pulled my phone out of my pocket to open the game app.

"Sounds good. Let me get some water first and we'll start." I replied, stepping over to the kitchen to grab myself a glass.

 **A/N:**

 **Not much to say this chapter. I'm back in full force and will be posting as often as I can in the future. See you all next time!**


	30. Chapter 29: A Thought to Consider Pt 2

Chapter 29: A Thought to Consider Pt. 2

As I walked down the school hall, I noticed the gleaming rays of sunlight shining through the window, the reddish tinge of evening not yet present. Among the many ominous things that were eminent, both for myself and my peers, the arrival of spring provided a rather comforting contrast. Talk of exam results, spring break plans and career paths could be heard throughout the vibrant chatter that was going on all around me.

The last week or so had been rather uneventful despite the circumstances. As one would expect, my condition continued to deteriorate although I was far from helpless and incapable at performing my daily tasks. Migraines were still a persistent nuisance despite the medication and drowsiness and lethargy had become the new norm. Caffeine was next to useless when it came to keeping me awake during the day, although going to bed a little earlier in the evenings helped alleviate this to an extent. Running was becoming more of a challenge so I had cut myself down to a couple kilometers every other day and kept my pace at a brisk jog. Testing my limits was no longer feasible as I would fog up mentally and come dangerously close to passing out if I pushed myself too hard. I had also dropped a few kilos over the course of the last month or so, but no one seemed to notice. Being labelled as a palliative patient still bugged me since the label implied that there was nothing that could be done to treat the cause of my ailment. It was still accurate nonetheless and running away from the reality wasn't possible when my body was constantly reminding me. Nor was it something I planned on doing anymore, anyways...

"…seems like there's a lots of craziness going on around us, right?" I heard a rather bemused Yuigahama ask from my left side.

"Indeed. It is the end of the year, after all." Yukino replied shrewdly although I sensed a tinge of bewilderment in her voice as well. "I'm sure you feel it as well."

Yuigahama nodded affirmatively, aware of the situation yet seemingly anxious about the whole ordeal. Despite the hustle and bustle and the fact that graduation was in about a week, none of us were particularly worried. Yukino and I were comfortable with where we were at and Yuigahama herself knew that all of this was just business as usual.

"So, test results just came in… How did you do, Yukinon?" Yuigahama asked curiously.

"Oh, well… I scored perfect on everything with the exception of Civics. I was off by a couple marks there." Yukino replied, a slight hint of embarrassment showing up in the faint redness in her cheeks.

"Onee-san is probably going to tease me about that one." She added humorously.

"Wow, that's impressive! You probably scored highest out of anyone in the school!" Yuighama exclaimed excitedly. "Did you decide on what school you're going to?"

"Ah, well I'm mainly thinking about either Tokyo or Kyoto University for now, although I'll probably end up going back to the States for medical-"

Yukino paused for a second to grab the key to the clubroom out of her pocket as we arrived. As she opened the door, Yuigahama and I walked in, setting our bags down on the table. Yukino set her bag next to mine and walked over to the sink to make some tea. As she turned on the hotplate, she continued on what she was talking about a minute before.

"As I was saying, I plan on going to the US for medical school and formal training before coming back here to get my license in oncology. If everything goes well, I'll be able to practice here in Chiba." Yukino went on, finishing her idea from before.

Yuigahama nodded quietly, recognizing the motivation behind her decision to want to practice oncology.

"What do you plan on doing after you graduate?" Yukino asked, wrapping the tea mix in the strainer and setting it in the water.

"I plan on going into nursing." Yuigahama replied. "I got into Chiba University so I have some footing there. But there's so many sub-specialties and so many training programs to go through… It's all so confusing."

"That it is." Yukino said, nodding in agreement. "Interesting that we're both going into healthcare… If you need any help laying out your career plan, I'm always glad to lend a hand."

"Thanks!" Yuigahama said enthusiastically. "You know, wouldn't it be cool if we both worked together in the future? You working as a doctor and me working as a nurse in the same office?"

"That certainly would be something now, wouldn't it?" Yukino responded with a light chuckle.

 _That would be interesting... They do make for quite the dynamic duo when they want to._ I thought to myself amusingly.

Of course, we all knew that such a reality would only manifest itself through pure chance. Life's paths would inevitably set them on their own ways, and them working together in the future was actually somewhat unlikely despite the similarities in their interests and their careers. Who knows what would happen in a decade's time? Maybe one or both of them would change career paths or maybe they'd end up working at separate places and never meet professionally. Perhaps Yukino would choose to stay abroad for a longer period of time. The possibilities were endless in that sense. Despite all that, I had a strong feeling that they'd remain close friends for a very long time.

As I kept myself busy verifying club records, Yuigahama glanced over at what I was doing.

"Ah, going through the file accordion?" She asked interestedly, looking back up at me.

"Yeah, I'm just checking to make sure everything's in order. There's an entire year's worth of information in here." I replied.

"Any new requests come in lately that we might have missed?" Yukino asked, keeping tabs on the teapot.

"Nah, I'm not seeing anything." I responded, shuffling through the folder marked for the months of February and March. "There's a few homework help requests, but those were taken care of a week ago."

"I notice Iroha hasn't come in requesting help in preparation for the graduation ceremony." Yukino said jokingly, feigning befuddlement.

"Iroha? She's probably got everything under control if her last visit is anything to go off of." I replied, noting that she came to me with a personal question on behalf of the student council. "I would imagine that the student body is in top shape given her recent work."

Yukino waved me down for a moment before nodding in agreement.

"I know, I know. She did a fantastic job putting together the Winter Festival with just a few words of input and she didn't come to us for help putting together the Culture Festival. Not to mention, it's been a while since we've heard any griping coming from the student council." She pointed out.

"Didn't she also win the election for council president next year as well?" Yuigahama asked, reaching for one of the folders to assist me in record-keeping.

I nodded affirmatively, handing the folder over to Yuigahama.

"Quite handily too, if memory serves me right." Yukino replied. "Something like 85% of the student body voted for her and she was up against three other candidates. She's made quite a name for herself and through hard work no less."

 _That she has._

Iroha had definitely come a long way from where she started and none of us had any doubt in our minds that she'd be able to manage some impressive feats as a veteran student council president.

"I wonder what next year's Winter Festival will look like…" Yuigahama said ponderously, putting a finger to her chin.

"She'll probably put on some sort of Winter Wonderland with food, music, amusements and an even larger tree than last year." I replied.

"I'll probably stop by during my break to check it out." Yukino chimed in while pulling out the cups from under the side table. "It'd be good to see her and all the others again."

"I'll come too! I'll dress Sable up in Reindeer ears!" Yuigahama added heartily.

Yukino and I simultaneously laughed and shook our heads at Yuigahama's last comment. Yukino brought over two cups of freshly brewed tea before fetching her own and sitting next to me. After Yuigahama and I thanked her, she pulled a book out from her bag and started flipping through the pages.

"What, it's in the spirit!" Yuigahama shot back, mildly flustered but equally as amused as I was.

"Don't worry. The picture just looked… a bit silly." I said, chuckling once more.

It was good that we were able to talk like this despite all the anxiety, stress and ominous gloom that surrounded us. Whether it be Yukino's determination or Yuigahama's infectious, cheery spirit or my newfound outlook on life, we all contributed to the strong foundations we used to support one another as we faced the future and shared moments together. Although I worried for them as they went off into the world without me, I knew that they had good heads on their shoulders and most importantly, each other to fall back upon. As I continued shuffling through papers, Yukino perked her head up.

"How's the record-keeping coming along?" She asked, setting down her book and taking a sip of tea.

"Almost done, actually." I said, noticing that Yuigahama and I were almost through sorting the oldest request logs.

As Yuigahama handed me the folder for April of last year, I filed it away and closed the accordion, leaving it on the table in front of us for the time being.

"Done!" Yuigahama exclaimed.

Yukino tabbed her current page before closing her book and placing it back in her bag. Looking at the clock I noticed that there was only about 15 minutes or so before club period ended.

 _Impressive…_ I thought to myself. _This is the first time in weeks I haven't fallen asleep._

Although I could feel the latent drowsiness setting in, I had managed to keep myself busy for long enough to stay awake throughout the club period, a small blessing. Yuigahama put the accordion in the file cabinet before walking back over to her bag and checking something on her phone. With an expected look, she put it back in her pocket and slung her bag over her shoulder.

"Sable has a vet appointment in about 45 minutes, so I should get going. See you guys later!" She said, waving as she walked out of the clubroom.

Yukino and I waved as she left, leaving a few seconds of silence to ourselves as we pondered what to do with the remaining club time. Just as Yukino was about to say something, I could see a tall figure making its way to the clubroom, its shadow dampening the sunlight that shone through the top windows that separated the room from the hallway.

"Hello. I hope I'm not interrupting anything important." I heard a familiar male voice saying as the door opened.

"Oh, Father?" Yukino reacted, surprised to see that he was here.

"Hello, Yukinoshita-san." I said, equally as surprised to see him here in the clubroom.

"Nice to see you, Hikigaya-san." He replied, raising his head happily. "I think I saw your friend walking out just now. Yuigahama-san, was it?"

Yukino and I both nodded in confirmation.

"She had to take her dog to the vet, so she's leaving a little early today." Yukino stated. "Is today one of your off days?"

Hiro shook his head.

"Unfortunately not. Today was supposed to be one, but I've had to confer with my government associates over a few matters that weren't addressed at our last meeting. I did, however, manage to finish right in time to pay you two a visit which is good enough for me since I've been meaning to for a while now. Hiratsuka-san told me you'd be in this room."

"Thank you for visiting us. That's very kind of you." I said, bowing my head a little.

"Of course, of course." Hiro responded, walking over to the side table and examining one of the tea cups. "Ah, I see you put this tea set to good use. Is it fine if I have a little?"

Yukino nodded gently. Hiro then poured himself a cup and joined us, sitting at the end of the table where Yuigahama was a few minutes ago. Sighing, he took his sunglasses off the top of his head and carefully placed them in his shirt pocket.

"Must be a busy time of year, especially for you two." He said, relaxing a bit. "With graduation in a week and all the end of year festivities going on, I'm sure you're both probably a little exhausted."

"It's been a little insane, but we've managed." I replied earnestly, scratching the back of my head.

"I heard you were nominated to give the graduating speech for your class." Hiro said interestedly. "Congratulations! It must be an honor."

"Thank you." I responded. "It is an honor and I'm grateful to have the opportunity to do something like that."

Setting down his cup and folding his hands, Hiro sighed before looking at me and briefly closing his eyes.

"I also heard the tragic prognosis that you were given a few weeks ago. I'm sorry to hear." He said, his voice a bit lower. "That's tough news for anyone to receive, especially for someone your age. Are you doing alright?"

I nodded, looking down at the table for a second before speaking up.

"Everything's okay for the most part. It took some time to process and work through personally but I'm alright. Health-wise, I'm on palliative care although things haven't gotten too bad… yet. I'm still running in the mornings, so there's that."

"That's good. Keeping active is always helpful." Hiro replied. "You know, I heard about a couple other achievements you managed to pull off. Winning the school marathon, scoring within the top 5 of your class. It takes dedication to do all that, but to do it while going through what you went through? That takes heart and courage."

Heart and courage. These were two things I didn't possess just under a year ago. Last spring, I wouldn't have imagined being able to strive for greatness like I did now, nor would I have had the ambition to. Just eight months ago, I was a nervous wreck unable to communicate thoughts or feelings properly. I had little insight on the bigger picture of things. However, through the struggles and experiences, I gained an unwavering perspective that carried me to where I was now against all odds. Yukino smiled proudly as she heard her father speak, knowing firsthand many of the things he was talking about as well as what it took to get there.

"I have no doubt in my mind that you've deeply touched all those who've had the privilege of knowing you." Hiro continued, a reflective, yet content look on his face. "I would like to thank you for setting an inspirational example for those who follow in your footsteps and most importantly for being a wonderful friend of Yukino's. I can tell you two have grown a lot together and I can see the positive impact you've had on her life. I can't express enough how much of a boon you've been."

Of course, the gratitude went both ways. The promise that Yukino and I made to each other months ago helped me weather through storms that I otherwise would have succumbed to. Her support helped me through the darkest period of my life. Her father's words of wisdom when he visited me in the post-operational ward helped me shape the outlook that I had now. We were all connected and whether we were aware of it or not, this was a team effort.

"I would like to thank you as well, actually." I said, looking between Yukino and her father. "Your support and words of wisdom were inspiring and I'm glad to have taken them to heart."

"Words of wisdom passed down from a man I knew well who you strikingly reminded me of." Hiro replied, bowing his head slightly. "I apologize if I got a little too sentimental. This all means a lot to me and I had to get it off my chest."

For a moment, we all sat in silence as the contemplative mood wore off. I could tell that Hiro was sincere in his words and his gratitude and I appreciated his statements. Perhaps he was right about my actions touching those around me. By tackling my inner demons and not being afraid to call for help when it was needed, I forged strong, genuine bond with those close to me and inspired others to do the same. My greatest achievement wasn't setting a personal 10K record, propelling myself upward in class rank, winning the marathon, or being nominated to give the graduation speech. Maybe it had to do less with anything I was striving for on the surface. Perhaps it had more to do with inspiring others to do great things while remaining true to themselves- no, discovering who they really were.

A ring of the bell signaling the end of post-curricular period brought me back into reality. Yukino collected our cups and took them to the sink, where she began washing them.

"Ah, right! The original reason I came here." Hiro said, holding up his finger and letting out a wide grin. "Considering that I still have the rest of the day free, I was going to take you both out for dinner. Say, how about you decide the place? It'll be my treat."

Yukino and I both looked at each other with knowing eyes before Yukino paused what she was doing and looked at her father.

"You know that old Korean barbeque place you used to take me to as a kid?"


End file.
